positively present

achieve awesome by upgrading your reality

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In the must-read e-book, Upgrade Reality: The No-Nonsense Guide to Overcoming Personal Obstacles and Getting the Life of Your Dreams, author Dirk de Bruin writes, "It's your responsibility to achieve your goals and make your life awesome." It sounds like a simple truth, but it's a truth so many of us often forget. Reading Dirk's book serves as a great reminder that it's up to all of us -- not some outside, magical force -- to make our lives awesome. In the e-book, Dirk poses this question,"Why let anxiety, lack of confidence, or fear of judgment hold you back?" which led me to wonder how this question applies in my own life. Why, I asked myself, was I letting these things hold me back from the life I wanted to be living? I found, as a read more from Dirk, that I was given an opportunity to evaluate and find ways to overcome obstacles in my life that are holding me back. 

His e-book is both inspiring and motivating, causing me to both contemplate my life and take action. For example, he writes, "Overcoming any personal obstacle that stands between your life right now and the life you want to be living requires you taking action to make it happen," and then he provides solid advice on how to tackle almost any obstacle you encounter. And this is one small example of something I got out of reading the e-book. Here are some more of the benefits one might gain by reading Dirk's insight-filled book: 

 

• Become more creative
• Take more risks
• Create obtainable goals
• Find inspiration 
• Stop waiting, start acting
• Become a great leader
• Cope with anxiety
• Become more confident
• Find one's passion
• Gain emotional control
• Cultivate gratitude
• Find happiness within
• Eliminate negativity 

Yes, all of those things can be found in just one e-book! In fact, if you download Dirk's book, you'll find that there's even more great content that will help you create the life you've been waiting to be living. What I particularly love about the e-book is that Dirk tackles such a variety of topics but weaves them all together to show you just how all of them can help improve your life and upgrade your reality to awesome status. Many books focus narrowly on one issue, which can be good for some things, but Dirk's book covers such an broad spectrum that anyone can (and will!) benefit from reading it. 

One section I, of course, particularly loved was the section on "Self Esteem/Positivity." In this section, Dirk helps readers develop self-esteem by eliminating self doubt, negative thoughts, and self-limiting beliefs. If you are ever faced with doubt (and who isn't?), this section of the book is for you. Dirk's straight forward and helpful words will get right to the core of how you can get rid of negative thinking and being a more confident, positive person. As someone who tackles the issue of positivity on a daily basis, I was very impressed with Dirk's section on how to be positive -- and that's just one of the many great segments of the book. 

If you're looking for a great, inspiring book to read, be sure to download Dirk's Upgrade Reality. No matter what you need to be inspired by or for in your life, this e-book will certainly provide you will tons of great wisdom. I'm always reading, both books and online, and I rarely come across something so comprehensive as Upgrade Reality. And if you haven't already done so, I'd highly recommend checking out Dirk's blog as well, also called Upgrade Reality. You can visit him and learn more about him, self-improvement, and the e-book at UpgradeReality.com. Reading the e-book and reading the blog are two surefire ways to achieve awesome by upgrading your reality. 

  

it's never too late: 5 steps for becoming who you want to be

A few months ago I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and picked up on this amazing quote, which stuck with me long after the (very long) film had ended. At one point in the film, Benjamin is giving his take on life, a collection of life lessons that I found to be incredibly powerful (and true!). Here, read them for yourself:
 
 

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit; stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same; there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

 

After hearing these words, I thought back to a night not too long ago when I was lying in bed and thinking to myself, "Why do I keep thinking about writing a novel? It's never really going to happen. I should just stop thinking about it and talking about it. I should just give up. I thought it would be written and published by now. I thought I'd be smiling at people from the back of my book by this point. But I'm not. I'm still doing what I've been doing so I might as well just forget it." Yes, those words were swirling around the mind of Ms. Positively Present herself. It was then that I realized that I was doing the very thing I tell my readers not to do all the time -- I was focusing on what wasn't working for me in my life instead of what was. And, instead of taking action about what I wanted to change, I was dwelling on how things weren't going my way. 

It was after revisiting the quote above and coming to the realization that I was exactly who I didn't want to be -- someone who sat around doing nothing while complaining that her life wasn't going the way she wanted it to -- that I recognized the desperate need for change in my own life. I came to the understanding that, contrary to my own negative thinking, I really wasn't too late for me to work on and someday reach my goal of writing a novel. I came to the understanding that, if I wanted it to happen, I was going to have to make it happen. 

It's one thing to come to some exciting realizations. It's quite another to actually take action on them. So many people have great ideas, huge dreams, and lofty goals, but how many people actually take action? I don't want to be one of those people who dreams of something and never works to make it a reality. However, making dreams a reality can often involve risk and risk is a scary thing. It's hard to put faith in yourself and really believe that you have the ability to do whatever is it that you want to do. But that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to develop a plan that will help me be the me I want to be. And here's what I'm going to do...

5 Steps for Becoming the Me I Want to Be

Step 1: Believe. First and foremost, I have to believe in myself. I have to believe that I can achieve what I want to achieve. If I let my mind be flooded with doubts, I will only become my own worst enemy. As you may know, it can be a lot harder to believe in yourself than it is to believe in others, but I know it's an essential first step to getting on the path to making my dreams a reality. 

Step 2: Think. As much as I'd just love to dive in head first to my dreams, creating a plan is essential and I have to give a lot of thought to what I'm going to do and what will be impacted by my new-found dedication to making my dream a reality. Once I've gotten an idea in my head, it can be hard for me not to simply react, but it's imperative that I give some careful thought to what I want and how I'm going to get it. 

Step 3: Plot. After giving all of the issues surrounding my goals careful thought and consideration, it's time to start plotting. It's time to take all of the little bits and pieces of what I've dreamed of for so long and start making it into a reality. This is the hardest part of any dreamer's plan. When you have big dreams, it's hard to focus on the nitty gritty details of getting it all done, but if I want this to be real, I have to develop a plan of action. 

Step 4: Act. Once the plotting's done and there's a plan in place, it will be time to act. The acting can be the hardest part. The risks will come into play here and it will be a leap of faith (in myself!) that will have to propel myself forward. I will have to take action if I want my dream to be real and I know these actions will be scary -- but I also know that if I believe in myself and look around at all of the other people who believe in me, I'll be able to take that leap. 

Step 5: Create. Finally, the fun part will begin. Once I've figured it all out and taken action, I'll be able to begin creating, taking those dreams of mine and pulling them down to reality. This will be the step I'll be thinking of as I'm thinking and plotting and acting. It will be the motivator and the best reward for all of the work it will take to get to this point. It won't be an easy step (maybe even the hardest of all!), but it will be the most rewarding. 

For so long, I've had dreams and I always had that "someday" mentality. Now I wake and realize that it is someday and there's no magical formula that will turn dreams into reality. Unless, of course, you believe that hard work and a lot of effort can swirl together and be considered magic. It's taken me a long time to really start making an effort to do what I've always wanted to do. I've always had this idea that it was something that would just happen and I was waiting for that day when it would. Now I'm no longer waiting. I'm working toward that goal and, lucky for me, I'm not alone. I have so many wonderful, supportive people in my life and I know they will help me take these dreams of mine and turn them into something I can hold in my hand. It's not going to be easy, but I have a good feeling that, in the end, it will all be worth it... And, as George Elliot said, "It's never too late to be who you might have been." 
 

What advice to you have for a dreamer like me? 
How do you make your dreams into reality?

Photo Credit: (♥)

positive change: a closer look at closest closet

  (♥)
 

Today's post is the first in a new segment on Positively Present called "Positive Change." Posts labeled "Positive Change" will be featured periodically on Positively Present and will highlight the people, websites, and organizations that are striving to make the world a more positive place. As we all know, there is a lot of negativity in our world today and it makes me incredibly happy when I notice those really making an effort to make the world more positive. This first post focuses on the organization Closest Closet, which strives to "help you and your community save money and the planet by working together to conserve resources and share items and skills for free."

It was a few weeks ago that Joanna, creator of Closet Closet, contacted me to share information about her website with me. As she suggested to me in her initial email, there is a close link between her brainstorm-turned-reality site and Positively Present. Living a a positive life in the present requires a great deal of introspection and understanding of one's self, but it also requires that one be open to the idea of sharing the world around him or her with others. Life, when you think about it, really requires a lot of sharing. We share space. We share things. We share ideas. We share a great deal with the people around us. But, as Joanna has noticed, we could be sharing even more than we already do. According to Joanna, "Closest Closet unites members from any community around the globe to "share" household or business items and skills for free. Members can also recycle unwanted and recyclable materials directly to the local people who need them. The more items and skills shared, the less a community needs, thus building strong, self sustaining communities at no cost. As a byproduct of shared goods, the need for mass production of new goods decreases, and global carbon emission rates drop."

I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds like an awesome idea. Why wouldn't we want to share more with the people around us? Why wouldn't we want to get rid of the things we no longer use and lend them to others? Why wouldn't we want to offer our skills in exchange for someone else's skill that we might be lacking? To me, it sounds like an ideal situation. Closest Closet, "the one-stop web service for communities," allows its "members connect with neighbors or local businesses to borrow or lend items, give away unwanted items directly to those who need them, collect or save recyclable materials for others, or ask someone near them for help with a particular task, all for free." For free! How awesome is that?

How does it work? Well, as Joanna puts it,"Closest Closet works when 'requiring' that all members 'share' ten items and/or skills, in any combination of their own choosing with classified ads. In a community of 100 active members, that provides 1,000 items and/or skills remaining listed at any given time. By requiring members to participate, we remind people that we all have something to offer our communities, no matter what society has said about what our skills are worth. It also teaches us what it means to live in a community, and reminds us that we are all responsible for giving and taking." When it comes down to it, Closest Closet is all about giving and taking, which is what all of our relationships should be about.

Already, Closet Closet has an powerful and positive impact on the communities using its services. Joanna notes that "members are volunteering to provide skills such as reading to children at libraries, hosting tea parties, providing child care, teaching cooking or sewing, providing meals to the elderly, painting, photography, and more," and "members have made items such as books, college textbooks, baking supplies, craft supplies, party supplies, games, tools, pet supplies, and even space for use available to their communities." In addition, Closest Closet also positively impacts communities in other ways, including...

  

• Community Impact: The service will enable communities to remain sustainable by combining the contributions of its members. It encourages people to work together and utilize one another as a "lifestyle," not as a passing trend.By only offering directory services to locally owned and operated providers of goods, services, or foods, we encourage even more community strength by supporting our local economies. As businesses become involved as members, they also have a unique opportunity to connect with the communities they serve.

• Economic Impact: Families, individuals, communities, and businesses will be impacted as contributions are made and received free of charge, thus alleviating the financial burden of making purchases for items only needed temporarily, or skills needed occasionally.

• Environmental Impact: By sharing more physical items within communities, we become self-sustaining. A self-sustaining community purchases less. By purchasing less, a simple supply and demand effect would suggest less mass production. Less mass production means less global carbon emissions forced upon our environment.

Clearly, there are many layers to the impact of a site like Closest Closet. When asked what was the defining moment that led Joanna to make this innovative dream a reality, she replied,"I knew that there was something lacking in me, something that was missing. It was this feeling like I didn't 'belong' to this community that I am in, or any community for that matter. But then I realized that a lot of people probably felt like that, because we are in a society that competes with one another to have more and be better than everyone else. It's exhausting. I wanted to live in another country. I initially thought that I wanted to start my own 'intentional community.' I soon realized that the idea of living intentionally is so new to people, that maybe my mission in life was to get people to wake up and realize that EVERY community has the potential to be an 'intentional community.'" Joanna's idea of an "intentional community" really stuck with me. When I read those words, I really thought about them -- and her idea of Closest Closet -- and I thought, hey, this is really cool. This is the kind of thing we could all be involved and really, truly benefit from. 

As you can see from this post, Closest Closet can have a truly positive impact on the world and it's something we all could take part in and benefit from. Want to participate? Check out www.closestcloset.com and also check out the Closest Closet Blog. And for the most up-to-the-minute info, follow Closest Closet on Twitter @ClosestCloset. 

Do you know of any organizations, websites, or people
who are working hard to make a positive difference in the world?
Comment below, send me an email, or leave me a tweet on @positivepresent
 and tell me about the positive influences you're seeing in the world. 

how to let go of the past & thrive in the present

 (♥)
 

  

While I'm recovering from my little sister's big wedding, I'm featuring a guest post on the site today. Today's guest post was written by Sui Solitaire, a writer and photographer who writes at cynosure about happy, healthy living, especially loving yourself, body image, food and eating, loving others, & loving our planet. Her post about letting go of the past is really a great reminder of why living in the present is so important.
 

Once upon a time, I was a constantly dripping puddle of regret. I regretted almost everything: allowing myself to be in compromising situations where I was hurt badly, be in relationships with people who took advantage of me, where I went to school, where I didn't go to school... it was as if I were always paralyzed with thinking about how the past could have been different, "if only". Slowly, though, I learned to let go of each and every one of my regrets, and even came to realize that without all those terrible experiences, I wouldn't have been able to become a stronger person. Moving on from the past and your regrets can seem difficult, but that's a belief in itself, and remember, the only person in charge of your beliefs and thoughts is you. With a little bit of self-love, gentle awareness, and patience, you can learn to let go of your regrets and thrive in the present!

  

• Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel how you truly feel about it. Without grieving first, you won't be able to make space in your heart for healing. Feel all the emotions you need to feel for as long as you need to, and you'll be able to let go of those emotions because they've run their course. Don't get stuck in a cycle of feeling sorry for yourself, though. Pitying yourself won't help you get over it and will do nothing for you except continue your misery.
  
  

• Choose to stop focusing on the past. You are in command of what you regret and what you hold on to, and by first making the conscious choice to start letting go you can be confident in yourself that you will be able to move on. Feel yourself in the present, your surroundings. Look at the date and time-- it is far and away from whatever it was in the past that caused you grief, simply because it is no longer a part of right now.
  
  

• Think about how you can change the outcome of whatever happened in the present. Could you apologize to someone or do something else right now to change the situation or move on from this? Or if it's a situation that can't be affected at this point, remember that you can't change the outcome. What you can do, however, is choose what you will do next time if a similar situation happens again, or what you do now.
  
  

• Be thankful for everything in the past. Yes, I'm telling you to feel gratitude for anything you regret or think was terrible in your past. Whatever happened is not to be regretted, but instead to be a lesson. If you keep on dwelling on the negative aspects of it, you might miss out on a wonderful opportunity to grow. Think about how you can learn from this or how it's made you into a more resilient and capable person. When you realize that it might have actually just been a challenge to help you become a more resilient and awesome person, you can set yourself free.
  
  

• Remind yourself that you're in the present and that the past literally doesn't exist anymore. The past can't affect you in any way... unless you let it. Don't let it. You have control over what you let affects you; forbid it from affecting you anymore. Imagine it's a person; tell it how you feel, honestly. Tell your past that you are going to stop letting it make you feel a certain way. You are strong.
  
  

• Stop thinking about it. First be aware of your thoughts and let them come and go freely, and be conscious of when you're thinking of the past. Don't try to suppress them when they first arise seemingly naturally, but by being aware of them you can be aware of your choice to create those thoughts. You are in control of your own mind. Make the choice to think of the past less and less often.
  
  

• Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, feel yourself exhaling the negative feelings. Breathe in life and the present, breathe out what no longer exists (the past). Do this several times. Try to imagine your regret as something you're holding in your hand (or heart), and slowly, gently, let it go. This may take a few tries, or you might have to do it every time your mind thinks of it again, but you'll feel better a little more each time you do.

Sui Solitaire is a lover, writer, and photographer who writes at cynosure about happy, healthy living, especially loving yourself, body image, food and eating, loving others, & loving our planet (with a mix of photography and her own story too!). Her book, Pleiades, an anthology of her best poetry & prose from the last decade, is coming your way this summer. You can read more articles or get them by RSS, follow her on Twitter @rvxn or Facebook, and check out her photography.

learn to hold on to the past (without losing the present)

 (♥)

Have you ever had one of those days that felt so absolutely perfect that you wanted it to last forever? I know I have and, even as I'm trying to live my life in the present moment, it can be hard to stay focused when I know that, at some point, the perfect moment will be over. For me, thinking about the end of a perfect moment is one of those things that can drag me down when I'm in the moment, making it pretty to be present -- or positive. We all know that those breathtakingly perfect moments can't last, but there are ways we can hold on to them so that they are not lost forever, while still managing to live a very present life. 

In holding onto moments and memories, it's essential not to get bogged down in the idea that they are more valuable than what you are experiencing right now. Remember: the only time you really, truly have is now so it's pretty pointless to waste time dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. That being said, I do think it's important to keep some particularly special moments with us, even as we live our lives in the present. There has to be, as with most things, a balance between remembering the wonderful experiences we've had and remembering to enjoy the life we're living right now. 

How can we strike a balance between living in the now and remember the good times? I've given this one some thought and come up with a few suggestions that should work for anyone -- no matter what your past or your present situations are. As you read these suggestions, keep in mind that the way to live your most positive life is to stay focused on the present -- but that doesn't mean we can't make a little room for the good things in our pasts. 

How To Hold On To The Past (Without Losing Your Present)

• Save your most treasured memories in a special place. One of the best ways to help you feel as if you're not losing a special moment is to save a memento from it and keep it in a safe place where you can go back and look at it again. Or, take pictures of the moments that mean the most to you and hang them where you can see them all the time. 

• Look for the good you remember in the moments you're living. A lot of the time we can find some of that good from our memories in the moments we're living right now. Take the time to look around and notice what's happening in your current moments to see if there are any of those memory-making qualities. Memories all start with a moment and it's important to realize that all moments will someday be memories. 

• Appreciate what you had -- and what you still have. Of course it's essential to recognize what once mattered so much to you and be grateful for the good times and experiences you've had, but it's also just as important to appreciate what you have right now. I understand that not every moment can be an amazing experience you want to hold on to forever, but each moment is valuable and it's so important to appreciate every single one. 

• Know what to hang on to and what you must let go of. It can be tempting to cling to memories (a.k.a., the past), especially when they have positive connotations, but you have to consider what's really valuable and what's not. This is important both in terms of physical mementos and mental memories. You only have so much space so it's up to you to determine what you really want to place the most value on. Remember: too much of the past (even the good past) can weigh you down. 

• Remember that living now doesn't mean you're missing out. Sometimes, when you've had a particularly good experience, it can be hard to move forward because you feel as if you're losing a part of that experience with every passing moment. Keep in mind that just because you're living in the moment doesn't mean you're not conscious of the good things that have happened to you. Being present doesn't mean you're losing the best parts of your past; it simply means you're making the most of those memories right now.    

• Share your memories with others, especially those who were present. One of the best ways to keep good memories close to you in the present is to share them with others. Whether you have photographs or merely recollections of an event, sharing those stories now can be a great way to make them last. It's especially great if you can share them with those who took part in the moment and connect with you now about things that happened in the past. 

It can be hard to live in the moment when you're longing for a moment gone by, but it's possible to be both present and nostalgic. I completely understand that there are some moments that you don't want to forget and it can be hard to be present when you want to return again and again to those moments. That being said, if you want to live a truly positive life, it's so important to live in the now. Hopefully the tips listed above will help you to live in the moment without forgetting about the good times you've already experienced. While it can be very detrimental to let the past rule your life, I think it's great if you can indulge in the past in small doses and doing this can, in fact, help to enhance the present moment. As you can see from the ideas above, it is possible to hold on to the past -- without losing sight of the present. 

How to you stay focused on the present
 without losing sight of your past? 
What are some of the best ways to enjoy memories
 without letting them dominate the present?

  

the best beginning: 7 tips for starting out strong

 (♥)
 

Today is my first day at my new job. I'll be honest with you, my loyal readers: I'm nervous. I don't want to be; I want to be excited and over-joyed that I'm starting a new job, which I'm sure will be filled with awesome new experiences and great new people, and I am excited, but I'm also nervous. It's been a long time since I've started a new job (over three years, to be exact!), and, back then, I had no idea what I was getting into. Having survived my first real job, I now know all of the ins and outs of what a job entails -- and that makes me all the more nervous to start a new one. 

As I embark on this new journey, I'm spending a lot of time thinking about how I can make the most of it and have the most positive possible experience in my new environment. Overcome at times with nerves, I've found that it's not always easy to stay positive, but I'm doing my best to focus on the good things and not let my mind get carried away with all of those "What if..." scenarios. After all, thinking about the possible things that could go wrong is certainly not a good way to focus on the present moment. If I want to live in the moment, I have to focus on what's happening now -- not what could someday happen. 

The only moment I have is now, and the only beginning I have is this one. There will never be another beginning exactly like this one. I will never again be able to come back to this job as the new girl, the one who is just starting on her very first day. There is only one first day and it's one of the most important days because it's that first impression that often sticks with people. Not to put too much pressure on them, but beginnings are very important and, for that reason, I want to make my new beginning as positive as possible. I might be nervous and I might be uncertain, but I'm going to do whatever I can to make the most of my first day at my new job. 

As I've been enjoying a week off and a week of preparation for the new gig, I've been thinking about ways to make the most of my first day. While I was thinking about how I can be both positive and present during my first day at work, I started realizing that the ideas I was coming up with could apply to almost any new beginning. Whether you're starting a new job like me or going through another big change in your life, you can use the tips I've outlined below to make the most of your new beginning. 

How To Make the Most of Any Beginning

• Be mentally prepared. This can be one of the hardest parts of embracing a new situation -- preparing mentally. It's easy enough to choose the right outfit and do your research on the new journey you're embarking on, but preparing mentally is a totally different story. It takes a lot more time and effort to get yourself in a good mental place as you begin something new, but this is critical. If you're not mentally prepared for whatever you're diving into, whatever you encounter will be much more difficult. For that reason, it's so important to take the time to prepare yourself for what's ahead. This preparation will, of course, depend on your particular situation, but do whatever you can to be mentally prepared for what's ahead. 
  
  

• Have a good attitude. As you're beginning something new, one of the best things you can do for yourself (and the situation) is have a good attitude. Yes, this seems obvious and cliche, but it's much more important that people often realize. New situations are intimidating and scary and can often be overshadowed by negative thoughts and doubts. Don't let this happen to you. When you find yourself in a new situation, focus on the positive things about that situation. There will inevitably be good and bad in any situation, but if you choose to focus on the good things, you'll make any new beginning more enjoyable.
  
  

• Keep an open mind. When you find yourself in a new place, surrounded by new people and things, it can be tempting to close your mind and remember what you used to know. New things aren't always that easy to embrace -- but don't let a closed mind hold you back. If you go into any situation with a closed mind, you'll find that you're not living up to your full potential. You're restricting yourself and limiting yourself to the goodness that lies within any situation. If you look for it, it's there. No matter what you face at a new beginning, don't close your mind to it. Look at it with fresh eyes and keep your mind wide open. 
  
  

• Pay attention to details. First days and new experiences can be overwhelming for sure. You'll find yourself on sensory overload, trying to pick up on all of the new terms, new sights, new places. You'll be overwhelmed by all of the introductions and all of the excitement of spending time in a new place. But, no matter how overwhelmed you feel, remember not to ignore the details. The details of a place can help to bring it all in to perspective. You shouldn't ignore the big picture, of course, but the details will help to ground you in the moment. Be attentive and mindful and you'll find the situations you encounter be much more manageable. Embrace the now by paying attention to the details. 
  
  

• Ask questions. You, in a new situation, will be wondering many things. You'll be unsure about where to go, where to put your things, where you're supposed to be at specific times, and when you're supposed to be attending to specific tasks. There are many things to consider at a new beginning and it can become a daunting task to manage it all in your mind. When you find yourself wondering why or what or when, ask. It may seem easier to think you'll figure it out later or someone will tell you, but, believe me, if you want to know something about your new situation, the best way to get information is to ask. Ask, ask, ask. A lot. It will put your mind at ease and make the situation much less intimidating. 
  
  

• Be friendly to everyone. As much as I love to share my insights on positivity, I'm not always Ms. Friendly, especially when I'm overwhelmed or nervous. Like many people, when I'm uncertain about a situation, I'm focusing on myself. But this is something I'm going to work hard to avoid on my first day. I'm going to do my best not to worry about how I'm feeling (nervous... unsettled... unsure...), and, instead, I'm going to focus on being friendly to everyone I meet. There's a lot to take in during a beginning, but a great way to put yourself at ease is to put others at ease with your friendly attitude. I know that, no matter what I find myself up against, a smile will make it all that much easier to handle. 
  
  

• Determine your goals. Even though there is a great deal going on at a beginning and it can be hard to know where or what or when you have to get things done, one of the most important things you can do to start off on the right foot is to determine what your goals are. If you have goals and purpose for your new situation, you'll be able to get through the trickiness of the beginning and you'll have a big picture to focus on. Everyone's goals will be unique, but whatever your goals are, they should be clear to you from the beginning. Once you establish what you want out of a situation, you'll be much happier to be in it. 

Starting something new -- a job, a class, a school -- can be intimidating. It can be so difficult to go into a situation not knowing what to expect and holding onto only your hope for the best, but I'm a firm believer that attitude is everything. If you go into any situation with a good attitude, you're guaranteed to have better results than if you went into that same situation with a bad attitude. No matter how intimidating a situation is, it's important to keep in mind that, no matter what, you are you and you can handle any situation that comes your way -- especially if you have the right attitude.  

How to you make the most of a beginning? 
What can you add to my suggestions? 

why you need to be your own hero (and how to do it!)

 

After discovering this awesome image on Tumblr (my new obsession, as those of you who follow me on Twitter know... you can find Positively Present on Tumblr here), I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be your own hero. Many people spend such a great deal of time waiting around for someone to save them. There are quite a few poor souls, feeling stranded and alone, waiting for fate to swoop in and save the day. They are sitting where they are, looking around hopefully for a white knight or a Superman. Not to dash anyone's dreams, but, let's be serious: there is no such thing a knight in shining armor and I'm pretty sure Superman is a figment of someone's creative imagination. It would be wonderful if we could all just sit around and someday be saved from whatever it is that is making us unhappy, but that's not the way life works.

Yes, in some cases, we can be (and will be) saved. Love can save us. Opportunities can save us. Wonderful and kind people can save us. But more often than not, it will be up to us to save ourselves. Lately I've seen a lot of people in my life -- including myself -- being their own heroes, and it's been very inspiring for me to see. There are many ways one can save his or herself, but lately I've seen a lot of heroism when it comes to career choices. It's a tough job world out there, and it can be very tempting to sit back and complain, to soak in the negativity (because, hey, it's not too hard to find in an economy like this one) and just settle for whatever comes along. 

Lately, I've been inspired by people who aren't just sitting back and waiting for the someday when they will be saved from their unhappy careers. I've seen two of my best friends taking action when it came to their jobs. Here's the back story: Both friends were ready for career changes and were fortunate enough to find new, and seemingly great, jobs even in this troublesome economy. They both started their new jobs and quickly realized that they weren't all they'd thought they would be. Both friends were incredibly unhappy in their new positions. So did they settled into their new roles and call me complaining and whining about their new gigs? Nope! They both did what they could to be their own heroes, and, instead of waiting for someone or something to save them, they got up and took action, reaching out to their contacts and making valiant efforts to secure new positions. Because of their career-oriented heroism, one of them has already started a new job while the other has plans to do so very soon. 

Clearly, these two have inspired me, and they helped to realize that no one was going to save me from being unhappy in my career. If I wasn't enjoying what I was doing, it was up to me to make a change. And, you know what? I did! I've taken the stories of my inspiring friends and I'm making it into my own reality. Whether it's a job or a relationship or anything else in your life that you feel you need to be saved from, you have to remember this: you can be your own hero. Yes, there is a slim chance that someone will come along and save you. It happens. But if you wait for that, you could be waiting forever. 

After a long time of waiting, hoping, and wishing, I finally stopped dreaming of someday and began to take control of what was cause negativity in my life. It took a long time for me to get up the courage and strength to do what I knew needed to be done, but here is the tale of my recent attempt to be my own hero...

  

How To Be Your Own Hero

Stop waiting. 

For a long time, I wasn't happy with my career and I was sitting around waiting for something to happen. I would periodically look for new jobs but I wouldn't put in a ton of effort. I just thought that someday something would happen and I would find myself in a new position. Ah, that notion of being "discovered" -- such an American ideal I think so many of us keep tucked inside of our hearts, hoping that someday we will just bump into Oprah on the street and the pages of our hand-scribbled novel will just catch her eye (oh, wait, that's probably just me...). As much as I would find that to be a dream come true, I got to a point when I finally realized: no one is going to save me. I had to take control of this myself. 

Take action.  

If I didn't like what was happening in my life, I had to make changes. I couldn't sit around and hope for someone to discover me or randomly offer me my dream job. I wasn't getting anywhere but frustrated as I sat behind my desk and pondered the likelihood of incredibly well-connected people reading my blog. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. And I started looking for a job. This is, under normal circumstances, a daunting and unpleasant task. There are forms to fill out, countless websites to visit and scan for job listings, and dozens of letters and emails to be sent. Under normal circumstances, this is a frustrating and usually thankless task. Add the undeniable phrase "bad economy" to the mix and it starts to feel pretty darn hopeless. It was frustrating to look for a job, to say the least. But I did it. I took action and did what I had to do to make things happen. 

Don't give up. 

Under normal circumstances, job-hunting is a frustrating and often thankless task. Add the undeniable phrase "bad economy" to the mix and it starts to feel pretty darn hopeless. There were days when I certainly wanted to give up. There are days when I would come home from work, exhausted and drained, and it took every once of strength to turn on my computer and start looking for jobs. For months I didn't hear anything. I sent out resume after resume and still nothing. But I didn't give up. As tempting as it was to throw in the towel and just stay in my current position, I found ways to motivate myself and I got creative. Just as I was about to give up, I sent out an email to my friends and family asking for help and, within a day, I had two interviews lined up. Those interviews must have put the Law of Attraction into play because, shortly after that, more interviews started rolling in. 

Be brave. 

While, of course, the interviewing process was scary and a bit overwhelming, it was a welcome change to the dull task of submitting resumes online. As welcome as this change was and as much as it was a move in a positive direction regarding the job hunt, it was scary to know that a new job might become a reality. When I first started looking, it was just that -- looking -- but, all of the sudden I found myself in a suit, striding into new offices and shaking hands with the hope that they would pick me. I wanted to be picked, and yet I was terrified of the change. It would have been easy, even at this point, to forget the whole thing -- but I didn't. Inside me I found something that resembled bravery and I keep moving forward until, one lucky day, I was offered not one but two jobs. 

Choose wisely.

All of the sudden I had not one but two companies that wanted me -- me! -- to work for them. It was exciting and motivating and confidence-boosting. It was what I'd been waiting for. Only now I was faced with three choices: accept company #1's offer, accept company #2's offer, or stay at my current company. All three choices had their pluses and minuses. It was as I was debating these three that I wrote The Power of Positive Choices: 7 Tips for Choosing Wisely. It was a difficult decision, but I followed my own advice and found myself making the choice to go with my gut instinct and take a job offered by a company that, for a variety of reasons, just gave me a good feeling. It is only now that I am realizing that I chose, for once, to save myself rather than waiting for someone to save me. I chose to make a change -- scary as it seemed -- and I chose to be my own hero. 

And after three years of waiting, today is the last day in this office. Today is the last day here and the first day of my new career. Today is a day I will look back on and think: You know what? This didn't just happen. I made this happen. The desk is being packed because I stopped waiting. The goodbyes are being said because I took action. The keys are being handed over because I didn't give up. This afternoon I will drive away without looking back because I am brave. And I will start a new job with an excited, positive attitude because I chose wisely. What will happen now, I don't know for sure, but what I do know is that, with a positive attitude and a fierce determination, I managed to become my own hero. 

hide and seek: how to find opportunities

 (♥)
 

"Opportunity is missed by most people 
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

Thomas Edison

Opportunities are everywhere. You know this. I know this. But then why does it sometimes seem so hard to find them? So often we say we want more opportunities and, yet, we do not know where to find them. Whether you are searching for opportunities for your career or for a new relationship or for some chance to succeed, the key to finding opportunities is to realize that, much as you might want them to, they're not going to magically appear. 

As I've taken a look around, with the idea of opportunities in mind, I’ve discovered that most people are not finding opportunities because they're not looking for them. Simple, yes, but so true. Think about a game of hide-and-seek. What if you were the seeker and you decided that, instead of looking for those in hiding, you would just plop down in a comfy chair and whine, “Why can’t I find anyone? Where are they?” Certainly it would be no surprise that you didn’t find anyone if you were just sitting there complaining. And that’s what so many are doing. People everywhere are sitting in a comfy chairs and wondering why they don't have more opportunities. What we must realize is that opportunities are hiding everywhere. And it’s up to us to seek them out.

Many, as they continue to do what they've always been doing, are wondering why they haven’t come across any amazing opportunities in a miraculous twist of fate. It seems to me that sitting around wondering why opportunities aren't popping up everywhere is equivalent to, in a game of hide-and-seek, wondering why someone wouldn’t choose to hide right in front of the chair where you're sitting. eyes half-covered and counting to ten. Hiding in obvious places just isn't how the game works. Just like those hiding in a game of hide-and-seek, opportunities might be nearby, but they’re not necessarily going to be right there in your line of vision. You have to turn your head. You have to get out of your comfy chair and look around in order to find them.

While I'd certainly advise going in search of opportunities, I don't think it's a good idea to go on a search without a plan of attack. For this reason, I've developed a plan to help you find opportunities -- wherever they may be hiding. You know they’re there, hiding, waiting to be found, and it's up to you to get up and search for them. So here’s the plan…

…be open.

By being open, you will expose myself to all kinds of people. Strive to listen openly, think openly, and make choices openly. And do what you can to strive to live a limitless life, taking no ideas off the table and thinking of every experience as a potential opportunity.

…be proactive.

By being proactive, you're choosing to take the search for opportunities into your own hands. You're not waiting around for someone to grant a wish or save you. You're looking around, opening your eyes, and being active in your quest for opportunities. 

…be social.

By being social, you will engage with more types of people and increase your exposure to networking opportunities, which is a great way to find new opportunities. By attending more work events, more social functions, and more family gatherings, you'll open yourself up to opportunities that would otherwise be hidden from you.

…be watchful.

By being watchful, you are keeping a keen eye on everything, knowing that opportunities can be hiding anywhere.You never know when you might come across a clue that will lead you to the opportunity you've been waiting for. Because of this, keep my eyes and ears open always.  

…be creative.

By being creative, you're work to think of new and innovative ways to find opportunities. Certainly the internet and social connections are great ways to find opportunities, but other ways can you make opportunities for yourself? It’s possible to create them if only we put some effort into it.

…be positive.

By being positive, you'll remind myself that finding opportunities takes time. As you know, they can be very good at hiding and it's up to you to be clever and diligent in your search for them. Being positive will remind you that, no matter how long it takes, you will find them.

As I noted before, finding opportunities isn’t always easy, but it is always possible. Opportunities are everywhere. We just have to know where to look and we have to be persistent in our search. It’s a game of hide-and-seek, but there are lots and lots of opportunities hiding everywhere, making it pretty likely that, as long as you get out of your current comfortable position and have a look around, you’ll find one that's perfect for you.

 

How do you look for opportunities?
What suggestions would you add to the ones I mentioned?

Reader's Note: Did you know there was a FREE download on Positively Present earlier this week? If you haven't had a chance to grab my FREE download, check it out the post and get your FREE PDF copy of "Words To Live By".  

 

time to spring back to life

 (♥)
 
   "An optimist is the human personification of spring."

Susan Bissonette

 

 

 

Where I am, spring has definitely sprung and, even though it can be a rain-soaked mess sometimes, it's a wonderful season that brings us out of winter and into summer. Today's post is a guest post by Gilbert, creator of one of my favorite blogs, Soul Hiker. If you haven't checked out his work yet, I'd definitely suggest you make a little trip over to his site. Today you can read about his thoughts on how to spring back into life now that the season of spring has arrived. For more on spring, check out a recent post I wrote called "A Celebration of Spring: 13 Ways to Enjoy the Weather." 

Spring is with us again. This is a moment of the year that we all welcome with great enthusiasm and joy. Spring is an ambassador of fresh new things, hope, regeneration and change. Nature re-awakens itself with buzzing new life and we start changing our wardrobe in theme with the changing season. As we start leaving the cold winter days behind we look forward to new plans, prospects and adventures. Spring is the time where like nature we take the opportunity to reinvent ourselves and start things afresh. How much are you aligned with the spirit of Spring? Are you ready to re-awaken and boldly break out of your cocoon and flap your wings? Make this Spring an opportunity to ponder about the following action points:

    

 

• Spring clean your mental & physical clutter: Spring is definitely time for de-cluttering your room, desk, office, apartment or garage and make way for sparkling new space. Similarly it is also an opportunity for removing certain mental clutter such as old fears and worries, side-projects which never gave fruit or thoughts about things you shouldn't be really wasting your time on.

• Open the window to your soul: Spring is a moment for rekindling your spirit with new hopes and dreams, aspirations and enthusiasm. In order to do this we must first open ourselves to change. It's about the readiness to accept change consciously. It's incredible how things bloom into being just by setting our hearts and minds to it in a conscious way. 

• Take time for a fresh outlook: This goes hand in hand with the previous point. Whilst we are under the influence of Spring's magic we must take the time to reassess our old perspectives on life, be openly critical about them (in the positive sense) and widen our horizons with a fresh new outlook on life. Example: changing our outlook on relationships with others, health and aging, love, family life, etc. 

• Get out of your cocoon and fly: With change comes bold decisions. It's time to give a shot at those long held dreams and projects about a new job, business start-up, new adventure, starting that degree, etc. 

• Spin out a web of new ideas: Ideas are the driver of change. There can be no real change without new ideas. I find this part as being the most fun. So open up that note pad, white board or favorite mind-mapping software and let your genie out of the bottle. 

• Regenerate your wellbeing: Change is best when it is a holistic one. That is we have to refresh our mind, spirit and body. So as we take the initiative to recharge our mind and spirit we cannot do without regenerating our physical health too. Of course good health should be upheld all year round but if like me you have slipped back a notch or two in physical exercise during the winter months then this is the time to dust off your runner shoes. 

• Get in touch with nature: Spring is synonymous with nature's beauty. As nature comes to life it calls us to join her in. It's a beautiful time for long country walks, nature retreats or outdoor activities. This is our best chance to be inspired by nature and be surrounded with its full splendor.

 

This post was written by Gilbert, the author of Soul Hiker. For more great articles by Gilbert make sure to visit his Soul Hiker. And to keep up with Gilbert, subscribe to his posts here or follow him on Twitter or Facebook.

the power of positive choices: 7 tips for choosing wisely

 (♥)
 

Alice came to the fork in the road.
 “Which road do I take?” she asked.
  “Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
 “I don’t know,” Alice answered.
 “Then,” said the cat, “it doesn't matter.”

 Lewis Carroll 
 Alice in Wonderland

As any adult knows, life is filled with choices. Life wouldn't be the same without them -- and who would want to give them up? -- but they can definitely make life tricky sometimes. Throughout our lives we often find ourselves standing at the end of a road, wondering whether or not we should turn left or right. Sometimes we find ourselves on the same road we've been traveling down, yet we find ourselves yearning to take a turn down a different street. The wonderful thing is that we have a choice. Unfortunately, the hardest thing is also the fact that we have a choice. So often we come to a place in our lives where we can decide whether we want something to stay the same or we want our lives to change, and it can be really difficult to make large, life-changing decisions. Even more difficult can be the challenge of staying positive as you're struggling to determine what choice is best for you. 

This week I found myself in this very position. I have the opportunity to make a big life change, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to take the leap. Change has always been something I've done my best to steer clear of (especially when it comes to the big things), but I've reached a point in this situation where I feel like change might really be the best thing for me. As I weigh the pros and cons of keeping things the same or making a change, I find myself struggling to look for the positive, to realize that whatever situation I choose will be the right situation for me. Getting caught up in the future of potential change or weighed down by the reminders of changes in the past, I find myself unable to stay in the present. My mind is racing with "What ifs..." and "Remember whens..." I like things to be very clear cut and, as we all know so well, so often they are not that way. 

Life has a funny way of avoiding black and white. It's always logged somewhere in a state of grey and it's up to us to use our skills and our knowledge and our support systems to figure out what's best for us. Amid all of the clutter and noise and shading, there are answers. Beneath all of our expectations and realizations and estimations, there is the truth. There is the one answer we need. If only it were that easy to reach that answer. For most of us, it is buried. It is hiding. It is sometimes clear, but then it fades away when we are shaking ourselves out of a perfect reverie with pros and cons, with the ups and the downs. The most frustrating thing about this is that we know there is an answer. We know we will reach that answer. We just don't know when. 

Over the past few days I've been in a battle with myself, contemplating the pros and cons of my situation and weighing out all of the options. When one is toying with the idea of changing his or her life, everything suddenly becomes much more important. Every detail, every day, has more merit than the last. I think in terms of ideal situations. I want perfection. I also realize that, at this point in time, it is not attainable. So what's a girl to do? She must analyze and consider and discuss and weigh and confer until eventually, finally, thankfully, she arrives at a conclusion. And, through it all, she must keep her mind open and her thoughts positive. 

It's been a tough couple of days, trying to sort through it all and keep my chin up while doing so, but, as I finally arrived at answer today I realized that I've learned a lot from this experience. Making big life choices is part of being an adult (something that, at twenty-six, I'm still getting used to) and it's something that will happen over and over again. The question is not what the choices will be or even what decisions we will make when we come to them, but the question is: how will we handle ourselves when faced with the choice between what we know and what we have not yet experienced? Over the past few days, I have to say I've learned a lot about this and these are some of the things I've come up with: 

7 Tips for Choosing Wisely
 

• Listen to your instinct. When I was first faced with the choice, I had a gut instinct. Before I gave into the pros and cons lists and asking my friends and family for their opinions there was just me standing at a crossroads, instinctively knowing what choice I wanted to make. The other day I read this quote: "When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin...because in that brief moment when that coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you were hoping for." You instinctively know what you want. Don't ignore that instinct. 

• Weigh the pros and cons. While I really do believe that it's essential to listen to that first instinct, I also recognize the importance of weighing the pros and cons. Though I can give into my emotional side a bit too often, I'm generally a logical person and I think listening to logic can be vital when making big decisions. Take some time and thoroughly analyze the pros and cons of each situation. In most cases, there will be both good and bad. Recognize that and then work to determine which situation will provide you with the most good and least bad. 

• Get outside input. I'm a big fan of listening to myself and making my own decisions, but I cannot deny the value of getting input from others. When it comes to making big life decisions you may have to make them with others in mind, but sometimes it might be all up to you. In my situation, it's completely up to me. But that doesn't mean I don't value the input of others. I want to know what they have to say and I want to get a variety of opinions. These words of wisdom will help me to make the best possible decision. 

• Don't let fear decide. One of the greatest foes I've come up against through this decision making process is fear. I've been battling it throughout weighing the pros and cons and as I was listening to the advice of others. Big changes can be scary. Making choices can be intimidating. One thing I find creeping into my decision making process is fear. It leads to believe that keeping things the same is better and that change is not worth the risk. I'm learning to push that fear aside and recognizing that I need to make a choice that's based on what's best for me, not a choice based on avoiding what I am afraid of. 

• Do what's best for you. And that last point brings us to this: you have to do what's right for you. This can be hard to determine sometimes when you're weighing all of the options and getting various words of advice, but ultimately you have to focus on yourself. Tune everything else out and really ask yourself, "What is the right choice for me?" If you took away all of the details and distractions and "What if" questions, you'll come to the realization that you know what's best for you. Once you determine what's best for you the question is: are you going to do what's best for you? Sometimes this is much easier realized than acted upon... 

• Trust in yourself. This ties in with the first point, but it's not entirely the same. Once you've done all of the things above and you reach a decision, you may find yourself stepping back and questioning the choice your about to make. Even after all of the work you've done to get to this point, your mind might be filled with doubts. Don't let those doubts overcome you. Remind yourself that you are doing what's best for you and you've taken great steps to come to this conclusion. Believe in the choice you've made and, above all, remind yourself that everything is happening just as it should. 

• Don't ever look back. Once you've made your choice, make sure that you commit yourself to it and refuse to look back. It's easy to begin doubting your choice, but looking back and wondering about what could have happened if you had made a different choice will do you no good. You have to make a decision and stick to it. At times it may not even seem like it was the right choice, but you have to keep reminding yourself that everything is happening for a reason and those choices are the choices you made because they were the choices you were meant to make. Know that everything will work out the way it's supposed to and that you have done the very best you could to make your decisions. 

No matter what you're faced with, making big life decisions is never easy. In fact, it's one of the most challenging things about life. But it's also one of the most amazing things about life. There are people in this world that have no choice at all. They have no options and no outlets for change. As terrifying as change and choice can be at times, can you imagine how terrifying it would be not to have the ability to choose? Choice can be, and always will be intimidating, but when I think about it I realize that it really is a privilege. I am fortunate to have the ability to choose and it's up to me to make the most of my options and do what I can to choose wisely. 

What advice would you add to this list? 
How to you make big life decisions?