Lately I've been struggling with fear a lot (see here), and it's been so wonderful for me to find inspiration from people who really seem to know how to overcome fear. Tess Marshall, creator of The Bold Life, is one of those people and she's been gracious enough to share her wisdom here. Take it in because it really is life-changing.
Fear is an illusion that we buy into and believe in, simultaneously forgetting about our strengths, brilliance, and resilience. We give fear so much power that we forfeit our dreams to avoid the emotional pain of rejection, criticism, embarrassment, and other external circumstances beyond our control.
Most of our fears aren’t justified or rational. For example, my daughter Kara is a flight attendant. I don’t fear for her safety because I can’t justify it. It’s been proven that air travel is safer then cars. Another one of my daughters texts and drives. I do fear for her safety, it is a rational fear because it’s dangerous. I’ve talked to her about it and I pray for her. I let my fear go because she is an adult. It’s her problem. I can’t justify holding on to my fear.
What stands between you and the life that you want are your fears. Fear of rejection, looking stupid, living alone, or going broke, are common fears that you can learn to rise above. Read the following tips on how to overcome fear and live the life you deserve.
How to Overcome Fear + Life the Life You Deserve
Do something brand new. Be a beginner. Be open to the different and the difficult. Push yourself. Follow someone’s lead. Ask questions. Try. Fail. Try again. Fail again. Succeed.
Focus on what needs to be done. Take small calculated steps to get to your end goal. Don’t give your fear attention or energy. Let it die a slow death. Build your courage muscles one action step at a time.
Let go of what you don’t want and visualize what you do. Stop running negative images in your mind of bad things happening. Create the image of the outcome you want and dwell on it. Work towards it. Each time you feel fearful replace it with your image of success.
Take your fear to the gym. When you are stuck in fear and feel paralyzed by negativity, get active. Lift weights, run, or walk off your fear. Move physically. Motivate yourself with a play list of positive songs
Use affirmations and quotes. I write down positive quotes and affirmations on index cards and put them in my car, bathroom, bedroom and kitchen. It only takes a few minutes to see things differently and change my calm my emotions.
Release attack thoughts and negativity. We project our own negativity and fear when we get caught up in drama and become envious of the success of others. Somebody else’s success has nothing to do with yours. Focus on taking action on your own behalf. Choose to be happy for people who get what you want. Learn to say and mean, “Good for them.”
Change your perception and change your story. Stop doubting yourself. Become aware of the stories you tell yourself about your self-worth, intelligence, strengths, and possibilities. Own your greatness. Create stories that resonate with the beautiful person you are. No one else can do it for you.
Create new expectations. Expect to succeed. Tell yourself things are going well. Know that people want to help you. Spin new stories about the future. You have a choice. You can expect the best or the worst. Why wouldn’t you choose the best?
Replace fear with fun. Fear can lead to a work addiction. When you lack balance in your life it shows up in your relationships, business, and health. Carve out time to laugh and play. Get away from all electronics and get your fun meter running. Dance, hike, begin a new hobby, and laugh as often as possible.
The alternative to facing your fears is that your fears will control you. Don’t miss out on opportunities. Don’t cheat the people who will benefit from your gifts. Live is meant to be lived out loud and in joy. This is your time. This is you life. Live it with gutsy, risk-taking, glory.
Tess Marshall is the founder of The Bold Life, where she inspires people to live a fearless life. If you are tired of being stuck in fear and want to step into your greatness, click here to learn more about Take Your Fear and Shove It, an ecourse that will help you overcome your fear!
WIN a copy of Take Your Fear and Shove It!
- Leave a comment telling me how you plan to overcome fear this year.
- Include your email address so I can contact you when you win.
- Want an extra chance to win? Tweet + mention @positivepresent.
- THREE winners will be selected on Thursday, January 26, 2011.