slippery slopes are not reserved for negativity

 

Nobody trips over mountains.
It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.
Pass all the pebbles in your path,
and you will find that you have climbed a mountain.

Unknown

The other day when I saw that quote (courtesy of Real Simple) in my in-box, my heart filled with hope. Lately I've been stumbling. A lot. I've been encountering a fair share of pebbles lately. Not so many mountains...just small, stumble-causing pebbles. But, as I'm sure you know, all of those little slip-ups and trip-ups can add up, making you feel like maybe everything is wrong, maybe things just aren't going the way they're supposed to. And then I read that quote. After reading that, I realized that all of the little things -- all of the mess-ups and mistakes and confusions -- were just minor setbacks to be overcome. All of the little things might add up, but they're adding up to making me stronger, to making me smarter, to making me better. The same day I received that quote in my in-box, my horoscope in The Washington Post read:

Slippery slopes are not reserved for negativity.
Positive momentum can also happen
in a manner that feels much like barely controlled falling.
One kind move begins an avalanche.

Reading this, I took it as a sign. (Yes, I'm one of those people who thinks that things like a made up horoscope in a newspaper can be a sign.) All of this talk of pebbles and mountains and slopes and avalanches had to mean something. I realized when I read the horoscope that I had to start focusing again on the positive things. Even when negative things happen, there are still so many good things going on all around me. For a moment, I was feeling like there was a slippery slope of negativity happening in my life. I felt as though things were building up (in a negative way) and that soon I'd be sliding back to the sad person I used to be. But then I remembered the one crucial element about life that I hope to never, ever forget: It's all up to me.

The way I look at things, the way I feel about a situation, the information and lessons I take away from times of pain -- all of those things are up to me to control and decide upon. No one else can tell me what to think or feel or do. I have to make those decisions for myself. I have to choose to be happy, to look for the good in life. I have to see all of those pebbles in my path, to see the potential for negative slippery slopes and I have to challenge those things because if I want I can have exactly what was mentioned in my horoscope: positive momentum.

We all have the choice to focus on whatever we want to focus on in life. Do you want to slide down the path of negativity or do you want to roll down the road of positivity? Same hill you'll be going down, but you'll be seeing it a different way. You'll be looking at the good. You'll be building positive momentum, something I really need to work on right now. So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to think of all of the ways I can build positive momentum in my life and then I'm going to do those things. If you're feeling like the slippery slope you're on is negative, take a look at what I have here and see if you can incorporate some positive momentum into your life...

How To Build Positive Momentum in Your Life

• Surround yourself with positive people. This is key. If you want to build up positive momentum in your life, you can't have tons of negativity around you. Sometimes it's unavoidable (say, at work or at an event you have to attend) but, for the most part, you can control the people and situations in your life. Pick positive ones because you and I both know there's really no point in having negative people in your life. (Likewise, think about whether or not you are a positive or negative influence on the lives around you!)
  
  
• Perform kind acts (and not randomly!). As Gretchen Rubin talks about on The Happiness Project, our acts of kindness shouldn't be random. We shouldn't do them every once and awhile. No, we should do them all the time. We should dole out kindness like it's free-flowing and easy to obtain (which it is!). While I can be kind at times, I don't think I'm as kind as I could be so I'm really, really going to work on this one.
  
  
• Do the things you do best...a lot. As you know, one of my favorite things in the world to do is write and for a long time I was only doing it occasionally and I was only doing it in a journal that I never, EVER let anyone else read. Now that I'm writing all the time -- and sharing it with people like you -- I feel the positive momentum in my life building. I feel good about myself and, to be honest, the more I write the better I get at it. Think about what you love to do and do it as often as you can.
  
  
• Focus on positive things around you. I know I stress this point a lot, but it's so, so important. We have to look for the good in life because, quite frankly, whatever you look for is what you will see. That whole "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" thing is so true and it applies to life too. If you think you life is beautiful, it is beautiful. So look around you... what do you see? Do you see greatness and beauty and awesomeness? I bet it's there, all around you, if you just look. Open your eyes to the positive things in your life. They are there.
  
  
• Be grateful every day for everything. While driving home the other day I was feeling down. Really down. And then I realized a few things...It was a beautiful day, nearly a long weekend, driving home in a great car to a great apartment with my adorable dog on my lap. I was young and healthy and, most importantly, I was alive and lucky enough to be there, in that moment. I realized that asking for more than all of that was just flat out greedy. I was so lucky -- SO lucky -- and I need to keep that feeling of gratitude with me always.

I'm pretty sure these five tips will help me to build positive momentum in my life and I hope they can help you out too if you are like me and are feeling less-than-positive these days. It's not always easy to be positive (which, I guess, is the reason I avoided it for so many years), but when I think about it I realize that there's no reason not to work on building positive momentum in your life. As I know all too well from personal experience, being negative gets you nowhere and even though that negative attitude still tempts me at times, through pebbles in my path, I know that I have the power to build up positive momentum, to increase my emotional strength, so that someday I'll look back and realize that I did, indeed, climb a mountain.

Comments

[Hilary]

Hi Dani .. pebbles are good, they are small and can be worked round or through and the light shines off the water in between and the calm shores are ahead.

You're right - keep positive in times of adversity, or times of great change as you're going through -- and you are stretching yourself -perhaps too much? - it is one step at a time, tick it off and then next - tomorrow will look after itself.

This will be one of Lance's blips in life for you - not serious like some can be - but from all the pebbles you will learn huge lessons to get you to the top of the sand dune to see the landscape and light ahead.

All the very best - look after yourself ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Letters

[Srinivas Rao]

Dani,

Great post. I think that list is a perfect way to maintain positive momentum. I also love using morning power questions and starting off te day with some uplifting music.

[Positively Present]

Hilary - I think you're so right about keeping positive in tough times and taking it one day at a time. As you said, tomorrow will look after itself! And you're also so right about learning lessons from all of the pebbles. Thanks for your great comment!

Srinivas - Thanks! I definitely think the list will help me out when I'm struggling with being positive. Your ideas are great additions to the list too. Power questions + uplifting music = a great way to start the day!

[Peggy (aka Tool Box Girl)]

Hi Dani,

You may want to take a look at my two part essay on Silver Linings at http://serendipitysmiles.com

In the midst of grueling adversity, I not only found positive momentum, but I found so many unexpected silver linings!

Take care and have a fabulous weekend!

xo
Peggy

[Veronica]

It's so true - a slippery slope can lead you to an abundance of positivity as well. The more you practice the steps you listed, the easier it is to fall UP!

I do the same thing when I'm feeling in a funk - try to be thankful for what I do have. And that can be as simple as the shining sun or a bowl of ice cream! :)

Happy LONG weekend!!

Veronica
www.drrussbuss.com

[matt]

Hi Dani - I really enjoyed your post, thanks. I agree that performing kind acts often can be great reinforcement, constantly reminding us how much fun it can be to surprise others with an unexpected kind word or deed. I think The Happiness Project post was also trying to make the point to be sure those deeds were in context (and not just random out-of-the-blue kindness), without which it's often tough for the recipient to appreciate what you were doing. Random stranger guy on the street runs up to you, arms outstretched for a hug? Despite his best intentions uh, maybe not - but in the context of a sign offering free hugs just to brighten your day? Well, maybe still no but you'll at least pass smiling at the offer.

matt
lostinthefeed.com

[Ia]

This is a wonderful post, Dani! I think you'll enjoy this quote and find it ties in pretty well: "The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life and elevating them to an art." - William Morris

[Jan Lundy]

Hi Dani,
What a great post! I do love how you get down to what matters. I agree with Hilary that pebbles are good. They may feel lousy, but they help us be vigilant, to stay alert, and flex our spiritual muscles! That's why I love spiritual practices, like my morning "Be still and know" time. Doing them (it) regularly alerts me to a pebble and how I might like to respond to it. Here's to pebbles--invitations to growth! And blessings to you!

[Positively Present]

Peggy - I'll have to check that out! That's so great that you've gained positive momentum and found silver linings too. Can't wait to check out the post!

Veronica - Love the idea of falling up! :) That's a great way of thinking about it. And it's so important to be grateful no matter what but it definitely helps to be grateful when you're not feeling super positive. Hope you have a great weekend!

Matt - Thanks for the comment! I completely agree with what you wrote about acts of kindness. They're so important but they have to be in context.

Ia - What a great quote! Thank you so much for sharing it here. It's so true.

Jan - Thanks! I agree that pebbles are good; they help us to gain strength and teach us to keep our eyes open for potentially difficult experiences. I love the idea of a "be still and know" time. Great idea!

[All Women Stalker]

It's sad that I don't do much of number 3. I really should be sewing more.

-meream

[Armen Shirvanian]

Hey Dani.

The point "Do the things you do best...a lot." is pretty cool. I like getting reminded of that. A person who is great at making deals with businessmen can do little better than to get into situations where they are doing that often. The opposite would be like a bird trying to walk to locations instead of flying.

Actually, my last article was about momentum too so we are on the same thought wavelength.

[Positively Present]

Meream - Absolutely! You should definitely be doing more of what you love to do. Wanna sew me something?? Hahaha. I'd love to have a seamstress!

Armen - I'm glad you liked that point. I think it's so important to do what you love (unfortunately I think a lot of people have trouble figuring out what that is...). It sounds like we're on the same page. I'll have to check out your site! :)

[Hilda]

Great post Dani! Here was my favourite bit: "it's all up to me." Don't you think it's so empowering to remember that? I've no worries about your slippery slope going the wrong way. You have more than changed your mindset this year, you've transformed it. And while change can be temporary, transformation is permanent. You're now able to catch yourself in the act of feeling negative and consciously choose to turn that around. And because you know you can you will continue to do it. Good for you!

[J.D. Meier]

We're on the same wave length. Yesterday I used slippery slopes in conversation about five times and today my instinct was to write about surrounding yourself with the right people.

[Tess The Bold Life]

I think doing acts of kindness is huge because it will all snowball and come back to melt at your front door! Keep on keepin on Dani!

[Craig]

Those are some great tips, Dani. I'd like to add to your mention of performing kind acts: It's crazy powerful for cementing natural positivity into your awareness. It starts to get addicting too, partly because it feels so good and partly because reactions you get from strangers when you do something genuinely kind for them (without expecting anything back) are absolutely priceless.

Best!
-Craig

[Hayden Tompkins]

Oh, Dani, I'm sorry to hear that you've hit a rough patch. I know it can be pretty frustrating. It also helps to be persistent: persistent in the idea that the situation is just temporary and that you WILL triumph.

{HUG}

[LBJirel]

As always this is very inspirational post. I always enjoy this kind of post. The most interesting thing for me about this post is that even in negative situations or like this, there are still some positive things going around which we have to look for. For this ti is very important to keep our focus on good things around us as you have written. Horoscope is superb!

Those tips to build positive momentum are really helpful. Have a nice day!

[Megan Bord]

I can relate to where you're at, and have been there many times myself. The good news is that the more positive you become, the easier these times are to traverse.
I remember having a bad day a couple years ago, and I decided to start writing a future-based gratitude list. I began writing everything I wanted to be grateful for in my life - like writing down a dream. As I kept going, I felt my energy rise to such a point that when I was done, I felt fantastic! I'd lifted myself out of a funk in about a half-hour, and sent myself soaring again. All by giving thanks. I think that suggestion you made was great!
I loved the quote you used, too. Oh, and you mentioned doing what you love (in this case writing) and how you feel you're getting better at it the more you do it. I second that sentiment! You've always been good (from the first day I came here), but lately it's as if you've been further refining what it means for "Dani" to be a writer, and it's so cool to watch!
Be well!

[Positively Present]

Hilda - I absolutely think it's empowering -- SO empowering! -- to remember that it's all up to me. Sometimes it's hard to keep that in mind, but it's amazing how much control we really have over our own lives. Thank you so much for your comment. You reminded me that I've come a long way and that all of the strength I've built up will help me with any adversity I come across!

J.D. - How funny (and random!) that you used the concept of slippery slopes a lot too. I think it's a really interesting concept and I love the way it was talked about in my horoscope.

Tess - Great point about the acts of kindness! I loved the imagery you used in your comment. Thank you for supporting me and encouraging me to keep going!

Craig - You're so right. It's so important to perform kind acts because it really does increase positivity and awareness. I love how you mentioned the addictiveness of it too. As someone who has an addictive personality, it's always great to think about positive things I can become addicted to! :)

Hayden - Yeah, me too, but I will survive! :) It's definitely frustrating at times but you've made such a great point about being persistent. I think that's one of the greatest things about having the blog. It's a constant reminder for me to be positive and to keep focusing on the present moment. It holds me accountable for my positive attitude!

LB - It's definitely so important to keep focusing on the positive things even when surrounded by negative situations. In the past I never did this and I always just brought myself even further down. Now that I'm working on being positive I find that even difficult situations are SO much easier to handle. Wasn't that horoscope great?! I was so excited when I read it that I immediately cut it out of the paper and pinned it on my bulletin board at work!

Megan - Absolutely! The more I focus on positivity, the easier it is to deal with negative situations. Wow, I love the idea of a future-based gratitude list. Even though I try to keep my mind in the present, this sounds like a great, inspiring idea. Thanks for your comments about the writing, Megan. To read that was awesome and made me so happy! :)

[Ash]

Awesome post, Dani! I think this one is my favorite so far. Those negative moments are only fleeting, thank goodness, due to all your "positively present" hardwork. Isn't it great to know that? Your list is great, too - #1 is so hard with negative family (I am finding) and #3 (like others have previously commented on) is difficult to keep up, as well. Thanks for blogging!

[steve]

thank you for this post. i just found your site, and i'm really glad!

this post reminds me of a point in barbara fredrickson's book Positivity, which i read earlier this year. she describes the "tipping point" for positivity: when you get past a ratio of 3:1 (3 positive experiences, 1 negative), then you start to "flourish" in an "upward spiral." i like this idea, & i've experienced it in many of the happier periods of my life since reading that book.

also, where do you get the photographs you post at the beginning of your entries? they are astounding & beautiful! thank you so much

[John]

Ah... another great reminder to be positive. I tell you, reading this on a Saturday afternoon really makes me hopeful for the future. I can't wait until I reach my goals... in the same way you will reach yours.

Positivity rules - thanks Dani!

[Positively Present]

Ash - Thank you! So glad you liked this one. It was a really great one for me to write because I feel like it shows how, even though I'm going through a tough time, I've taught myself a lot and can still try to look for the positive. #1 and #3 can definitely be tricky, but we can do anything we can put our minds to!

Steve - I'm so glad you found PP too. I'm going to have to check out that book too. I love reading so thank you for the recommendations! The Positivity book sounds like a great one for me and I love the ideas you mentioned from the book. As for the photographs, I look for royalty-free photos online and I have a lot of fun looking for photographs that fit my posts.

John - That's great that this post made you feel hopeful. It does the same for me! Even though I've hit a bit of a rough patch, I know that positive thinking will prevail and that someday (soon I hope!) I'll reach my goals. I know you will too!

[Stephen - Rat Race Trap]

Hello Dani, I really loved that quote. We tend to make mountains out of our pebbles, but if we just step over them one at a time they can't trip us up.

[BunnygotBlog]

Great article Dani,

We all stumble at times we just need to get back up and brush our self off and start all over again.

[Positively Present]

Stephen - Me too! It's a great one, isn't it? It's so true that if we take it one step at a time, over each pebble, we'll have conquered our mountains.

Bunny - Thanks! Yes, we all have our little trip ups, but what matters is that we get back up. So true! I'm getting back up again and moving forward. Or, at least, I'm trying... :)

[Elizabeth]

This is exactly what I needed today. Do what you do well is absolutely fantastic advice. On all my off days I try to write, and not just in my journal, on something that will see the light of day too. Glad I stumbled upon this post :)

[Ricardo Bueno]

I definitely think that surrounding yourself with positive people is the best thing you can do! What is it that they say after all? You are the company you keep (or something like that). I believe in this a lot. I think that there's nothing more damaging than surrounding yourself with negative people.

[lisa]

deep and humble bows of thanks for this post, Dani. i've printed it and now include it in my daily sunrise readings.

[Positively Present]

Elizabeth - I'm so glad this post hit home for you. I definitely think that one of the best ways to create positive momentum in your life is to do what you love to do. No matter what, find time for it because it really does make your life happier!

Ricardo - Absolutely. You're definitely the company you keep so it's important to surround yourself with positive people. Negative people only bring you down!

Lisa - I'm so glad you liked this post! :) It makes me happy to know you've printed it out. Awesome!

[Ian]

Dani, another great post.

I love the slippery slope analogy. When I'm on a real slippery slope (you know, the icy ones!) then I usually feel fear - afraid of losing control (yeah! I mean when am I actually IN control) and afraid of stopping painfully.

So rather than enjoy the ride, build the momentum, I hold back for fear of the end ... which is kind of crazy as that just means stagnation!

[Positively Present]

Ian - Thanks! I loved it too and it really caught my attention when I read it in the paper. I've never felt that slippery slopes could be a GOOD thing. I'm in the same boat as you. Because I like to be in contol (or feel in control), I don't really let go and enjoy the ride. I'm working on this though and I think the idea of building positive momentum will help me out a lot!

[Laura at The Journal of Cultural Conversation]

Dani - wonderful inspiration (as always). I constantly feel like printing out your posts and putting them in a binder so I can reference (ooh, might be an idea!). I also loved today's post - one of my favorite songs. I'm pretty sure we're also on the same music wavelength!

[Lender]

Another way to feel great is to perform random acts of kindness everyday. It could be something as simple as helping an elderly person carry their groceries, but the joy it gives you is truly immeasurable.

[green ink]

This is one of your best, definitely :) After experiencing the high of finishing my half marathon two weeks ago, I've been trying to hold on to it as long as I can, and you've got some great tips for how I can, in all areas of my life...thank you! xx

[Positively Present]

Laura - It makes me so happy to hear that you like the posts so much that you want to print them in put them in a binder! :) I guess I should probably make an eBook of them and then you could get that... The song "Let Go" is a great one. It's so sad but uplifting at the same time.

Lender - Great idea! Performing random acts of kindness everyday is a great way to build positive momentum in your life.

Green Ink - Thank you!! That's awesome that you finished a marathon and I think you can definitely hold on to that positive momentum.

[battery]

Hi friends....
This is truly right way of getting positive momentum.I read the whole post and it seems a great guidance to get the momentum.Pebbles are always occuring in our way.
Anyways good job and thanks for the post.

[Positively Present]

Battery - I'm glad you agree with what I've written here. You're right -- pebbles will always be getting in our way, but we CAN overcome them and move forward to conquer mountains!