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This is a great post Dani. I really feel for you in this situation: I finally left my job last year after hating it for years, but being too scared to change. I'd tried being more positive and accepting within the job, but ultimately the job itself in relation to who I am was the problem. It definitely sounds like it's time for you to make a change. The practical wisdom is that it won't happen overnight, but you can work out both a realistic exit strategy from your current job and a plan to make your dreams come true. For example, can you save like crazy for six months and build up a fund to live on while your new writing career takes off? Could you explore doing your current job 4 days a week instead of 5, to give more time to what you love doing? I've been inspired by the posts in Zen Habits about moving into doing what you love as a career.

Two things I believe: one is that you can do it, you're a talented writer and you can follow your dream. Second, I believe that once you decide to change, and begin to put your energy behind that change (like making plans, exploring new avenues), the universe comes in to support you, and amazing things happen.

So I wish you lots of luck with it, and to just go for it. xx

Wow...that is exactly how I felt this past week at work. I even wrote about it in my blog...well, more like vented about it. My job is a bit different then most and it's not M-F or 8-5. I often find myself having to go to work on my days off too.

I really don't like my job and I was swallowed by that dark cloud this past week. Filled with anxiety before my "Monday" makes my "Sunday" dreadful. Here I am on "Thursday" and I can't believe that the week isn't over yet. I still have two days left.

I have been struggling with this the whole week...like you...and made the decision yesterday to focus on the good things as best as possible. I am a Christian, so I pray and pray and pray.

Before the start of the new week, I applied to two other jobs and use that hope to continue to get me through.

I use prayer, the people around me (which only works when you like them), and reminding myself that it won't last forever to get through situations that suck.

I don't have fear of change, because I love change. I love adventure and travel and the thought of moving to a whole new place is so exciting to me. I long for that kind of excitement. I fear the unchanging. I look at change whether job or city or style as an opportunity to reinvent myself. I love books, so I like to believe that my life is my story and with every change is a new chapter in the heroine's (that's me!) journey.

Good luck, Dani, on your search for a new job! Embrace the opportunity to put the new you into a career that fits.

A quick PS Dani - if you haven't come across it, check out the Freelance Writing Gigs blog http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/

I can't see the comment feed at the moment, so apologies if someone else has suggested this too. x

When i find my self in a long term situation I do not want to be in (such as a job or class) I try to put aside my dislike for the situation while I am in the middle of it. Thinking and dwelling on the problem while it is ongoing just makes the pain worse. If you can deal with it in your own time when you are not being exposed to the situation it is easier to make rational decisions.

"it involved someone’s inappropriate behavior and a lot of crying on my part"

WOW, Dani, please tell me you have an HR department that you can go to on this. That is absolutely unprofessional, uncalled for, and just wrong wrong wrong.


Please know you that shouldn't have to put up with any of that.

Welcome back Dani! It sounds like you have a good handle on the situation. Good for you for finally making the decision to jump ship. I'm of the opinion that we all spend far too much time at our jobs to stay in one we don't like.

In the past, when it's come to jobs, I've tended to jump ship and just swim like hell, which is odd for me seeing as I tend to be a planner. I think what happened is I'd gotten to points where the pain exceeds the pleasure to such an extent that I literally HAVE to get out. Whilst I'm currently really happy (mostly) about the career side of my life, I'd like to think that I'd see the warning signs and do something about them a lot sooner now.

As for writing gigs, you could try the job boards on Problogger, or go to elance.com. Another option could be to contact your local newspapers and see if there's anything going (you never know, especially with the smaller papers).

PS. I'm with Hayden re the inappropriate behaviour thing. Hope you had someone to go to about that.

Good luck with the job hunting!

Catherine - Thanks for your inspiring comment! I really think you're right about the practical wisdom. I'm sure I can find a way to start working on an exit strategy without dramatically quitting my job. I also really loved what you said about how the universe will respond if I begin taking action. I think that's definitely true. Thanks for the link to Freelance Writing Gigs too! That looks great!

Jonique - I really appreciate the comment. It's great to hear from someone who is a similar spot. It's a tough place to be in, but I believe we will get through it. I'm just going to keep applying and trying to find new ways to get to a place that makes me really happy.

Quinn - Great advice! I'm really trying to put aside my dislike for the situation and be positive about it. Dwelling on the negative only makes it worse and it always helps to focus on the positive. Being positive also makes it much easier to be rational.

Hayden - The way I wrote it makes it sound a bit more dramatic than maybe it was (or maybe I am rationalizing that now as I write this?), but I actually never thought about going to HR since it didn't involve anyone working for my company. However, since it was a work-related situation, that's not a bad idea. Thanks for the advice and the hug! :)

Sami - Thank you! I'm definitely at that point where I feel like I HAVE to get out, but I'm also trying to be logical and rational about it. It's a tough thing to balance and I definitely wish I'd listened to the warning signs sooner (like when the economy was better!). I'm definitely going to check out the suggestions you offered. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and share your ideas, Sami!

I hear you loud and clear on this. I'm in the exact situation you are. I need out and I feel like I am very trapped in a job I do not like in the slightest. I am ALSO stuck in a very uncomfortable situation because of someone's inappropriate behavior and have had to deal with seeing them for a year since it happened. They sit very close to me and it makes for a very awkward environment.
It will be interesting to read your blog and see how you stay positive. I know it can be very hard.
I am working hard on living in the moment. I'm reading "The Power of Now" to see if that will help.

My mantra is "This too shall pass...."

Dani-thanks for a very open article. In my experience, awakening ebbs and flows, and ebbs can be quite uncomfortable. Careers, relationships, goals, life gets ruffled up. In these times, I've found it most useful to allow. If we completely and lovingly allow, even allow what we consider negative, what happens?

My mind told me I'll fall apart if I don't push to be postive, but what actually happens when I allow is that I can be still enough to see and release.

Thanks for a very helpful article.


It is difficult to have to live a life you do not wish to live. You give some very good ways to deal with it.

Avoid looking at the worst in things is definitely one of the ways to make the best of things.

Hey Dani!
Great post! I really liked this one :) I like how you keep finding inspiration to write all these posts on positivity!! Keep up the good work miss!

Weez - Sounds like you can really relate to what I'm writing about in this post. As you know, it's not easy to stay positive in these kinds of situations, but I'm going to do what I can to make the most of it while I'm still here AND to find options so I don't feel like I'm trapped. The Power of Now has definitely helped me a lot. I'm sure you'll find it useful too!

Kaushik - Thanks for your comment. I think it's really important to realize that both positive and negative situations come and go and that being still and being at one with what is (rather than what we think should be) is really important to living a happy and fulfilled life. I'm working to become more at peace with my current situation, which I think will help me be better prepared to move on to something that's more creative and fulfilling for me.

Steve - Yes, it is. In general, I have a lot of great things in my life, but having a job that's not what I want to do be doing is very difficult. For this reason, I'm going to try to make the best of it while seeking new opportunities for myself.

J.D. - Absolutely! It can be really hard when things seem bad to look for the good, but my desire to be positive has really helped me out in this situation. I can't say that I'm jumping for joy to be at work right now, but after taking my own advice, I'm a lot happier than I was when I wrote this post.

Diggy - Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. It's hard for me sometimes to write about things that are personal so it's great to get positive feedback on posts like this. It's negative situations like this one that inspire me to think more and more about positivity!

Oh Dani, I've been where you are now for almost two years. I came to the same conclusions that you did, and stuck it out for as long as necessary. I'm happy to report that things are finally falling into place, and I'll be able to make my move in about 3 more months.

Be patient, dear one. When the time is right, you'll know, and you'll leap from the nest and soar like the eagle you are.

I felt like that a few months ago, and I did quit, and I felt so free but then I got really and I mean, R e a l l y scared because of money, rent and food, but then everything started to fall on its place. I do like changes and it gets pretty scary sometimes but we cant live thinking "what if..". I liked this post a lot, good luck to you I hope you find yourself doing all the things that make you happy.

Jay - It's great to hear that someone who has been in the same situation is starting to see the change happening. That's very encouraging for me and I'm going to keep being positive about it. I know if I am, good things will happen!

Victoria - Good for you for taking the plunge and quitting! I'm sure that must have been really scary and it's a very brave thing to do. You've brought up a great point about the big "what if..." idea. If we live our lives always think "what if... [insert negative consequence here]" we'll always be held back. However, if we start thinking about "what if..." in a positive way, we can become brave enough (as you were) to jump into new experiences!

This is a great posting! I definitely felt the same way about my job a few years ago and it took me a looooong time to get up the nerve to quit. It was petrifying, yet exhilarating at the same time. It wasn't an easy decision, nor was it a decision I came to quickly - so I wish you the best on your road to change! Although I'm still in the middle of figuring out "my happy place," I'm definitely in a far more positive place :)

SO sorry you had such an awful experience on your trip. :( But I'm so glad you wrote this post. I have friends and family who need to hear this message. Ultimately we are in charge of our own happiness and making the best out of a bad situation is the first step. Thanks, love!

Eran - Thanks! It's awesome to hear that you were in a similar spot and got up the nerve to quit. I know I can do it once I get a good plan in place. I'm glad to hear that you're in a positive place after making such a big change!

Carolyn - I'm glad you can see the positive here! Even though I had a bad experience, it brought me to write this post, which is actually something I've been needing to do for awhile. I hope you're able to share this with those in your life who might be in a similar situation and help them to see they're not alone. I know it's really helped me to hear from other people who commented and said they were in similar situations. Thanks for the comment!

I understand. I love this job the way that it used to be. But the higher that I got in the organization and the more BS that was added, the less it became the job that I was trained to do. So I'll be glad to retire from this job in 4 months. But I will miss the people a lot. Most have worked in my group for a long time. They are my friends.

Syd - It's definitely tough when you like the people but not what you're doing (as I do). Even though I'm sure you will miss the people at your job, it will be nice for you to retire soon!

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