book review: lessons on love

 ( ♥)

"The idea of love is understood by each person
according to their state of mind at the moment,
and often it is founded upon elements
typical of the age in which they live.
For these reasons, the concept of love
can manifest in a thousand difference ways."

 

When I was recently asked to review The Love: Of the Fifth Spiritual Paradigm, narrated by Laura M. George, J.D., I jumped at the chance. Filled with amazing content written by over seventy authors, The Love is a collection of essays, articles, and poems that focus on love in all of its many forms – and, as you probably know from reading my blog, the concept of love really interests me because it is one of the most positive things we can experience. (For more on this, check out the “9 Positive Aspects of Love”.) Love is an amazing thing and it can take shape in so many ways. Some of them are quite obvious – such as romantic love – but others are much more elusive and hard to explain.

For thousands and thousands of years, people have been writing about the topic of love, and when I first cracked open the book, I must admit that I was doubtful that the book – even with its thick volume filled with 400+ pages – would be able to take on all of the various types of love. But as I read through the articles, poems, and essays, I came to realize that, with dedication and thoughtfulness put into the topic, the various aspects of love could be explored on a deep and meaningful level. As I kept reading, I learned more about diverse types of love and it made me see how much love there really is in the world. If you don’t have a chance to read the book, at least take a look at some of the quotes I’ve pulled from it. Below I’ve shared some of my favorites from the book and given you a little explanation of why I think these are the quotes that are so important when contemplating love.

 

Animal Love 

 

"...animals are so very easy to love. And we need things that are easy to love. We need things that can elegantly and safely receive our clumsy, wet-behind-the-ears, and exasperatingly immature human expressions of love." 

For those of you animal-lovers out there, you get this quote. It really speaks to our need, as humans, to love things that will love us back unconditionally, no matter what our flaws might be. Likewise, we often love animals back in the same way. I know that I love my dog with a fierceness that is rarely seen in other parts of my life. She can drive me crazy with her licking and her neediness and her silly OCD-like tendencies, but I love her more than I can begin to describe with words. Though she herself is not particularly elegant, she has that amazing, dog-like ability to elegantly receive all of the love I give to her. She is an outlet for me to express all of the silliest sides of love and, for being that, I love her even more.

The Love contains many great articles on animal love, and one in particular contains “An Animal Manifesto: 10 Reasons to Treat Animals Better.” Whether or not you have a pet, you will be able to relate to this list because it teaches that animals – not just people – are worthy of our love and respect. I really do believe that one of the greatest loves we can experience is the love of animals and anyone who doubts that would learn a great deal from this book.

Family Love

 

"Numerous studies indicate that love is an essential part of a child's upbringing from birth; it helps the individual to thrive, while it teaches the qualities necessary for belonging to a wider community." 

The word “family” can conjure up a variety of emotions. For some, family is the greatest word, symbolic of all that is good and safe and right about the world. For others, family is a word that is synonymous with conflict and strife, headache and heartache. The love of family is something that is so unique to each individual that it’s hard to put into words just what it means in a general sense. When I read the articles about family love in The Love, however, I was impressed by how well the topic was covered.

The topic of family can be a difficult one to address and, for many, love isn’t always at the forefront. However, for those that have a loving family, it is one of the most life-giving and supportive kinds of love available. Family is something that is there from birth. It is something we are expected to love from day one, unlike friendships and romantic relationships that develop over time. The instant love of a family is something that cannot easily be replicated or replaced. It is that love that stays with children throughout their lives, making it one of the most important types of love we can give or receive.

 

Community Love

"Let us also acknowledge that unfettered allegiance -- to state boundaries, cultural constructs, and religious dogma -- comprise the greatest threat to our collective survival. Once we abandon the prejudice and fear which bound our tribal ancestors, we will be ready to experience the joy of true communal life and love." 

The love of one’s community can be both a positive and a negative thing. It is so important to feel part of something, to belong to a group, but it can also mean shutting out others. When we identify with certain characteristics about ourselves or our lives, we have the privilege of being included—but at the price of excluding others. Addressed in this chapter of the book is the love of one’s community and how we can come to understand that community not as a space which we share with others, but as a limitless space that we share with everyone.

As stated in the quote above, if we really want to experience true life and love, we have to abandon our fears and our prejudices. We have to see the world as a place where all deserve love, where we celebrate and enjoy our differences rather than use them to isolate ourselves or one another. It can be a difficult thing to extend love to the world in a general, communal sense. It is much easier to share love with those you know and have chosen to be around. But, in order to truly experience love in its highest form, we have experience communal love.

 

Romantic Love

"Love energizes the soul so that the soul becomes playful, buoyant, and even gets to use its cunning. It knows that every moment can be lived erotically. Passionate living is not reduced to sex... We feel the power of love as we taste it, touch it, smell it, and sense it all. Love and life seduce us."  

When I read these words, written by Dr. Brenda Schaeffer, author of Love's Way and Is It Love Or Is It Addiction?, I knew they would be the ones I would choose to write about in this post. Throughout this chapter of the book there were many, many great lines on romantic love and what its meaning is, but this one stood out the most to me because it took romantic love to a higher level. If you can think back to a time when you were deeply, madly in love (or perhaps you are right now!), you’ll recall that everything in life seems to change. As you may have read in my post, “Seeing Life Through the Eyes of Love,” everything seems different when you’re in love.

Love really does energize the soul. It’s one of those things that can turn everything—even the most difficult situations—into something pleasant and exciting. Love makes us passionate, and not just about the person we are in love with. Love makes us passionate about life. It’s one of the greatest things we can experience and it’s something that can be very, very hard to define. However, as I read through the articles written about romantic love, I found that I came to a greater understanding—and a greater appreciation—of what it means to be involved in love. If you have a chance to read The Love, you’ll find many great articles on romantic love, as well as some great advice, such as the suggestions for romantic soul mates that I found in one particularly well-written essay. Whether you’re in love or not, you probably realize the value of romantic love and I can assure you that there’s some valuable content on the subject in The Love.

Self Love

"To love oneself is a critical step in the assumption of the highest experience of love." 

I’ve written many times on Positively Present about the importance of self-love, which is why I chose this as one of the sections to highlight in this post. It is so, so important to love yourself if you want to experience any love outside of yourself. In order to receive love from others, you must love yourself. In order to give love to others, you must love yourself. It is probably the hardest love to achieve because, generally speaking, we are all our own worst critics, but it is the most important love. It is the highest form of love. And it is the love that will transform into love of all things and all people. If we are able to love ourselves, we are able to love the world.

Another quote from the book puts it like this:"You must have a clear sense of who you are beneath and beyond all of the style and hype. You must love yourself more than the labels and possessions which feed your ego." We are all cursed with egos and we must learn that, if we really want to love ourselves, we must not feed those egos. Instead, we must develop sure senses of self that will override our desire to conform to what we feel we must be. We must love ourselves more than the things we possess or the things that try to possess us. To learn more about how you can start loving yourself now, check out “Don’t Wait for Love: 10 Ways to Love Yourself Now”.

 

The topics I covered in this post are only a few of those written about in The Love. The book deals with all sorts of love and provides readers with a plethora of articles and essays to choose from on every topic. What’s great about this book is that it’s a fantastic resource not just for the topic of love, but for the topic of life. So many aspects are addressed in the book—family, community, self, religion, animals, romance, art, learning, freedom—that it’s hard to read the book without learning more not only about love, but about life as well.

And now I will leave you with another wonderful quote that I read in this book. As you think about love today, remember this: "No love is useless. It is not true that when we abandon or are abandoned by someone we have lost years of our life. That love is certain to have been a teaching, an element that has sculpted us so as to become what we are."

Comments

[Greg Blencoe]

Hi Dani,

Thanks so much for the book review!

While love is often limited to romance, it is very interesting that the book discussed lots of different types of love.

I completely agree with what you said about self-love. It is much more difficult to give love to others and receive love from others without it. Loving and accepting yourself is such an important part of having a happy life.

Regarding family love, I heard the following very interesting observation a few days ago:

You know your life is good when the people in your family are your friends and your friends are your family.

[lucie]

loved this post on love :) love should be embraced by everyone, everyone deserves it.
i was wondering if you would have any advice for a broken heart? unrequited love is the hardest form of love. i'm struggling at the moment to move on with my life and just get over him.

love lucie

[positively present]

Greg - I'm glad you liked the review! It was definitely a great book that touched on all of the various elements of love. There is so much more to love than just romance. That's a great quote about family. I love it!

Lucie - I agree that love is definitely something we all deserve. I actually wrote a post about how to be happy with a broken heart. The thing to remember when you're suffering from a broken heart is that it really does take time. Nothing but time can really heal it. However, here are some tips you might find helpful: http://www.positivelypresent.com/2009/07/behappywithabrokenheart.html. Keep thinking positively!

[lucie]

thankyou so much. keep up the good work. i love your blog :)

love lucie

[J.D. Meier]

I really like the fact it shows a spectrum of love and the various flavors.

I especially like the words you shared for romantic love.

[positively present]

Lucie - Thank you! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy reading the blog!

J.D. - I really enjoyed that part of it too. Love comes in all forms and it's exciting to read about them all in this book. I'm glad you liked the part on romantic love!

[Syd]

It sounds like a good book. Thanks for the review. I think that until I loved myself, none of the other types of love was really present.

[positively present]

Syd - It was definitely a very interesting read and there were so many great articles to choose from. I'd recommend it!