(♥)
"A good boss makes others realize
they have more ability than they think they have
so that they can consistently do better work
than they thought they could."
Charles Erwin Wilson
Happy Boss's Day! Okay, I know this is probably a ridiculous made-up, Hallmark holiday, but I think it's an important one. Why? Because I think it's important to celebrate those who might not get all of the credit they deserve. I'm sure some of you have terrible bosses, bosses you'd rather not celebrate, but I'm one of the lucky few to have a really great boss. So, even though he won't be reading this today, I'm going to spend a little time talking about how lucky I am to have him as a boss. In addition, I'm not going to ignore all of you out there who have less-than-stellar bosses. After I rave about my own good fortune for a bit, we can take a look at how we can all be our own awesome bosses -- regardless of what or who our real life bosses are.
When I started working at a "real" job (my first one!) right after graduate school, I had no idea what to expect. I was pretty sure it would be different from interning at a local radio station or folding clothes at Anthropologie, but I had no idea what I was really getting myself into. Working? Every single day? Me? It all seemed a little overwhelming, but I was thrilled when, after weeks of sending in resumes and researching companies, I finally got that call saying a company wanted to hire me. I didn't really care that it wasn't my dream job because I thought of it as temporary, something to do until that "real" career kicked in. Having been a notorious job-quitter in the past, I was pretty sure I wouldn't stick around too long. I was just happy to know that I'd have a paycheck every other week and a neat little stack of business cards.
It was at that very first interview that I met my first boss, who has turned out to be a great boss. But I didn't always think that. The very first day on the job, he yelled at me for making a mistake. I was in shock. Raised in a very "yes" environment (and rarely yelled at unless I'd done something really wrong), I couldn't believe someone was angry at me for something so completely ridiculous. I wanted to yell back. I wanted to grab my purse and say, "Who do you think you are?! I'm outta here!" Instead, I swallowed my anger and waited until the end of the day to cry, moaning to my father that I absolutely had to quit. He suggested I stick it out, at least for the week.
Stick it out I did and now here I am, two and a half years later, looking back on that memory and laughing. Since that very first day, my boss and I have developed a great relationship (and there's definitely no more yelling!). One of the reasons I believe this has been possible is because, like any great boss, my boss really wants me, as a person, to do well. Of course he wants me to work hard at my company and do the best job I can, but he also wants me to succeed in life. Because I get the feeling that my boss genuinely cares about me, I feel that he's been one of the most positive influences in my life over the past few years. He's helped me to learn more about myself, my abilities, and my strengths and weaknesses. He's helped me to become better at what I do and to generally become a better person. Here's what I think makes him such a great boss...
Reasons My Boss Is Awesome
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He supports me. My boss has my back. When I make decisions, he supports them. When I bring ideas to the table (and they're not completely ridiculous), he backs me up. This is one of the best things you can do if you're someone else's boss. Working should be a team effort and you should always feel like your boss is on your team. If you feel as if it's you vs. him/her, you're going to be in for a rough working relationship. I'm fortunate enough to have a boss who supports the actions I take and is willing to let me try new things because he believes I can accomplish them.
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He challenges me. While it's great to have support from a boss, it's also so important that your boss challenges you. If I weren't asked to move out of my comfort zone from time to time, I probably wouldn't offer to do so. My boss suggests I do things that aren't necessarily the things I want to do, but doing these things helps me to grow both as a employee and as a person. Part of the joy of being challenged too is realizing that someone else thinks you can do something that you can't. (See the quote above.) My boss really believes I'm capable to do a lot more than I usually give myself credit for and without some of the challenges he's given me, I wouldn't have had a lot the opportunities to grow that I've had.
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He encourages me. When I want to try something new, my boss pretty much always thinks its a good idea. He's open to letting me try new things and he's always encouraging me to think about things differently and not limit myself by looking around at what's already in place at our company. While some bosses might sit back and think that the old way of doing things is just fine, my boss encourages me to look for new ways of doing things. In addition, he encourages me to keep working even when tasks aren't going according to plan. He's also quick to offer words of encouragement when I'm faced with unpleasant situations. It's very important to have a boss who encourages you because sometimes work is just plain hard.
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He trusts me. This one is key. If you don't have a boss that trusts you, if you have a boss who is always looking over your shoulder to see if you're doing things properly, it's going to be pretty hard to feel like you have a good relationship with your boss. One of the best things about my boss is that he trusts me. He doesn't micromanage or assume that doing things his way is always the best way. He's open to suggestions and, most importantly, he values my input. Just recently I even heard him tell someone that he'd let me decide things because he trusts my judgment. It's pretty hard to have any sort of functioning relationship without trust and I know firsthand that it's a very important aspect when it comes to having a productive relationship with your boss.
Now, I know I'm probably one of the lucky ones. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive, encouraging boss. But that's okay. You know why? Because you can be your own boss! Okay, maybe not literally, but in the figurative sense you can definitely take control over your life and treat yourself the way a great boss would. How can you do this? All you need to do is pretty much follow my suggestions below...
How To Be Your Own Awesome Boss
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Support yourself. It's awesome if you, like me, have people in your life who support you. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that someone is behind you, backing you up, when it comes to your work. But if that's not the case for you, don't worry. You can become your own biggest fan. The trick to this is believing in yourself. Remind yourself often that you are successful, that you do do a great job at work, and that you are deserving of any and all praise you receive at the office. It's not always easy to do this, but if you can't support yourself, it's going to be pretty hard for others to support you and, if you happen to be a boss, for you to support others.
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Challenge yourself. Every day you're presented with new opportunities to challenge yourself. You have countless opportunities to think about things differently, to try doing things a new way, or to explore new aspects of your job. Challenging yourself is not easy; it's so much better when someone else challenges you because then you have someone else to be accountable to. However, it's very possible that you can create new challenges for yourself every day. You always have the possibility of thinking of new, improved ways of doing things at your office. You always have the option of finding new ways to apply your talents in your workplace. Push yourself out of your comfort zone as often as you can and you'll be amazed by what you learn.
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Encourage yourself. This goes hand-in-hand with supporting yourself, and it's such an important thing to do. It might sound cheesy to encourage yourself or give yourself a big pat on the back every day, but it really can make a difference in your life. It's human nature to want others to encourage us, but it definitely doesn't hurt you to encourage yourself often. In fact, it will make you feel great about yourself and, as a result, you'll have a better outlook (and probably better outcomes) at work. In addition, encourage yourself makes you likely to encourage others too, which makes both you and that other person feel great. So, go on, give yourself a high five just for being awesome!
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Trust yourself. Trusting yourself sounds like it would be easy. After all, we all trust ourselves, right? Wrong. Many people don't believe in themselves and don't have faith that they can complete tasks that they're very capable of doing. Many people second guess themselves and hesitate to take action because they're not sure if they can accomplish what they set out to do. Trusting yourself is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. You might not want to admit it, but you're a lot more capable, a lot stronger, and a lot more prepared than you probably think you are. Look at the quote above and see how you can make that work for you. Believe in yourself and trust that you can do it (whatever "it" is)!
Not everyone has a standard Monday to Friday job, but those that do know just how much a good (or bad) boss can impact that workweek. If you have a boss and have a great relationship with him or her, that's awesome and I'm so glad you have that. If you don't have a good relationship with your boss, it may be time for you think about how you can create one because it's something that can really impact your life. If you have to interact with this person a great deal and depend on him or her in various ways (like, say, to write your yearly review...), you probably want to make the most of the time you spend with this person. I know that, in many cases, that's easier said than done, but today would be a good day to ask yourself...
Am I truly working on having a good relationship with my boss or my employees?
If yes, how am I working on doing that? How can I do that even better?
If no, why not? What can I do to change my attitude to make my relationships more positive?
Trust can be such a big component. That was my favorite part of working with an attorney. Once you have a relationship (and trust) established, it was more of a partnership than a boss/employee relationship because our goals were aligned.
Posted by: Hayden Tompkins | October 16, 2009 at 04:49 AM
Hayden - Trust is VERY hard for me (probably one of my biggest "issues") so it's great to have a boss I can trust and one who trusts me too. Working more as a partnership is a really great way of putting it!
Posted by: positively present | October 16, 2009 at 08:41 AM
Nice post Dani. Many people who write about career success usually say choosing a boss is one of the most important aspects of being successful in your career. I've not been as lucky as you with my previous bosses, but I've learned from the experience of working with them and if anything they've taught me to chose wisely :).
Posted by: Srinivas Rao | October 16, 2009 at 10:00 AM
I really like the way you turned around the people who will say "Oh, I wish I had a boss like that" or, "I'll never be that lucky" by encouraging each person to be their own wonderful boss. I'm definitely working on the things you described. Thank you for writing this!
Posted by: Daphne | October 16, 2009 at 11:05 AM
Good bosses are a rare find! Because they are so rare, then up and coming employees often learn how to be a bad boss and perpetuate the madness. You are blessed to have a good boss. Great post, great advice.
Posted by: Mark | October 16, 2009 at 11:19 AM
Srinvias - Thanks! I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad luck with bosses, but hopefully you'll have a great one in the future. It's definitely important to choose wisely!
Daphne - I'm glad you liked that. I know not everyone can have a great boss and sometimes leaving your job just isn't an option, so I thought I'd come up with a way for people to make the most of whatever sitution they are in.
Mark - Yes they are! Really good point about how we learn from our bosses about how to be a boss... Hopefully people who have bad bosses will read this and get some tips!
Posted by: positively present | October 16, 2009 at 01:07 PM
Yay for you, for having such a great boss, but also for being such a great employee. I imagine your boss is as happy to have you on his team as you are to be there!
A good boss can make or break any job. For my current job, I LOVED it under my first boss, but I can't stand it anymore, due to my current boss. It's the exact same job, but completely different working conditions, and that is reflected in my job satisfaction.
I've always said that I don't really care WHAT I am doing, so long as I have great people to work with, and that includes having a great boss. To me, that's the #1 component of a happy workplace.
Posted by: Jay Schryer | October 16, 2009 at 01:09 PM
DANI DEAREST!!! :)
your positivity sickens me.
really inspiring post though. brought up the yuckness i had felt towards some of my (really meh) past bosses.
love the way you describe how to be a good boss.
awwwwsomeness
alex - unleash reality
Posted by: alex - unleash reality | October 16, 2009 at 01:10 PM
Jay - You've brought up such a great point -- that who your boss is can make SUCH a difference in whether or not you like your job. You can do the exact same thing but if you have a bad boss you'll hate what you're doing. Who is work with is definitely the most important part of any job.
Alex - Haha, sorry to make you sick with my positive outlook! :) I know a lot of people have pretty awful bosses (which is maybe why more people don't celebrate boss's day), but, if that's the case, we can encourage and support ourselves until the day we get a better boss!
Posted by: positively present | October 16, 2009 at 02:31 PM
I'm my own boss so today I will celebrate me ~:-) thank you!
Posted by: Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor) | October 16, 2009 at 06:58 PM
Dani,
I just want to say that I have a great boss, and she's great for all the reasons you mentioned. She trusted me from the very beginning, she's been supportive (both professionally and personally) and has always wanted me to do well in life, even if that means I'll have to quit the job and move on. I can honestly say that her being that way is a huge motivator for me to do well, and try to do the best I can to make her look good and support her need. I feel very grateful she's my boss. :)
Posted by: Mia | October 16, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Char - That's great that you're your own boss. Yay for celebrating yourself!
Mia - It's so great to hear that you have a great boss. She sounds wonderful and I'm so happy to know that others out there have great relationships with their bosses. Awesome bosses are the best!
Posted by: positively present | October 16, 2009 at 10:49 PM
The best bosses know what makes their employees tick. For me, they haven't really been bosses so much as facilitators.
They've clearly identified for themselves the difference between authority and leadership. Their standards tend to be really high for themselves but they don't push others to do the same, they simply lead by example.
I believe great parents and great bosses have very similar traits.
Posted by: Akshay Kapur | October 17, 2009 at 06:20 AM
In my last job, before I was promoted, I had the best boss imaginable. We respected and supported each other; we were each other's champions, confidants, etc. Just like an intimate relationship - or any relationship - I believe we attract who and what we are. As I became more honest, authentic and trustworthy in my job, my boss changed (believe it or not) and switched to someone who matched what I was becoming.
I always said he'd be the last person I worked for because of how great he was. So far, I've kept that promise.
Great post, Dani!
Posted by: Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord | October 17, 2009 at 10:51 AM
Akshay - Good point! Good bosses know how to make the best out of their employees. And leading by example is KEY. Thanks for bringing up some great ideas.
Megan - I completely agree that we attract the people we are. The better we become, the better those around us will also become. It's great to know you also had a great experience with a boss!
Posted by: positively present | October 17, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Hi Dani
What a beautiful tribute to bosses! And I loved the things you said about yours. I am sure not too many people feel as blessed or as grateful as you do. But I think through a post like this it invites them to look again and perhaps even appreciate their circumstances. Or it may inspire a "boss" to act a little more lovingly perhaps?
As for me, working from home - there is no formal boss now. I guess I am my own boss, and I can't pass up an opportunity to be grateful for my being. Life is a precious thing.
Posted by: Evita | October 17, 2009 at 08:42 PM
This could have been posted on my blog. I'm a bit jealous that I didn't think of it.
Your boss must be awesome to deserve such a wonderful tribute.
Most people leave their job not because of pay or company culture, but because their boss stinks. Many boss's don't understand how to lead. They were promoted to their spot without the proper training. This post is a great place for managers to start. Everyone can learn to be a good leader. All it takes is some caring, listening, and hard work.
Posted by: Karl Staib - Work Happy Now | October 17, 2009 at 09:42 PM
Evita - Thank you! I'm very lucky to have a great boss and I hope that others learned to appreciate their bosses more or to act as better bosses. Being your own boss is wonderful and there's no reason you can't be an awesome boss to yourself!
Karl - Haha, yes, it would have fit in well over on Work Happy Now! My boss is definitely awesome and I can't imagine not having a great boss. It would make every day quite a different experience and I'm sure I wouldn't be as happy at my job if I worked for someone who I didn't connect with. You're so right that everyone has the potential to be an awesome boss!
Posted by: positively present | October 17, 2009 at 10:45 PM
What a cool post, Dani! As I started reading it, I thought "but I'm my own boss" ... and then saw that you'd included a whole section for the self-employed. :-)
I have one more suggestion to add to that list, for those who are their own over-seers: "Reward Yourself".
Don't forget that many bosses give out bonuses for an exceptional job. If you've done what you consider an outstanding job on a self-moderated project, give yourself a bonus ... even it if's just a package of nice, new, smooth-writing pens or an extra latte.
After all, you deserve it!
Posted by: Gayze (Gazehound's Animal Communication) | October 18, 2009 at 12:01 PM
Hi Dani .. that's a very good post - succinctly put .. and then turning the 4 points to look at ourselves if we're self employed, or doing our own thing around a job.
Thanks Dani - you're achieving so much ...
well done - Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
Posted by: Hilary | October 18, 2009 at 01:25 PM
Gayze - I'm so glad you liked the post and could relate to it even though you don't have a boss. I think your suggestion is a great one. Rewarding yourself (or your employees) is so important!
Hilary - Thank you! I'm glad you liked the post and I really appreciate the comment and the words of support.
Posted by: positively present | October 18, 2009 at 03:41 PM
I have a controlling director here. He is a micro-manager which I find to be a drag. So I do self-motivate. It isn't always easy, especially over the last 10 years when he became director.
Have you read the No Asshole Rule book? It is enlightening to say the least.
Posted by: Syd | October 20, 2009 at 04:39 PM
Syd - Bummer that your boss is a micro-manager. That's the WORST. But good for you for self-motivating! I've never read the No Asshole Rule book, but it sounds interesting. I'll have to check it out!
Posted by: positively present | October 20, 2009 at 06:45 PM