As you may or may not know, I used to be a pretty negative person. I spent a lot of time being sad or angry or lonely. I just kept living how I was living because I thought that was what I was expected to do, until I realized -- almost out of the blue -- that I could choose to be happy. I had the ability to make happiness happen in my life. I had my dial set on unhappy and it took me a long, long time to realize that I didn't have to listen to the preset station. I could just reach over, spin the dial, and change the station. And here I am now, tuning into happiness and realizing that I don't have to live in a preset state. This hasn't always been the easiest thing to do. It's tempting to stick with the stations we know -- static and all -- but I'm learning that a little change (or a lot of change!) can be a pretty good thing. Tuning into happiness is one of the best things you can do for yourself (and for the world around you).
Over the past few months, I've been focusing on happiness -- not on how to find it, but on how to create it. Yes, YOU can create your own happiness. What's the #1 ingredient for happiness? YOU! You have the power to be happy (or not) and you have the power to pick your preset stations in life, or, better yet, not to have any preset stations. The other night I was watching Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle and my ears perked up when I heard this exchange:
Harold: Listen to the presets.
Kumar: Your whole life is preset. Try something new.
This brief conversation between the two stars (one who is uptight and organized, the other who's a bit of a hot mess) of this film got me thinking: What are my preset buttons? What am I doing in my life that's on auto-pilot? It made me think, also, about what my preset buttons used to be. For example, today it's really cloudy and gloomy and I have tons of work-related stuff that I just don't want to do. I'm also a bit stressed about my upcoming trip (yes, I'm stressed about a vacation, haha). The old me would default to a grumpy, stressed-out persona. It's tempting today to fall back on that preset (and, I'll admit, I did it a bit this morning with my mom -- sorry mom!) but I'm working to keep an upbeat, positive attitude despite the work load, stress levels, and shitty weather. I'm working on finding a new station -- one that allows me to be happy in spite of all the annoying things I'm dealing with right now. And you know what? It's not as hard as I would have thought to turn that frown upside down and look for the good in life. After all, there are a lot of good things to focus on.
What's one of the good things I'm focusing on right now? The fact that I just discovered that August is Happiness Happens Month! According to the Secret Society of Happy People, August is the month to recognize and express happiness and stop raining on other people's parades. How awesome is that? As I found out on the website for the Secret Society of Happy People, "In 1999 the Society declared August 8th as Admit You're Happy Day (now Happiness Happens Day). Thanks to the response of not-so-secretly-happy people from around the world, the celebration was expanded to include the month of August in 2000."
Considering that August is one of my favorite months, I was quite excited to learn about Happiness Happens Month. It sounds like this is the perfect month to tune into your happiness. But how? I've put together a list of Happiness Happens Month ideas. Some are from The Secret Society of Happy People's website, which you can check out here and some are my own brilliant ideas, many of which I've discovered only recently as I've been on my exploration for how I can find happiness within myself. Make this a happy month by...
- Hosting a Happiness Happens celebration (or, if you're me, a Happy Birthday celebration!)
- Making use of happy resources like Happier.com or The Happiness Project Toolbox
- Celebrating happy memories by creating a happy memory book for you or someone you love
- Leading a Happiness Happens activity at work (see the site for details)
- Taking the Happy Challenge (this is great!)
- Remembering all of the day's happy moments when you get in bed at night
- Creating a happy list (I have over 500 things on mine!)
- Tweeting, blogging, etc. about Happiness Happens Month
- Sharing happy stories that you hear in the news with others
- Playing the Happy Nicknames Game with friends or coworkers
- Having a Happiness Happens art show where you create happy art
- Finding the silver lining in every difficult situation you encounter
- Dropping nice notes around (you can download 'em FREE at Operation NICE)
- Joining a Happiness Project group in your area
- Reading positive or happy books (for ideas, click here)
- Downloading the Live Happy iPhone app or Gratitude Stream
Of course these are only a few of the many, many possibilities for celebrating Happiness Happens Month. After reading those, I bet you've come up with some ideas of your own. And after reading this post, I bet you're thinking about the preset stations in your life. If you're suck on something negative, change the channel. When you encounter negativity in your life, think about Kumar's comment. Are you stuck on your preset response? Is that a positive response? If so, that's great and keep it up! If not, remind yourself that it's Happiness Happens Month and YOU have to make the happiness happen.
Are you living your life by preset stations? Are you tuned into happiness?
How are you going to make happiness happen for you this month?
This is great...thanks for expressing your happiness...and chatting online about!!!
Posted by: Pamela Gail Johnson | August 07, 2009 at 12:29 AM
Interestingly, you reminded me that I found happiness through an indirect path. Aside from adopting a mindset, I decided to focus on effectiveness. The idea of focusing on effectiveness somehow created a match for my talents, as well as finding the lesson in any situation, really changed my game. It's as if my happiness flows from being effective.
As much as I like periodic bliss and Hallmark moments, there's something fulfilling about sharpening my skills to make the most of any situation. It's happiness as a byproduct of effectiveness, by design.
Posted by: J.D. Meier | August 07, 2009 at 03:29 AM
Dani,
I love this post! And I do because I have something I'm working on for this month that is taking me way outside of my comfort zone, but it's going to be so awesome and filled with happiness! This is all part of a bigger project to bring more laughter into the world. More coming as the details all get worked out - and I'll post about it coming up soon. While I tend to think I'm a generally pretty happy person, this thing coming up is definitely changing the channel for me - and it has me completely energized by what can be!
Love your list! And now I'm thinking...maybe I should create my own happiness list...
Posted by: Lance | August 07, 2009 at 06:29 AM
Lovely post! I love the ideas you listed, thanks for sharing.
Posted by: GG | August 07, 2009 at 06:54 AM
Pamela - You're welcome! Thank you for sharing more information about Happiness Happens with me. :) I'm so glad I was able to spread the word on Positively Present.
J.D. - That's so interesting to hear about how you came across happiness. It sounds roundabout, but it makes perfect sense. The more you focus on being effective, the more you're focusing on your strengths. The more you're focused on your strengths, the more you're gaining confidence and feeling good about yourself and ultimately becoming happier. I think the kind of happiness you've found -- the kind you work on -- is much more important (and REAL!) than any kind of Hallmark happiness.
Lance - Thank you! :) That's so great that you're working on something awesome and happy. Bringing more laughter into the world sounds great. I love to laugh and I can't wait to hear more about your project! You should definitely create your own happiness list. Or, maybe, if you're into to idea of funny things, a funny list, or a funny book (with all of your favorite funny quotes/comics/etc.).
GG - Thank you! :) I'm so glad you liked the ideas and I hope you have a very happy month of August!
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 08:18 AM
For me, happiness always has been and will continue be a simple choice. I 'choose' my attitude for the moment, for the day. And I do my very best to always to choose to be happy.
I of course have my weak moments... but happiness always prevails in the end.
Posted by: Sean Dent | August 07, 2009 at 09:51 AM
Nice post Dani. As an Indian person, Harold and Kumar is one of my favorite movies because it broke the mold and stereotypes of as uptight studious geeks. Although, the guy is still going to med school, which is one stereotype we'll never shed :). But I like the analogy you used here. We spend so much time in preset mode that until we become concious of it, we live our lives on autopilot.
Posted by: Srinivas Rao | August 07, 2009 at 11:07 AM
I was wondering why I had such good feelings for this month! Happiness Month! In the past I haven't been much of a fan of August due to the heat, but since I changed my attitude, switched my preset mode to the happy station, the heat doesn't bother me nearly so much. :)Thank you for sharing this, Dani!
Posted by: Ia | August 07, 2009 at 12:01 PM
Good post! You are right -- so many people are set on a negative auto-pilot. They don't realize they can change the station, or they don't know how to do it. Cheers to you for having such a positive, inspirational blog. Keep up the good work! Take care, A.
Posted by: Anita | August 07, 2009 at 12:06 PM
You know you're in a certain mindset when a movie about two potheads on a quest for burgers is inspirational.
At least I know I'm not the only weird one.
Posted by: Nicole | August 07, 2009 at 01:00 PM
Sean - Happiness is most definitely a choice, but I don't think everyone realizes this. I'm so glad that you do! :) We all have weak moments but we have to remind ourselves that we can choose to be happy.
Srinivas - Thank you! :) Harold and Kumar is awesome (I still haven't seen the second one yet though!) but you're right about that doctor stereotype. Of course, he doesn't really want to be a doctor though -- his dad wants him to be one. I'm learning more and more not to live my life on autopilot and to question what's happening inside my head. A few simple questions can go a long way!
Ia - Yes, that must be it! Happiness Happens Month is here! :) That's great that you're not letting the hot weather bother you as much. I love the heat but I HATE the winter so we'll see how well I do with my happy attitude in, say, January. ;)
Anita - Thanks so much for your comment! It's taken me a long time to realize that it's up to me to change my attitude and I'm so glad I'm realizing it now and that I have an avenue through which I can share my experiences with others.
Nicole - Hahaha. Good point. I suppose that does say something about me... And you know what I think it says? (1) Yes, I'm a bit of a weirdo, and (2) I'm looking for inspiration and happiness everywhere which is something I NEVER thought would be me. Thanks for reminding me of how much I've changed!
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 01:52 PM
Dani, this is such a powerful analogy! For sure, if we are tuning in to a particular radio station, there's no way we're going to be able to hear the messages from the other stations. This is a wonderful post; thanks for sharing us your amazing writings. I continue to be blown away by each article you write.
Posted by: Celes | The Personal Excellence Blog | August 07, 2009 at 02:17 PM
What a fantastic and positive post! I don't think I would have ever picked that up from the movie. It's great that you were able to find such a great line in the movie and have it inspire such a great post.
Those are such great ideas to remember to be happy and celebrate happiness! Thanks for reminding us to remember we have so many reasons to be happy and thankful!
Posted by: Caity | August 07, 2009 at 02:23 PM
Celes - Thanks so much for the compliment! I love to write more than almost anything so when I read that someone is blown away by my writing it is the most amazing thing for me. I agree that while it's not the most unique analogy it's very fitting here, and especially for me. I spent so long stuck on the same sad station and it's amazing how much as changed for me since I learned I could switch the dial!
Caity - Thank you! :) I don't know how I picked up that random line, but I remember thinking, "Wow, that makes a lot of sense! So many of us live our lives on presets!" I'm glad I can spread at least a little bit of happiness through my experiences via the blog. It makes me happy to know I'm reminding others about happiness!
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 02:32 PM
Great post Dani! I never heard of Happiness Happens Month before, and I think it's such a fabulous idea! Thanks for the pointer - off to check it out : )
Posted by: Hilda | August 07, 2009 at 02:46 PM
Such a lovely happy post. Its something i truly needed to read. I think sometimes we get so caught up in life that we forget to remember to make ourselves happy. Thanks for the wake up call. I love the suggestions.
Stumbled!
Posted by: Zeenat {Positive Provocations} | August 07, 2009 at 02:51 PM
Hilda - I'd never heard of it either until just the other day and I was so excited to find out about it! :)
Zeenat - Thanks so much for the Stumble! :) I'm so glad that this post spoke to you and helped to remind you of happiness today. That's just what it's here for and I'm happy to know that I'm bringing awareness about happiness to great readers like you.
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 03:22 PM
thanks for the links. will use them soon. :)
-meream
Posted by: All Women Stalker | August 07, 2009 at 03:31 PM
If you're interested in a new approach to boost your happiness based on the latest positive psychology research, check out our iPhone app: Live Happy (there’s also a Free Trial version); it's based on the work of Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of "The How of Happiness" and provides a unique method to create a personalized program to increase your happiness.
You can also learn more about the iPhone app on our Facebook page.
Posted by: David | August 07, 2009 at 03:33 PM
Doing something new bring upon a whole different perspective on life.
Having fun in the present moment, expecting the best and putting forth the effort always pays off.
Great post.
Posted by: jonathanfigaro | August 07, 2009 at 03:56 PM
Happy happiness month PP & happy birthday too! You know, you really have a gift for finding insights and wisdom in every day things/experiences/moments around you and then putting it into words.
Love that list and especially love the happy challenge of writing down one thing a day that makes you happy. And the "nice" notes from Operation NICE are sooooo awesome! Thanks PP.
Posted by: Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings | August 07, 2009 at 04:57 PM
I can appreciate what you are saying about 'presets.' I distinctly remember a time where I identified strongly with my preset bitchy mode. Now...oh I don't know, I feel like all the presets have been erased and I'm starting over!
Posted by: Michelle @ Find Your Balance | August 07, 2009 at 05:44 PM
Hi Dani .. you're always so creative with your ideas when you actually do the post - it's brilliant. I had presets - but they irritate the hell out of me .. so they got changed ..fortunately I don't think I've been a preset person .. I like to make my own mind up and get on with things - I'm lucky I guess.
I've learnt to look at the positive side of life and offer positivity to others .. it seems to work ..
Keep happy - a birthday and a holiday all in one month .. fantastic news .. so many new opportunities and ideas coming up ..
have a good weekend .. Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
Posted by: Hilary | August 07, 2009 at 06:15 PM
YAY!!! Tomorrow is "Admit You're Happy Day" -- and I will not miss it for the world.
You know about Katie West,the Levity Project blogger, right? She is wonderful!!
This post especially.... where folks got together in a park for 15 minutes just to LAUGH.
http://lifelaughterlevity.com/2009/07/26/15-minutes-july152009/
Posted by: Jannie Funster | August 07, 2009 at 06:20 PM
Meream - You're welcome! :) I hope you have a very happy August!
David - Oh, if only I had an iPhone, I would already have that app. Every time I see an add for that app, I want to buy an iPhone. :)
Jonathan - Those are great ideas! I love the idea of doing something new in particular. That's a great way to encourage yourself to be present and to celebrate the diversity of life!
Sami - Thank you! :) Thanks for the compliments. I love looking at the world and trying to see inspiration in everything. It really helps me to stay positive in the present! Operation NICE IS awesome, isn't it? The notes are the best!
Michelle - That's great that you're getting rid of those presets in your life. I also had a pretty serious bitchy preset and I'm really trying to stay away from that one these days!
Hilary - Thank you! I really enjoy sharing my ideas and I'm so glad to hear when they're well-received. Avoiding presets, going with the flow, and trying to have a positive attitude are three great things to do to make the most of life. So great that you're doing them. Yes, August will be a good month! :)
Jannie - Pretty exciting, huh?! I'm happy for Happiness Happens Month! I actually just found out about Katie West's site today, oddly enough. This post really relates to her site, I suppose. I'm going to have to spend some time reading her posts. Thanks for sharing the link here!
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 07:27 PM
Hey Dani,
Good post. Like you, I used to be unhappy--full of anxiety, depression, negativity...to find that happiness is so easy and right here, right now inside of us...well it was a bit of a tumble.
Happy Happiness day!
k
Posted by: Kaushik | beyond-karma.com | August 07, 2009 at 07:48 PM
Kaushik - Thank you! Yes, it's quite an interesting experience to learn that we have the choice to be happy. I used to think it was just something that wasn't me, but now that I know that I can change the dial and choose happiness, life is a lot different -- and better -- for me! :)
Posted by: Positively Present | August 07, 2009 at 08:23 PM
Dani! I love your metaphor about the radio dial! Happiness Happens Day is August 8th? I guess so, my daughter was born on that day 24 year ago :-) I was married in August 29 years ago. Wonderful! :-)
Posted by: Stephen Mills | August 08, 2009 at 08:22 AM
Stephen - Thank you! Happiness Happens Month is August but it started as Admit You're Happy Day on August 8th. That's awesome that your daughter was born that day! I'm an August b-day too and she's nearly my age! :)
Posted by: Positively Present | August 08, 2009 at 05:09 PM
Hi Dani! Great post and I loved the links to other resources. Somewhat like a 'happiness classroom.' Always wonderful to hear your thoughts (and I love the image).
Have a great weekend!
Posted by: Laura at The Journal of Cultural Conversation | August 08, 2009 at 08:49 PM
What a happy post! (smile) The Secret Society of Happy People's web site made me even happier than I normally am. Fantastic! Thanks for writing this post and pointing out such great resources!
Posted by: Megan Bord | August 09, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Laura - Thank you! I'm so glad you liked the post and the links. I'm sure you'll enjoy them when you check them out. :)
Megan - Isn't that a great website? I was excited when I found out about it the other day -- and about Happiness Happens Month! I hope you enjoy the resources.
Posted by: Positively Present | August 09, 2009 at 08:14 PM