guest post: using confidence to improve relationships

Photo by D.Ames

Today's post was written by Diggy, creator of Flawless Confidence. As you've probably noticed, I haven't been featuring too many guest articles lately, but I couldn't pass up this one by Diggy. When it comes to living a positive and present life, confidence is a must -- and it's something a lot of people struggle with. We're all faced with pressures to be better, different, than we are, but true happiness lies in accepting ourselves and loving who we are. Check out Diggy's article (and site!) for more on how confidence can improve your relationships -- and, as a result, your life!

Increase Your Confidence to Improve Your Relationships

Relationships with other people are one of the most important things we can develop in our lives. They are one of the most time consuming, rewarding investments we can make. Yet many people don’t realize that in order to have optimal relationships with others, we must first have a strong relationship with ourselves. In order to give the most to those you care about, you must first care about, respect, and have confidence in yourself.

People with confidence are more comfortable with stating boundaries, communicating when they are bothered by something, and fighting for what they believe in. It is not uncommon for confident people to earn others’ respect by simply being themselves in difficult situations.

If you are someone who feels that others in your life don’t respect you, or that you fail at developing the kinds of relationships that you want with others, consider how improving your self-confidence and self-esteem might change your outlook, and your ability to impact your interpersonal relationships.

Business and Professional Relationships

People who are not confident can sometimes be taken advantage of, pushed around, or overlooked for life-changing opportunities. In a business setting, confidence can lead to more fully developed partnerships. It can mean promotions, more money, or a more efficient and pleasant work environment.

So, it can literally pay to have confidence in yourself at the workplace! In an impersonal relationship – say, a casual interaction with a store manager when you have a complaint, or a contractor from whom you are receiving an estimate for a job – imparting a strong, confident air can lead to a quick and professional interaction that is satisfying to everyone involved.

Because confident people are sometimes risk takers, they can be viewed as being innovative; and because they have a clear belief in their ability to get the job done, they can be perceived as people who can be trusted. Confident people are rarely disrespected or mistreated. Typically, when a person has confidence in themselves, others around can sense it, and tend to gravitate toward that person as a strong leader.

Think of the people who you consider to be good leaders, whether it’s a parent, friend, coworker, or celebrity. They are likely very confident in themselves and their potential to succeed. So take pride in what you know you do well, and make sure that you display this confident stance to others that you work with – your boss will notice, your coworkers will respect you for it, and you may open some doors for yourself to new friendships or business opportunities.

Friendships and Family Relationships

First and foremost, it can be hard to maintain a high level of self-confidence if you find the people you are closest to you disrespecting you or tearing you down. Evaluate your friends and those closest to you to see how they treat you – do they compliment you and say supportive and kind things, or do they disregard your achievements and belittle your goals?

Negativity is self-perpetuating, and if you want to be more confident in yourself, you will need to surround yourself with positive people. Let the people in your life know that it is important to you that they support your attempts to change your relationships, and show them the confidence you have in them as well. Remember: often people tear others down because they don’t feel good about themselves. You can counteract this by complimenting, supporting, loving, and accepting the people you care about. See if that can change their attitude and approach toward you.

Additionally, having confidence in yourself can attract new and interesting people into your life. People want to surround themselves with other people they see as positive, and if you give off an air of positivity and loving support, it may be easier for you to make new friends. When meeting someone for the first time, giving off an impression of insecurity can lead people to believe you are needy or won’t be able to support them as a friend when they need it, and the relationship may not blossom. However, being confident can instill in people the attitude that you will bring something valuable to the friendship, and you will be able to develop a relationship with them.

Intimate and Personal Relationships

Attracting new, interesting people into your life may start the two of you off as friends and then work its way into a business or personal relationship – depending on what you’re looking for. If you are trying to begin a new intimate relationship with someone, you will impress them by being confident in your abilities, your skills, and your knowledge. This doesn’t mean boasting about achievements or showing off talents (confidence is not the same as arrogance). But it does mean that if you can show the person you’re interested in that you believe in yourself, they will also believe in you.

Setting boundaries, stating strong opinions, and being willing to listen and learn from others are all ways to show belief in yourself, and in your interest in growing as a person. By showing your romantic interest that you are secure in your individuality you will keep them interested in you. They may wonder what gives you your inner strength and how you use that strength to better others around you. Use any opportunity given to learn from your sweetheart. Rather than seeing your lack of knowledge as a “weakness” or “insecurity,” they will likely be impressed by your willingness to learn, trust in their expertise, and confidence in your own potential.

If you’re already in a relationship, you can use confidence to build up and strengthen it so it can be happier, healthier, and more intimate. Again, one of the best things you can do is give what you expect to get – so be loving, supporting, and complimentary to your significant other. Be communicative about what you want and ask what it is they want from you. When you tell your sweetheart that you believe in him or her, he or she will be able to support and believe in you as well.

Passion is bred by mutual respect and understanding, and confidence that you’re doing the right thing by investing time and emotion into a relationship with another person is a sure way to lead to invigorating passion. You can install that confidence in the other person by being confident in yourself.

About The Author: Diggy is a confident, successful young man who is his own boss, travels the world and has fantastic friends and relationships. He uses his own experience to teach others how to be confident and even has a special section with confidence tips for women. If you want to become more confident or even super confident, subscribe to Diggy's Flawless Confidence newsletter.