(♥)
Today's post was written by Judy Clement Wall, a fellow blogger who is putting the final touches on her novel, Beautiful Lives. She blogs about the perils of life, love, writing and cheesecake at Zebra Sounds. And you can also follow her on Twitter. Today Judy's sharing with us some tips on how to love yourself -- even if you feel like you're too busy to take the time to really dive into self-love. Her tips are easy, accessible, and worth giving a try.
On January 5th, I publicly declared 2011 my year of loving fearlessly. I do that. Publicly declare. It’s a way of inviting the universe to help me toward my goals.It’s been one (exhilarating, astonishing) month since I made that announcement, and my love project has a momentum all its own. It’s becoming a big, beautiful monster of a creation, and most of the time I feel I am more holding on than actively steering its course.
So I guess it makes sense that I’ve become preoccupied with love. It’s like I’m excavating it, uncovering love, one impulse, one gesture, one meaningful connection at a time. Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a lot of conversations about what love is, how we long for it and run from it, fight and surrender to it, celebrate and resist it. Love is complicated. And simple. And heartbreaking. And miraculous.
I think maybe out of all the loves in the world – familial, romantic, platonic, unrequited, unconditional, unexpected – the most complicated of all is self-love. It shouldn’t be. I mean, there’s only one person involved. It should be the easiest love of at all, but it’s not. No one knows our faults better than we do. No one judges us more harshly. And even if we can get past all our glaring imperfections, self-love feels, well, selfish, doesn’t it? In the course of our busy lives, there is so much to do and so many people to tend to. Who has time for self-love?
But the truth is we do have time. We must. We live in a fast-paced, info-packed, high-octane society where locating our own significance is sometimes the biggest challenge of all, and feeling lost in the jostling crowd is the norm. The least we can do in the midst of all the crazy is show ourselves a little tenderness. And It doesn’t have to be elaborate or time-consuming. I made a list of five things even insanely busy people can do to feel the (self) love.
5 Ways to Feel the (Self) Love
1. Hug someone. The excellent thing about hugs is that they are as good for the hugger as they are for the huggee. Research shows that hugs lasting at least six seconds optimize the flow of mood-boosting chemicals.
2. Send a text. My Love Project started with a text I received one day when I was cold and frustrated and bitchy. “Judy, you are beautiful,” it said, and just like that, my mood was transformed. I grinned. I felt loved. I texted back, and my friend felt loved too. It’s a lot like a hug; the love flows both ways.
3. Give yourself a guilt-free pass. For fifteen minutes, give yourself permission to eat something delicious, read something funny, daydream, doodle, wander… guilt free.
4. Write a letter to yourself. Let you know you care.
5. Breathe. Stop. And. Breathe. And in that space between inhale and exhale, love the imperfect, beautiful, messy, magnificent jumble-of-awesome that is you.
Judy Clement Wall is putting the final touches on her novel, Beautiful Lives. She blogs about the perils of life, love, writing and cheesecake at Zebra Sounds. You can also follow her on Twitter.
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. I think it is way too easy to justify not loving ourselves. I'm so glad that others are speaking out for how vitally important it is to our lives and the lives of those we love. It's so funny how when we take time to love ourselves it touches the lives of others at the same time. Just like a hug. It's beautiful.
Posted by: Melanee Dahl | February 22, 2011 at 02:36 PM
Thank you ! I needed this!
Posted by: Yasi | February 22, 2011 at 05:53 PM
Melanee - So glad you liked this guest post! It can be really hard to love ourselves sometimes and I really think Judy's article helps us to realize that there are many simple ways we can love ourselves.
Yasi - You're welcome! I'm glad I was able to share Judy's post with you. Thanks for reading Positively Present!
Posted by: positively present | February 22, 2011 at 06:06 PM
j, as usual, you nailed it. It's much easier to love others when we take care of the self love first.
Your list of suggestions is great because a) they work and b) they are all easily doable.
Rock on!
Posted by: Kellie | February 22, 2011 at 07:13 PM
Kellie - Thanks for your comment on Judy's post. I definitely agree with the A and B points you brought up. Those are exactly why Judy's advice is so great!
Posted by: positively present | February 22, 2011 at 08:32 PM
I love hugs! They always make me feel better.
Posted by: Molly | February 23, 2011 at 11:18 AM
Love this guest post! Thanks Judy and Dani! The "little" things like a hug or a text (or email) of hello just thinking of you...are sometimes the best things...and better than the "big" things.
I'm going to get started on that letter to myself! =)
Posted by: Saggleo | February 23, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Molly - Me too! It's a simple act, but a powerful one!
Saggleo - You're welcome! I'm glad I was able to share this guide with you and other Positively Present readers. It's been great to feature Judy's words of wisdom here.
Posted by: positively present | February 23, 2011 at 03:29 PM
Dani, thank you for inviting me to do this. It's been wonderful and so are the comments. (And Saggleo, I'm going to get started on my letter too. Time to walk the walk.) ;-)
Posted by: j | February 23, 2011 at 07:42 PM
J - You're welcome! Thanks so much for adding to this month of self-love on Positively Present!
Posted by: positively present | February 23, 2011 at 08:35 PM
After immersing myself in my goals for 2011, I realized I couldn't go any further in life without more self-love. So I welcome tips, especially for insanely busy people.
I esp. love the parts about the guilt-free pass and writing a letter to yourself. Thanks for this oasis of self-love in a busy day.
~ Milli
Posted by: Fearofwriting | February 24, 2011 at 07:22 PM
Milli - Thanks for your comment. It's great that you've come to a point in your life that you can really focus on self-love. It's so essential to whatever goal you are hoping to the accomplish. I'm glad this guest post was helpful for you on your self-love journey!
Posted by: positively present | February 24, 2011 at 08:34 PM
Wahoo. Spreading the Love all over. Since I don't text I will thing of #2 as send a message using e-mail, tweet, even FB if that is how it works. #5 so important. I had to remember #5 today.
Thanks, for having J here.
Posted by: Terrepruitt | February 25, 2011 at 03:35 AM
Terrepruitt - Great ideas! Any way you can send love to yourself is a awesome. Thanks for sharing your ideas and stopping by to read Judy's article.
Posted by: positively present | February 25, 2011 at 06:53 AM
I love all the places love is taking us this year...
without loving ourselves we truly can not love others...
as we open our hearts to ourselves
we open them to the world
thanks to you and Judy and all those who inspire us all to be a fearless with our love
Posted by: LunaJune | February 25, 2011 at 09:06 AM
LunaJune - Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! Such a good point that without loving ourselves we cannot truly love others, which is why self-love is so important.
Posted by: positively present | February 25, 2011 at 07:19 PM
It's weird how we more often than not forget about loving ourselves and putting ourselves first.
Love your suggestions, J, thank you for sharing and reminding us that it's worth investing into loving ourselves - happy people can make other people happy.
Posted by: Estrella05azul.wordpress.com | February 27, 2011 at 08:59 AM
Estrella - Thanks for your comment. It's so true that happy people make other people happy so it's so important to love ourselves so we can spread the love to others.
Posted by: positively present | February 27, 2011 at 09:41 AM