the power of acceptance: a path to an open heart

This is a guest post by Gilbert Ross, author of the blog Soul Hiker. On his site, Gilbert writes about personal development, the path to inner change, mindfulness, and consciousness. Whenever I visit his site and read his post, I leave feeling inspired. If you haven't had a chance to visit Soul Hiker yet, I'd suggest you check it out right after reading this post! You can also follow Gilbert on Twitter @soulhiker.

You have the freedom to make so many choices in your life – good or bad, wise or foolish. You can choose between alternative paths that affect your whole life and those of others. Hence with freedom comes big responsibility. Free will means having the power to make conscious choices. It means being awake at the wheel while you drive through your life. How much of your choices do you think are a product of free will? What percentage of your actions is born out of self-determined resolutions? Are you free to do what your heart tells you? Are you living your true purpose in life with joy and enthusiasm? 

More often than not, people are not free or at least not completely so. Some are locked up in their past while some others are tied to an emotional baggage that weighs them down. Others are imprisoned in repetitive cycles of behavior where the same old events in life habitually give rise to the same old reactions. 

One big barrier to personal and emotional freedom is the lack of accepting situations we come across in life. By not accepting things we become immobilized – we are unable to get past our negative emotions and move forward in life. We become incapable of facing reality without the veils and illusions of the self-centered ego and this causes so much suffering and stress. The first step is to learn to accept things with an open heart. Acceptance does not mean giving up or surrendering to life so as to be dragged around or trampled over. 

What Acceptance Means

• Regaining focus and perspective of your true purpose in life. We often don’t accept things because our mission in life is not clear and so we mistake simple shortcomings for true loss. We confuse the authentic value of things for inauthentic ones. 
  
  
• Synchronizing your heart and mind. Emotional turbulence arises when your beliefs and thoughts are not aligned to your heart’s desires. Little mishaps upsets you more than they should. 
  
  
• Trusting yourself and your relation with the divine. To accept things means that you openly trust the divinity that works through you to bring forth more life. 
  
  
• Experiencing life without unnecessary criticism and judgment. With accepting comes the joy to embrace life without trying to classify the event or criticize it. Just let it be. 
  
  
• Realizing that you can’t control everything in your life. Control brings pressure and stress. You have to understand that in as much as there are things you can consciously change, there are other which you cannot but can respond to in a balanced and healthy way. 
  
  
• Learning to fail. Getting in terms with the fact that people very often fail and this is only a natural cycle of life. Failure is good if you respond to it wisely. 
  
  
• Realizing that the world or the universe is not conspiring against you. This can make some people not accept a given situation. We sometimes say “why is this happening to me?”, “What did I do to deserve it?”, “Why am I stuck here?”
  
  
• Putting an end to victimization. In relation to the above, understanding that you are not a victim of your fate. You are still responsible for whatever happens to you by responding to it in the right way. 
  
  
• Learning that you are part of the bigger picture. We tend to see things from a self-centered point of view. We think that our problems are bigger, different and special than those of others. By accepting we see that we are in no privileged position and others have problems too which can be much bigger than ours. 
  
  
• Gaining emotional freedom that no other thing can match. Accepting means letting go of the emotional baggage and opening your heart to a richer and broader experience of life. An open heart can give you a full life that an open mind alone cannot. 
  
  
• Knowing yourself better. Accepting implies getting one step closer to your true self because acceptance makes you see the true nature of things including yourself. 
  
  
• Feeling a lightness of being that brings relieve, joy and happiness. Learning to accept things makes you understand that even though you are responsible for your actions you don’t need to bear the whole weight of consequences on your shoulder. Failure happens and some things are out of our control. 
  
  
• Working with life and not working against it. When we don’t accept things we create currents of negative energy and friction that attracts more negative energy towards us. Accepting makes us at peace with life and with ourselves.  You’ll see how things will work out better. 

I know it’s not always easy to accept whatever dire circumstances come your way. I also know that some things are harder to accept than others. I’ve been there many times. But once you let the power of acceptance to work in your life, you will unleash so many positive effects that it’s hard to let it go once it touches your heart.  

 

Gilbert Ross is the main author of the blog Soul Hiker. He writes about personal development, the path to inner change, mindfulness, and consciousness. His objectives are connecting with others to share insights and knowledge while promoting life changing skills such as meditation. Gilbert holds the view that we are at the brink of an unprecedented global shift in technology, culture, and spirituality. He strongly believes that our present time is an opportunity for big positive leaps both personally and collectively. Gilbert holds a Masters in Philosophy of Science, another subject he is passionate about. One of his main interests is studying the structure and evolution of knowledge at the individual, social, and cyber levels. 

Comments

[Eric]

Wow, great guest post. At each bulleted item, I thought to myself "wow, that's a great tip, can't get better than that!" Then I read the next tip and think the same thing. One great tip after another, it's hard for me to pick a favorite. I do like the big picture tip though. We often become too self focused, and focus on the details. It's a very good exercise to step back and see it from another's eyes, or to just look at your issue in the scope of the world's issues.

[Ideas With A Kick]

Gilbert, you're the man!

I believe self acceptance is one of the most importance things you can have. From there, a lot of positive traits derive and your life seems to just FLOW.

And one more thing, I think the best form of self-acceptance is unconditional.

Eduard

[Mike aka Find Inspiration]

Gilbert - great post on accepting various things that happen in our lives. I look forward to reading more on your site!!!

[Steven]

Hey Gilbert, this is a great guest post. Possibly one of the best that I've read, simply because of the strong messages delivered in such simple point forms.

The point "Putting an end to victimization", really hit the spot for me. I've seen and been with so many people that like to victimize themselves, it's a bad habit that would get them the attention but ultimately destroy their consciousness.

Thank you for the great post Gilbert. :)

[Patricia]

Gilbert is where I am going to this week! all around the sphere - He must be the moat in my ear and eye

I very much like how you explained the list and high lighted the important and helped find the path the words lead too for the self.

Thank you for sharing and writing this very interesting post.

[Gilbert Ross]

Hi Eric,

Thanks for your great comment. Yes, seeing the big picture is a very important point because if we do not step back and see things more objectively and holistically we cannot accept life as it is. Subjectivity makes us blind.

[Gilbert Ross]

@Eduard - you're the man too ;) I agree with you that the best form of acceptance is unconditional...just like Love :)

@Mike - and I look forward to seeing you there! :)

[Gilbert Ross]

Hi Steven,

Thank you for your kind words. You gave me a nice positive boost this morning :) unfortunately, yes, self-victimization is a very common self-destructive habit. And sometimes it is very hard to help the person get out of it especially if the habit has spiraled down very deep. The lesson of acceptance is an important one in that case.

[Gilbert Ross]

Hi Patricia,

I am pleased to talk to you again this week :) I thank you for sharing your thoughts. Stay around ;)

[Positively Present]

Eric, Eduard, Mike, Steven, Patricia - Thank you all for your wonderful and insightful comments! I'm sure Gilbert really appreciates your feedback. I personally really got a lot out of this post he wrote and I'm glad to see that you did as well!

Gilbert - Thanks again for writing such a brilliant post. I felt the same way Eric did about your bullet points. All of them were great! Also, thanks for responding to commenters. I'm sure they really like knowing that their comments are being read by you.

[Dayne]

I truly believe Acceptance is one of the most powerful habits we can implement in our lives. When combining that with being truly present, amazing things can happen in our lives.

Dayne
TheHappySelf.com
http://www.thehappyself.com

[green ink]

Gilbert, what a brilliant post! I liked two points in particular - being part of a bigger picture, and gaining emotional freedom (funny how they were right next to each other!). I think that's one of the biggest obstacles to happiness - seeing things from a very self-absorbed perspective, and not realising that we need an open heart as well as an open mind to truly flourish and grow. You've really inspired me today, thank you!

[Gilbert Ross]

@ Dayne - Hey that's a powerful comment! I totally agree with you - Acceptance together with presence of being = unlimited self-realization and growth. Well said

@ Green ink - Thank you very much. Of course you're right spot on - being self-absorbed is such an obstacle to happiness because it disconnects you from the flow of life's energy and abundance. Self-absorption leads us away from uncovering our authentic selves because it keeps us in illusion and sometimes with negative inner ruminations which are the cause of depression.

[J.D. Meier]

Beautiful point on acceptance. Acceptance is the solution for resistance, and that's always a key ingredient for the path forward.

[Gilbert Ross]

Dani,

Thanks for having me here. I have really enjoyed it and it was such a blessing sharing a word with really special people here.

Positively present gave me this opportunity. There is a truly positive environment in this blog. I can truly feel its positive energy :) Keep up the good work!

@ everyone - if you liked this article I would appreciate if you could Digg or bookmark it - I think Dani and her blog really deserve it!! Thanks

[Positively Present]

Dayne and J.D. - Great comments about acceptance! It's so important and Gilbert handled this topic wonderfully.

Green Ink - I also liked the points you highlighted in your comment. Those were great ones!

Gilbert - Thanks for encouraging everyone to Digg/bookmark the article! I think YOU deserve that for writing such a brilliant piece. Thanks again!

[Davina]

Hi Dani. Yes, it isn't always easy to accept what circumstances come our way. "Putting an end to victimization" is a huge step in getting through those times. Just stopping to think about the role you are playing shifts the energy and perspective around what is happening. Right on!

[Syd]

I prefer not to be a victim or stoop into self-pity. I like the positive aspects that you write about here. I do believe that things will work out the way that they are supposed to.

[Positively Present]

Davina - It's definitely not always easy, but it's possible. I'm glad you enjoyed the points Gilbert brought up here!

Syd - I also try to avoid the victim mentality because it never does anyone any good. As you noted, Gilbert did a great job of putting a very positive spin on this topic, which was great!

[MindfulnessDVD]

Thanks for your post. Acceptance is such an important concept and so easy to forget.

[Positively Present]

MindfulnessDVD - Thank you for your comment on Gilbert's post. I'm sure he will really appreciate it!

[Steven Handel]

Truly an excellent little list of wisdom. I will be checking both this site, positively present, and Gilbert's Soul Hiker in the near future. I had no idea that blogging could become so insightful!

[Positively Present]

Steven - Thanks for your comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading Gilbert's post. I hope you enjoy looking around Positively Present and I hope you get a chance to check out Gilbert's site as well. It's a great one! :)