the snow storm challenge: a lesson on loving change

  (♥)

For the past three days I've been snowed in my apartment, without power and without heat. As you might be able to guess, it's been a true challenge to remain positive and present while I've been shivering and pretty close to being bored out of my mind. But, for the first time in my life, I've tried to see a blackout as a positive thing. I've tried to not focus on the fact that my hands and feet are freezing and that I really do have trouble living without internet and TV and, instead, focus on the positive aspects of being without electricity. Hard as it's been, I've tried to focus on the good things -- on the things I love about the situation. Most importantly, I've tried to love the unexpectedness of this. Of course I'd been aware that it was going to snow, but I had no idea just how much or how it would knock the power out for days. I'd been planning for weeks for a business trip that would now (for me, at least) be canceled. I'd made lists for the weekend of all the things I'd wanted to do. But you know what? A lot of things changed after the lights flickered and the power cut out late Friday night. I had a choice: either be angry and upset or do my best to go with the flow.

 

Even though it was hard for me, queen of routines, lover of plans, to go with the flow, I've done the best I could to make the most of the situation. I've tried my very best to love what was completely unexpected. I don't love change, especially something drastic and tragic like having no power, but I knew it came down to one big question: was I going to love the change or hate the change? Initially I wanted to hate it. I wanted to throw a grown-up tantrum, flinging out phrases like, "This isn't fair!" and "But I don't want the power to be out!" But clearly doing that wasn't going to do me any good. Tempting as it was to be angry, the anger and negativity welling up inside me wasn't going to turn the lights back on or send the heat flowing through the vents -- and it certainly wasn't going to make my snow storm experience any better.

So I decided to do what I could to love the unxpected changes, challenging as some of them were. I attempted to love the things that had suddenly become so different... I made the best of no lights -- hey, more time to read! a candlelit dinner! I made the best of no heat -- let's set up a tent inside and snuggle up! I made the best of limited meal choices -- we don't have to think so much about what we want! we can get creative with our options! I made the best of having no internet -- I can use pen and paper! I can read actual pages!  I made sure to see the positive when I was told I didn't have to go on the business trip -- I didn't want to go anyway and now I can help out from the comfort of my home! Change, especially change like this, is pretty trying on anyone and especially on people who like routines. It was so tempting -- SO tempting -- to think of the negative things. It's hard to think positively when your hands feel like ice cubes and your choice of activities range from board games to reading (much as I love to read, I cannot do it for 12+ hours straight without feeling a little crazy...).

But, hard as it has been to be positive over the past few days, I managed to do it. I managed not only to accept the changes that were happening all around me, but to love them. Having limited options and fewer choices actually made my life easier in some ways. I didn't feel the pressure to work because I had no computer. I didn't feel the need to socialize because most everyone I knew was stranded at home. I didn't have to stress about my business trip because I wasn't required to go. I didn't have to worry about getting enough sleep because, once it got dark, there was little to do but curl up in the tent and try to get some shut eye. Over the past few days I've certainly had some stress, but it's been freeing in a way to love the changes and to realize that sometimes life throws curve balls that aren't always so bad.

For a lot of people, change is a hard thing to like, let alone love. I'm one of those people that looks at change -- especially unexpected change like a power outage during a snow storm -- and wrinkles her nose in disgust. I don't like things that challenge my routines and schedules and I definitely don't like things that make me cold. However, I can honestly say now that I have learned to love this kind of unexpected change. It's given me a fresh perspective from which to view my life and, more than anything, it's given me a big, fat reminder that I should always be grateful. There are so many things in my life -- things that I really love and feel as though I can't live without -- that have been taken away from me over the past few days. I've learned to respect them, to value them, and to be grateful for them. And, in addition, I've learned to be thankful for those things in my life that can't so easily be taken away. There are things like love and hope and optimism that, I've realized, stay with me no matter what.

Unexpected change can be scary, annoying, and a pain in the ass. But it can also be eye-opening and inspiring. It's all a matter of how you choose to look at it. It's easy sometimes focus on the negative when things unexpectedly don't go your way, but the next time you're faced with an unanticipated change that leaves your life a bit unsettled, ask yourself this: do I want to love this change or hate it? One option might certainly be easier, but I can tell you first hand that making the choice to love change this weekend has not only made my day to day life a lot better over the past few days, but it's also made me feel a lot better about myself in general. I've learned through a very real-life situation that I can love unexpected change and make the most of it, something I never really believed was possible.

Yes, I would love to be in my apartment right now, sitting at my desk with the TV chatting cheerfully in the background. Yes, I would love not to be in this god-awful mall food court with my laptop plugged in and children screaming and running in circles around plastic tables and chairs. Yes, I would love it if my hands and toes really felt warm. And, yes, I would love not to be wearing four layers of clothing. But you know what? This is where I am and this is what I'm doing and this is what I'm wearing. This is my life right now and, in spite of the less-than-ideal circumstances, I'm pretty happy because I've faced change head-on, I've looked it in the eye, and I've realized that I actually can love the unexpected twists and turns in life.

How do YOU deal with change? Do you love it?
Does the unexpected (like a snow storm blackout) freak you out
or does the challenge of change excite you?

 

Comments

[Syd]

I have had to deal with ice storms that knocked out power for a few days and a hurricane that knocked it out for 23 days. I have to say that there were some challenges with the latter. I learned to deal with it, knowing that the period of hardship would eventually end. We got to know each other as neighbors in the area where I live. We shared our food from defrosting freezers and what other supplies we had. It was a good opportunity to reach out and to help out. So the changes that have come the hardest are the ones about my behavior. That has been much more difficult to deal with. But it too has come.

[jr cline]

It freaks me out at first and then challenges and excites me. Last week my car broke down in Atlanta and it is still there. At first I freaked out. Then I developed some creative ideas and plans for getting it repaired while I was back at work in another state. Fun times!

[positively present]

Syd - Wow! 23 days! I cannot even imagine. I just got word that our power may go out again because we're expecting more snow and I'm a little anxious about that. It sounds like you really made a positive out of the 23 days you were without power so I'm going to keep that in mind if mine goes out again!

JR - Creative ideas and plans are the way to go when faced with an unexpected situation. It's hard to deal with at first, but it definitely helps to get creative!

[paTrish]

I am happy you still have the opportunity to write and bring a warm (even though you may not be) smiles to my IN box. Snowstorms and blackouts in Upstate NY are not uncommon though we are usually lucky they don't last long. Initially they are annoying though they are rewarding when you a people reaching out to people; shoveling, warmth, food - gas stoves allow some of us able to cook for many others. Winter storms bring people out of hibernation - and helping others always makes the situation easier. Community housing (fire halls, schools, where ever). As I sit here enjoying your writing, I wish I was closer to offer you some hand and foot warmers. Heated (non-popping) corn kernels to cuddle with in your blanket with short feel good novel. Gotto love the powerpack that lets (us) charge the laptop so we can even watch a movie when the evening gets dark and maybe to quiet. Stay warm, safe and keep writiing - sunshine ahead. Cheers.

[Diggy - Upgradereality.com]

Hey Danni!
Wow, I heard about that snowstorm on the radio! So it's really as bad as they make it sound? Damn! Hmm, you can get a lot of blog posts done, even if it means you need to write them out by hand :)

I hope they sort it out asap and connect you back to the grid! It's no fun withour heat or electricity!

Keep well miss!
Diggy

[Walter]

Change is a process the mind hates. This is the reason why most of us resists it. Being creatures of habit, we don't like the idea of having to go with change. Unless we realize the wisdom behind change, we will never discover great things about the beauty of life. :-)

[Amanda Linehan]

Hi Dani - I am also in the midst of the same snow storm that you have described here, although I do still have power and heat (sorry to hear about your freezing apartment!). In light of the new storm headed our way this afternoon and tonight, I started to feel really irritated. I feel like I just dug myself out of the last one! But then I thought, for all the inconveniences, it's also sort of an interesting experience. We don't get snow like this very often so might as well enjoy it while it's here!

[positively present]

paTrish - I was happy to have that opportunity too! Snow storms are definitely a great way to see how people work together and help each other out. It was so wonderful when the power finally came back on (though there's a chance it will go out again with the upcoming storm we're anticipating). Right now I'm trying to make the most of the lights and the warmth!

Diggy - It's been pretty bad, but lucky the power came back on (cross your fingers that it stays that way!) so I'm really enjoying the heat right now. It was a good challenge, but I'm hopeful that it'll be a long time before I have to go without power again!

Walter - Our minds definitely resist change, but you're so right about realizing the wisdom behind change. Once we do that, we can really learn and grow from whatever situation comes our way.

Amanda - Luckily I got the power back! I'm so happy to have it! I've definitely been battling irritation thinking about this upcoming storm, but I'm doing my best to think of it as an experience and to make the most of it. I also realize that everyone in the area is in the same boat. It helps not to feel so alone and to realize that this will eventually pass (hopefully sooner rather than later!). Stay warm!

[J.D. Meier]

Well queen of routines and lover of plans ... beautifully put.

How you look at something makes all the difference in the world. When I bench, if I don't want to feel the pain, then the pain sucks. When I tell myself that the pain is gain, then the pain feels so good.

Surprisingly, limited options is a key to our "synthetic happiness."

[Rocky]

hope everything gets better soon Dani !

loving the attitude =)

[positively present]

J.D. - Thanks, J.D.! I really agree that how you look at something can completely change your world. That's a great point you made about accepting things. Once we do that, even the hard things become easier.

Rocky - Thank you! The power's back on now but we got a lot more snow so keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't go out again. I'm staying positive!

[Carolyn]

Wow I can't believe you've been sans power! Snowstorm is all well and good but no electricity? Don't know how you've been staying warm, but BRAVO for making the best of it! It's so easy for me to get angry at situations instead of just accepting them. After all, getting angry never helps the situation!

[positively present]

Carolyn - Luckily the power came back on but it was definitely a rough couple of days and we just got MORE snow today. It's crazy! I've definitely been tempted to get angry and frustrated, but I've discovered that it's a lot more productive to try and be positive. So far I've managed to stay upbeat... :)

[Anna]

I am so impressed and inspired by how you handle your misfortune!

I first heard about this blog when you mentioned it at the book event for "The Happiness Project." Just wanted to stop by and let you know I really enjoy reading :-)

[positively present]

Anna - Thank you for your comment! It was definitely not easy to get through the snowstorm with no power, but it's made me REALLY appreciate of electricity since then! :) Thanks for reading Positively Present. I really appreciate it.

[Kerry]

Wow, I heard about that snowstorm on the radio! So it's really as bad as they make it sound? Damn! Hmm, you can get a lot of blog posts done, even if it means you need to write them out by hand :) http://www.rapidsloth.com

[positively present]

Kerry - That's crazy that you hear about this one on the radio. It was a pretty big deal! I definitely got a lot of work done, which was a very positive outcome of the storm. That being said, I'm happy it's summer now! :)