relieve big (wedding) day stress: 14 tips to get you through

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This Saturday my little sister is getting married. After over a year of waiting for the big day to arrive, it's hard to believe it's almost here. I couldn't be more excited for her big day and all of the festivities that come along with it, but, as those who have been in one, had one, or been anywhere near one know, weddings are a lot of work and a lot of work typically means a lot of stress. For me, the maid of honor, things have been pretty good. Mostly I've had to attend events, look nice, smile, and occasionally make some plans for my sister, but generally it hasn't been too much stress for me. However, I know that isn't the situation for all maids-of-honor or those involved in weddings so I've put together a list of idea for relieving the stress of a big day. Whether it's a wedding or a graduation or any other big event, no matter how much excitement there is surrounding it, there's always bound to be an element of stress. Here are some ideas of how to cope with big day stress. 

Tips for Dealing with Big Day Stress

• Get lots of sleep. This seems obvious, but anyone who is facing a big day knows how hard it can be to sleep the night before. Whether it's excitement or nerves keeping you up, it's important to find a way to get some quality rest before the big day. 

• Eat a healthy breakfast. When you're stomach's filled with nervousness, it can be hard to rationalize the benefits of a healthy breakfast, but truly it's the most important meal of the day. Skipping it could lead to feeling weak all day so make sure to grab some grub the morning of! 

• Don't procrastinate. Leaving things to the last minute is a surefire way to cause you to feel panicked. When you're preparing for a big day, try to get as much done ahead of time as possible so you don't have to spend time worrying and fretting over the little things. 

• Ask others for help. No matter what you're facing in life, asking for help is always a good thing. Many people are afraid to ask, but when it comes to a big day, don't be. Asking for help is a great to make sure everything gets done and it cuts way down on stress. 

   

• Take a time out. Once the big day has arrived, it can be so easy to get swept up in everything that you forget to take a break to just be with yourself. No matter what your role is in a big day event, it's always helpful to take a little break -- even just a few minutes -- to help relax yourself. 

• See the big picture. In the midst of big day festivities, it can be hard not to examining all of the details and focus on the tiny things. But if you take a step back and look at the big picture (in my case, a life of love for my little sis), you'll have a much better perspective when it comes to the day's little mishaps. 

• Do something relaxing. If there are a million things to be done for a big day, it seems like it would be crazy to take some time to relax, but that's exactly what you need to do to make yourself more productive. Plan a spa visit, take a walk, meditate -- do whatever makes you feel at ease!

   

• Stay organized. Disorganization is one of the main reasons things can fall to pieces on a big day. If you make an effort to stay organized beforehand, you'll be facing much less stress on the big day and you'll have more time to enjoy all of the festivities taking place around you. 

• Deal with your emotions. Big days can come with a lot of emotional baggage and, instead of ignoring or avoiding your feelings, be sure to be attentive to them and recognize them. You are entitled to feel how you feel and if you don't allow yourself to experience your emotions, they'll most likely get the best of you. 

• Take deep breaths. There's usually some sort of mini-crisis when it comes to big days and it's important that, when faced with such a situation, you take deep breaths. Take a minute or two to breathe and get your mind to a place where you can think clearly. Then react. 

• Think positively. No matter what goes down on the big day, it's so, so important to think (and speak!) positively. Quite a few people will probably be in high-stress mode and it is extremely helpful to have someone (like you!) around to see the positive in every situation. Look for the good -- no matter what. 

• Have a back-up plan. A great way to really cut down on stress for the big day is to have a back-up plan. If you're not 100% focused on only one way to do things and you're open to options, you'll be a lot less stressed if something goes awry. Be prepared and keep your options open. 

   

• Consider other people. It can be very tempting to get caught up in your own situation when it comes to the big day, but take a step back and consider other people and how they might be reacting or feeling. If you do this, you'll be a lot more compassionate of others (and a lot less likely to focus on the "me" aspect of stress). 

   

• Enjoy the moment. Most importantly, the best tip I can offer is to live in the moment. No matter what's going on during the big day, keep in mind this phrase: "This is it." Most likely, there won't be another big day like this one so take it all in, soak it all up, and be sure to enjoy every single moment. 

 
Even with all of the planning in the world, there are bound to be situations you just cannot predict when it comes to big events. With all of the little puzzle pieces of the day to be put in place, it's no surprise that sometimes a piece or two goes missing. But remember: that's okay. The big day doesn't have to be perfectly flawless to be amazing. The key when it comes to big events is making the most of them -- and that's exactly what I plan to do at my sister's wedding. I plan to make the most of whatever comes my way and focus as much as I can on making sure her day is her dream wedding day. No matter what comes along, I plan on doing whatever I can to make her day as amazing as it can be. 

No matter what kind of big day you have planned, there's bound to be a bit of stress involved. Remember these two things: (1) it's normal to have stress on a big day, and (2) you can manage your stress, no matter how unfathomable that might seem. As I talk about often on Positively Present, you have the power to control how you react and what attitude you choose to have. Whenever you're faced with a difficult or stressful situation, remind yourself that you can choose, at any time, to be positive. That choice can get forgotten when things are hectic and people seem to be panicking and nervous, but it's always there. Choose to be positive and whatever you encounter -- a last minute cancellation, a nervous bride, or a M.I.A. bridesmaid -- you'll be able to handle it. 

 How do you handle big day stress? What tips can you add to this list? 
And, any last minute advice for this maid-of-honor? 

Comments

[Topi]

Have a back up plan is incredibly important - I had a few things that didn't go to plan on my wedding day, and being able to fall back on plan B was very comforting for all involved. But as you've said, enjoy the moment is by far the most important rule on the day. It goes incredibly quickly, so if you haven't savoured every moment (the planned, and the unplanned ones) then it will just pass you by. I hope you all have a wonderful day full of fantastic memories. And, I hope we'll see some photos??? Enjoy.
Topi

[Mark]

Great tips on how to mitigate big day stress. The one I always struggle with is asking for help. Being flexible is probably the biggest thing you can do when anticipating a big day.

[Rocky]

aww this is awesome! one of my best friends just got married about a month ago and it was quite surreal!

Good Luck to your little sister and her future husband !

[positively present]

Topi - I agree that having a Plan B is really, really important. It's good to know that you had one and you were able to fall back on it on your big day. Thanks so much for the wishes for fantastic memories! I hope we have them too!

Mark - Thanks! Asking for help can be hard for a lot of people, but it can be really essential on a big day when there are so many things to do. Great point about being flexible! I'll keep that one in mind.

Rocky - Congrats to your friend! And thank you so much for wishing my sister luck! I'll pass that along to her. :)

[Clearly Composed]

Great ideas there. I love that you mentioned asking for help.People want to help make your day special but they can't be mind readers. Graciously asking for what you need not only alleviates some of your stress but allows others to contribute in a meaningful way.

[Joshua Noerr]

When I was fighting professionally, this was a constant thing. Fight day was the culmination of a lot of a whole lot of work, but it was also very stressful as you could imagine.

I would constantly reinforce the mindset that I wasn't nervous, I was excited. That made a huge difference.

I would also get with my coaches and team mates and do some activities that would get my mind on absolutely anything else.

[Becca]

this is a great list for any situation. Great reminders!

[positively present]

CC - Thanks! I'm glad you liked the ideas. And I'm all for asking for help. It can be really hard to do sometimes, but it makes a big event go a LOT smoother.

Joshua - Yes, I imagine that fight days would have been particularly stressful and you'd want everything to go well. Great point about focusing on excitement instead of nerves. Also, as you noted, distraction can be a great way to rid yourself of nervous energy!

Becca - Thank you! I'm glad you liked the list!

[Sibyl-alternaview]

Great post and list of suggestions to manage through any big event. I think you suggested everything that will really help to not allow things to get out of control. It is amazing what the mind can do and convince you that something is going to go wrong and as you suggested, we really do need to put things in perspective. I particularly appreciated what you said about living in the moment. I think that is a great piece of advice because we have a tendency to get caught up in all the activities and things that are moving at lightning speed, and then we look up and totally miss what has happened and the beauty of the experience. I think reminding yourself as the event is going on to really experience and appreciate the moment is so important. Great list and suggestions.

[positively present]

Sibyl - Thanks so much for your comment. The wedding day ended up going really well and a lot of the time I found myself thinking back to this list, especially the part about keeping things in perspective. That really helped me make it through and also helped me to focus on the moment rather than worrying about the future or the past. Thanks for stopping by PP and commenting!

[J.D. Meier]

Seeing the big picture is my favorite way to get a lens on the situation and make my best moves.

[positively present]

J.D. - Yes, that's one of the best ways to get a good perspective on the situation and move forward with it. Thanks for the comment!

[Syd]

With each day I focus on what I have to do and take First Things First. I also set aside time for prayer and meditation. I know that I can do something for a few hours that would be too much if I had to do it for a life time. These are things that help me get through stressful situations or just an average day.

[positively present]

Syd - First things first is a great motto. Dealing with one thing at a time can be an excellent way to relieve stress, even during a big day. Thanks for your suggestions!