tackling a tough topic: tv + happiness

 

(♥)

Since I've started working for myself at home, I've been struggling with my TV watching habits. I've discovered that I watch at least 45 shows consistently (meaning I rarely miss an episode). Granted, these shows aren't on every week -- or even every month -- but that still adds up to a lot of time. I'm a big believer in the "life is short" philosophy, which made me want to investigate this whole TV topic a little more. After all, if I'm going to spend that much of my life doing something, I better be sure it's what I want to be doing. 

 

My Television History

When I was a kid, teenager, and even a college student, I didn't watch much TV. My nose was always in a book and I really preferred my own imagination when it came to taking a story and making it come to life. I only ended up getting a TV as a college student was because, when 9/11 happened back in 2001, I had no way to stay on top of the news (other than the internet, which wasn't the same back then as it is today). I recall someone IMing me (oh, AOL!) and saying, "Turn on the TV!" and I couldn't. After that, I bought a teeny, tiny television for my dorm room that I had until I moved to California. 

California is where the TV watching trouble began. (Most of my troubles began there, but we'll save those stories for another day!) I think being alone, away from home, and in what felt like a foreign land at times made me form a fascination with the people on my television. I had it on constantly for the noise, for the distraction, for the pathetic companionship. I fell in love with old reruns: That 70's Show, King of Queens, Family Guy. (Clearly I am a high-brow TV-watcher.) I bought tons of movies at failing Blockbusters and watched them while I read, studied, or worked on my thesis. 

That's the thing about me and TV -- I've always kind of half-assed our relationship. While watching TV I'm always doing something else -- reading, writing, playing a game of Yahtzee or Scrabble -- which has allowed me to accept the TV watching habits I've adopted as an adult. I figured if I wasn't focusing only on the TV, lying around on the couch like those other TV watchers, then all of my TV watching wasn't really a problem. 

Oh, the beautiful sound of a well-crafted excuse... 

And, really, that's all it is: an excuse. I excuse myself from excessive TV watching by telling myself it's okay because I'm doing another task. Or, in another attempt to excuse myself, I remind myself that these days I often watch TV with other people, which, of course is bonding. We're not just watching TV; we're bonding. Never mind that this "bonding" usually comes at the price of judging others negatively for the lives they're living that are clearly beneath the one I'm living as a judgmental voyeur (yes, I watch Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, and a slew of other reality TV shows). 

So here's where I am today: finally aware of the excuses I've been making for the past few years about my excessive TV watching habits, I have to decide whether or not I want to keep watching so much TV. Is it making me happy? Is watching the lives of others on TV making me a more positive, more present person? 

 

TV + Happiness 

In her article, "Does TV Make Us Happy?" The Happiness Project's Gretchen Rubin has the following to say about TV and happiness:

"I’ve increasingly come to the view that happiness contains within it a notion of advancement. (Yes, I know that’s not what Buddhists believe, but at least for Western types, I think that’s true). We’re cheered by the sense of progress, of things are moving forward. That’s why it’s satisfying to see the seasons change; to watch children grow; and to clean your closets. TV feeds into this, with reality shows, game shows, award shows, and sports shows that give a sense of progress.

Also, for some people, TV gives an artificial yet nevertheless satisfying sense of connection. Watching soap operas makes people happier—probably because folks feel like they have (imaginary) friends.

TV lets you chat with people around the water cooler. It provides a way to gossip without being hurtful. It can be a source of expertise, a way to be knowledgeable.

Watching TV is companionable...We’ve having the same experience, in a way that we aren’t if we’re both reading or working." 

Valid points, yes, but are these also just excuses? And, if so, does it even matter? Perhaps we are allowed to make excuses for the things that make us happy so we can continue to experience happiness. What I want to get to the bottom of is whether or not TV actually does make us really, truly happy (not just satiated by the faux connections we experience with the people parading past us on our television screens). 

In another article, "9 Tips to Ensure TV Is Boosting Your Happiness," Gretchen offers advice for making the most of TV watching. Of these tips, her ninth one is the most important: choose to watch TV. For so many of us (and definitely for me), TV is the default activity. Nothing to do? Turn on the TV! Want some background noise? Turn on the TV! Want to bond with a friend or loved one? Turn on the TV!  I'm not saying these are necessarily bad things, but they're the types of things we need to think about before we do them.

You + Your TV Habits

As with any habit, it's important to understand why you do it, how you feel about doing it, and what you want to do about it. Based on the questions I've been asking myself recently, I've created a list of questions to ask yourself about your TV habits so you can see if you really do want to be watching as much TV as you do. Don't just watch just to watch. Give some thought to these questions to see if TV (or your current amount of TV intake) is really something you want in your life. (If TV isn't your issue, try inserting another habit.)

 

1. How much TV do you watch each week? (Be honest!)
   
   
2. What shows do you really enjoy watching? Only sort of enjoy?
   
   
3. What shows do you watch just because you always have? 
   
   
4. What shows would you not miss if you never saw them again? 
   
   
5. How do you feel when you watch your favorite shows? 
   
   
6. How do you feel when you watch shows you don't care much about? 
   
   
7. Do you spend a lot of time judging people on TV? 
   
   
8. Do you spend a lot of time envious of people on TV? 
   
   
9. When and why did you start watching TV? 
   
   
10. Why do you watch TV now? (Comfort, escape, boredom, etc.)
    
    
11. Do you ever miss out on real life because of TV? 
    
    
12. Do you ever wish you didn't watch so much TV? 
    
    
13. If you weren't watching TV, what would you be doing? 
    
    
14. What shows would you not miss watching? 
    
    
15. Do you have relationships based solely on TV show interests? 
    
    
16. What types of TV shows make you feel truly happy? 
    
    
17. Do you watch shows that inspire or educate you? 
    
    
18. Do you spend time thinking about TV when not watching it? 
    
    
19. What shows can you stop watching today? 
    
    
20. How much TV do you want to be watching? 

 

I don't think watching TV is a bad thing, but, like most enjoyable things, it should be done in moderation. Personally, moderation isn't my thing. I tend to have a "go big or go home!" attitude about most of the things I do (clearly this has become the case with TV having gone from not even owning at TV to watching 45 shows consistently!). I often have to cut myself off completely from the things that aren't healthy for me. Would I like to never watch TV again? Yes, that sounds great. Tons of free time, less negative judging of others, being more present with my reading and writing. Will I actually cut out all TV from my life? Probably not.

But at least I'm thinking about, evaluating, and actively making changes to my TV watching habits. After making a list of shows I watch, I narrowed down my 45 to a mere 15 and deleted the others from my DVR queue! I don't want to rid my life of TV, but I want make sure TV is a positive influence on my life.

TV can be awesome, but like any awesome thing, it loses it's magic if you do it all the time. We should all spend time thinking about the activities we spend lots and lots of time doing. Don't just do something to do it! Whether it's TV, hanging out with friends, playing a sport, or partaking in a hobby, know why you're doing it, know whether or not it makes you happy, and take control of how much of it you choose to do. 

Comments

[Syd]

I don't watch much TV, except for news. And then it is only about an hour a day. If I watch something on TV, it is generally a streaming movie. I have watched several show series via streaming Netflix. TV is definitely a choice and I could do without it.

[positively present]

Syd - That's awesome! I'm impressed with your TV watching habits. I'm looking forward to modifying mine so that I can be more like you and watch TV less frequently.

[MK]

I'm guiltily admitting my TV watching habits have reached an extreme, in the vicinity of 21 hours a week... Ouch, it hurts to type that number. As with most of your posts, I feel like many of your paragraphs are me! I'd add though that I usually hide in watching TV when I'm avoiding tough stuff. 21 hours, yikes. I keep wishing I had more time to work on my writing projects each week, and that's a whole day right there. Your reminder is really helpful though. Thank you!

[positively present]

MK - So glad this post spoke to you and you could relate to the TV watching topic. It's really hard to break the habit (even though I cleared out my recorded shows, now that I'm working from home I'm having trouble not keeping the TV on in the background...), but it's amazing how much time becomes available when we cut out some of the TV in our lives. Good luck with your writing projects!

[Dani]

I have such a hard time lately with television because I have a newborn, and during the day they tell you to make sure there is as much activity as possible in the home to ensure they keep their day-night schedules in tact. This means I turn on the TV in the morning and with the exception of the radio or my husband and I talking when he arrives home at night- it stays on all day.

I've tried to mix it up with turning on music videos at least, but it is still on. IT does bother me, but with there being limited options to making noise all day, it is tough. I'm not necessarily watching it, but the constant noise drives me nuts. I love baby's bedtime when I can shut it all off and just read a book or sleep!

Thanks for another awesome post!

[Saggleo]

I know I am in desperate need of a TV intervention. I admit I'm a reality TV junkie...yet I need to get into my own reality more! TV is such an easy escape when you are in a not so good place which doesn't help get you out of that. Thanks for the tips...I'm a bit afraid to know how much TV I watch, but probably good to know and see that number written out. I don't have a DVR - I'd really be in trouble then I think. LOL

[positively present]

Dani - I don't know much about newborns at all, but that makes sense that you would want to keep them on a schedule. Maybe there is something other than TV that would work for the noise/activity? Like a walk or a gathering of other moms and their babies? I know you probably will still need the TV a lot (plus I'd imagine it sort of keeps you company during the day), but I bet it would help if you added some other non-TV, noise/activities. So glad you liked this post! Thanks for reading!

Saggleo - Haha, I was too and I didn't even realize it until my brother-in-law and I were talking about all the shows I watched. I could think of about 25 off the top of my head and was appalled. When I found out it was actually 45, I was mortified! That's WAY too much TV for someone who has other interests. So far I've missed a few of my shows a little bit this week, but I'm staying strong and I think I ultimately won't remember them in a few weeks. I'd recommend writing them all out if you want to evaluate. It definitely makes it more real!

[Alex]

2 weeks ago i canceled my cable tv subscription.. for now only cable internet left - but 20 mbps ;).

i'm not sorry i did it. 5 years ago i canceled my home telephone. and i think i did the right thing. anyways all my family members have cell phones.

[positively present]

Alex - I've always wanted to completely cancel my TV subscription, but I'm taking baby steps. Thanks for sharing your experience!

[Petra]

I got rid of TV about a year ago and never looked back with regret. I have sooo much time to do things that really make me happy now and recieve much less sad news in my life now. Living withouth Tv is so liberating :D

[positively present]

Petra - Thanks for sharing your TV-quitting experience. You've inspired me to make that a goal someday. I'm taking baby steps now but I think someday I could again be TV-free!

[Kimberley - Dream. Delight. Inspire.]

We actually don't have a real TV in our apartment. It started that way because I had just moved to a new city and didn't have a lot of money for furniture/electronics. But now I enjoy the freedom to enjoy my evenings without watching television.

My boyfriend and I will watch DVDs on the computer a little but I find that we talk and go out to do things more without one in the house. He did eventually make me buckle and uses an old computer monitor as a TV during football season. ;)

[positively present]

Kimberley - Good for you, not having a TV! I think I'd probably be a lot better off without one, but there are some positive things about it. Like yours, I don't know if my bf could survive football season without a TV!