5 ways to stop a bad day from bringing you down
positively present picks: march 1, 2013

my bella pup

  

To watch the video on YouTube, click here

 

Today I face one my greatest challenges: staying positive and present when I've lost my best friend, my loyal pup, my sweet little Bella. Though I cannot imagine life without her -- and I how I will cope with this overwhelming feeling of grief -- I know life will go on. I know every day will get a little bit easier. But for now, I'll take comfort in the memories I have of Bella (some of which you can see in the video above) and in the words of Ellen Bass, who reminds us that, even in the midst of the darkest grief, we can choose to love life... 

 

“To love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.” 

Ellen Bass

 

I have much to say on the topic of Bella and losing a loved one, today I have to embrace the silence that comes with the pain of loss. Though it's incredibly difficult to stay present when I am so filled with sadness, I am, in a way, grateful for such a deep and profound pain. The pain is a reminder of the love, of the true and lasting way that little furry pup impacted my life. She is -- and always will be -- one of the great loves of my life, and I will be forever changed for the better because I knew and loved her.  

Comments

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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss of Bella, Dani. My heart goes out to you at this time. Of all you shared, it was clear she was a loving, sweet pup and you have the best little angel on your shoulder and in your heart now. BIG HUG to you and Bella!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We recently lost our family dog, and it is really devastating. Bella seems like the sweetest little pup. You'll have many fond memories to treasure. Thinking of you and sending hugs and love your way.

How sad. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there.

So, so sad.
You shared so much of her with us- we all loved her.
Sending you comfort & peace as you work thru this grief.
We are with you.

I'm so sorry, Dani. I know how hard it is, have been there and will go there again. The only thing that comforted me was knowing that I gave my Obi a good life, and that the love we had wouldn't die with his body, that I would carry that with me until I died. And the truth of this:

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

– Mary Oliver

I'm so terribly sorry, Dani. I just lost my dog as well and I know the terrible pain that comes along with it. Just know, she's in a better place now. I hope it was a calm and peaceful transition with her death. I am praying for you in this difficult time and know that you are in many people's thoughts. God bless.
- Stephanie

Yes, so sad. Pets are treasured gifts from God.
Praying peace on you today. Thank you for sharing this.

I'm so sorry to hear about Bella. How very, very sad. One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Laura

My heart aches for you. What a beautiful tribute you provided for your sweet Bella. Thank you for sharing her with us.

I'm so sorry for this loss, Dani...My heart breaks for you because I know how hard it is. Please remember the innocence and light Bella brought to your life; the love you shared -- the love between a girl and her dog -- is a treasure that you keep with you. Thinking of you...

There's nothing like the love of a good dog. She was a cutie! While I am so sorry for your loss, I know you are right when you say that the pain is a reminder of the love. It'll lead you to greater compassion. All my best. ~Carrie

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with Carrie above who said there is nothing like the love of one's special dog. My thoughts are with you.

I wanted to share a post I wrote after losing my beloved fur-child, Charlie. I hope it brings some solace in knowing Bella is not alone:
https://aloveinterrupted.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/last-walk/
With love,

Taryn

Bella had a blessed life, from the moment she walked into your life to the moment she left. Somethings become clearer after time and possibly God's answers prayers from our companions perspective. He knew Bella would need help someday and led her to the most loving person possible, you. You were the answer to Bella's prayers. Bella opened your heart in many ways and I know she would say how very honored she was to spend her life here on earth as your friend & companion.
I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Dani. It's so neat that you were able to honor her memory by doing that video. It's hard when we lose our dear friends who do so much for us and love us so unconditionally.

Dani my heart sends a giant hug your way... having been through this lose so many times and been there holding the hands and hearts of so many clients over the last 31 years running the Vet clinic . Thank you for sharing your joy and your sorrow, and now after watching your video I see my own crazy little white dog who ruled my life for so long, how I miss that wild crazy spirit, and I know if I stand still long enough I can still feel that wild energy close by. May memories fill your heart and mind with laughter through the tears in memory of the love they give always without a second thought.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. I just finished these two books this weekend and highly recommend them. A Dog's Purpose and a Dog's Journey by W. Bruce Cameron. At times I still feel such sadness over the loss of our lab over a year ago. I am convinced the our sweet Cooper was and old soul put in our lives to teach us so many things.

I'm so sorry for your loss. We have a 14-year-old dog who is so much a part of the family that I shudder to think what it will be like when we eventually lose her. My heart hurts for you, but you are right, it will get a little easier as time goes on. Eventually you will be able to think of little Bella with more joy than sadness. Sending you cyber hugs.

Dani, my heart broke for you when I saw this and I teared up at the sweet video of Bella. I visit your blog often when I need a quick dose of positivity and you and Bella have been in my thoughts. I love the quote you included in this post because our wonderful dogs can't realize all that they do for us and we can't repay them except to love them right back. It's clear that Bella was truly loved and treasured and your grief is a testament to the bond you shared. I'll continue to keep you both in my thoughts.

I'm so sorry that Bella is gone. You loved and looked out for her so well, you were both so lucky to have found each other. Nothing can be said to make it any easier but know that there are a lot of people that you have helped, who wish they could so something to help you through your pain right now. Look after yourself and know she's at peace now.

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