stop worrying. no, seriously, stop it.

 

Ah, rainy Mondays! You gotta love 'em. It's really coming down out there, rain beating down on the concrete and grass outside my office window. The sky is a dark, dark gray -- the kind of gray that tells you it's never, ever going to stop raining so you better just give up hope. It's the kind of day when all of my worries -- the big ones, the little, tiny ones -- creep to the front of my mind and taunt me. They beg me to indulge them and pout when I try to smother them with positive thoughts.

On the way to work I heard a new Kanye West song, "Paranoid," and it's lyrics jumped right out of those speakers and slapped me in the face. West sings,"Baby, don't worry about it/Hey there, don't think even about it/You worry about the wrong things/The wrong things," and, later in the song, "Don't worry about what we can't control/All the talk in the world lost in the world/Till you finally let that thing go." Umm, way to go West! How inspiring are those words? For me, on a day when worried thoughts are huddling in my mind, ready to pounce on all of the happiness and take it down, this song is pretty awesome. (Note: I'm pretty sure the purpose of the song is for West to tell some girl to spend the night with him and not worry about what she's heard about him, which I'm not really sure I'm supportive of; however, the lyrics I've posted here are pretty inspiring so I'll focus on that for now.) I definitely felt inspired when I heard these words this morning, driving through the awful, awful rainy to work. These words in particular really got me: "you worry about the wrong things." I instantly thought to myself, Do I? Do I worry about the wrong things? And, really what are the right things to worry about? Is worrying about anything really useful?

Personally, I don't see the point in worrying. It gets you absolutely nowhere. However, that doesn't mean I don't worry. In fact, I'm a worrier. A worry-wart. I waste more time worrying than anyone ever should. So today I'm going to put it on my To Do List: STOP WORRYING. I just looked up "how to stop worrying" and came across some suggestions from Dale Carnegie's book (written in 1948):

 

• Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing the "wibber gibbers" (hahahaha, WTF are wibber gibbers!?)
• Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things -- the mere termites of life -- to ruin your happiness.
• Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself, "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
• Cooperate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
• Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
• Let the past bury its head. Don't saw sawdust.

 

It's amazing how great that advice still is, all of these years later (wibber gibbers, haha...still can't stop thinking that's funny...). Seriously though, Carnegie has some great advice here and, surprise surprise, a lot of it has to do with staying in the present. Worrying typically has to do with the past or the future. If we stay in the present -- and stay positive! -- we won't find ourselves worrying. If you find yourself worrying today (and, let's be serious, who isn't worrying at some point on any given day), try putting to use Carnegie's tactics. They might be from 1948, but they're still great.

Until you can master that worrying mind, here are a few great worry-related quotes to take your mind off whatever it is you're fretting about:

 

If I had my life to live over,
I would perhaps have more actual troubles
and fewer imaginary ones.
Don Herald

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles
By the ears, by the heels, or any other way
you can manage it.
Mark Twain

If things go wrong, don't go with them.
Roger Babson

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow,
it only saps today of its joy.
Leo Buscaglia

Do not anticipate trouble
or worry about what might never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
Ben Franklin

I keep the telephone of my mind open
to peace, harmony, health, love, and abundance.
Then, whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear try to call me,
they get a busy signal and they soon forget my number.
Edith Armstrong

Worrying is like a rocking chair.
It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.
Glenn Turner

We can easily manage if we will only take,
each day, the burden appointed to it. 
But the load will be too heavy for us
if we carry yesterday's burden over again today,
and then add the burden of the morrow
before we are required to bear it.
John Newton

Comments

[Alex @ Happiness in this World]

How funny that you'd post about this today as I just posted a similar-themed entry on my own blog (I guess worry is a common theme in people's lives). I totally agree with the sentiment that worry is always about the future. How annoying is it that our pesky higher order minds just can't keep away from thinking about the future? Thanks for the pick-me-up.

[Hayden Tompkins]

I'm a big fan of the Serenity Prayer. 'Accept the things you cannot change and the courage to change the things you can.' YES

[positively present]

Hayden - Great prayer and I totally support following it. We'd all be a lot better off if we just listened to that advice!

Alex - That IS funny! I'll have to go over to your site and check it out. :)

[Shannon (The Daily Balance)]

great post and SO true. Sometimes we need to just let go and realize that not everything is in our control. LOVE the Serenity Prayer -- it has kept me level-headed many a time!

[Anita]

Your posts are all great! Keep them coming!

[Jewel/Pink Ink]

I agree!

Although I still worry sometimes :-) especially about what other people are thinking.

And then I tell myself. Oh, well, there's nothing I can do about it. So I skip the worry.

[positively present]

Shannon - We definitely need to do more letting go and realizing that worrying doesn't solve our problems. If there's something you can do, do it. If not, let it go!

Anita - Thanks so much! :)

Jewel - I definitely worry a lot (as much as I don't want to) and you bring up a good point in relation to what other people are thinking. When I wrote this post, I didn't think about that kind of worry but I think it's a really big one for a lot of people (including me!). Perhaps I'll write a separate post on that idea... thanks for the inspiration! :)

[Vikum]

Yes of course. We don't need to live with worries. Just kick them off and get filled your life with joy. Those tips are great. I too have read Carnegie's book and have practically used those tips and got results few time in my life.
Thanks for sharing.

[positively present]

Vikum - It's great to hear that you've used those tips and that they've worked. You're right about kicking off worries. There's no need for them!

[Raphael Araujo]

I USED to be a chronic worrier. Most people who worry have deep rooted issues with control. They are control freaks and they worry when things don't turn out the way they want them to. Being concerned and being worried are 2 different things!

[adam]

excellent stuff. worrying is one of the many uptight things i'm working on shedding these days. i love the first quote, in particular:

If I had my life to live over,
I would perhaps have more actual troubles
and fewer imaginary ones.

that's so appropriate. our worries so rarely actually happen, and even if they do, it's always something we can handle.....so it's not worth the worry it caused leading up to it.

[adam]

oh, i just saw you've put me in your Wonderful Websites list! thanks so much, that's awesome!

[positively present]

Raphael - You're completely right. There is a strong link between a need for control and worrying. If you can let go of the need for control, the worries will probably lessen.

Adam - I really liked that quote too because it really is true. We worry so much about things that don't even end up happening. For example, I have a friend right now who is worried about losing her job because she saw that her boss was having lunch with an old colleague who has the same position she does but at a different company. While this could be the case, it's not necessarily so and I told her not to worry about it until she knows what the situation is. So often we create these imaginary situations in our minds and they never actually happen. Sometimes I think we even will them to happen with our worrying thoughts! Your website is wonderful so of course it made the list! :)

[J.D. Meier]

I especially like the "cooperate with the inevitable" ... sometimes your best move is to just go with the flow.

[Davina]

"Rainy days and Mondays..." Remember that song by the Carpenters? Well now, worry? What's that? :-) Have to admit, I know it all too well.

The quote by Mark Twain was my favourite: "Drag your thoughts away from your troubles By the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it."

[positively present]

J.D. - Good point. As I wrote about it today's post, some things are out of your control and you just have to go with it.

Davina - Unfortunately I think we're all a bit too familiar with worry when, as you know, it really doesn't do anything for us. That Twain quote is one we should all pay more attention to!

[Mark]

Yes, when we live in the moment, there is no time to worry! Thanks for all of the thoughts.

[positively present]

Mark - You're welcome! And you're right -- living in the moment leaves no room for worrying!