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2012: so much to do, such things to be

so much to be()

I'm afraid of 2012. 


No, I don't think the world is going to end. In fact, I think my world is just beginning. And, oddly enough, that's more intimidating than the end of the world. I am excited by all the possibilities of this year -- starting my career as a writer, the dream I've dreamt for a lifetime finally coming true. But no one ever tells you how terrifying a dream-come-true can be. No one ever tells you how scary it is when your lifelong wish is only a few weeks away. 

It's so different when a dream is far in the future, when it's just a goal you hope you will reach, a star you're always aiming for. But when it draws near -- when all you've wanted is slowly becoming a reality -- that's when the fear creeps in. That's when some tiny little creature in the back of my mind squeaks: What if you're not enough? What if you fail? What if the risks you're taking aren't worth it? What if...? That's when things start to get real

I've lived a lot of my life in fear. I've always wanted to be a writer. So why is it just now that I'm becoming one? Why have I allowed myself to settle into a career that didn't fulfill my lifelong goals? Because I was scared. I was scared to push myself, to challenge myself. And, in all honesty, I'm still scared. But now I'm even more scared of looking back on my life and wondering what it would have been like if I'd taken risks, if I'd pushed myself, if I'd done whatever I possibly could to live a life I loved.

I'm incredibly fortunate to have the support of my family, friends, and my amazing boyfriend. I wouldn't stand a chance without them standing behind me. But I'm scared of letting them -- and myself -- down. I'm scared that at this time next year I will look back and wonder what the hell I was thinking. (Not very positive of me, huh?) 

That squeaky little voice in my head is whispering what ifs, reminding me of all that could go wrong. That little voice is fear. That little voice has been holding me back and this is the year I will silence it. 


This year I'm making only one resolution: to let go of fear. 

There is so much I have wanted to do and not done. 

There is so much I have wanted to be and not become. 

This year I will do. This year I will be.


I'd recommend you do the same. 2012 may not be the end of the world, but it's another year passing. Another year to do what you've always wanted to do. Another year to be who you have always wanted to be. Don't waste any more time with fear. Silence those voices telling you what you cannot be. As Liz Taylor said, "So much to do, so little done, such things to be..."


2012 will be my year of doing, of being. Make it yours too. 

Comments

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hi Dani,
I discovered your blog a few months ago and I love reading it. Not only because I do need the "positive thinking" after a difficult year, but because I love the way you write. I am really pleased to read that your writing dream will come true and I'm sure you will succeed.
Reading your post today, I know exactly how you feel about the fear. I've been through the same thing, not about writing but about drawing. I finally had the guts this year to "push those doors" and discovered a whole new world behind and surprised myself with what I can achieve.
so go for it, don't be scared. If it's a lifetime dream, you will achieve amazing things because you will write with all your heart. And you won't let your family down. They will be so proud of you when you succeed, yet they will be here for you too when things are tough (there is always a tough moment, but it only makes us stronger).
Wishing you a wonderful 2012.

Isabelle - Thank you so much for your comment. It means so much to me to read what you wrote and to know that there is someone out there who is so supportive of me. Thank you! It's also great to know that I'm not alone in the way I feel. Good luck with your drawing. Don't let fear hold you back from doing what you love. Life's too short!

Hi there, just discovered your blog the other day when someone linked to your 2012 planner (awesome, btw!) Anyway from one self-employed gal to another, I wanted to tell you what I've learned in the year and a half since giving up my safe day job: We ALL feel extraordinary fear that things won't work out. The trick is to feel that fear but give it your unbridled best anyway. Don't hold back because of the fear because that will most likely just ensure your fear comes true. Oh, also, expect hard days... the hardest days of your whole career. The ups and downs you experience are much more magnified when you've got everything on the line. So the downs... they really suck. But the ups are pretty awesome and rewarding, so push through :)

Hi there! :D I felt like were the same person as i'm reading this post (but its nursing in my case) :) and i really feel the same way as you do. Let's both challenge ourselves and let go of our fears. :)I wish you the best year ahead!

Laura - I'm so happy you discovered the site! And thank you so much for sharing your advice on self-employment. I'm not looking forward to the down days, but I have a feeling that ups will make them worth it. Thanks again for sharing your advice!

Zy - It's awesome to know that you connected with what I wrote here. It's not easy to let go of fear, but I think we can do it in 2012! Here's to a fear-less year!

You have a great way with words, and a real ability to express yourself clearly and honestly. You will rock it! Sometimes when I feel the doubts and scary thoughts closing in I crank up some old music that is both dorky and inspiring (at least to me!). Good luck in the year ahead, I look forward to watching your success unfold!

Thanks so much for that post. What a lovely way to start the year! I've often thought about all the things that I would like to do, but haven't thought about all the things that I would like to BE. I think I'll make that my focus for the year too.
Sarah

LOVE THIS POST!

Bonnie - Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support and encouragement. Music is definitely a great way to chase doubts away. Thanks for reminding me of that.

Sarah - You're welcome! I'm so glad this post inspired you to think about the things you'd like to be in 2012.

Kym - Thank you!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! You did it again...we are sooooo "here" (insert two fingers to eyes move). LOL! I think it's great you are going for your writing dream full steam ahead - I think you are obviously off to a great start, and so clearly talented! I wish you the best of luck and can't wait to see you kick some success behind!

I'm also letting go of fear (and a few other things) but fear being the big factor this year. I'm going to live the life I dream of and go for it - with my photography - so that I don't look back and regret not at least giving it a real shot.

Here's to a great 2012 for all of us!

great post, I am totally with you on this, please keep us posted on how you are letting go of fears. I need ideas.

Reka

Saggleo - Happy New Year to you too! Once again, I'm so happy to hear that you and I are on the same page and you could relate to what I wrote. Hearing that always makes me feel less alone. I'm with you when you wrote: here's to a great 2012!

Reka - Thank you! It makes me so glad to know that you could relate to this as well. I'll definitely keep you posted on my progress and on any fear-busting tips that I pick up along the way.

I am a frequent visitor of your blog and you always touched my heart with your posts. And Now, I can't help myself but to express it through this comment. I can feel you and I feel your heart everytime. You always, always have a way with words.

Very beautifully written.

Jade

Jade - Thank you so much for reading - and for taking the time to comment. It means so much to me. Reading your comment made me feel so happy (and inspired!) so thank you, thank you, thank you!

Hi Dani,
I commend you for having the courage to face your fears, or as I like to say "face and embrace." I find that the more we can separate the object facts from the nightmares our imaginations script for us, the less hold our fears will have over us. In fact, they will begin to dissolve as we take positive steps based on the objective facts. In your case, you have established a very insightful and appealing blog which has a loyal following and in which you have repeatedly demonstrated your writing talents. Now you are simply taking the next indicated step: becoming a professional writer.

Dani, I want to thank you again for the favorable review you gave my book last March (which addresses fear as "fiction's best seller.") It really helped!

All the best,
Danny

Danny - Thanks so much for sharing your insights on fear. You're so right about it being fiction's best seller. So tempting to read it and everyone else is reading it, but that doesn't mean it's any good. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They really mean a lot to me. If there are any other books you'd like me to review in the future (and I'm sure there will be!), just let me know!

Fear is a shape shifter that transforms to fit in well even in the most wonderful circumstances. This past year I found myself very close to my dreams and my biggest fear became "what if I don't live up to the all the potential that's right in front of me?" I felt like I was in a position to do anything, and I was suddenly afraid that I'd mismanage my opportunities and find myself right back where I was a year before. Fear takes on some of the oddest shapes sometimes, doesn't it!? Congratulations on being so close to your dreams! :-)

Breanna - Yes, fear can definitely be odd - and it holds us back way too often. I hope your dreams are coming true!

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