it's a bella life

 
In Italian the word "bella" means beautiful. To me, the word "bella" means a whole lot more. You see, Bella is the name of one of my favorite buddies -- my dog.  This weekend I spent a lot of time with her (oh, who am I kidding, I always spend a lot of time with her) and I realized that she has a lot to teach me about the world. She's pretty appropriately named considering (1) she's beautiful and (2) she seems to think the world is beautiful too. For the most part she sees the good, wagging her tail and embracing this odd life she's been given, living in a pack of humans who spoil her like crazy. Though she barks ferociously at the FedEx truck and she tends to be unnecessarily skittish around strangers, she generally seems to have a good outlook on life.

For awhile I've avoided writing about her for two reasons: (1) she's such an important part of my life that I didn't want to focus too much on her, something that is pretty close to my heart and (2) I didn't want to turn non-dog lovers off with a post all about the joys of having a dog. This blog isn't about dogs. In fact, this post isn't even about dogs. This post is about living the most beautiful -- bella -- life that you can. And I happened to learn a lot of these things from observing my dog. You could probably pick up on these things from spending time with kids or cats (or whatever other pet you might have), but I learn a lot, every day, from my little Bella. Silly as it may sound, she's an inspiration to me. And I hope she can be inspiring to you too! Don't get turned off by the fact that she is merely a little eight pound pup -- she has a lot to teach us about the world. I just came across this quote and it's perfect: 

 

"In order to really enjoy a dog,
one doesn't merely try to
train her to be semi-human.
The point of it is to open oneself to
the possibility of becoming partly a dog." 

Edward Hoagland 

 

Check out what I've learned from Bella below and then take some time to look around in your own world. Where can you gain inspiration? Do you have children or animals you can watch and learn from? Do you have amazing people in your life (yes, adults can be inspiring too!) that you can gain insight from? If we open our eyes and really look around, inspiration is everywhere... One note before I go on. The image above is Bella. Originally I put up a picture of another pup, but I decided to change it and expose the real inspiring force behind this post.  

 

Lessons on Living a Bella Life

• Be aware of the world. Look around at everything. You see so much from just being aware. For example, Bella noticed an adorable bunny hiding in the bushes near my apartment (yes, she tried to attack it, but that's beside the point!). I never would have see the bunny with my nose stuck in my book if I hadn't felt the tug of the leash as she lunged in its direction. Keep your eyes and ears open...there is so much to see!
  
  
  
• Live in the moment. You all know I LOVE this one. But it's so important so I'll say it again (and again and again). Bella has taught be to be present in a way that I don't think people quite understand. She is there, in the moment, all the time. Aside from the occasions when she needs to go outside or is in desperate need of a new bone (and, yes, she does act like this is a desperate situation), she doesn't think about the future. She doesn't worry. She doesn't recall the past and dwell on it. Maybe it's because she physically cannot think that way, but we can program ourselves to be like her, to live in every moment.
  
  
  
• Find time to play. I don't know about you, but playing isn't on my To Do list today. I just don't think about it much. But Bella is always there to remind me, tearing me away from my computer with a toy in her mouth and a hopeful look in her eye. Even when I'm at my busiest, I can't turn her down when it comes to playing. She reminds me that it's important to take a time out, to just romp and run and enjoy fun.
  
  
  
• Know what you like. Some might call her picky, but I think it's wonderful that Bella chooses what she likes and refuses to settle for anything else. She likes certain flavors of her food and won't eat other flavors. Picky, yes, but also sure of what she likes. If she doesn't like something, she won't eat it. I don't know if that's true for all people...I think a lot of us do/eat/say things we don't want to. Why? We have the ability to choose. If you don't like it, don't do it -- that's what Bella would say!
  
  
  
• Use your voice. Bella's a lady of few words, but when she wants something -- really wants something -- she lets you know it. Let's say she really wants me to give her a new bone. She sits beside the couch, first growling and then barking, until she gets what she wants. Of course, this is a horrible quality in a dog, I know. But I cannot help but admire her persistence. She doesn't give up. She wants something and she will not stop until she gets it. She speaks up when she needs something (like to go out) and warns us when she thinks there is danger (like a deadly FedEx delivery). Speak up like Bella and let the world know what you want!
  
  
  
• Take time to rest. Bella isn't shy when it comes to just laying down and taking a nap -- anywhere. She'll sleep on the couch, my bed, her bed, the floor, the closet, under a chair. She's not picky when it comes to her resting spots. How about us though? How often do we really, truly rest? I only rest when I'm sleeping which is about 7-8 hours every night. I don't take naps. I don't meditate (I know, I need to start!!). I don't relax really. I'm on the go always, always doing something or writing something or reading something. We should all take a lesson from Bella and spend more time just being, just relaxing.
  
  
  
• Give lots of kisses. While some might say Bella's obsessive licking is a problem, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say that it's really sweet. She wakes me up with her tongue going, just dying to give me some morning kisses. One of the things I remember thinking when my last dog died -- the beautiful, amazing, wonderful Pooky -- is that I wish I'd let her lick me more. I was always turning away and saying "Eww! Stop it!" and when she died I couldn't help but long for one last little lick. So, with Bella, I say, bring on the lovin'! We could certainly all benefit from a few more kisses in our lives, right?
  
  
  
• Go after what you want. She spots a bunny in a bush or a squirrel on the run, and suddenly the leash is taunt, her eyes and ears are focused, and all eight pounds of her are practically dragging me across the sidewalk. When Bella wants something, she goes after it. Being the animal lover that I am, I always reign her in and encourage her not to torture the friendly animals, but she is relentless. Just like when she wants a bone or a treat, she will persist. Bella's persistence is inspiring. How often do you want something and just sit around waiting for it to come to you? Bella would have never cornered that bunny in our tennis court if she hadn't gone for it with gusto! (Don't worry, the bunny was not harmed if you don't count the look of absolute terror on it's little face.)
  
  
  
• Cuddle every morning. Every morning, after the alarm has gone off and I've finished reviewing the emails on my BlackBerry, Bella crawls under the covers and cuddles with me. Sometimes she wakes me early, just to do this. We all might not have someone to cuddle with every morning, but you can indulge in some sort of early morning ritual that makes you happy. Seeing Bella's happy face, her tail wagging when she knows that I've finished checking my emails, makes getting out of bed so much easier. Find something that brings you joy every morning and the day will seem a lot less daunting.
  
  
  
• Be very curious. Everything is interesting when you're less than a foot off the ground. Bella notices almost everything -- blades of grass tainted with other dogs' scents, tiny scraps clinging to the carpet, new outfits that I've laid out neatly on my bed, the sound of the cabinet where her bones are kept opening, the tone of a voice when someone is angry, the drops of rain sliding down the window (she tries to lick them), an empty can of Red Bull on the side of the road. Bella is aware and she wants to know more. When I'm gathering the mail from my mailbox on the first floor, she is always craning her neck around the corner to see if anyone's coming. When I let her out on the balcony, she will spend hours and hours watching cars and dogs and neighbors. Be curious like Bella. Be aware, but take it one step further and seek more information.
  
  
  
• Greet others happily. When you meet Bella for the first time, her tail is wagging and her little body is moving with joy --  unless confronted with a male or a stranger (okay, yes, this is a lot of the population... Bella has a few issues she needs to work out...). Bella is (most of the time) friendly. And with those she knows and loves she acts as if it is the absolute best thing in the world that you've come to see her. After work when I pick her up from day care she acts as if she hasn't seen me in years. She is so happy. Now, I'm not saying we should all act like over excited dogs when we see each other, but think about how you act (especially to those you see all the time). Do you smile? Do you hug? Do you act as if it's truly pleasant to see the person?
  
  
  
• Listen carefully. While sometimes her careful listening can be a pain (why must she bark when someone down the hall comes home?), it's really interesting to see how aware of sounds Bella is. She can recognize the sound of the garage door opening. She knows what a certain tone of voice means. How aware are we of what we hear? Right now I can guarantee you that I'm blocking out the sounds of my office so that I can write this. Often I ignore the tone in someone else's voice because I don't want to deal with the emotions that have triggered it. More importantly, I often don't listen to my own tone. We could all benefit from listening a little harder. We would be surprised, I'm sure, of what we would hear...
  
  
  
• Know when to stop. When I'm playing with Bella, there's no doubt in my mind about when she no longer wants to play. That final time I throw the toy and she doesn't come back with it, I know. When she flops down on the floor, panting, it's clear. We don't always take the cues our bodies and minds give us when it comes to stopping. We keep pushing on sometimes when we should really stop. There are many, many times that I needed rest and I didn't take a time out. There are many unfortunate times when I pushed an issue I shouldn't have. Do like Bella does and recognize when it's time to stop. And, remember, there will usually be another chance to pick up your toy and start playing.
  
  
  
• Have happy dreams. Over the weekend I was working on some art, when I heard a thump, thump, thumping noise coming from the couch. I glanced over and saw Bella, napping, her tail thumping happily against the pillow behind her. This wasn't the first time I'd seen this, but it made me incredibly happy to see that, even in her dreams, she was happy. Of course I instantly wondered what she was dreaming of. A person? A dog? A toy? A treat? I will never know but what I do know is that I want to have dreams like that. I want to dream with my tail wagging. I'm not sure exactly how to do this, but I do think that positive thinking during the day can really help impact your mind at night. We have to believe in positivity always, deep down in our souls, in order to have dreams like Bella's.
  
   
• Appreciate new things. It started when I was away for two years in California. Every time I came home for a visit, I brought Bella a toy. Every time she acted like I'd given her the best gift ever. And every time I bring her something from the grocery store or Target or when we celebrate her birthday or Christmas, she acts as if every toy is the very best toy. I've never seen a dog so ready to embrace new things. Our beloved Pooky would like some toys, but usually went back to her old standbys (like Bunny and Hippo). Bella, on the other hand, is so happy to have any new toy. I love her excitement. It makes me want to buy her toys all the time, just seeing how happy they make her. Think about this in your own life. Are you really grateful for gifts? Do you really express your gratitude like you should, with expressions of delight and happiness? I know I don't always do this, but I should always, always be grateful for the kindness of others.
  
  
  
• Let someone help you. When you're eight pounds, less than a foot tall, and live with a different species, you're going to need some help every once and awhile. Bella needs to be fed. Bella needs to be taken out. Bella needs to go to the vet. Bella needs help getting on the bed. Bella needs to be carried on the elevator (she's scared). Bella needs help getting her toy that's too close to the vent (she's scared again). Bella needs. Being who she is and where she is, Bella needs a lot of help. But she's okay with that. She asks (in her dog way) to get on the bed. She asks me to pick her up when the elevator dings open. She asks to be taken out when she has to go. I, on the other hand, want to do everything myself. I could learn a lot from Bella by letting others help me out more often.
  
  
  
• Be a good friend. To me, this is the most important element in living a Bella life. Bella is a GREAT friend to me. No one else in the world would lick my tears when I cry (okay, maybe someone would, but that would just be sick). She stays (literally) by my side. She is always happy to see me, no matter what kind of mood I'm in. She listens (yes, I do talk to her sometimes). She  looks positively panicked when she sees that I'm upset. She does her best to comfort me. She greets me every morning with joy and happiness. There is a bond between us that is strange but wonderful and I really do consider her a friend. We should all treat each other the way Bella treats me -- by being comforting, loving, and happy with each other.

 

For those who aren't dog (or animal) people, you might think that I'm a complete wacko right now. You might think there is no way that a dog can be an inspiration to people, but it's true. "Man's [or woman's] best friend" certainly isn't something I made up and you know there are countless books on why dogs are good for people (15 minutes of petting a day can significantly reduce stress, I read somewhere!). Dogs are amazing beings and I'm so grateful, every single day, to have one in my life. My friend Lauren got a puppy this weekend and I'm so excited for her. She is headed for a lot of work, but she is also headed for a lot of love and learning. Over the past five years, I've learned so much from Bella. She really does help me see the beauty in the world. The world is beautiful. It's up to YOU to make your life a Bella one.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on living a Bella life. How do YOU live your most beautiful life?

The day after I wrote this post, I received this wonderful quote in my inbox (courtesy of Oprah's Quote of the Day!):

 

"Because animals seem to dwell in the present moment,
because their own presence is so instinctive,
their attention so unwavering, the offer us
a different kind of compassion than humans do.
Anyone is lucky to have both human and
animal comfort in their lives."

Brenda Peterson

  

Wonderful quote, isn't it? Thanks, Oprah, for emailing it to me! ;) I really do believe that people benefit greatly from having both animals and humans in their lives (though I personally prefer the former). What Peterson has written about animals is so true -- they dwell on the present moment. If you want to live in the present moment, it's important to surround yourself with others who are also striving to live in the present. It's a lot harder to be focused on the present if you're surrounded by people who are dwelling on the past or anxiously awaiting the future. That's the great thing about animals -- they are pretty much always in the present moment. So if you don't have an animal in your life (and you don't dislike them), you should think about getting one -- or, at least, spending time with one. You'd be surprised how much more in the present you'll feel when you spend time with a creature that does nothing but think about the now! For those of you dog lovers out there, Oprah has a list of great dog books on her site. You can check 'em out here.

Comments

[Megan Bord]

What a fun post! I don't have a dog, but I like them. Animals are great teachers about living a happier, more balanced life. Someone once pointed out to me that after two ducks have a fight, they walk away from each other and just fluff their feathers to release that energy. Then they're fine! If only humans could do the same thing. Hope your day's a great one!

[Liara Covert]

Animals also teach that senses are expanding. Many human beings have capacities they have not yet begun to explore and develop. It is said animals have a wider range of sensory perception. It is also said that huamsn selectively forget or fear their own potential. Readers may be interested in this post and comments:

http://blog.dreambuilders.com.au/journal/2009/4/26/what-is-nature-telling-you.html

[Vi]

Ooh... I love this post. In fact that's how I began blogging, about my dog. (http://lokitheshiba.blogspot.com). Blogging about my dog (and now dogs) was and is very easy and enjoyable. I think I've learned more about life from my dogs than I have from people. In addition from all that you mentioned, I think I've learned a lot from training my dogs. I've learned that you can train people in very much the same way. Positive reinforcement, baby steps, and the setting appropriate expectations (not too high) can very effectively and happily teach a husband to do dishes. =)

[positively present]

Megan - Animals are definitely amazing teachers. I love the story about the ducks. I didn't know that about them and I think it would be great if we all did that!

Liara - Thanks for sharing your post. It really relates well to this! That's a very interesting point about how animals teach the senses are expanding. They really do!

Vi - Hahaha, that's great what you wrote about training people. So true! I can't wait to check out the blog about your dogs. They can teach us so much about life!

[kirwin]

Okay, so you caught me. I'm not a dog-person. At all.
But...I could relate each one of Bella's lessons to my children -- they're all so true. It makes me wonder: what kind of day would be have if we spent 24 hours living just like them? (Of course, it would have to be a day free of responsibilities) but I wonder what kind of day it would be.

It would be a fun experiment...

[positively present]

Kirwin - That's okay if you're not a dog person! :) I'm actually not a kid person, but I still love reading about your family (especially that GREAT b-day party you held for your little girl! so creative!). We can all learn from what other people learn from, right? That definitely sounds like a fun experiment...maybe we can try it someday!

[Birdie]

This is such a great article! It's funny how in the moment our pets, kids, lives can be without us realizing it.

[positively present]

Birdie - Thank you! :) It is amazing, isn't it? Kids and animals are so "in the moment" and it's so great. I really do aspire to be like that and stop fretting about the past and worrying about the future.

[Lisa]

Ohh I LOVE your dog - so adorbz! You're right, animals are awesome, I really want a pug dog, he's on my vision board so I know he'll happen when I'm finally settled in the pink palace - thanks for the insight, bella, bella!

[Roger - A Content Life]

Dani,

LOL...I also have a dog, Bailey, that has taught me similar lessons. Sometimes I feel like my dog is wiser than me.

I've also studied my cat to learn how to properly relax. :)

[positively present]

Lisa - She IS adorbz, isn't she? And she's quite a wise little pup too. Oh, a pug! How cute! You should definitely get one when you're ready. They are fab!

Roger - I know a lovely little golden retriever named Bailey. She is beautiful! I don't have a cat but I really enjoy them as well. They are so smart and I love the whole purring thing. I wish dogs did that!

[Stacey Shipman]

I always learn lessons from my cats. Life is so simple when I look at my cats - they eat, sleep, play, and poop. What more do I need? In fact as I write this I see my cat napping on the couch and I think "that's not a bad idea!"

[positively present]

Stacey - Cats are awesome! We can learn so much from our pets. I hope you're taking a cat nap right now! :)

[Hilda]

This is a great post Dani, and echoes my own, very frequent, thoughts on what we can learn from animals. I grew up around dogs (including one Maltese Terier - is that what Bella is?) and love them.

In recent years though I've also come to love cats, and all but the one about greeting people in a friendly way apply to Riley (she's wary of strangers). And just the other day as I watched her rolling around in the grass I was thinking - yet again - how animals live completely and utterly grounded in the here and now. Eventhough we're supposed to be more evolved, we can learn so much about them.

I thoroughly enjoyed this post : ) I might write about what my cat has taught me one of these days...

[RML]

I decided to take one point from the above list to think about and act upon. "Be very curious". I am still doing too much rushing and not enough stopping to smell the flowers and perhaps discover the new.

[positively present]

Hilda - So glad you liked the post! I love how dogs and cats really do live in the moment. And, yes, Bella is a Maltese. :)

RML - That's a great idea! It's so important to focus on being present and being curious is a great way to do that.

[Hayden Tompkins]

I have cats so people always think I am anti-dog, but that is totally not the case! We just needed animals that could take care of themselves if we didn't make it home on a particular schedule.

This list is 100% awesome. I love how clearly you break down more complicated topics and this post is a perfect example of that.

P.S. Bella is so daggone ADORABLE!

[positively present]

Hayden - I feel like the same is true for people who have dogs. People will bash cats because they know I have a dog, but I love cats too! I actually really like how self-sufficient they are. (If you couldn't tell, Bella's a bit needy! Haha) Thanks for your comment and your compliment about Bella. She's my love and I really appreciate when other people think she's as cute as I do! :)

[Jenny Blake]

What an ADORABLE dog! I loved this post - particularly the quote - because we could all benefit by living life a little more carefree, just like our dogs. My dog is 14 years old and lives with my mom - I take her out every Sunday and it is the best hour of my week. Seeing how happy she is just to be outside exploring always lightens my mood. Thanks for the great post articulating just how much we can learn from our furry little friends :D

[positively present]

Jenny - Thank you! :) That's so great that you still get to see you dog. We can definitely learn a lot from our pups. You dog is so lucky to have you. I bet she loves spending time with you!

[Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings]

What a cutie Bella is! I absolutely LOVE the quote by Edward Hoagland - so true. Dogs have it sussed in my opinion.

[positively present]

Sami - Thanks! :) She definitely lives up to her name! I love that quote too. I'd never read it before but when I found it today and thought it was perfect for this post!

[Kelli]

What a wonderful post. I love the quote.
Have a good evening.

[positively present]

Kelli - Thank you! :) I thought it was a really fitting quote and I'm glad I found it. Thanks for stopping by and for commenting.

[Patricia]

Teachers come in all sizes and shapes and this one is delightful and lovely to behold. Thank you for the post - might I suggest you read Merle's Door another wise teacher. I reviewed the book on my blog and learned so much from this extraordinary writer and relationship.

[positively present]

Patricia - Thanks for your comment. I will definitely check out that book. Though I think it will probably be sad, I'm sure there are many great lessons in it. Thanks for the recommendation!

[steph]

I've written a post very much like this. My dog Lucy is so, so much to me. She's changed my life drastically in so many positive ways. I became a vegetarian because of her. I see animals and humans in much more sensitive ways than I used to. Etc.

I can't imagine a day without her - I just can't stand to.

[positively present]

Steph - Dogs are SO amazing, aren't they? I can't even begin to list all of the ways Bella makes my life better. I'm also a vegetarian! :)

[Miki]

Dani,

You have a positively delightful blog! I love this post about lessons from your dog (I too am a dog lover and live joyfully with 2 bullmastiffs).

I think there's a book here! I see pictures with each of the chapters (the lessons) and quotes that enhance the lesson.

Outstanding! Creative and heart-warming.

[positively present]

Miki - Thank you! :) I'm so happy you like the blog. That makes me very happy. The plan is to write a book at some point...thanks for encouraging me and helping me to believe that it's actually possible!

[veronika]

that quote by Edward Hoagland is so sweet and so true. I know I've changed a lot since I've had Buddy (my crazy bullterier), I've become a better person in some ways. And we have these rituals we do together.. anyways your dog is lovely, Buddy would totally love her too:)

[positively present]

Veronika - Thanks for coming over to PP! I love your site. :) Isn't that quote just the greatest? I was so pleased when I found it! You're lucky to have a dog that likes other dogs. Bella is a bit of a brat in that regard (though she was recently attacked by a neighbor's dog so I guess I shouldn't be too hard on her AND it was probably my responsibility to socialize her more when she was younger!). Buddy is an adorable name...Reminds me of Buddy the Elf from the movie Elf (which I LOVE!).

[Raphael Araujo]

Can totally relate to this post, Dani. My 2 furry kids (Cats) have taught me so much about life. Abraham-Hicks says that you should live your life like a cat: roll on your back, paws in the air and enjoy it! Fantastic post; Bella is a super duper cutie!

[positively present]

Raphael - Aren't animals the best? They really do teach us so much about life! I love that quote...so great!

[Shannanigans]

What a great post and what an adorable dog. I love the quote about trying to become more like a dog instead of expecting your dog to be more human. What a great philosophy.
I am so passionate about animals and what they have to teach us, and I thought this was such a great post that I am printing it up so put by my computer. Along with a pic of my beautiful Pepper :)

[positively present]

Shannanigans - Isn't that quote great!? I'm so glad you're printing it out. That makes me very happy!!