"One's destination is never a place,
but a new way of seeing things."
Valentine's Day might be over, but that doesn't mean the Month of Love is going to stop here at Positively Present. Today I want to focus on how awesome it is to see through the eyes of love and how there may be a way to do that without actually being in love. For those of you who have read my blog before, you've probably seen the quote above. I use it often because it's one of my very favorites. It's such a great reminder that, no matter what you think you're seeking in life, what you're really looking for is a new way of seeing things. You might think you want a better job or a better relationship or a better life, but that's only because you believe that having those things will make you see the world differently. Deep down you believe that if you could just get that dream job or fall in love with that hot guy/girl everything would look different and, as a result, every aspect of your life would somehow be better.
Now, before we let ourselves buy into that "someday" way of thinking, let's think about love for a minute, shall we? For those of you who were lucky enough to celebrate the heart-pumping love fest that is Valentine's Day earlier this week, you're likely to be aware that being in love changes the way you see things. Everything that could be a disaster seems to be just fine. Every moment that is good seems like a miracle. It's pretty amazing, when you think about it, what love does to our perspectives. We can become totally different people when we're in love -- happier, more sane, nicer -- because we're seeing everything through a more positive lens. Love makes us see the world differently.
Many people who aren't already in love want to be. And why is that? If they don't know who they want to be in love with, why would they want to be in love? Because of the way it makes them feel -- and the way it transforms the world around them. Being in love, for many, seems like a destination. So many people want to be in love, but one of the main reasons they want to be in love is because they want to see the world through those rose-colored glasses. They want to feel that euphoric sense that everything is going to be alright. They want to have the positive attitude that those in love always seem to have. (Please note: I'm talking about a very healthy, mutually experienced type of love. There are relationships and types of love that are very destructive and not at all positive. In my opinion, that's not real love, but for those who think it is please keep in mind that I'm talking about the kind of love that makes you feel great, that makes you believe you are awesome, and that makes the world seem like a much better, kinder place.)
The other day I heard the song "Like Lovers Do" by Heather Nova and I realized that there really is a different way of seeing the world when you're looking at it through the eyes of love. Check out some of the lyrics from the song here:
"There is a paradise
That can be found
A better life
To bring us round
And all we really need to do
Is see the world
Like lovers do
I want to take it easy
Take it slow
To catch on fire
And let it go
I wanna give myself to you
So we can live
Like lovers do
Like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah, like lovers do
They lose themselves for days
And I need to feel...
I need to feel that way"
It's those lyrics that made me see that, when you're in love, you see the world differently. There's a glow to everything, a sparkling happiness that makes even the most unfortunate of situations seem bearable. Those of you in love (or who have been in love in the past) know what I mean. Things are different when you're in love. They're happier and more full of life and everything just seems like it is bursting with possibility. Of course, as many of us know all too well, you cannot always be in love. Love is fantastic, but it's not one of those things you can just go out to the store and pick up. It's something that happens and, if it isn't happening to you right now, you may want to know just how you're supposed to see life through the eyes of life.
Even if you're not in love, it's very, very possible to see the world like lovers do. I'll admit that it's not always easy and there are probably chemical things going on in your body that you can't create without actually being in love, but you can do a pretty good job of seeing the world through the eyes of love if you just give it a try. If you're in love, you probably already have these steps down, but if you're not and you want to see the world through that I'm-in-love glow, check out the steps below.
5 Steps for Seeing From that "I'm In Love" Perspective
Step 1: Love yourself. People who are in love love themselves. They are excited about the fact that someone else loves them and they learn to appreciate the things that others love about them. Even if you're not in love, you can find the things that others love about you and focus on them. You can always figure out the things you love about yourself and spend some time on those things. Being in love with someone else often makes you fall in love with yourself and that's something you have the ability to do right now. You can love yourself all the time -- even when it's extremely difficult -- and you certainly don't need me (or anyone else!) to tell you how awesome you are. We're all astoundingly awesome, amazingly unique, and we all deserve to love ourselves -- in love or not!
Step 2: Look around you. Those in love are excited by life. Things they've seen a million times before seem novel and interesting when they're showing them to their loved one. But you don't have to be in love to see the world like someone in love does. You can look around, open your eyes, and see the world from a fresh perspective. Sure, this is a lot easier when you're showing it to someone else or trying to see it through his/her eyes, but it's absolutely possible for you to take a new look around and really see what's happening around you. There is so much happening in the world and, if you're anything like me, you probably rush by it all the time. People in love usually take it slow. They look around and do what they can do take in every moment. You can -- and should! -- do this too. You don't need to be in love to savor your moments and make the most of every second you're alive.
Step 3: Smile, smile, smile. When you're in love, you're insanely happy -- usually to the point that you catch yourself smiling for absolutely no reason (or, rather, for the reason that you've started thinking about the person you love). You don't have to be in love to smile all the time. You don't have to be in love to be ridiculously happy. All you need to do is make an effort. It's a simple thing to forget to do, but smiling can make a HUGE difference in your life. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smile at the stranger that holds the door for you. Smile when you're in the car driving and no one else can see you. Smiling is one of those things that can make you feel happier even if you're not really in the mood to do. Sometimes you have to force it, but when you do it can really make your day. Smile, smile, smile because it really will make you look (and feel!) like you're in love.
Step 4: Seek out positives. This seems like it would be obvious (especially coming from me!) but just think about what's it's like when you're in love... You look for the good things in the other person. You look for the happiness and joy around you. Even when situations aren't easy to deal with, you make the most of it when you're with the one you love. You focus on the good even when it seems damn near impossible to do so. And you know what? You can do this any time you want. You can choose to focus on what's positive in your life and in the world, with or without a love story in your life. It's completely up to you and you probably already know that. Love makes the world seem brighter, but you have the ability to turn on that light of positivity any time you want to.
Step 5: Rise above negativity. If you're seeking out the positives already, this step should come easily to you. It's important to be positive, but it's not always enough just to look for the good in life. Sometimes, no matter how hard you look, there is going to be a whole lot of negative. When you're in love, negative things can seem smaller, less significant. Why is that? It's because you're rising above them, soaring to a place that's more positive and, rather than harping on the negatives, you're dealing with them and moving on. And that's what you need to do to see the world through the eyes of love. You have to face the negative situations and then you have to rise above them. In love or not, you can overcome anything if you put your mind to it.
In my opinion, love is one of the greatest things in the world. There is almost nothing like looking into the eyes of someone you love and knowing s/he loves you back. However, that kind of romantic love isn't always available and that's okay. It's still very possible to see the world through those awesome lenses of love. Easy to do? Not always. But it's pretty awesome when you can look around you and realize that you're loving the world just as much as you would be if you were in love. Fall in love with your life and I guarantee you it will love you back!
Do you think the world appears different when seen through the eyes of love?
Do you think it's possible to see the world this way even when you're not in love?