For months, my dad was reading a book he didn't enjoy. He would complain about it, but continued to trudge through it. Typically able to read a book in a week or less, it took him months to finish this one. All the while, I told him, "Life's too short. Just stop reading it and start reading something else!" He refused, determined, as always, not to put a half-read book back on the shelf. I would shake my head, never quite understanding why anyone would waste free time on something that wasn't enjoyable.
My dad and his determination got me thinking though. How often to we keep at something even when it's not bringing us happiness? How often do we persevere for reasons other than true joy? Of course, there are many things in life we don't enjoy that we must do, but what about the things that aren't required? Do we do them because we love them? Or do we do them because we feel we should?
Giving up isn't something I love to do, but it's something that's sometimes necessary for living a positively present life -- especially when it comes to personal pastimes and just-for-fun activities. We've all heard the old "life is short" saying, but do we really take it to heart when it comes to pursuing a task no longer bringing us joy? Some of us know when to stop, when to throw in the towel -- but many of us will doggedly pursue something, even when the fun has been sucked out of it and it seems more like a chore than a pastime. Determination is a worthwhile trait, but, when it comes to your free time, sometimes it's just better to put the bad book down. Here's why you should stop doing what you don't love:
5 Reasons to Stop Doing What You Don't Love
1. It's a waste of time. You know that life is short, but do you really act like it's short? Between work or school, relationships, and commitments, we're only given so much free time to spend doing what we really love to be doing. Are you doing what you love during your precious hours of free time? Or are you doing what you think you should? Are you making the most of every minute? Because if you're not, you're wasting your time -- and, as I'm sure you know, time is one of life's most valuable commodities.
2. It's getting in the way of fun. If you're not doing what you love to do, you're not having fun. Spending time on activities that don't bring you joy hinder you from making the most of your free time. They take all the fun out of being able to do what you want. If a pastime is starting to feel more like a chore, consider it a fun-blocker. If you keep doing it, you're blocking the way to potentially fun activities -- and who wants to do that? Don't let fun-blockers get in the way of enjoying your free time!
3. It's boring. Doing something you don't enjoy doing gets old really, really quickly -- especially if it's something you're not being rewarded for or paid for. You've probably heard the saying "only boring people are bored," and there's some truth in that. If whatever you're spending your free time has become mundane, it's time to spice it up. Free time is an amazing gift and the last thing it should wasted on is an activity that bores you.
4. It's a source of frustration. Like my dad reading his bad book, the more time you spend on an activity that doesn't bring you happiness, the more frustrated you'll become with it -- and with yourself. While a little frustration can make things interesting, for the most part, your free time should be spent doing things that inspire and excite you. If you're facing more frustrations than fun, it's time to rethink the way you're spending your time.
5. It's not the only option. If you're spending your time doing what you don't want to be doing, you're missing out on doing all the things you do want to be doing. For example, think of all the amazing and exciting books in the world! My dad could have easily put down the one he was reading and picked up another option. No matter what you enjoy doing in your free time, there's always a fun alternative for a pastime that grows dull. Not giving up what you don't love gives you a lot less time to test new options.
Whether it's a bad book, a craft project, an experience you've been trying to cross off your bucket list -- if it's not making you happy and bringing you joy, don't do it. We sometimes set goals for ourselves and feel that we'll be let down if we don't achieve them. It's okay to accept that something isn't what you thought it would be. It's okay to change your mind and realize you no longer want to do what you started doing. Now, I'm not advising you to give up on your goals or sell yourself short when it comes to your big, crazy dreams -- but consider how you're spending your free time and ask yourself if it's really what you want to be doing. You might be surprised by the answer and realize that, yes, it's time to put the bad book down.
Great Posts. Much like your father, I used to feel compelled to finish a book I've started reading even though I don't enjoy it - usually the fictional variety. Now-a-days I only read non-fiction books and I have no problem finishing them and it's never a dull experience. The books I read are specifically self help books on various subjects and I do review on them :)
Gemeda Beker.
indi101.com
Posted by: gemeda | August 13, 2012 at 05:43 PM
Gemeda - Thanks! I'm so glad you've decided to put the bad books down and read things you truly enjoy. Life's too short not to!
Posted by: positively present | August 14, 2012 at 07:15 AM
Love this post, Dani! I think most people would be shocked at how often they are doing things by rote rather than choice.
My mother provides us with another example. Fighting her weight, she's careful not to eat too many desserts. Yet, there are times when she's eating a dessert she really doesn't enjoy but she will finish every bite. What makes someone do that? At the very least, wouldn't you say, ahhh, what a great opportunity to put it aside and lose some weight? But no, I bought it, i'm eating it.
Just like the book maybe?
There are so many lessons in this post. You mentioned frustrations. Sometimes we DO seem to love them but, heck, get over it and move on to another frustration if you have to. Ha!
"Fun Blockers" - that's a good one. Thanks for sharing, Dani. Looking forward to your next post.
Carmelo
Posted by: Carmelo | August 14, 2012 at 02:14 PM
Camelo - Thank you! So happy you loved it! And thanks for sharing that great example of your mother. I find myself doing that sometimes myself - indulging in a dessert just because I feel like I need something sweet after dinner, even though I don't really like what the dessert it. I hadn't thought about that in relation to this post, but it makes total sense. Thanks for bring that up!
Posted by: positively present | August 14, 2012 at 03:29 PM
You're very welcome. I guess that's the beauty of this interaction online and putting your ideas out there. We get new perspectives and other people's experiences. Very cool. :-)
Posted by: Carmelo | August 17, 2012 at 06:52 PM
Some books take more effort than others. Simply because a book seems hard doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile. I've kept going through all sorts of books that seemed boring or confusing or "not fun", and ultimately found reward in having read them: Ulysses, Shakespeare, even The Scarlet Letter.
I agree that it's OK to stop, but using any one of these rationales as an excuse can be too easy an out: "it's BORING."
Posted by: Van | August 18, 2012 at 07:46 PM
Van - You bring up a great point. Giving up on something because it's boring isn't always the answer. There are some things that aren't thrilling but that are still worthwhile so it's important to figure out the things we're doing out of obligation (that have no value) and those that are difficult or boring that actually do have value if we just keep pursuing them.
Posted by: positively present | August 19, 2012 at 05:33 PM