how to see change as a glass half full

 

( ♥)

"Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights."

Pauline Kezer

 

Most of the important milestones in life involve change—school, jobs, relationships, births, deaths. Life is filled with crossroads, decisions, surprises—with change. For many, change is a scary word. It evokes fear or uncertainty. Others thrive on change—seeking it out whenever they feel like their lives are too mundane. Whether you love or loath change, you have to face it. The fact is: you will have to deal with change in your life, but how you deal with it is all up to you.

As someone who has been working on changing her life for the past year or so, I have a pretty good handle on what it means to me personally. I definitely have some first hand experience with change. I’m going through a lot of change myself. In fact, I’m enforcing it on myself these days, encouraging myself to change my life from a negative one to a positive one. As I’ve been changing myself and my life, I’ve learned a lot about change. I’ve not only been through a lot of changes, but I’ve learned a lot about it. As you probably know, change—even the good kind of change—isn’t always easy, but I’ve found that we all have the power to control how we react to change. Yes, we all have the power to interpret change in our own unique ways. And, more importantly, we all have the power to interpret change positively. Each of us has the power to see change—any type of change—as a glass half full. Here’s my three-step plan for optimizing change in your life.

Step 1: Accept What Is.

If you haven’t already read Bryon Katie’s Loving What Is, I would highly recommend that you do so before you dive into Step 1. The book does a much better job of explaining what I’m about to explain here (though I did make an attempt in the post “How to Love Your Life’s Path”). Basically, it goes like this: you have to accept whatever the situation is. You can’t move forward until you’ve accepted what is happening, difficult as that might be at times. If something has happened and you can’t stop it or alter it, you have to accept it. Okay, you don’t have to accept it, but it’s going to make your life a lot easier if you do. Good or bad, amazing or horrible, accept the change in your life for what it is. Try as best you can to leave your emotions out of it. Look at the situation objectively. Ask yourself, as if you are an outsider, “What’s going on here?” No matter what you feel, what you do, what you say, the change has happened or will happen. If you can’t change it (and, in life, there are many, many things that are out of our control), resisting what is—emotionally or otherwise—won’t do anything good for you or the situation. It only creates more pain and distress in your life. The only thing not accepting change will do for you is make the situation harder. In this first step, is important to think objectively and to keep an open mind. Whether you want it to happen or not, the change in your life is what it is. Things happen. Sometimes we’re thrilled. Sometimes we’re not. Whatever you do, do your best to accept the change. Accept things as they are and move on to Step 2.

 

Step 2:  Look for the Good.

Here’s where the glass-half-full philosophy really comes into play. Typically you will look at the bad in a situation (such as, “The theater was so crowded!”) or the good in a situation (such as, “I loved the movie!”) depending on what stands out to you most in a situation. Of course there are always shades of gray (such as, “The movie was great, but I hated how crowded the theater was.”), but when it comes to change, we usually have a very positive or very negative reaction. As humans, we want to label and define things so we describe them—to ourselves and to others (and sometimes differently to various people). So, go on, describe the situation you’re in. But here’s the catch—only describe the good things. Ask yourself, “What is good about this situation?” Think of all of the positive aspects this change in your life will bring you. Yes, even when a situation seems horrible, there are good things you can focus on. You can find the positive in anything. Look at the changed situation. What is good about it? What can you learn from the situation? What can you learn about yourself? Changing your attitude can change a lot. It’s not easy—I certainly know that first hand—but it’s possible. When you’re faced with change, look for the positive. It’s there. Sometimes you might have to look a little harder, dig a little deeper, but you will find it if you look.

 

Step 3: Stay in the Present.

As the author of Positively Present, I’m obviously pretty focused on staying in the moment. You’re probably wondering, “Why would I want to stay in the moment when it’s the change that’s causing me to feel emotionally unsettled?” Great question. When it’s the moment you’re in that’s bugging you, it’s tempting to think that focusing on the past or the future is a good idea, but it’s not. When I’m faced with change, I’m tempted to go back in my mind to the past or to think about the future. If I’m unsettled by change, I often find my mind wondering, “What could I have done differently?” or “What’s going to happen in the future?” Though these questions are interesting, they’re not necessarily helpful. For one, I cannot ever go back and redo or undo anything. For another, I have no idea what the future will hold and how the current change in my life will impact it. Thinking about the past or worrying about the future doesn’t really do anything (other than waste time). However, staying in the present can do a lot for you. If you’re focusing on the present moment, you can deal with the change as it is happening right now. Don’t worry about what might happen; live in the moment. Don’t wonder what could have been; live in the now. It’s not always easy to do, but it really does help to put everything in perspective and helps you to focus on the situation at hand. It’s not my advice to obsess about what’s happening to you, but I would advice focusing on it. Assessing the situation and understanding what you can do about it right now is one of the best ways to accept and interact with the change you’re facing.

 

As you all know, change can be a scary thing, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. No matter what kind of change I’ve encountered—and I’ve had some really great change and some really horrible change—I’ve learned from it. Change makes me a better person, even if I don’t always realize it at the time. Change can be interpreted any way you want to interpret it, but seeing change as a glass half full is the very best way to make the most of any situation.

 

How do you cope with change? Do you see it as a glass half full? 
Is it difficult to see the positive aspects of change? 

Comments

[Eduard @ People Skills Decoded]

The way I see it, if we're walking about change, the glass is more than half full. Whatever the risks of change, it is a positive thing. To see the glass half full is only to be realistic about the nature of change.

[Lance]

Hey Dani,
Being in the present moment is something I think is a real key to making this a lasting way of viewing life. When we are in the moment, and realize how truly great it is to have moments at all...life is all sorts of amazing!!

Awesomeness!!!

[positively present]

Eduard - What a great way of putting it. It's so true. Change, even when it seems negative, really is a good thing because it's pushing you in whatever direction you need to be going in (whether you know it or not!).

Lance - Being in the moment really IS awesomeness. It's still something I struggle with all the time, but whenever I find myself really staying in the moment, it's amazing. Thanks for the comment!

[Pixie @ Pixie Pharmaceutical]

It's easy to be afraid of change but it really is the only constant out there. Life isn't worth living if we don't embrace the change and enjoy the ride. It's how we move forward because tomorrow won't be the same as today.

[Joshua @ How to be Awesome]

''It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty if there are plenty of glasses''

I.e the more opportunities you open yourself up to the more positive change can affect your life. That's the H2BA way!

[Trece]

As one who continually sees the glass as half (or more) empty, Step 1. had the most impact on me. I need to ALWAYS be awake and aware and present. I get so caught up in the rightness/wrongness of things, which often leads to a big wall.

If I will just accept what is, then I can "move tranquilly into the future", based on a realistic assessment of the past.

Thanks so much for taking the time to point this out so eloquently!

[positively present]

Pixie - It's so true that change is the only constant in life and, as you said, if we don't embrace it, we're not really living. We have to embrace change.

Joshua - Really great quote! It's true that there are so many opportunities -- so many glasses -- in life to take advantage of. You definitely inspired me with this comment.

Trece - It can be very difficult to accept things as they are, but once you do this, it's so much easier to see everything as a glass half full. Accepting what is can be very hard to master, but it's so important to do so if you want to live life with your glass half full!

[Shannon O]

This is an excellent post, it's so important to remember that our state of mind and outlook is completely in our control.

[Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey]

Great post!

I especially love the staying in the present tip! It's hard to stay in the present when we're worried about the future and regretting the past. When we make a decision to be happy with our current state of being, then we'll start to see a positive change take place in our life!

[Stephen - Rat Race Trap]

Hi Dani. I think accepting what is, is the ultimate foundation to long-term well being and happiness. The more I ponder this, the more I wrap my mind around it, and the more I practice it the better things get. Well done.

[positively present]

Shannon - Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed the post. And you really got to the heart of it with you comment -- it's our outlook that really is in our control in a world that's full of change.

Jarrod - Thanks! I do my best to stay present because it really does make the biggest difference in my life. It can be challenging to focus on the now, but when I do, I find that I can make it through whatever comes my way.

Stephen - You're so right. Accepting what is is the ultimate foundation for happiness. Unfortunately, it can be really hard to do sometimes, but, as you said, the more you think about it, the more you practice it, and the more it becomes a habit.

[Nailah]

It's so easy to fall into negativity and fear when faced with big changes. I love your point on staying in the present. By focusing on what is happening right now, we can navigate a lot easier through times of change. Great advice!

[Greg Blencoe]

Hi Dani,

After years of trying to swim against the current (with little success!), I have come to realize that you just have to embrace the changes that occur. When a change happens that I am not crazy about, I do my best to ask myself the following qustion:

"How can you make the most of this?"

I've found that this approach helps me the most, so I try to skip fighting the change and move right to this point.

I also have a belief that the universe is conspiring in my favor. Looking back, time after time I have seen things that in the moment seemed to be big disappointments turn out to be blessings in disguise. The universe works in mysterious ways. Therefore, I try to focus on seeing the good in what is happening.

[Ben Weston]

As painful and difficult change can be at times, I've conditioned myself to at least know that it is good for me. Even when I'm emotionally not particularly overjoyed, a little voice in the back of my head always manages to remind me that there was some good that came from, like you mentioned in step 2.

[Chania Girl]

Change is something I've gotten good ... erm, better at since I've moved to Greece because it has been a necessity. Sometimes it's exciting and invigorating, but there are times when I just want things to settle down already ... or go my way. Needless to say, all this practice has also given me a lot of chances to choose my attitude. Most of the time I'm able to see the glass half-full, but there are still some days that it's definitely half-empty. I am lucky, though, that G tends to balance me out in that regard and help me get my perspective back where it needs to be fairly quickly. On another note, I'm still enjoying being back and reading your posts again. It's so good to see you still living so positively presently!

[Topi]

I completely agree, that the first step is to accept the change - like it or not! Before we can deal effectively with anything, we first have to accept it. Otherwise, we just divert our attention, lose focus, waste energy, and nothing happens!

[Motivational Speaker - Craig Harper]

I agree with you on the issue of change.

Do what scares you. Control your fear or it will control you. Within reason of course. I’m not suggesting that you run in front of a truck any time soon, but I am suggesting that you stop always choosing the easy, comfortable, convenient and safe (but ultimately unfulfilling and unrewarding) path. What scares us teaches us.

[positively present]

Nailah - It's definitely tempting to focus on the negative things when change happens, but one of the best ways to stay positive is to focus on the present and not worry too much about what the future will bring.

Greg - You bring up a great question: "How can I make the most of this?" That's really what we need to ask ourselves when we're faced with difficult situations. It's really the best approach and asking this question will lead us in much more positive directions.

Ben - That's a great way to view change. Even when it's hard, it's good for you. We often forget this in the face of change and I'm really glad you brought that point up in your comment.

Chania Girl - It's so interesting how you can become good at change when you have it all the time. As you said, with change we have the choice to choose our attitudes. It can be a challenge to be positive, and it's great to have people in our lives that can help us with that. I'm really glad to have you back as a reader! :)

Topi - Acceptance is defintitely the first (and hardest!) step when it comes to change. If we don't accept it, there's no real way to move forward.

Craig - "What scares us teaches us" -- I love that. It's hard to embrace change and to accept things that seem scary, but those are the things that make us grow and become our best selves. Thanks for sharing your insights!

[J.D. Meier]

Looking for the good is exactly right. If you find yourself always asking yourself, "What's wrong with this picture?", try asking yourself, "What's right with this picture?" ... it's simple, but it works.

[Constant Focus]

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[positively present]

J.D. - You've made the perfect point about changing your perspective when it comes to dealing with change. Asking what's right is SO much more effective than asking what's wrong.

Constant Focus - I'm so glad you like the website. If you're looking for more websites that I enjoy reading, check out the list on the right called "Wonderful Websites." I'm sure you'll find some inspiration there!

[constant focus-april]

Great information! It's really interesting to read. Can you suggest more sites with the same topic?

[positively present]

April - Thanks for your comment! For more sites like Positively Present, check the list of "Wonderful Websites" on the right hand side of this page.

[constant focus]

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