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I love this post! For a long time I was more solitary than social. I thought this was a good way to be because I felt independent...and perhaps more importantly, safe. But I missed out on many opportunities to share joy and experience connection with other people. Nowadays I strive for a healthy balance--time spent growing through my relationships, and reflecting on who I am and what I want. Admittedly, the writer's lifestyle tips the scale a tad, but I do work at it. Thank you for reminding me about the important of balance :)

Great post! Balance is definitely the answer.

Thankfully, I am one of those people who are productive when alone.

Oh, I loved this one, too. I laughed out loud! PP (that's short for Positively Present), I'm a 'loner' too. I love my own company. But I can definitely get sick of myself and most certainly enjoy time spent with good friends and family. As others have said - balance. For me, I think it's a 70/30 split ... with me-time getting about 70%. :)
Best line in this blog: "Sure, I can talk to myself (or my dog), but it's not quite the same." I replaced 'dog' with 'kitties.' Thank you for the post.

Have a good weekend.

Lori - You make such a good point about safety! When I'm alone, I feel safe, which is probably why I like it so much, but, you're right, when I stay home I miss out on a lot of joy and experiences. It's definitely important to have a healthy balance, but, I agree, the writer's life can make it difficult at times. Thanks for your comment. You really gave me something to think about, especially in relation to isolation and safety.

Lily - That's great that you can benefit from time alone! I'm glad you liked the post and agree that balance is the answer. Balance really is the answer for so many things in life.

Chania Girl - Haha. I'm glad I made you laugh! I'm probably about 70/30 too. I think I could work more on being social, but I will always be more of a loner at heart. I hope you have a great weekend too!

Just like you, I bounce back and forth between wanting to be social and wanting to be solitary. Of course, when in one state, the other always seems to be the better choice! But you have articulated reasons for each perfectly, and advocated for balance at the same time - how do you balance when you feel like a ping-pong ball?

OMG, you have no idea how much I enjoyed reading this. For the most part I felt like I had written it. We are definitely kindred spirits because I can relate to what you've said 100%. And I love how you've shared a positive focus for both sides of the equation of being. Thank you for being so honest and authentic. Brilliant!

Kiki - That's a great question. It's definitely not easy to balance it all, but I try the best I can. When someone invites me to do something, I think to myself, "Do I really want to do this? Is this the way I want to spend my time?" If it is, I say yes. If not, then I try to think about another way to spend time with the person. I also make sure that I have at least one night a week to myself to relax.

Davina - I'm SO glad you enjoyed the post and could relate to it so well. That's great to know that someone else feels the same way. The old me would have just said, "Oh, I don't like people. I'd rather be alone," but the new me is all about trying to see the positive which is why I wrote about the positive aspects of both. Making those lists made me realize how both socializing and spending time alone can be good for me. Thanks for your encouragement. I really appreciate it! :)

I really like the way you took a balanced approach to the need to socialize and the need for solitude. In the West, we tend to think of people that like a lot of solitude as weird. In the East and especially in Buddhism, they have a great appreciation for solitude.

I personally have about a 70/30 split in favor of solitude. But I think that everybody is different and we each have to find our own balance.

It is truly about balance...As with most things in our life...tip the scales to far to one side, and we fall...

Great post....

Hi Positvely Present .. thanks for this .. identifying the benefits of both sides of the argument. I'm very happy being by myself - fortunately .. and don't hanker after people .. however when I moved country to South Africa and became part of a large squash club & became a committee member .. that opened my social skills enormously. Networking opened my eyes to talking to others .. which I'm probably pretty good at now & has held me in good stead during the time my mother has been in hospital - and is now developing my self-improvement and personal development skills .. always improving and learning ..

Good post and I'll be back to read again .. thanks

Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters

Roger - Thanks! I'm glad you liked the approach. It definitely would be easier for me to go on and on about what's great about being alone, but I know that's not all there is in life. Like you, I'm probably 70/30 in favor of solitude, but I'd like to be 60/40. I know I'll always prefer alone time, but I do get a lot out of being with others (even when I have to force myself to do it, haha).

Dawn - I'm so glad you liked the post! You make such a good point about tipping the scale too far. If we are too far on one side, things are not going to be good. Thanks for that insight!

Hilary - I agree; being with others can be really eye-opening and it can be SO helpful when you move to a new place. In addition, the support you get from others is priceless. Thanks for checking in on PP. :)

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