inspired by the opposite of love

 

 (♥)  

"The worth of a book is to be measured
by what you can carry away from it."

James Bryce
 

I'm not sure when it was that I first picked up a copy of Julie Buxbaum's The Opposite of Love, but from the moment I held the book in my hands I knew I would like it. At the time I had no idea just how much I would like it. It was, in a single word, amazing. To sound completely and ridiculous cliche, I laughed, I cried...It evoked so many wonderful (and sometimes heart-breaking) emotions in me. Though the novel itself was something I could relate to on level of uncanny familiarity, the topic alone was not what struck me. It was the writing. I read a lot of books. A lot. But few of them seemed as accessible -- and yet brilliant beyond anything I could think to write -- as this one did. I suppose that's what I loved most about it -- the ability to relate to it while also feeling awed by the brilliance of the writing. It was on my level and yet, somehow, above me. I loved that I could connect with the characters without that dreaded, "I could have written this" feeling. I was connected and yet separate while turning the pages of this moving, inspiring book.

I can recall the morning I finished reading The Opposite of Love. I'd woken up too early and instantly reached for it on my bedside, eager to finish the final chapter. It was one of those books that, after it was finished, I genuinely missed the characters. That, to me, is a sure sign of a great work of fiction. If I finish a book and, instead of eagerly reaching for my next read, sit there and wish I could start reading it all over again, I know I've just finished a great piece of work. Still clinging to that feeling, I rushed out to buy a copy of After You, Julie Buxbaum's second book.

I couldn't wait to crack the cover of After You, but, you see, I was nervous. What if this one wasn't as good? After all, how could it be when I'd fallen so head-over-heels in love with The Opposite of Love? I'd been in this position before, loving one book by an author so much that I ran out and bought his/her books only to be sourly disappointed, so I have to admit that before I read After You I had my doubts. But, boy, were those doubtful thoughts a waste of time. After You was brilliant. Again, I was so sucked in by the characters that I felt like I knew them. Again, when I finally finished it, I missed the characters. I wanted to start reading it all over again. The only disappointment I faced was realizing that there were no more Buxbaum books to read.

As I said, I really love to read and I read a lot. I have too many favorite books to count and I have a whole pile of authors that I just adore. However, for the first time, realizing there were no more Buxbaum books to read and feeling as if I had to express my appreciation for them somehow, I reached out to Buxbaum, writing her an email and sending her a message on Twitter. Never before had I made contact with an author simply to tell him or her that I truly loved a book, but I'm so glad I did. Buxbaum was so responsive and genuinely appreciative and her thoughtful replies made me love her work even more (if that's even possible!). Though I just read in Elizabeth Berg's Home Safe that one should always try to separate the author from his or her work, I find that hard to do. Buxbaum's appreciation and responsiveness heightened my appreciation for her work and for her as a person.

When I mentioned to Buxbaum in an email that I'd be happy to interview her and post it on my site, I didn't really think she'd say yes. I wouldn't have been disappointed if she hadn't done the interview, but I have to admit that I'm thrilled that she agreed to do it. How often is it that you have the opportunity to interview one of your favorite authors?! It's certainly never happened to me before and I can't thank Julie enough for taking the time out of her very busy schedule to answer the following questions. It was so wonderful to learn more about her as a person. 

An Interview with Julie Buxbaum
 

Do you have any female roles models? If so, why/how do they inspire you?I do, but there are probably too many to name!  When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Supreme Court Justice when I grew up -- yes, I was that dorky -- so I've always looked up to Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.  I am pretty much inspired by any woman who gets out there and works hard for something she's passionate about.

Have you encountered any difficulties being a female writer in a male-dominated world? I am not sure I've encountered difficulties, but I do think female writers are treated differently than male writers. For some reason, the topics that women (myself included) often choose to write about -- love, family, etc... -- are devalued by the literary world, viewed as "feminine", and often considered not worthy of review attention. I also find that women are happy to read books with both male and female protagonists, but men are much more hesitant to pick up a book in which the main character is a woman.  I can't tell you how often I am asked if my work is "chick lit", which is a question I don't particularly mind, but I guarantee most male writers aren't asked to classify their work in the same way.

What do you love most about being a woman? Pretty much everything! 

What do you love most about being an author? I love that I now look forward to Monday mornings, because I never know where my work will take me. That, and the fact that I get to write in my pajamas.

Have any female characters in books you've read inspired you? How so? I am a huge fan of the book The Secret Garden -- it plays a very large role in my second novel After You -- and I am completely in love with the main character, Mary.  She starts out as a whiny, unhappy, and mostly unsympathetic little girl in the book, but by the end has bloomed.  It's a magical story of self healing and redemption, and every time I read that classic, I am inspired by her transformation.

What was the most positive experience you had relating to the creation of your books? There is no better feeling than when you nail the exact right sentence, or paragraph, or figure out a particularly difficult plot point.  I get so carried away by what I am doing, I lose all sense of time and place, and just find myself completely absorbed.  Those are the moments that make me want to keep writing.  I can't say this happens often, but it happens just enough that I find myself completely addicted.

Who are your favorite characters in your own books and why? In After You, there is a little boy named Inderpal who is based on my husband.  It's the one and only time I've ever based a character on a real person, but thought it would be fun to imagine him as kid.  (He has always said that he wishes we could have known each other as children, so figured this was the closest we'd ever get.)   Luckily, it fit naturally with the plot, but I think it's only fair that he would be my favorite character I've written. He may not be the most important, or the most well developed, but he captures my heart.

Who are a few of your favorite female authors and why?I know this is not an original answer, but I love Jane Austen. Her work is amazingly timeless.  I am also a huge fan of Marilynne Robinson.  Her novel Gilead is one of the most beautiful pieces of literature I've ever read.  It's a deliberately slow read, but it's worth wading through. Her words are poetry.

If you could offer women writers one piece of advice, what would it be? I think the most important ingredient to being a writer -- except perhaps making sure you actually write -- is to read as widely and critically as possible.  I try to read anything and everything, and every book I pick up somehow informs my own work.  And one more thing -- don't be afraid to call yourself a writer.  If you write, whether you are published or not, you are a writer.  I was no more a writer the day before I got my publishing contract as I was the day after. 

Thanks again to Julie for agreeing to be interviewed. It was wonderful to take a little journey inside the mind of this brilliant author. She is the kind of writer that reminds me why I am a writer (yep, I called myself a writer, Julie!). Her books are the kinds of books that inspire me to sit at my computer for hours, crafting sentences and unleashing little bits of inspiration. If you didn't already realize, I adore Buxbaum's books and I highly recommend that you pick up copies of both ASAP if you haven't already read them. (For instant gratification, click the pictures above to purchase the books from Amazon). And if you're not much of a reader, stay tuned for the film version of The Opposite of Love starring Anne Hathaway. Want to know more about Julie Baxbaum? Check out her website and follow her on Twitter @juliebux.  

Comments

[Kate I]

I really love that you went for this interview even when you weren't sure that the author would be able to do it. You took the risk and it payed off! Very inspiring!

I'm looking for books to take to Mexico this winter and this one sounds wonderful. Thanks for this.

[Ideas With A Kick]

Interesting interview. I usually find that good writers have a lot of good ideas and inspiring stories to share. I recently read an interview with Chuck Palahniuck, the author of Fight Club, that blew my mind. Or maybe it's just their ability to phrase them well. Who knows :)

Eduard

[Positively Present]

Kate - I'm glad I decided to ask her because I really got a lot out of doing the interview. I originally did it for my other blog (www.hopespringsinternal.com) but decided that I had to post it on both because I was so happy she agreed to do it. I would definitely recommend checking out the books. They are great!

IWAK - I agree that writers usually do some great interviews. I love Palahniuck's work but I've never read an interview with him. I'd imagine that he'd be a pretty great person to interview!

[Hilary]

Hi Dani .. hope you had a wonderful holiday? and as you say nothing ventured nothing gained - well done on getting the interview. Julie offers some interesting insights and your questions were well put.

Thanks - Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories

[Positively Present]

Hilary - Thank you! I did have a wonderful holiday. The best ever in fact! :) Yes, great point about "nothing ventured, nothing gained." I'm glad I mentioned it to her and I'm so glad she agreed to do it!

[Tom Volkar / Big Link Rally]

I liked her comment that we are all writers regardless of being published. Strong identity statements like that tend to build our self-confidence and cut down on deadly self-judgment. I applaud you for asking for what you want.

[J.D. Meier]

Welcome back!

Good job on a nice, insightful interview.

[Positively Present]

Tom - I liked that as well. It's really good to think of yourself as a writer even if you aren't published.

J.D. - Thank you! I'm glad you liked the interview.

[Eric]

The last statement is incredibly powerful advice. "Don't be afraid to call yourself a writer. If you write, whether you are published or not, you are a writer." I absolutely love that.

[Mark]

Thanks for the review, I am intrigued.

[Melissa Donovan]

Excellent interview! I too have noticed that women will read male or female protagonists while men seem to prefer male characters in leading roles. A few years ago, I was discussing this with a fellow (female) writer and she stated outright that she planned on writing male protagonists to generate more (future) sales. This really bothers me.

[Positively Present]

Eric - I agree. When I read that line, I was very moved because, even though I'm not a published writer, I consider myself a writer. No matter what you do, you should should consider your passion what you are.

Mark - You're welcome! You should definitely check out her books. They are beautifully written.

Melissa - Thanks! Wow, it bothers me too that someone would write from a specific gender just to get more sales. Of course, I understand why one would want more sales, but it's sad that it has to be that way.

[Ashley]

Thanks so much for suggesting these books! After I read your post, I found an excerpt from 'The Opposite of Love' and bought it then and there. I finally received my copy on Tuesday and finished the book last night - I couldn't put it down.

So again, thanks for suggesting this great read... I'm ordering 'After You' right now!

[Positively Present]

Ashley - I'm so glad you liked the book! :) It was such a great one and After You is also really wonderful. Hope you like that one too!