life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

 

 
  

"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is just beyond our grasp,
but, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

In America one of our most famous phrases is "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". It is, in a way, a national motto. We've heard it more times than we can count, but have we ever really stopped to think about what it means? Those who are into quotes like I am are probably very familiar with the Nathaniel Hawthorne quote above. For me, it's the first thing to come to mind when I think about the concept of pursuing happiness. It's a pretty well-known quote about happiness, but, as brilliant as Hawthorne might be, I have to say that I don't entirely agree with what he's saying in the quote. What he's saying is that happiness is a butterfly, a beautiful something that is separate from us, a fleeting something we have to chase or wait for. I, on the other hand, believe this:

We are the butterflies. We are happiness.

As much as we, in America, talk about the pursuit of happiness, I think it would do us some good to realize that happiness is not something external that we must constantly chase or wait for. Happiness is within us and it is up to us to bring that emotion to the forefront of our consciousness and embrace a happy life. Hawthorne's quote -- and the whole idea of the relationships between life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness -- got me thinking. If, as I believe, happiness is within us, what does it mean to pursue it? How can you pursue what you already possess? And why is it that we must pursue happiness, but freedom and life are givens? Shouldn't happiness be a given as well, especially because it's even easier to come by than freedom?

I love this country. I do. I say this having never b een to another country so I have nothing to compare it to, but, I have, for the most part, everything I need. I have food and shelter and love. I have safety and free speech and rights. I have a lot of things I take for granted all the time that many, many other countries lack (paved roads, cable, non-violent elections, mini-skirts, running water, vaccines, a safe place to sleep, and the list goes on and on...). I have all of the things I should and could need to have a happy, free life. So why, for the majority of my life, has happiness been so hard to come by? Because happiness is not something I should have been pursuing. Happiness is something I should have been -- and finally am - cultivating within myself. There are people from other countries, countries where poverty is running rampant and where basic necessities are scarce, that have lived happier lives that I have. Happiness is a state of mind. It is not a flirty butterfly to be chased.

Having given a lot of thought to happiness lately -- and in honor of the birth of my great country, America -- I'd like to spend some time today thinking about the pursuit of happiness and how it relates to life and liberty (two things I'm blessed with but take for granted all the time). What could be a better way to celebrate the 4th of July than to think about what happiness, life, and liberty me for me, an American girl? Let's dive in, shall we?

Life & Happiness

I think that life and happiness should go hand-in-hand. I believe that everyone -- regardless of who or where or when they are -- has a right to be happy. While we're guaranteed life (at least from the point we're born until the point we die), we are not necessarily guaranteed happiness. In fact, it is so not a guarantee that America's Declaration of Independence doesn't state that happiness is a right. What is a right is the pursuit of happiness. The Declaration of Independence states: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." What if instead it read simply "Life, Liberty, and Happiness"? Would that be different, if happiness, rather than the pursuit of it, were a right? I think it would.

I think that happiness is something that, while it's mentioned in the Declaration of Independence, isn't really made a focus in the country, at least not in the right way. Happiness is sold here, for sure, but it's not taught. And, believe me, it needs to be. Some people -- like myself -- aren't born thinking everything is oh-so-sunny and wonderful. It's taken a lot of hard work to realize that I can be happy, that happiness is a choice I have to make every day. I think about what my life up until this point would have been like had I known that. I wonder what I would have experienced had I known that I could truly make the choice to be happy -- and that no thing, person, or situation was ever going to make that choice for me...Sometimes it makes me sad to think of the time I've wasted being gloomy and miserable, but then I realize that I'm lucky to have found the happiness in my own life. I'm lucky to have discovered, before it is much, much too late, that happiness is a part of my life that I can control.

When it comes to life and happiness it's easy to think we know what a "happy" life is. But do we? I think of all of the very, very wealthy people in America and I wonder how happy they are. Is the most famous, successful, beautiful, wealthy person in America happier than the poorest, dirtiest, sickest citizen of a war-torn, impoverished country? If I had to guess, I'd say that this is something we can't know for sure. Happiness, if you didn't hear this from me already, comes from within. I've said it countless times but I cannot say it enough. Every second of our lives we have a choice: to be happy or to be unhappy. I'll admit that it's not always easy. There are some god-awful days when it doesn't seem like happiness is a choice, but, really, it is. Life, if you want it to be, can be all about happiness. And I'm not just talking about the pursuit of it either. I'm talking about real, lasting, actual happiness. If you have a choice, would you rather be the butterfly of happiness or would you rather be the one waiting for that happiness to find you? Personally, I'm going to be the butterfly. I'm going to be the happiness in my life.

Liberty & Happiness

Is happiness free? Considering that it comes from inside of us, it better be free. We can't very well pay ourselves to be happy now can we? I believe that happiness is free. It's not something you can buy. It's not something you can get from someone else (though happy acts and words can be contagious). It's something that's within you. And that means it's free. You can have happiness any time you want. You don't need money. You don't need approval. You can have it anytime, anywhere, and in any form. That's the amazing thing about it! (At same time, be aware that this works for unhappiness as well...a fact I know all too well from all of the wonderful, perfect days I spent being unhappy when I had not logical reason to be in a state of misery.) The most beautiful thing about happiness and the fact that it's free is that you don't necessarily need to live in a place of freedom to have it. Happiness can be your freedom.

Of course, you're thinking, that's easy for a girl who has lived a free country for her entire life to say! And you're right to think that. You're right to think that because I've lived a very privileged life in a very privileged country that it's easy for me to think that happiness is a freedom that is possible without actual tangible freedom. I like to think that if I were imprisoned in a country void of personal liberties that I would still have the choice to be happy. Would I actually be happy? I don't know. Probably not. But I would like to think that I could be. Take, for example, Anne Frank. The other day, on her site The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin posted this quote from Anne Frank: The Diary of a Yong Girl:

 

"On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune.
If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance.
A person's who's happy will make others happy;
a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery!"

Anne Frank
March 16, 1944

 

Is that not inspiring? If you look for happiness you find more and more of it an regain your balance, Anne says. I don't think words could be more true. I have spend years being unhappy (and for no good reason, having never experienced some of the terrifying experiences that little Anne was faced with!), and I have chosen to make the most of life. I have freely chosen to look for happiness. No one told me to do this (okay, maybe people did tell me to be happy but I never really listened to their words because I was too content thinking of myself as a tortured, miserable, creative type). No one forced me to read books on happiness or start a blog focusing on the positive. I made the choice to do this. I chose to look for happiness and -- lucky me! -- I found it. It seems to me that Anne -- even in the difficult situation she was in -- did the same. She didn't have The Geography of Bliss or The How of Happiness. She didn't have Eckhart Tolle or Deepak Chopra. All she had was herself, and though her freedoms were limited in so many ways, she chose happiness.

Freedom is a gift. Like many gifts I've received, it's something that I love but also take for granted. I don't have any concept of what it was like to be Anne Frank. I don't have any idea what it feels like to be living in a country, as some are right now, where freedom is only a figment of one's imagination. What I do have is the notion that I can be grateful, right now, for life, liberty, and happiness I have right now. What I can do is be grateful that I've finally discovered that happiness is free, happiness is living, and happiness is something I can have right this moment. I don't have to chase the butterfly. I don't have to wait for the butterfly. I am the butterfly -- living, free, and happy.

 

What does "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" mean to you?
What do you think about Hawthorne's quote? Are you chasing a butterfly?

Comments

[Abbey]

I love this blog (as I love all the others) and it's so fitting for the upcoming holiday. So proud of you, Dani.

[Vi]

A nice topic for the upcoming 4th of July. I hold "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" dear to my heart as they are among my most cherished American values. And yes, they are distinctly American, especially the pursuit of happiness part. In one of the original formulations, there was "life, health, liberty, and possessions". In France, they have "liberty, equality, and fraternity." In Canada, they have "peace, order, and good government."

[Betsy Wuebker]

This was lovely: "I don't have to wait for the butterfly. I am the butterfly -- living, free, and happy." The freedom to pursue our own definition of happiness is the ultimate.

[Ia]

I'm so glad to read this today! It's such an excellent point - something I didn't quite think about. For my whole life, I said simply 'I want to be happy' but I didn't think about how to be happy, just that I wanted it, as if it were some sort of posession I could own and not something inately apart of myself. In Jr High, a councelor told me that I had the choice to be happy, but at the time I didn't think anything of it - except that she was too lazy to actually be of help. Now, I realise what she meant, and though I struggle from time to time, I know I'm getting better at being the butterfly.

[Srinivas Rao]

Great post Dani. Having spent 6 mos living in another country as an adult(Brazil), I got to see first hand how people who have absolutely nothing seemed to be filled with joy and laughter. The guy selling drinks on the beach with his wife always had the biggest smile, and yet I know there's no way they had that much money.

[positively present]

Abbey - Thank you so much for your comment! It means so much to me to hear that you're proud of me. :) I truly appreciate all of your support and encouragement. Thank you!!!

Vi - Thanks for sharing what other countries use as mottos. I had no idea that they had such similar, yet different, ideas. Happiness seems to be very American, yet it's not something we teach about it schools (which we should!).

Betsy - I agree that being free to pursue our own happiness is the best thing in the world, and we all have the ability to choose to be happy right now.

Ia - I was in the same boat as you. I knew I wanted to be happy but I didn't quite realize that it was a choice that I could make. Now that I realize it, I'm a LOT happier, though I still have a long way to go in terms of my personal development.

Srinivas - Great comment! It's so true. Happiness isn't about money or where you are (though freedom IS pretty great). Happiness comes from within and you can have it whether you're selling drinks on the beach or living in a mansion in Beverly Hills.

[Sara]

Dani -- Is that a picture of you in a butterfly suit?

This was an interesting post, very appropriate for the upcoming celebration in the States. I, too, have struggled in my pursuit of happiness until I also realized it's something that I can choose...which leads me to my favorite line of your post:

"Happiness is something I should have been -- and finally am - cultivating within myself."

Bravo Dani...may your happiness continually grow:~)

[positively present]

Sara - Haha, no, that's not me. I'm so glad that you liked the post and that my words resonated with you. It's taken me a long, long time to realize that happiness is a choice, but now that I know my world is a MUCH better place.

[therapydoc]

Great stuff here, thanks!

[Hilary]

Hi Dani .. seems like you've worked it out - being the butterfly .. living a really pretty scented life .. amongst the flowers and plants of the land.

Wonderful writings and links - thank you
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters

[Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings]

PP, I couldn't agree more with your comment that happiness is within us. In my travels I've come across people in some seriously poor countries and who have very little in the way of material possessions. They are truly some of the happiest people I've come across. It always makes me wonder where we, in the western world, went so wrong.

[Akshay Kapur]

All it takes is you. I love how you extrapolate off of Anne Frank's example, point out all the things we have going for us, all the happiness talk and gurus and say that even without any of it, we'd be fine. We just have to look for it.

I have issues with the life, liberty, pursuit of happiness quote. First of all, I view the three as completely interconnected and to separate them out seems strange. Secondly, the word "pursuit" always bothers me because happiness, when pursued, is rarely found. It just happens and you don't recognize it in the moment, only later through reflection. Plus, it's the activities that we do, the conversations that we have that create happiness, not simply the pursuit of it itself.

[positively present]

Therapydoc - You're welcome! Glad you liked it!

Hilary - I might have it worked out in writing but I still have work to do in real life. I'm working on it though! :)

Sami - It's such an interesting thing, happiness. We think of happy lives as those that are comfortable, healthy, and safe but there are so many people who live impoverished, unhealthy, and scary circumstances who are so happy, which really does make me realize how much happiness is a choice.

Akshay - Happiness definitely is something that we can possess, not something we have to chase which is why I have such a hard time with the pursuit of happiness concept. If we spend time pursuing happiness we will, as the quote above suggests, find that happiness is out of our reach. It's out of our reach because we're looking in the wrong place -- outside of ourselves -- instead of within.

[Alice Parker]

I don't know whether you'll be able to answer to this but I'm having a little problem at the moment..

I'm trying to deal with my jealousy of my sister.
She's favoured by my parents, everyone who meets her loves her, her boyfriend spoils her like crazy, and the boy I've loved for 3 years ignores me and wants her. She has some sort of pull on everyone, that I just don't have. It's really starting to get to me. Why her and not me?
Out of everything she has, the fact that the boy I'm crazy about wants her, makes me feel so insignificant. I feel invisible whenever she's around.
Do you have any advice for me to overcome my jealousy?

Thanks so much for your words of advice. Great inspiration

Alice

[Karen Chaffee]

Dani, what brilliant insight this presents. I have for some time now kept a "Gratitude Journal." In the face of the worst things that can happen, even death of a loved one, if I search with an honest heart, I have yet to find a day that did not contain a blessing...or many. Even those bleakest of days! I say, that is something about which to be happy :)

Karen

[swapna]

Very true Dani. Happiness is there in us, all we have to do is realize it and wear it daily. i used to sulk and used to 'act' unhappy often ....then after a while on reflection i would find it so silly. Slowly am learning to be happy myself....being the beautiful butterfly myself..Thanks a tonne for this post.

Your blog is one stop where i re-affirm myself about being +ve all the time.

Happy July 4th To all out there.

[Shannanigans]

I don't pursue happiness, it pursues me! It is when I get puppy kisses, or witness a rainbow over Lake Superior, or watch an awesome movie, or snuggle in my bed during a thunder storm. I don't seek these things out but they are happy surprises that show up in my life without being called. There are times where I do things to make myself happy, but more often than not, happiness finds me. And that's how it should be. Happy America Day from a Canadian chick :)

[Kaushik]

Great stuff, Dani. Yes, happiness already is, when we can be still and notice it, we see it's always been there, it cannot be chased and and it isn't elusive at all. This is probably the biggest realization of our adult lives, and the good news is that more and more people are realizing this, and at a younger age!

[positively present]

Alice - I'm not an expert on the subject and I would certainly suggest seeing a professional therapist (I have been able to overcome SO much by seeing mine), but I have had some experiences with jealousy (who hasn't?) and the best advice I can offer you is to stop comparing. Don't look at what your sister has/does/says. Look at your own life and focus on the things you love to do. Spend time being with people who love and encourage and support your goals. You don't have to be like your sister to be happy, and, keep in mind, that just because she looks like she has it all doesn't mean that she's happy either. You might want to check out two of my posts -- "love your sibling, love yourself" and "the grass is always greener...or is it?" -- but keep in mind that I'm not expert. I'm just little Dani, telling it like I see it! Best of luck to you, Alice. I know this can be a difficult situation but try to focus on you and what you love about yourself!

[positively present]

Karen - A gratitude journal is a GREAT idea and I've been meaning to start one. I have what I call a "happy list" which is a journal where I write down all of the things that make me happy (one of those things being comments like this one!) and it's sort of the same thing. No matter what is wrong, there is SOMETHING to be happy about it, even if it's the tiniest thing.

Swapna - So glad to hear that you stop by the blog and that it offers you something reaffirming about life. :) That makes me happy! Like you, I used to sulk and act unhappy. It was part of who I was -- the gloomy, sassy little girl -- but that was a choice I was making and it was the wrong one. Now that I'm choosing happiness I am a lot better off!

Shannanigans - Your comment put a big smile on my face because there is nothing happier than puppies and rainbows. I might sound like thirteen year old girl, but I can't get enough of those two things! I love how you wrote that happiness pursues you! That's a totally different spin on it and ties in with Karen's comment about how we can find happiness everywhere, in everything, if we take the time to be grateful.

Kaushik - Sadly, I don't think it's a realization that every adult has and I wish it were. It's taken me twenty-five years to get to this point of realizing that happiness comes from within and I can definitely point out a few older individuals who have yet to realize this. I wish this were something that were taught in schools so that we'd realize at a younger age that happiness is something we can have at any time!

[John Traveler]

Great post, I agree it's quite fitting leading into the 4th. In my opinion it means that we can and will do what we feel like without any pressure of guiding us into doing something we don't want to.

[Angie]

very fitting for the 4th! Yes, happiness is within! Our impulse is to try and 'find' it ... but really we create it (or it is already there inside us) I agree I love where I live, I feel grateful for it every day so I am careful not to take anything for granted. Wonderful post!

[positively present]

John - You've made a great point summing it up in your comment. Glad you liked the post. Thanks for commenting!

Angie - Thank you! I'm glad that you agree with the idea that happiness comes from within and that it's something that we can experience (and be grateful for!) every day.

[J.D. Meier]

I'm not sure yet which is the better skill to have -- feeling good or happiness, but I do like that both are skills as opposed to lucking into them. I used to luck into them, which works great when things are going well, but the real key is knowing how to drive your own happiness and feeling good, especially when things ruffle your feathers or the tides are against you.

[BunnygotBlog]

This a wonderful article of inspiration at this time.
You did a great job.

[I TAKE OFF THE MASK]

Life, liberty and happiness. What more can a person ever ask for? :-) America really understood what all men seek. First, to be given the chance to live, then to be given the chance to be free in order to pursue whatever path we choose. It is up to us now to choose the path of happiness!

[positively present]

J.D. - Great point. It's easy to believe it happiness and feeling good when things are going your way but it's quite another thing to realize that you have the ability to drive your own happiness!

Bunny - Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

I TAKE OFF THE MASK - So true! We need to live and to be free and then it's up to us to choose to live in happiness.

[Davina]

Hi Dani. "How can you pursue what you already possess?" What a great statement. Reminds me of a dog chasing its tail :-) Is that what we resemble when we're chasing happiness? I agree, there are days when we don't feel like we have the choice to be happy, but we always have a choice. The real happiness is unconditional; independent of the circumstances. And a sprinkle of happiness on those darker days might be all we need to shed some light on everything.

[positively present]

Davina - So glad you liked that question. I love the image you put to it of a dog chasing its tail. So appropriate! You're completely right on about how it's not always easy to choose happiness, but it IS an option. It's important that we remember that when we're feeling down!