guest post: 28 steps to a positive & successful life

 
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As a reminder, I'm on a business trip (oh what fun!) until January 18th. In the meantime, I have some great guest posts to share with you... Today's post was written by Tess, author and creator of one of my favorite sites, The Bold Life. Whenever I visit her website, I leave feeling inspired. One of my favorite things about Tess's site is the warning that appears at the top of the page. It reads: "Warning! My blog will challenge you to be more, give more, live fearlessly, take more chances and show up in the world unstoppable, daring and bold." The first time I visited her site and checked that out, I was hooked! Be sure to check her out if you haven't already!


When we live with positive attitudes we touch not only the people around us in a good way but the entire world. Like a pebble tossed in a pond the ripple effect is endless. Knowing we all have that much power let’s take our positive presence up a notch or two and make a dynamic difference in the lives of everyone! The following methods will help you do so:

 

1. Do things that make you happy. Make a list of activities you enjoy doing. Include them regularly throughout the week. Spend time with people you enjoy. Eat foods you love. Wear clothes that fit you and your style. Become interested in other people, places and things.
   
   
2. Schedule downtime. Rejuvenate, relax and breathe deeply. When we take time to contemplate life and slow down we are tempted to think we are wasting time or not doing enough. The opposite is true. The mental and physical rewards of down time will help you shine in all other areas. Remember the turtle and the hare!
   
   
3. Surround yourself with positive things. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I fill my office with meaning full reminders including favorite photos, posters, books and meaningful stone and shells. I also have magazine and newspaper articles I've had published in frames. My home is filled only with things that are useful or beautiful. I don’t have time in my life for clutter or stuff. My time and energy is better spent on being fully alive.
   
   
4. Plan, plan and plan. Having a plan that will lead you to your dreams will increase your positivity and productivity. Create your long term goals and do three things daily to move towards them. One focused step at a time will get you there.
   
   
5. Be generous. Share daily. Leave generous tips. You will put a smile on the servers face and it will affect the next table. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Encourage others. Help someone succeed. Help others get what you want. Share your wisdom. You have so much to give and what you have will come back tenfold.
   
   
6. Become an early riser. Create the habit of getting up one hour earlier. You can use this as "me time" to pray, meditate and get prepared for your day.
   
   
7. Turn your car into a university. You can educate yourself with Pod casts and CDs on your niche. Listen to spiritual speakers for inspiration. You can even learn a new language during your commute.
   
   
8. Create a support system. Create a dream team of others who are going for their dreams. Meet regularly to share your successes and your problems. Be there for each other. Celebrate your progress.
   
   
9. Eliminate something negative. Stop one bad habit. If you are always late commit to being on time. If you eat junk food, add one new fruit to your diet. If you have debt, begin saving your change at the end of each day.
   
   
10. Be yourself. “I'd rather be hated for being myself than loved for being someone I'm not.”  Authenticity will make you glow. It will increase your self-love and create stability in your life. You are unique, worthy and we need you to do your part.
    
    
11. Let go of judgment. When we judge another it's a reflection of ourselves. Put yourself in another's shoes. We are all doing the best we know how to do. When we know better we do better. (Louise Hay)
    
    
12. Don't compare. It's easy to become envious of someone else's success. Most of us want more readers, comments, tweets and better statistics. You have no idea what someone else has gone through or done to get to where they are today. When you see someone doing well, bless them, praise them and congratulate them. Chances are their success is making the world a better place. Keep doing what you're good at.  Rejoice that you've touched others and made a difference in their lives. We are each playing our own part in the world. I can't do your part and you can't do mine. Yet we are all pieces of one giant puzzle.
    
    
13. Limit your TV time. Instead spend quality time with family and friends. Begin a new project. Help someone. Get physical. Go to the theater. Listen to music. Dance. Play board games. Communicate face to face. Touch, hug and enjoy the company of others.
    
    
14. Limit your computer time. How much time to you spend with your family and friends (face to face) compared to how much time you spend on line?  If you want an honest answer ask you family and friends if they feel neglected. It's all about balance.
    
    
15. Use positive language. Avoid telling yourself and others something can't be done. Eliminate 'never,' 'can't,' 'won't,' 'always,' 'should,' and 'maybe.' Instead use these sentences: What can I do for you? Please. Thank you. You betcha! I'm on your side. I'm here for you. I'll find a way. Become aware of speaking negatively about anyone or anything.
    
    
16. Be flexible. Know the unexpected will happen. Your car won't start, a loved one will die, or you will lose your job. Learn to cope in difficult times. Be willing and open to change. Know this too shall pass.
    
    
17. Drop your someday syndrome. Take a risk. Begin a new business. Go to a concert. Take a trip. Visit a far away friend or land. Enjoy today what you've been putting off for some day. Life is for living not planning. Suck the marrow out of it. You are responsible for the quality of your life.
    
    
18. Believe you make a difference. It's easy to think the world is falling apart. If it is it's because it will be made into something even better! I currently tutor nine children in reading and writing. These nine children will struggle less in every subject because of my help.  Do what you can to influence what the future holds.
    
    
19. Become physically active. Don't think of it as exercise. Instead have fun riding your bike or hiking with a friend. Invite someone to go swimming or rollerblading. There are so many ways to have fun you won't notice you're exercising.
    
    
20. Choose your friends carefully. Eliminate the energy zappers in your life. As you change you will be drawn to more positive people. In order to make room for the new you need to let go of the old. It will happen naturally as you become a happier person.
    
    
21. Remember you have a choice. Nobody has more control over your life than you. Don't sleep walk through it. When things aren’t going well choose again! Plan happy times for your future. Think of them as life’s coming attractions. Learn to enjoy your own company. You will be with you forever!
    
    
22. Refuse to complain. I tell my clients to stop complaining for 3 weeks. When you catch yourself begin your 3 weeks over again. The purpose of the exercise isn't to never complain again. You're human. The purpose is to become aware of how often you complain and what you complain about.
    
    
23. Educate yourself. What areas of you life do you wish to improve. Find a mentor, read a book, attend a workshop or take an online class. Be willing to get the information and help you need. When you know better you do better.
    
    
24. Focus on where you are going. No matter how difficult life seems today keep putting one foot in front of the other. Eventually you will arrive to a place where you can say, "I'm a positive person."
    
    
25. Be present. Our ego or smaller self tempts us to live in the pain of the past or fear of the future. Remind yourself that in the present moment everything is OK. What ever is happening in your life it’s unfolding exactly as it should. In this moment all is well. Each time you notice your mind wandering bring it back to the present moment. This will become a way of live.
    
    
26. Change your mood. Catching yourself in a bad mood is one step. Changing your mood is the second. If you want immediate relief keep a notebook and write down 10 good things in your life. If you make this a habit you'll feel more grateful. You can't be unhappy and grateful at the same time.
    
    
27. Surround yourself with positive people. They will influence every area of your life: the person you become, your income, and your values. They can influence your health, your parenting, your goals and your work. There is a lot of power in that! Don't be afraid to make friends with the best. You may be the one they've been looking for all along.
    
    
28. Enjoy your life. My mom is 89+ years old. I’m one of 10 children and she has 36 grandchildren. I’m not sure of the number of great grandchildren! She finished 6th grade. She never learned to drive a car. She loved to cook, spend time in her flower garden and baby sit her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She complained very little and taught us to look on the bright side. She also taught me how to be happy and enjoy life. From her I learned my positive attitude. I'm forever grateful.

 

(Note: If these 28 tips seem impossible, you may struggle with depression. It’s important you don’t beat yourself up. Instead look into getting professional help.)

If you enjoyed Tess's post, check out her site The Bold Life. You'll love what you find there! Her words and articles are always inspirational and uplifting. You can also find Tess on Twitter @TheBoldLife.

What do you do to stay positive?
How has your positive attitude affected your life?

Comments

[Jen]

Great tips - thanks Tess (and Dani). I particulary liked 'turn you car into a university'.:)

[Tess The Bold Life]

Jen,
Thanks for stopping by and I love turning my car into a place of learning and inspiration!

[Stacey Shipman]

Hi Tess and Dani,
I, too like #7 - too many people allow traffic to get the best of them instead of seeing the upside - an opportunity for downtime, alone time or learning time.

13 & 14, too if more people could disconnect from technology and instead connect to people, I think that in itself would create more satisfying and '"feel good" living.

Thanks for sharing this list!

[Lance]

Hi Tess,
Great seeing you here!!!

And what a list! If we can do all of these things, we really have moved into a positive and successful life. The one that really jumps out for me is "don't compare". For me, I like to think of this as "there's no way we can know what it's like to have walked in another person's shoes for even a day...let alone a lifetime". So comparisons and judging just don't fit. Although...that doesn't mean this isn't doesn't happen - it can be so easy to just see the surface, and make assumptions (and comparisons). I "try" not to do this...and yet, I know there are moments...

[All Women Stalker]

I love these! Except for a few things, I seem be doing alright as I try to do most of these every day. :)

[J.D. Meier]

I think surrounding yourself with positive people is huge. While we should always lead ourselves from the inside out, we end up modeling, learning, and getting inspired from the people we hang with.

[Faizal]

Hey Tess,

I think this list was awesome! It had some great tips that we need to be reminded of. I really love number 25 "Be present". I couldn't agree with that more.

Thanks!

[Syd]

Great list. I have to laugh about spending too much time on the computer. Yep, I do that--how would I get through all the blogs if I didn't?

[Jodi at Joy Discovered]

Great list, Tess! It's nice to see you over here. I love the tip of turning your car into a university. I do that a lot and I really enjoy it. I also like your advice to schedule downtime. All of your advice is awesome!

Dani, I hope your business trip is going well. Happy New Year!

[Sami - Life, Laughs & Lemmings]

Now that's a list! The one that really resonated with me was scheduling downtime. It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately. It's time to stop thinking about it and just do it. Thanks Tess!

[Suzie Cheel]

I love this (Note: If these 28 tips seem impossible, you may struggle with depression. It’s important you don’t beat yourself up. Instead look into getting professional help.)
Especially the don't beat yourself up

I loved that I could tick most and know that how I start my day is soo important. I love that I can be inspired by nature each morning.

Now to put some time into that Plan, plan,plan- one of my stumbling blocks currently

Love what you are writing
Suzie

[Lyndsay]

I have been trying to do a few of these the past few days before reading this. I'm sure I have a milder case of seasonal affective disorder. These are good tips though. Maybe I should print this out to remind myself.

[Lyndsay]

"You can't be unhappy and grateful at the same time."

I do disagree with this though. I have felt unhappy and grateful at the same time. It's a weird feeling I suppose but it happens. The last time it happened I was unhappy and saw a homeless person. I was suddenly grateful I had a home but still unhappy and possibly even more unhappy because I had been reminded that not everyone has a home.

[Derrick]

I very much enjoyed reading all these positive points.My favorie is #25.Once you live in the present moment everything else seems to make sense.As for #7,I to thought it was a good idea,but one must keep in mind what is the most important thing that reqiures my attention at this moment.When it comes to driving I think we have to be careful that we don't take it for granted,as driving at it's best can be very dangerous.So ,put everything in to pespective I guess?

Thanks

[Patty - Why Not Start Now?]

Wow, Tess, this is quite a list. And knowing that you embody all of these things is inspiring. I liked the "turn your car into a university" advice too. Nicely stated! The big one I see in myself and clients is "someday syndrome." I'm working hard to crack that one this year; that's one of the reasons I started Meaning Mondays.

[Wilma Ham]

Hi Tess, if you read your points you wonder how come anybody is ever unsuccessful and negative ever again.
I love this number 18 because that for me is beautiful and shows what 'we are all one' means; "These nine children will struggle less in every subject because of my help. Do what you can to influence what the future holds."
Yes, go beyond little me and make a compelling future for all of us.
I would love to peek around the cornner and to see you boldly work together. You are so clever to pick children to work with.
xox Wilma