hey you! where are you going?

 

Where are you going
with your long face pulled down
Don't hide away like an ocean
that you can't see but you can smell
And the waves crash down

I am no superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero, oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be
Where are you going?
Where do you go?

Are you looking for answers
To questions under the stars?
Well, if along the way you've grown weary
You can rest with me 'til a brighter day
You're okay

I am no superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero, oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be
Where are you going?
Where do you go?

  

That's a lovely little ditty by Dave Matthews Band called "Where Are You Going?" and when I heard it for the first time in a long time the other day it really made me think. I'm pretty sure it's a song that he's singing to his wife or someone, but, of course -- you know me -- I make it all about me. I think of it as a song I'm singing to myself. I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know that where ever that is, that's where I'm going to want to be. I think of this song as another one of those self love songs. I ask myself where I'm going and I know I don't have the reasons right now, but I'm searching for the answers and, if I get overwhelmed, I know that I can rest for awhile and self-soothe until a better day, until I'm okay. (Not quite as romantic as Matthews' version, but it'll have to do for now.)

I don't know about you, but I'm not quite sure where I'm going. The past few days I've been thinking about this novel that's brewing inside me. I think I have a pretty good idea about what I want to write about (and I have been super inspired by one of the books I'm reading right now, Susan Shapiro's Lighting Up: How I Stopped Smoking, Drinking, and Everything Else I Loved in Life Except Sex), but, as always, it's just a matter of getting started. I think I have an idea of where I want to be going, but I'm just not necessarily on the road yet. So I thought to myself last night I was I was lying in bed, my little pup pressed up against my back, "How can I get this done? How can I get on the road to doing what I really want?" First, I needed to figure out where I wanted to go:

 

5 Ways to Figure Out Where You're Going

1. Ask yourself questions. Ask "What do I really, really love to do?" and, my personal favorite, "If I have all of the money in the world, how would I spend my days?" This one always sets me off and makes me realize that I'm not doing what I want to do. It gets me going and hopefully it will do the same for you.
2. Make a (new) happy list. Think of all of the things that make you happy (if you have one, take out your happy list!) and try to find a way to make sense of how they can help you on your path to figuring out where you want to go in life. Sometimes the seemingly small things ("I like dogs") could point you in a new and exciting direction ("I could write about a book about my love for dogs!"). You never know...
3. Evaluate your life. (Yikes!) This one's scary. Think about your job. Think about the people in your life. Are they helping you? Are they in tune with the path you want to be on? If not, think about how (and when) you can make some changes.
4. Assess who you are. What kind of person are you? Are you shy but you want to be a rock star? Does your destination fit who you are are as a person? If not, think about how you can change the way you are (if you want to) or how you can better strive for a better suited goal. For example, if you're super shy and you want to be a rock star, think about signing up for a course on public speaking. Work on getting over your fears. Or, on the flip side, think about other careers that involve that life but aren't necessarily about being in the spotlight, such as working in PR for a record label or doing song writing. You can change or you can stay the same. Either way, you can get pretty darn close to what you want in life.
5. Create a to-don't list. This idea was inspired one of my new favorite books, How to Be Happy Dammit. (Check it out if you haven't already!) Here's how it works. Make a list of things that you don't want in your life. Check back in with #3 and make sure that none of those things are on the list. If they are, find a way to stop doing/seeing/being them. If they aren't, think of ways you can acheive your goals without having to do any of the items on your to-don't list.

 

Okay, so you've figured out (or at least have a plan to figure out) where you want to go. Now you need a road map... Stay tuned. Yup, I'm keeping you in suspense...Tomorrow I'm going to write about creating a road map for where you want to go in life. Get your compass and your pencil ready 'cause tomorrow we're going to create a map leading straight to Happy Town. Woohoo! 

Comments

[kirwin]

This is great. I have a feeling I'll be referring back to this list many times. ; )

(glad to be back on a computer!) LOL

[positively present]

Kirwin - I'm glad you liked it. And I'm glad you're back too! :)

[Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker]

I like your list and I like the title of the book you suggested, How To Be Happy Dammit. Very often we can become so determined to be happy that we lose track of the present moment where happiness is always waiting to be noticed.

[Caroline]

I really like this approach...especially the happy list part (makes it much more fun!).

[RML]

Thank you for your nice comment on my blog :)

I really like the idea of a to-don´t list. I think it will be a lot shorter than and easier to stick to than my endless to-do lists. I still have a lot of unhealthy behaviours that would belong here.

[positively present]

Patricia - I love your comment. You are completely right. So often we are focused on finding happiness (usually looking outside of ourselves) that we forget that happiness is right here, within us, and that we can access it at any time. You should definitely check out the book. It's a super fast read and it's got some great advice in it (and pretty pictures too!).

Caroline - Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. If you don't already have a happy list, you should create one. They are great to have and so much fun to reflect back on.

RML - You're welcome! Thanks for your feedback. I can't take credit for the to-don't list idea, but I thought it was really great. There are a million things we want to do, but there's usually a shorter (and more manageable) list of things we don't want to do.

[Hilary]

Hi Positively Present .. I found that I started refusing to do things I didn't want to do .. ie things that I could refuse .. and it's certainly made my life easier - I make my decisions and get on with everything else - especially at the moment with my mother.

I like this and look forward to reading tomorrow's map ..

thanks - Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters

[positively present]

Hilary - I'm glad that you've stopped doing the things you don't want to do. I also am trying to do this and while it's not always easy, it ultimately makes me much happier to do the things that make me happy.