positively present

accepting what is: 4 phrases to forget

(♥)

"Things are as they are.
Looking out into the universe at night
we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars,
nor between well and badly arranged constellations."

Alan Watts

Accepting what is is key to living a positive, present life. To live in the now, one must accept the now as it is. One cannot wish it is something else or create stories in his or her mind of how it should be. Many of us know this, but struggle to find ways to be accepting of ourselves and others. We wonder how we are to live life without judgments. We wonder how we are to live in a world where we often want things to be different, a world in which we are bombarded by the things we should be and say and do, without passing judgement. It's not wrong to want change, but how can you reconcile the idea of wanting change and accepting what is?

The truth is: it's difficult. Very difficult. It's a daily struggle, accepting what is. You must accept yourself, your colleagues, your partner, your friends. You must accept your job, your relationships, your situations, the weather. There is so much one must accept if he or she is to live in the present moment and it's hard to do on a moment-to-moment basis. But here's the thing: you've gotta try to bring acceptance into your life if you want to live a positive present life. And a good place to start is with the things you stay to yourself. Below are four phrases you need to forget. 

4 Factious Phrases to Forget 

"I wish..."

 
Wishing for a better tomorrow is no crime, but what does all that wishing really get you? I say, take that wish you've been thinking about and do something about it. Acceptance isn't the same as settling. To be happy, you must accept what is happening now, but take action (right now!) to make the situation better. Stop wishing and start looking at the changes you can make to make the present more positive.  

"I should have..."

Let me tell you something: looking back and thinking about what you should have done doesn't do anything. It's a waste of your time -- unless you take action now. If you should have said/done something differently, go tell that person what you would have liked to have said/done. Or, better yet, just say it or do it. Don't dwell on the past; take action to make the present, and ultimately your future, exactly what you want it to be. 

"If only I had..."

If only you had a better thing/situation/person in your life, then you could make all your dreams come true, right? Wrong. If you need something more in your life to make the present a positive place, go out and get it. Can't get it? Find a way to work around it. Use the energy spent on saying "if only I had..." to creatively make the most of what you've got. And remember: what you really need, you already have. 

"It would be better if..."

Yes, it would be better if the sun was shining, you weren't being nagged, you were filthy rich, you had the love of your life, etc., etc. If you spend time focusing on the things that could be better, you're wasting time that could be spent on making things better. Use the present moment not to dwell on what could be improved, but to take action and start improving it. (And let things like the weather go -- you can't impact them.) 

As much as I'd love to sit here and tell you that it's easy to stop saying these things, to accept what is, there's just no getting around the fact that it's not. I struggle with it every day. I want to be living a different life -- writing full time, being self employed -- but I'm not doing that yet. I have to stay present while also looking forward to the future. It's a balance between accepting what's happening now and looking forward to what's happening next. After all, if I hadn't had the desire to do something different, I wouldn't be making steps toward making the life I want to be living. 

Remember: it's okay to have a dream, a wish, a hope. It's okay to want things other than what you have right now. But it's not okay not to accept what's happening all around you. Because, just as the quote above states, things are as they are. We give them the labels of right or wrong, bad or good, but the everything is what it is. We must stop saying the things that force us to deny acceptance because it is this lack of accepting what is that lead us to unhappiness. Instead, we must embrace what's happening now and take action today to make our future a place we'll be happy to accept. 

celebrate life: how to cope with grief + loss

(♥)

Celebrate we will 
Because life is short 
But sweet for certain 
We're climbing two by two 
To be sure these days continue 
Things we cannot change...

Dave Matthews Band

On January 2 my childhood best friend's mother, Jan, passed away. Sadly, I had not seen her in years; I never got to say goodbye. Though it had been years since I'd seen her, the loss of her still hit me. It hit me harder than I realized it would. Growing up, she was like a second mother to me -- very different than my own mother and, in many ways, more like me. There was a sassiness, a sarcasm, to her that I connected with. Like me, she had the tendency to be moody, controlling, to always seek perfection. She often hid behind these things, but so many parts of her were transparent: her love for her daughter and husband, her determination to help those in need, her never-ending quest for knowledge. Over the years she supplemented the things my parents taught me with her own ideas and ways of doing things. She always has been -- and always will be -- a part of the person I turned out to be. 

I'm not sure I've fully dealt with the loss yet. I went to the celebration of life service (a beautiful and inspiring alternative to the traditional funeral). I cried alone in my room, rotating the ring she once gave me on my finger. I wrote down a list of memories that came to mind when I heard the word "Jan." And still I don't think it's really had a chance to sink in. Grief is funny that way... It doesn't always happen when it's expected to. But I know it will -- and I know that so many others are grieving the loss of this wonderful woman. The tips below are for them -- and for anyone dealing with grief and loss. 

How to Cope with Grief + Loss

1. Find support. There is nothing worse than being alone when you are in pain and grieving the loss of a loved one. Finding support from friends and family members -- and/or outside support from a therapist or grief group -- is absolutely critical. I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt for me when I told the news to my boyfriend and he immediately stopped what he was doing and embraced me. I thought I was okay, but when I felt his arms around me, I knew that I'd been in desperate need of that hug. It's important to grieve in your own way -- and sometimes that means being alone -- but especially in the initial stages of loss, it's essential to surround yourself with people who love and support you. 

2. Look after yourself. When you're grieving, it can be hard to remember to take care of yourself. You're dealing with pain and stress and a myriad of emotions that you may not have experienced before. Accept that you are hurting, but don't allow yourself to stop caring for your physical body. Get as much rest as you possibly can. Eat food that will make you feel energize and healthy. Spend time meditating, walking, or taking a long bath -- anything that will leave you feeling more relaxed. It's easier to let things slide when you're upset, but being in an unhealthy, exhausted physical state will make your emotional pain much more magnified. 

3. Let yourself feel. If you're anything like me, it's tempting to shut down when hard emotions come along, pushing them to the back of your mind and plowing through life appearing unaffected. Clearly this is not a healthy way to do things (believe me, I know!). It's important to let yourself experience all of the emotions you feel -- anger, hurt, loss, pain, etc. -- and fully experience them. Don't let others tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. Embrace your emotions and remind yourself that it's perfectly okay to feel the way you do. Dealing with loss, I've found, really brings up some odd feelings, but that's okay. You're allowed to feel however you want to feel (now, how you act on those feelings is a different story...). 

4. Seek an outlet. I really believe you are entitled to feel whatever the hell you want to feel whenever the hell you want to feel it. That being said, you cannot always act on those emotions. Just because you are angry that a loved one has died doesn't mean you can lash out at loved ones that are still alive. Which is why you need an outlet. Whatever you love to do -- writing, painting, biking, soccer, bowling, etc, etc, etc. -- do it. Find a way to take your emotions and express them in a positive, healthy way. For example, writing's kinda my thing so I'm going to use that as an outlet (see below) to express how I feel about the loss of Jan. Writing really helps me to express my emotions in a positive way. Find what works best for you and do it. 

5. Remember the good times. What always bums me out about funerals is all the black, all the sadness, the wet eyes and the sniffling noses. Of course, it's okay (and necessary) to be sad, but focusing on the loss instead of the great life that was lived has always seemed like a bit of a downer practice. Jan's friends and family put together a wonderful celebration of life ceremony, complete with uplifting poems, laugh-out-loud stories, and touching memories. Yes, there were certainly some tears shed, but I left the service thinking, "Wow, Jan had a great life filled with amazing memories and loving friends and family." It was so nice to celebrate her life -- remembering the good times -- instead of mourning her loss. Focusing on the positive makes such a difference. 

6. Celebrate life. One of the things we can take away from a loss is a reminder to celebrate our own lives. As death reminds us: life is short. This is something we easily forget when we're healthy and living and going about our day-to-day lives. Take time when you're grieving to remind yourself that life is pretty awesome -- and it's also not infinite. Times of grief should also be times of celebration -- for the lives others have lives, for the lives we're still living. It might seem selfish or unfair to celebrate life when someone has recently lost a life, but it's not. It's most likely exactly what he or she would have wanted you to do. 


Below, I've chosen to celebrate Jan's life by documenting some of the memories I shared with her and celebrating all the wonderful things that she was. For most of you, these won't make any sense, but perhaps this will serve as example of something you might want to try if you ever experience the lost of a loved one. 

A Celebration of Jan

Jan was a lot of things in her life -- mother, daughter, friend, spouse -- and she was a lot of things to me, a staple in my childhood and teen years, a second mother figure that I looked up to, argued with, and loved. Without her, I would not be who I am and I'm so grateful that she was -- and always will be -- a part of my life. Though the list of things Jan was would be endless, here are a few of the things she was to me:  

A patient hair-brusher, slowly untangling the knots from my gnarled hair
A gorilla-spotter, finding them even in the unlikely Central Park
A supporter, always encouraging and believing in her daughter (and me!)
A crafter, turning the most boring white sweatshirt into an xmas masterpiece
A red convertible driver, cruising me and her daughter all over town
A kindred soul, adhering to my odd childhood quirks (shower at 7!)
A Mac lover, introducing me to what would become my favorite brand
A researcher, finding anything and everything online (back in the '90s!)
A home-renovator, always tackling a new project with gusto
A beach-goer, taking me year after year on family vacations  
A business starter, launching her own line of stationery (which I still have!)
A costume-creator, dressing up me and her daughter like twin babies 
A scientist, taking on science projects with my mom (milk? soda? water?)
A rescuer, soothing my bloodied lip when I fell off my bike (still pissed, Monk!)
A friend, cheering me (and my mom) with the daily gifts in Denver
A Nordstrom-lover, lunching with us almost every Friday afternoon
A firework-watcher, taking me with them to the Pike every July 4th
A colored xmas light-user, awing me, who had only ever had white lights 
A s'mores eater, enjoying a simple treat Eloise-style in The Plaza 
A generous gift giver, surprising The C.Factory with mounds of gifts
A hot cocoa maker, warming us after hours of sledding at the park
A chatter, keeping me entertained on the softball sidelines
A relaxer, showing me that it's okay to relax on a Saturday morning
A comfort, letting her daughter and me crawl into her bed during thunderstorms
A rule-maker, telling us when to be home (but letting us sneak boys in the yard)
A dog-finder, locating the perfect breeder for my first pup, Pooky
A house-finder, finding the perfect spot just a few blocks from her house
A cheerleader, always celebrating the odd parts of me (8-year-old organizer)
A worker, hosting me on Take Your Daughter to Work day like I was her own 
A roller skate rink maker, entertaining us kids for hours and hours
A Hippo-finder, buying them for me whenever she spotted them
A friend, asking me about my school, my boyfriends, my latest hobbies
A mother, welcoming me into her home when my mom was hospitalized
A beautiful soul, the best second mom I could have asked for...

She was all these things and so much more. Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone like this in her life -- a kindred soul, a mother figure who is so different from her own mother but just as loving and supportive. I was so fortunate to grow up having two families that loved me, two families that celebrated and encouraged me. Jan was so many wonderful things, and though all that she was will always be with me, her presence here in this world will be missed. 

slow down: learning to accept others as they are

(♥)

This morning I started reading Wonderland: The Zen of Alice. As I was walking my dog and reading (my dog-walking MO), these lines jumped off the page and made me stop in my tracks: 

"Most of us are like Alice, trying to get others to make sense (by our definition) and to do things that make us happy. I need to remind myself of this daily: The point of everybody else's life is not to make me happy. What would your relationships be like if you accepted the people around you exactly as they are?" 

It seems so obvious: of course everyone else isn't here to make me happy. But do I really believe that? How often do I find myself annoyed by someone else's behavior? How often do I judge people for not being like me? I'd like to think of myself as a open-minded, accepting person, but when I stop and think about it -- as I literally did this morning on the sidewalk, confusing poor little Bella who tugged at her leash -- I realize that I'm not as accepting of others as I would like to believe. And, as a result, I make myself (and them) unhappy in my lack of acceptance. 

Sure, I'm tolerant in the politically correct way that many people are today. I strive not to judge people on race, religion, ethnicity, sexual preference, etc. But when I think about the people closest to me and the way I react to them sometimes, I realize that I'm not exactly the embodiment of acceptance, a fact that I'm a bit ashamed to admit. Whether it's getting annoyed at a coworker for playing his music loudly in the office or getting frustrated with my sister for always being late, I'm frequently in positions where my expectations of what others should be doing cause me not to accept others for who they are. 

Hurry Up: An Example of Non-Acceptance

My boyfriend is a laid-back guy (who I am incredibly lucky to have and am missing terribly right now since he's been on a week-long business trip). I, on the other hand, am not so easygoing. I generally move as quickly as possible from one place to another. I walk quickly, talk quickly, complete tasks quickly. I act as if I am in extreme hurry, no matter what the situation might be. As a result of our difference paces, I often get exasperated with my boyfriend's slower pace, holding my hand out to him like he's a small child, jokingly saying, "Hurry up, Pokey!" (a nickname for slow poke). He, on the other hand, has never once told me to slow down. He accepts me for what I am -- quick talking, quick walking girl who acts like her entire life is an emergency fire drill. 

When I think about my behavior objectively, I am a bit shocked. It's not acceptable; it's not accepting. It's an all-too-obvious example of me thinking that my way of doing things -- the quick, speedy way -- is the best way. And whether or not it's the best way (and it's probably not, especially for someone who wants to be more present), it doesn't matter. What matters is that I, like so many people, assume that what I'm doing is right and what someone else is doing is wrong. Clearly this is something I need to work on -- and not just with my boyfriend. Upon further reflection, I realize that this my-way-is-best attitude permeates a lot of aspects of my life including relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. 

In theory, believing the idea that everyone is here to serve my personal happiness sounds almost insane, but it seems like I might have been living with that belief tucked in my back pocket. As the example above shows, I'm not only hurting others by not accepting them as they are, but I'm hurting myself as well. Though "Pokey" might not love his nickname, he shrugs it off with a laugh, unruffled by my impatience. I, on the other hand, remain annoyed that he's not moving faster, causing myself unnecessary stress and further removing myself from living a positive, present life. 

So what's a non-accepting girl like me to do? To live a more positive and present life, to increase my happiness and the happiness of others, I better start accepting others ASAP. Here's how I'm going to get started. 

6 Ways To Accept Others As They Are

• Watch your thoughts. Think about what you're thinking about. I often think things about other people, judging them, without even realizing it. I'm going to work on paying more attention to my thoughts and do my best to push them in a non-judgmental, more accepting direction. 
   
• Look for the positive. Not accepting others is a result of seeing the negative in them. Instead of focusing on why someone is different, I'm going to focus on what's good about that person and his/her choices and actions. My way is not always the best one. 
  
  
• Avoid right/wrong dichotomies. It's very tempting to see the world in black and white with a right and wrong way to do things, but that's just not how it is. Things don't have to be right or wrong if I choose to accept them as they are. I'm going to stop labeling my way as "right." 
  
  
• Stop judging yourself. Our judgments of others are often a result of our personal criticisms. If I stop putting pressure on myself to do things the "right" way, I'll also stop putting pressure on others as well. Not judging myself or others is a crucial step to acceptance.
  
  
• Focus on the now. A lack of acceptance can generate from comparing things to the past. I'm not going to think about what happened before and try to live accordingly; I'm going to think about now. Comparing things to the past always hinders an acceptance of what is.  
  
  
• Reverse the situation. I ask myself: What if someone were judging me and not accepting me? How would I feel? I'll keep these questions in mind the next time I'm not accepting others. I will imagine someone constantly telling me to slow down (and how annoying that would be!). 

Clearly I have a lot of work to do when it comes to accepting others -- especially those closest to me. It's so easy to abstractly think of yourself as an accepting person, but when it comes to your daily interactions, really pay attention to them and ask yourself if you are accepting others as they are. Are you really accepting them? Are you really not thinking your way of doing things is the best way? If you find that you're not as accepting of others as you'd like to be, think about the six ideas above and see if they don't help you to be a more accepting, more loving person. And remember: the only way to live a positive and present life is to accept what is, something you certainly can't do if you don't accept others for who they are.

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to live your life you must face your death

 (♥)

 

Where I'm from, October is a month, like it or not, in which we're surrounded by thoughts of death. If you live in a place that celebrates Halloween and/or in a place where the entire world around you is turning from the florescent green of summer to the rainbowed hues of leaves dying and flowers decaying, you're presented a great deal with thoughts of death. Even if you're not in a place that celebrates Halloween or is facing the death of summer, you probably encounter the concept of death in media and in your personal life (though hopefully not too often). October has always been my favorite month, but I can't say that I love being reminded of death on a daily basis. Horror movie previews, skeleton decorations, reading The Adults (a great book by the way) -- all of these things make ignoring death a little harder this month. 

Facing the Certainty of Death

The other night I was lying in bed, just about to drift off to sleep and feeling particularly blissful, when I felt the gripping panic that comes with these thoughts: "This is all going to be gone someday. I am going to die and I am never again going to see the people I love or experience all of the amazing things about life that I take for granted on a daily basis." If you've ever thought some thing along those lines, you've probably experienced that tight-chested, oh-my-god experience of panic that seems, momentarily, to be uncontrollable. With most moments of panic, I am able to reassure myself with calming, positive thoughts, reminding myself to focus on the good. But when you are happy, nothing good can come from the notion of knowing you're going to die. 

As I was lying there in bed, wondering how to cope with the idea that I'm going to die someday (and other people I love will too) and everything I love will no longer be as it is, I'm reminded of a scene from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (to watch the scene, click here and scroll to minute 1:37 of the clip): 

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.  

In the scene, they weren't (necessarily) talking about death, but when I think about that moment in the film, that's what comes to mind. It makes me realize that, whether I like it or not, this life is going to be gone at some point. It's a thought that sometimes haunts me, sometimes makes me feel less-than-positive. I find myself like Clementine, wondering: "What do we do?" I find myself sometimes wanting to shake up my entire life, taking everything apart so that it will feel more alive. Because far too often, I find myself going through the motions of living rather than really living.

It's usually as I'm about to drift off to sleep that the notion of death -- and of really living -- creeps into my mind. Maybe it's thinking back on my day and really evaluating what I did (or didn't) do. Maybe it's just the nighttime and the death-like quality of darkness and silence. Maybe it's the coffin-esque quality of facing the ceiling, eyes closed, hands folded. Maybe it's The Adults resting on my nightstand, a suicide inked within its pages. Whatever it is, I find that lying in bed makes me the most conscious of death and, as a result, I become much more conscious of living.

 

Using Death to Enjoy Life

For some people, the notion of death is not at all scary. For some, it's even something to look forward to -- something better than the life they are currently leading. For me, death is the end. A fact that makes me realize how important it is to make the most of the now, to live -- really live -- in the moments that make up my life. I use the notion of death not to dwell on the shortness of life or bemoan the inevitable end, but instead to motivate myself to life more fully, to embrace each and every day as if it were my last. 

In my teens and early twenties, I used to spend a great deal of time absorbed in the negative aspects of death: the ending, the nothingness, the perfect excuse to not care about anything. But now I see that ending point as a motivator. When the notion of death creeps into my mind now, it is followed by the questions: If not now, then when? If I don't live life now, when will I live it? 

If, like me, you've ever used the inevitability of death as an excuse to give up, to think this life doesn't matter, try to reframe your thinking to use death as a motivator. You will -- we all will -- die. There's nothing we can do about that. What we can do something about is living our lives to the fullest. To help us remember that, I've come up with some questions I'm going to ponder today. Giving thought to these will remind me that facing death is actually one of the best ways to enjoy life. To use death to enjoy your life, ask yourself: 

What would I do today if I knew it was my last day?
Can I do any of those things today?  

 
Am I actually living or just going through the motions? 
How can I really start living instead of just being? 

What do I want to accomplish before I die? 
Am I on the path to accomplishing it?

How do I want to be remembered when I'm gone?
Am I acting like the person I want to be remembered as?  

Am I taking all of the chances I should be in this life?
What's holding me back and how can I stop it from doing so? 

 

Thinking about these questions -- even briefly -- has reminded me how the concept of death, of the end of our lives, can really serve as a positive motivator for making the most out of every single day. Thinking about death can be a very scary thing, but avoiding the fear doesn't make the idea of death go away. You can ignore it if you want, but the fact is: it's going to happen. Accepting that is crucial because it causes you to ask yourself, as Mary Oliver did in her poem "The Summer Day": 

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

handling disappointment: 5 tricks to get you by

(♥)

 "If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

Mary Englebreit

This weekend a lot of people on the East Coast are facing disappointment. With a huge hurricane barreling up the coast, plans are being cancelled, places are being shut down, people are being evacuated, and events are being rescheduled. Up and down the coast, people are realizing that whatever weekend plans they made are going to have to be put aside or forgotten altogether.

I myself had some weekend plans that may or may not happen now that a tropical storm is heading my way and, like many of my fellow east coasters, I've felt more than one wave of disappointment over the past day or so. I probably won't be going to the museum I was looking forward to checking out. I probably won't be able to do all of the writing I had in mind (chances are, the power will go out and writing by hand just doesn't work out so well for me...). I probably won't be able to enjoy one of the few summer weekends we have left by spending time outdoors.

Most likely, this weekend will be a wash. A two-day parade of mini-disappointments. But, hey, that's life, right? Even if you're the luckiest girl or guy in the world, you're bound to encounter some disappointment in your life. Whether it be a rained-out weekend, a crush that didn't turn into a relationship, a job opportunity that didn't work out, or an accomplishment that didn't quite come to fruition, we've all suffered from setbacks. During times of disappointment, it can be pretty darn hard to see the silver lining. The negativity comes looming in and the positive thoughts are cast in shadows of negativity. Focusing on the positive seems like the hardest thing in the world to do when faced with a disappointment -- especially a big one -- but, hard as it might be, it's still possible to focus on the good things in your life even when you're battling a loss. 

 

5 Tips for Handling Disappointment

1. Let yourself feel let down. It's okay to feel letdown. Even if it's a small thing (like me not going to the museum this weekend), allow yourself to experience whatever it is that you're feeling. Big or small, disappointments are not fun. You're allowed to be unhappy about them. But don't dwell on that unhappiness. Experience it, sit with it for a bit, and then move forward to #2. Allowing the disppointment to bring you down will do nothing positive for you, so don't let it hold you back for too long.

2. Get some perspective and see the big picture. No matter how hard it might seem, you have to take a step back and get some perspective. If you're facing a small disappointment, this is fairly easy. For example, I might be bummed that the power's likely to go out, but I can be grateful for all of the wonderful things I still have that don't involve electricity (love, health, etc.). When faced with a big disappointment, perspective can be tough to come by so don't be afraid to recruit loved ones to help you see the big picture. And, for added inspiration, make a list of everything going right in your life.

3. See if there's something you can change. As the quote above says, if you're unhappy with something, the first thing you should do is try to change it. Sometimes the initial sting of a disappointment makes us feel helpless, but on closer inspection we might find that there is, in fact, something we can do to prevent or lessen the disappointment. Give some thought to what's really at the heart of your disappointed feelings and see if you can seek satisfaction, inspiration, or motivation elsewhere. If you know there is nothing at all you can do, move on to #4.

4. Revise your thinking if change isn't an option. Once you've determined that there is nothing you can do to change the situation, you're best option is to change the way you see things. It's quite tempting to wallow in self-pity and despair when things are going as you'd hoped, but no good can come from doing that. If you want to handle your disappointment in a positive way, you have to change your thinking. Consider the disappointing situation carefully and find a way to re-frame it in your mind. Make a list of why this disappointment is actually a positive thing and you'll start to see the situation from a new perspective.

5. Believe in your ability to have hope. When facing disappointments, it's so easy to be beaten down, to believe that situations are hopeless, and to give up the belief that things will eventually work out. No matter what you do, don't let your let down bring you completely down. Keep reminding yourself to have hope and know that, despite the fresh pain of a new disappointment, you always have the ability to hope for good things coming your way in the future. Believe in yourself. Believe in hope.

No matter you're facing, no matter how hard it is, don't forget that you are not alone. Every day people face disappointments of all kinds -- from a tiny missed opportunity to a life-altering letdown -- and every day people overcome these difficulties and move forward with their lives. Initially it might seem difficult, but handling disappointments well is an essential part of living a positive life. If you want to live positively in the present moment, you must let go of life's letdowns and focus on the good things in your life. Easy? Not always. Essential? Absolutely. With any luck, the five tips above will help you to stay focused on the now and make the most of your life -- no matter what disappointments come your way.

How do you handle disappointments in your life?
What tips would you offer someone struggling with a major letdown? 

 

Update: I wrote this article before the storm arrived and, much to my surprise, it wasn't nearly as bad as the weatherpeople had predicted. We lost our power only briefly and on Sunday I was able to visit the Kandinsky art exhibit (crossing that off my list of 28 Things To Do Before I Turn 29!). Having this happen reminded me that we often anticipate disappointments before they have happened. Sometimes (actually, a lot of the time!) the things we worry about or anticipate being disappointed over never actually happen. I will definitely be keeping that in mind the next time I think a disappointment is coming my way!