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Lovely post. I definitely agree that some of life's most awful people are hateful because they do not know how to love themselves. I believe that narcissism too, stems from an inability to love one's self. It is a dysfunctional attempt at true self love. Thanks for this! Be loved today!

Rachel - Thanks so much for the comment. I really appreciate your input, especially on this topic, which so many people may want to disput. You bring up a good point about how narcissism is a dysfunctional attempt at self-love. That's so true and I've never thought about it that way before. Thanks for sharing that insight!

Oh you are so right. It is benefical for others if we practice self-love. Self-love is a toughy, especially for women. We are told constantly by the media that we need to be thinner, prettier, dress better. The constant barage of "fix yourself" that we forget to love ourselves for who we are. Our relationships with everybody improve when we come into love with ourselves. Thanks for this loving post:)

Dandy - Self-love is definitely hard for a lot of people and the media certainly doesn't help. It's so tempting to think you have to be better than you are with all of the images promoting that idea, but the more you love yourself, the happier and more positive you'll be -- and you won't need things/fixes to be a better you! Glad you liked this post!

Thank you for your kind and inspiring words. Everything you said resonated quite strongly with me.

Loving oneself makes it possible to interact with others from a place of calm and giving, instead of desperately needing to be loved by others, and reacting aggressively when such love is not given freely.

"The distance from another is the distance from ourselves." - Richard Moss


For me, I'm so used to putting the needs of others before my own,that I don't know how to truly love myself. It's something that I'm working on, ever since I embarked on my self improvement journey and realized that in order for me to love anyone else, I had to love myself first.


Jonas - You're welcome! I'm glad you were able to relate to this post. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on loving oneself. It's such an important topic to me and I really appreciate hearing from readers like you. (And thanks for sharing the quote too!)

Michele - A lot of people are in the same boat that you are. They have spent so long putting others needs first that they don't even know where to start when it comes to loving themselves. Hard as it might seem sometimes, remember that when you put yourself first, you're actually making things better for those around you. I'm so glad you've embarked on a journey that is leading to you self-love!

No I do not think self love is selfish.You have outlined it wonderfully in this article.It really hits home to me. Thanks!

Great post and I like Rachel's thoughts on narcissism as well. Those types of people can be so draining on others.

It took me a while to realize that if I did things for others that truly didn't make me happy, but only did them to be nice or b/c they are a friend..I was really cheating myself b/c I didn't fully feel good about it (going to a party or somewhere as an example). Sometimes you don't even realize you are putting others before yourself..and it takes a situation to happen to wake you up, then you have to not feel bad about choosing yourself when you do. In the end..it really is for the best for everyone. Any who thinks self-love is selfish, clearly needs to look deeper into themselves first.
Thanks Dani!

Derrick - Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this article and that it hit home for you.

Saggleo - That's a great realization. When you do things for others that make you unhappy, you're cheating yourself -- and you're cheating others as well. As you said, it can be hard to realize sometimes when you're putting others first, but it's an important thing to focus on. Thanks for your comment!

I always come away from your blog feeling enlightened.

I'm hoping you might want to check this out: http://acommunityartproject.blogspot.com/2011/02/project.html

Phoenix - I'm so glad to hear that! I makes me happy to know that you find Positively Present enlightening. I just checked out your project and its great! What an inspiring idea!

That is positively inspiring! I've always said you must love yourself before you can love someone else, but people have always seen that as the worst trait in myself! However after reading this I know it's not a selfish thing. To be a better person to others I need to believe the good in me. Thank you!

Emma - Like you, I've heard that my self-love tendencies are selfish. But I really believe that putting yourself first is the best way to love other people! Believe how awesome you are and you will be a much better person for everyone around you.

I needed this to convince my mind that loving myself is not selfishness at all ... And i know it...but everytime i try to think about myself and feeling good about me.... It lasts for very short time like 2and 3 days ..after that it becomes as normal as i think negative about my self..so what does it means...?!

Chinmay - Loving yourself is definitely not selfish, but it can take some time to come to terms with that. You have to keep reminding yourself how great you are and do whatever you can to help the positive thoughts outweigh the negative ones.

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