the shadow effect: how to illuminate your hidden self

  

“The shadows are as important as the light.”

Charlotte Bronte

When I was recently sent a copy of The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self, I couldn't wait to dive into the book. After all, who doesn't want to illuminate the hidden power of one's true self? And, c'mon, who wouldn't be curious about what "the shadow effect" is? It sounds so wonderfully ominous. Once I delved into the book, I learned that the shadow is our dark side, the part of ourselves we want to run from or ignore. But, as many of you may already know, running from the side of yourself that causes you pain or suffering only brings about more pain and suffering. The Shadow Effect deals with what it means to have a shadowed self and how we can use that shadow to make the most of what we have the potential to be. 

According to the The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self, "it is only by embracing our duality [of good and bad] that we free ourselves of the behaviors that can potentially bring us down. If we don't acknowledge all of who we are, we are guaranteed to be blindsided by the shadow effect." The book offers up the idea that, if we fully embrace who we are, we'll find that what's inside of us -- both good and bad -- can actually impact our lives positively. This underlying idea permeates the book, but it is brought to readers through three unique perspectives from Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson. The book promises that "after reading this book you will never think of your shadow self in the same way again." And, I have to say, the book kept its promise. 

You might think you don't have a shadow self, a darker side of you, and that you don't need to read a book like this one. But you're wrong. We all have shadows -- things that hurt us, cause us pain, and lead us to be afraid -- and if you take time to understand what it means to have this darker side and to comprehend how you can use both the positive and negative within you, you'll be able to experience a completely different view of your world. As I read in the introduction to the book, "The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered but a fertile field to be cultivated. When we dig our hand into its rich soil, we will discover the potent seeds of the people we most desire to be." 

Now I'm going to go through the book and its three parts a little bit so you can have an idea of what you can learn if you pick up your own copy. The book is divided into three parts: "The Shadow" (Deepak Chopra), "Making Peace with Ourselves, Others, and the World," (Debbie Ford), and "Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness" (Marianne Williamson). 

The Shadow

The book begins with Deepak Chopra's discussion of the concept of the shadow. Chopra writes, "In the fog of illusion [aka, the shadow], we don't even see our worst impulses as self-destructive. They're irresistible, even fun...The shadow exerts its power by making the darkness seem like the light." These lines had me hooked and thinking back to the days when I used to view the world through a negative lens. The shadow of negative thinking can be a strong force and it can take over our mind in such a way that it seems like it's fun. (Just think of so many self-destructive behaviors that actually seem like fun!) Admittedly, I'd been a bit doubtful when I'd opened the book. I was curious about the shadow effect, but I wasn't sure how it could really be applied to me. Reading Chopra's words led me to believe that there really is a shadow within all of us and it's something we must truly understand to move forward positively with our lives. 

Chopra notes that one way the shadow takes shape within us is in the form of projecting, which happens when we feel like we're not good enough so we look around to see what's not good enough in others. Projecting our own insecurities on others results in states such as superiority, injustice, arrogance, defensiveness, blame, jealousy, etc. It is one of the key ways the shadow within us dominates us. What I found most interesting about Chopra's insights on projecting was this: Chopra notes that one of the easiest ways to determine if you're projecting on others is to look for negativity. He writes, "...projection is never neutral. It manifests as negative energy because what it's disguising is negative." When you are experiencing negative emotions towards others, you are most likely projecting your own negativity onto them. Now, I know this is no brand new revelation, but every time I read about this concept, I'm reminded to be more conscious of my feelings towards others. 

In his section, Chopra asks one of the best and most basic questions relating to one's shadow self: "Why is it so hard to let go of negative emotions?" I don't want to give it all away (since you should really check out the whole book for yourself), but Chopra unveils why it can be so difficult to let go of negative emotions -- and how to start actually letting go of them. One of the ones to do this, according to Chopra, is to rebuild you emotional body, a concept I found fascinating and a section I would definitely recommend to anyone looking to rid their lives of negativity. The concept of the emotional body is an intriguing one, especially as it relates to the physical body. Chopra writes, "Every time you feel a negative emotion, your emotional body is expressing discomfort, soreness, fatigue, or pain," and Chopra notes that we should not ignore those feelings of discomfort or pain. 

Chopra, in this section, also provides some wonderful insights on how to let go of negativity and one of the best take-aways from this segment (and the book!) was this line: "You get the emotions you think you deserve." It sounds unfair or maybe even cliche, but it is so true that, if you focus on certain emotions, you will experience those emotions. You must be aware of what you are feeling and learn how to deal with both the positive and negative forces within you. 

Making Peace with Ourselves, Others, and the World

Debbie Ford discusses how we can make peace with ourselves, others, and the world by understanding and addressing our shadows. She writes, "The great Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung tells us that our shadow is the person we would rather not be," and adds, "our shadow is everything annoys, horrifies, or disgusts us about other people or about ourselves... our shadow is all that we try to hide from those we love and all that we don't want other people to find out about us." You may be reading this and thinking, "I don't have anything to hide! I don't have a dark, shadowy self that I hide from my loved ones!" But is that true? Really? Truly? Deep down, are there parts of you that you would rather no one else see? I believe, as Ford does, that all of us have a shadow self within us and, often, we do not deal with these shadowed versions of who we are, but, instead, we choose to repress them. 

Ford writes, "It is our dark side, the repressed and disowned aspects of our personality, that cuts us off our true self...whatever we have hidden away in shame or denied out of fear holds the key to unlock a self that we feel proud of... This is why we must explore our shadow." If we want to know our true selves, we really do have to explore our darker sides. And I could relate to Ford when she wrote, "It is not my light that has led me to wisdom...but my battle with my dark side... It is the very darkness that I spent the first part of my life running away from that is now my passion." It is difficult, as Ford discusses in the book, to come to terms with your dark side, the side of you that you would love to run away from. But the journey of discovering and coming to terms with your shadow "will lead you to find your most authentic self--a place where you feel at home with who you are, where you recognize your weaknesses and your strengths, where you can bask in your gifts, admit to your imperfections, and admire your greatness." Examining your shadow self, as Ford notes in her section, really is essential to living the most positive life possible. 

One of my very favorite passages in the book is featured in Ford's section of the book. From reading this passage alone I learned so much about what it means to have a shadow self and how understanding it is so very important. Ford writes: "The I Ching tells us, 'It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that light will develop out of events, by which they path to success may be recognized.' Only in the presence of an unwavering commitment to facing our demons does the doorway to self-discovery open... To understand our shadow completely takes a willingness to let go of what we think we know." These words are so true and, in the book, you'll find some really great passages and insights on how to understand your shadow self. 

Ford reminds readers of a concept in literature that often applies to real life: "heroes are only as strong as their villains." Our shadows are often repressed in the stories of our lives, but Ford tells us, "if we allow our shadow characters to serve as integrated parts of our whole self -- as colorful, powerful forces for the good -- they will lead us to richer experiences..." As you may know from experience (or perhaps simply from watching some good action films), you cannot fight darkness with darkness and expect to win. (Take it from me -- I've tried this route and I can guarantee you it does not work.) Ford writes, "we can't fight darkness with darkness. We have to find compassion and embraces the darkness inside us in order to understand it and, ultimately, to transcend it." 

Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness 

"We live in a world of constant juxtaposition between joy that's possible and pain that's all too common...We know there is good in the world, but we know there is something else as well," Marianne Williamson writes in this section of the book. Her section focuses a great deal on love and how it is up to us to take what love we have and to expand it not only to those around us, but to the world. She focuses not so much on understanding the shadow that covers some of our selves, but on ridding our lives (and the lives of others) of the shadow. 

One of my favorite lines in Williamson's section is this: The shadow, "like all darkness, is not an actual presence, but is rather the absence of light." According to this way of thinking, the shadow is not the presence of something bad within each of us, but the absence of something good. Personally, I think this is a very interesting way to think about the shadow and its effect on our lives and it was lines like this that left me pulling away from the book and staring out into space, my mind filled with these though-provoking words. 

Williamson also provided more thought-provoking concepts with passages like this one. She writes,"What makes us forget who we are, thus turning off the light and splitting the world into two separate states--love and fear? It is one thought: that someone is guilty. How we deal with human imperfection is the essential question that decides whether we dwell in the shadow or in the light." After reading this, I thought to myself how true it is. Underlying nearly everything we do is the concept of human imperfection and how we deal with that concept really is dependent on whether or not we will choose lightness or darkness. 

Williamson chooses, unlike her author counterparts, to focus more on the concept of overpowering the shadow (with love) rather than understanding the shadow. She notes, "We need to expand our sense of love beyond the personal, to its social and political implications as well. Only in doing so will we cast out the darkness that now hangs like a specter above the world. Living in the darkness, we are living in the shadow. And in the shadow, suffering reigns." She encourages readers to look past the shadow and the darkness and see what love lies there. There is, she believes, an infinite amount of love that can transcend the darkness of the shadow and all of the suffering that comes with it. She writes, "Any thought not filled with love is an invitation for the shadow to enter. We are led to believe in the myth of neutrality: that we don't really need to love as long as we don't actively do harm. But every though either heals or harms." 

Williamson advises, ""In order to avoid the clutches of the shadow, we must constantly reach for the light," and, in a particularly thought-provoking comment, she adds, ""To shadow, the light is an enemy. But to the light, the shadow is nothing. It simply does not exist." When you think about that, the concept of shadow/light is completely intriguing. To the shadow, light is the enemy, but to the light, the shadow is nothing. We therefore, as Williamson encourages, must focus on the light in order to overcome the darkness of the shadow. In the light, the shadow will be nothing. 

As you can see from the passages above, there are many ways of looking at the concept of the shadow, and, to be perfectly honest, reading the book is one of the best ways to fully understand some of the concepts surrounding the shadow and how one can comprehend and overcome the shadow within one's self. If you've ever experienced negativity or pain or hurt or loss, this book is for you. It really provides such great insight into how we can make the most of our lives by understanding the darker sides of ourselves. Yes, I know this sounds unpleasant, but, truly, it's not. It's one of the best ways, in fact, to live a positive life. Toward the end of her section, Williamson writes a few lines about shadows that made me realize how relevant this book is for everyone. She writes, "Every person and every group of people has a shadow; that does not make us bad. It makes us human. The point is not to hate the shadow, for it is simply our wounded places that need to be healed." No matter who you are, you have a shadow. Which means, no matter who you are, you can benefit a great deal from reading this book and uncovering what your shadow effects your self and how you can use your shadow to make the most of the negative and positive forces within you. 

To learn more about The Shadow Effect book (and movie!), visit TheShadowEffect.com. 
To learn more about this book tour and see others' reviews of the book, visit TLC Book Tours. 
To check out the movie trailer for The Shadow Effect, visit YouTube. 
To purchase the book online, visit Amazon or Barnes & Noble. 

Comments

[Lisa@Practically Intuitive]

Hi ... what a GREAT review of the book! I get Debbie Ford's newsletters and they are so intriguing and I am now even more compelled to get the book.

I work with someone who represents my shadow and I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to face it every single day. I know that's why it's there and when she aggravates me, I have to remind myself that the Universe is offering me an opportunity to heal that part of myself that I'd really rather run away from. It is NOT easy work.

There's so much to the whole Shadow concept - so much to unearth (ha!) and bring light to it.

Thank you for explaining it in a way that helps us all understand it just a bit better.

Happy Monday!
Lisa

[Positively Present]

Lisa - I'm so glad you liked the review and felt as if it help to explain the concept of the shadow better. Thanks for reading and commenting! :)

[ABCcreativity]

oh this is wonderful!
i love shadow work. love love love love. it is so powerful and important.

[Phil - Less Ordinary Living]

PP -

This is a simply excellent post. I know I have a super strong shadow sometimes and it was a big help in starting to understand that. I'll certainly be getting the book. Really great stuff - thank you.

Phil

[Positively Present]

ABC - Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked the review of the book. If you liked this post, you'll definitely enjoy the book. You should check it out!

Phil - Thank you! I really enjoyed the book and I think, if you liked what I wrote here, you'll absolutely enjoy the book too. We all have shadow selves and it's important that, instead of avoiding them or feeding them as we so often do, we come to understand and work with them. Glad you liked this!

[Happiness and Wisdom]

I believe that acknowledgement of all that we are is important, but I am not sure about the labels (although find the concept of shadow self thought-provoking). In order to assign a label, we have to judge. We perceive our judgement to be truth, when in fact, it's just our judgement....and our label....there's no inherent truth in it. A friend recently told me about the power of neutrality. Accepting things as they are, without assigning labels - this is key to happiness. I wonder of this book contains similar ideas -- I'll have to check it out!

[Positively Present]

H&W - Thank you for this great comment! You brought up a lot of great issues, especially the concept of judging what is positive and negative. I agree that it's so important to be able to look at things for what they are, without judgement, but I do think that's very, very hard for most people. As a society, we're taught to label and judge, and I think, as a result of that, we learn to have a shadow version of ourselves that is "bad." I'm a huge fan of Byron Katie's "Loving What Is," which really focuses on the idea of accepting things as they are. Great comment! Very insightful!

[J.D. Meier]

> "Why is it so hard to let go of negative emotions?"
I think questions are always the key and I like that. It gets to the heart of why we hold on to something. If we know the concern, we can change it.

[Positively Present]

J.D. - Questions are definitely so important and that one in particular is a great one. It's important to focus on the "why" so that we can make changes where necessary in our lives.

[SN]

wow this post really struck a cord with me. There is a part of me that is unwilling to let go of negative feelings as much a I want to change. Theres a part of me that needs them. I definately project my insecurites on to others and it leads to me pushing people away.

I've been dating a guy who I really like and have been so scared that things wouldn't work out between us that I've almost sabotaged the whole thing. I was negative from the outset, despite me really wanting to be with him, my shadow has dominated me. I've made excuses for myself and blamed him for things not working out as I wanted them to, but its me. Its like im incapable of letting anything good happen to me.

Recently I've felt like giving up attempts to try and make positive changes. But I know that unless I face and accept my shadow for what it is, I will be miserable.

[Diana]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)

It's one of the representative theories that Dr. Carl Jung fundamented.
Cheers,
Dee

[Positively Present]

SN - I'm so happy this post resonated with you because I really got a lot out of reading the book and I was happy to have a chance to share some of what I learned with my readers. I feel like a lot of people (me, included!) project personal insecurities, our shadow selves, onto our lives and ultimately things (like the relationship you referenced) much harder than they need to be. It's hard for most people not to do this, but being aware of the shadow self and working on understanding it and using it to create positive emotions in our lives is a great start. Acceptance is key and I wish you the best of luck with your situation!

Dee - Thank you so much for sharing that link. I'm looking forward to checking out what Dr. Carl Jung has to say about the shadow. I really enjoyed one of the quotes pulled from him in The Shadow Effect so it will be great to learn more. Thank you!

[Rocky]

wow! great post Dani!

I've always read and studied about the shadow and this is a really well thought out and written explanation of it. It's not easy dealing with those parts of ourselves, but we feel so much better afterwards.

[Tess The Bold Life]

Dani,
Haven't read the book yet but love all three authors and have been reading them for years. As a therapist I've also taught that we project our good on others as well. We can say someone is wise unless we are wise ourselves. We can't see someone as compassionate unless we are compassionate.

Now about the oil spill and everyone so upset about it...we are projecting our own greed on BP the President Obama anyone we tend to blame. The answer to the entire mess is to get in touch with our own greed, recognize it honor it and become aware of just how greedy each of us our. An example for our blogging world...who doesn't want more readers, higher stats and eventually income from products.
And when we have 10,000 readers we'll want 20,000 etc. Great review. I have to get it.

Oh and back to therapy I'd tell my clients to understand projection remember "if you spot it you got it."

[Positively Present]

Rocky - Thanks! The shadow is a very interesting concept and the way this book deals with the topic is unique in that it provides three distinct points of view. A great read for anyone interested in this!

Tess - I'm sure you will love this book if you love these authors! I really appreciate your comment. You brought up some great points about projection and how the negative we see in others really is something we possess. We can see that in action in situations like the oil spill and I'm glad you mentioned that. I wouldn't have thought of that, but it's so true. I love the "if you spot it, you got it" concept too. It's so important to remember that and that's a great phrase for doing so. Thanks for commenting!

[Heather J. @ TLC]

I LOVE all the details you provided about each section of the book - it should definitely give your readers a good idea about what they can expect to learn when they read the book. Thanks!

[Positively Present]

Heather - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the review of the book. I really thought it was a great read and got so much out of it. I hope others will pick up a copy and enjoy it too!