How to Distance Yourself from Negativity

  No Negativity - Positively Present

If you're reading this, you're probably striving to live a positive, present life — and you probably know just how hard that can be at times. Life is filled with negative situations, people, and internal battles, which makes staying positive a tad challenging sometimes (and by "sometimes" I mean "most of the time").

As I posted last week (here on Instagram — didn't write it, but I 100% support it), "The first step to getting what you want is having the courage to walk away from what you don't." And that most certainly applies to creating more positivity in your life. If you want more positivity, you've got to make room for it — and that means getting rid of the negative. It's no easy task, but here are some of the best tips and tricks for getting rid of the negative so you can make room for the positive. (And, I know well from experience, the more space you make for positive things, the more positive things will find their way to you!)

 

  1. AVOID NEGATIVE PEOPLE (OBVI)

    This sounds so obvious, but really, how often do you really ask yourself, "Is this person a positive or a negative influence?" Most of us kind of just go with the flow when it comes to who we surround ourselves with, but, in many cases, we have a choice about who we interact with, and we don't always avoid the negative. Pay attention to how people make you feel, and if you determine someone is a negative influence (you'll know because you feel drained, down, or just icky after hanging out with them), stop hanging out with him/her or, if that's not an option, do what you can to limit the amount of interactions. 


  2. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES + KEEP THEM

    You might have seen the memo Steve Harvey wrote to his staff circulating (and being mocked), but it's a pretty amazing example of someone setting boundaries and making them very clear to those around them. We're all different and have different ideas of what our boundaries should be, but one of the best ways to avoid negative interactions is to know what your boundaries are (especially with other people!), communicate those boundaries clearly, and maintain those boundaries ruthlessly. This is hard (even if you're good at it), but it's one the best ways to limit negativity (and practice self-love, too!).


  3. LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS, NOT PROBLEMS

    We all have problems — that's just life. But what most of us don't do is redirect our attention from the problems to the potential solutions. As humans, we're often on the lookout for what could go wrong (it's our instinct, trying to help us avoid bad situations), but if you want to cut back on negativity, try shifting your focus from what's going wrong to how you might be able to make it right. Yes, it's easier to complain, but when did whining ever get you anywhere? The more you treat problems like challenges you have the opportunity to solve, the more likely you'll be to actually find solutions (and limit negativity!). 


  4. PRACTICE NOT TAKING IT PERSONALLY

    So, so many issues in relationships (and maybe in the world?) could be avoided if people strived not to take things personally. It's difficult not to do this (after all, we're with ourselves all the time and, even if you don't realize it, your world really does revolve around you and what you're doing, feeling and thinking), but you can cut down on negativity by not taking what others say and do personally. More often than not, another person's attitude, words, and actions have way more to do with him or her than they do with you, and realizing that will make it easier not to be offended, thus cutting down on negative emotions!


  5. RELEASE THE NEED FOR CONTROL

    This probably comes as no surprise, but you can't control what other people do and feel (much as you might want to!). Realizing this (and keeping it in mind all the time!) will greatly reduce the amount of frustration you feel. So much angst comes from trying to make others different than they are, and acceptance is critical for positive relationships (and for cutting down on your own stress!). This doesn't apply only to people, either. There are many things we cannot control in life, and accepting what is is the best way to create more inner calm. 


  6. PRIORITIZE SELF-LOVE

    Self-love has been a huge focus for me this year, and, as a result of prioritizing it, I've noticed a number of positive changes in my life. Self-love is about respecting, caring for, and taking care of yourself. When you make this a priority, you're going to be able to more easily make choices that are best for you. Whenever you face a new decision, ask yourself, "What would be the most self-loving choice?" then choose that! The more you do this, the less time you'll have to waste on anything (or any person!) that brings you down. 


  7. KEEP THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

    To us, our lives seem so big and important, but remember: you're just a tiny little creature on a little rock in a gigantic galaxy in a stunningly huge universe. This isn't meant to make you feel insignificant (you aren't!), but it's meant to remind you that, in the grand scheme of things (even within your own life!), most situations are pretty small. Keeping perspective (and focusing on how lucky you are to have at least some things going right in your life) is a great way to manage stress, and less stress = less negativity. 


  8. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU SAY

    How much of what you say is negative? How much is positive? We often get in patterns and are so used to doing (or saying!) something a certain way that we just keep doing it that way. But, in order to cut back on negative thinking and speaking, you've got to realize you're doing it! Pay attention to how you're describing things, and consider if you might be able to change that. For example, saying, "Ugh, Mondays!" isn't helping you make the most of your Monday. Sure, it might not be your favorite day of the week, but framing it from a negative perspective is going to keep it negative. 


  9. CHOOSE YOUR MEDIA WISELY

    Where you spend your time is going to have a big impact on your thinking. How much of what you consume on TV, via social media, in films and online is actually positive? How much of it is making you more optimistic and engaged with your life? How much of it makes you feel sad or stressed or overwhelmed? This isn't to say you should never watch or read anything upsetting, but if you want to have a more positive life, you need balance, and you need to keep in mind that you have a choice. Take note of how certain shows / sites / etc. make you feel and actively choose whether or not you want to spend time engaging with them. 


  10. CONSIDER IF "I CAN'T..." IS TRUE

    Many of us get quite set in our ways (especially as we get older!), and it's all too easy to say, "I can't..." Sure, there might be things you actually cannot do, but it's way more likely that "I can't" is actually "I don't want to" or "I don't yet know how to." Saying you can't do something not only limits you (if you think you can't, you probably won't even try), but it's also a pretty negative mindset to put yourself in (regardless of whether or not you actually do the thing). So, instead of saying "can't" consider what the truth is: that you don't want to, don't yet know how, don't feel up to it, etc. Doing so will help cultivate more internal positivity. 


  11. SEEK OUT POSITIVE INSPIRATION

    There's a lot of negativity out there, but there's also a lot of positivity, too. If you want to cut back on negativity in your life, fill up your time with positive inspiration. Seek out people, activities, websites, etc. that add positivity to your life and inspire you. We all struggle with negative feelings and thoughts, and it can make a big difference if you have some go-to resources to check out when you're having a down day. (Or a go-to friend you can call for a positive pick-me-up!) Try to incorporate something inspiring into every day, and you'll be giving yourself a daily boost of positivity! 


These tips are the best place to get started when it comes to distancing yourself from negativity, but it's important to remember that choosing positivity isn't easy (especially if, like me, it doesn't come naturally to you!). If you find yourself struggling to stay positive, know that you're not alone and remind yourself that it takes practice. And the more negativity you remove from your life, the more room you'll have for practicing that positivity! 

  

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10 Positive Benefits of Having a Sibling

  Sister

 

Happy birthday to my little sister! 🎉


Since she's celebrating her birthday today, it seems like the perfect time to talk about the positive benefits of having a sibling. Like all human-to-human interactions, sibling relationships vary wildly. Some people cannot imagine life without siblings; some people would give anything for that to be a reality. Most people are probably somewhere in the middle — at times, overcome with gratitude and love; at others, irritated beyond belief — but no matter where you fall on the sibling-love spectrum, there are some great benefits of having siblings in your life. 


I spent sometime this week reflecting on how lucky I am to have a sister (and doing a bit of research on scientific evidence for why siblings are great).  Read on to uncover some of the reasons why having a sibling is awesome! 

 

Continue reading "10 Positive Benefits of Having a Sibling" »


The Great 8 Challenge + 8 Years of Blogging!

 

See Something
 

February 14 marks eight years since I wrote my first blog post on Positively Present! It's been an amazing ride so far, and I can't wait to see where things go from here. In celebration, I'm going to be sharing eight great things that have happened since that day I wrote my first post. But first, I wanted to challenge you to do something this week. Don't worry -- it's easy, and it'll actually feel really great! 

 

THE GREAT 8 CHALLENGE

As I was writing this post in celebration of the past eight years and reflecting on how grateful I am to have this experience, I was reminded of my ultimate goal (as a writer and as a human): to somehow make the world a little bit better. I know I'm not alone in this. Most of us want to make the world better, but sometimes that task can feel daunting.

If I've learned one thing over the past eight years, it's that little things can make a big difference. This week, I encourage you to give the Great 8 Challenge a try. It's simple: all you have to do is give eight compliments. Yep, that's it! If you see someone wearing something you like, tell him/her. If you read something that inspires you, email the author. If you you spot a post on Instagram you love, write a comment. 

It might seem small, especially in a world where we need grand gestures of kindness and compassion, but a positive word has a ripple effect. After all, think about the last compliment you received. Didn't it just feel so great to hear someone say something nice to you? And think about the last time you gave a compliment. That felt pretty great too, didn't it? Those great feelings can multiply. A compliment might feel like a small thing, but it ultimately can have a great big impact. 

This week, if you see something beautiful / inspiring / amazing / cool, say something. Aim for eight compliments, but go for more if you can! 

 

POSITIVELY PRESENT'S GREAT 8

And, now, on to eight great things about Positively Present!

Now, this might seem like I'm tooting my own horn, writing about eight great things about my own blog, but here's the thing: a blog is bigger than the person that writes it. As much as I use this platform as a tool to share my words and art, it's been greatly influenced by the readers. When I'm writing, I'm thinking about you. In fact, when I'm living, I'm often thinking about you, imagining how I can turn my life into something more positive, more present, more self-loving to share with you. So, yes, there's an element of horn-tooting here, but none of these things would have happened without your engagement, interest, and input. 

Here are eight great things that've happened (and I've learned from) since February 14, 2009. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being with me and helping making these things happen. I hope that reading about them will inspire you, too! 

 

  1. PP GOT ME OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE. 

    If you've been following since the beginning, you might recall how shy I was at first. It took me two months to even mention my first name! I'm not a shy person in real life (though I am incredibly introverted!), but online it took a lot of courage for me to come out of my little comfort zone and open about who I was. Since then, I've come a long way -- sharing more personal information, opening up about tough topics, and connecting with readers in real life. I still struggle with venturing out of my comfort zone at times, but Positively Present continues to inspire me to try new things. 


  2. PP PROVED ALL THE HATERS WRONG. 

    I don't have a lot of haters, but there are some people in my life (and even a little voice in my own head) who didn't think I could do what I'd always wanted to do -- be an independent writer not answering to a boss or going into an office every day. Through the power of the internet, I've been able to make my ideal work scenario a reality. I used to spend nights crying about going into the office, and I remember one guy in particular saying something along the lines of, "That's life. Get used to it." Because of this site, I didn't have to get used to living a life I hated. 


  3. PP MADE MY LIFE-LONG DREAM COME TRUE. 

    Not only did Positively Present give me the opportunity to live a work life outside of the box, but it also provided a platform on which I was able to make my life-long dream come true: publishing a book! Not only did I write and publish a book, but so far I've written six of them! If you want to check them out, here they are: Stay Positive: Daily Reminders from Positively Present, The Positively Present Guide to Life, Living in the Moment, Gratitude, Compassion, and Forgiveness. Plus, I'm working on a new one right now and I'm SO excited to share it soon! 


  4. PP TAUGHT ME TO FAIL + BE OKAY WITH IT. 

    As with any career path, I've had some major highs and lows. Because this isn't a traditional job, it's been a lot of trial and error (and it's still a work-in-progress!). I've spent hours and hours on e-books that no one bought. I've poured my heart and soul into blog posts that few people read. I've spent money on ideas and products that never quite gave me a return on my investment. Working for myself is hard. There are lots of failures that, thinking about now, make me cringe a bit. But I've learned to bounce back, to be resilient, and to learn from the failures. 


  5. PP INSPIRED ME TO LEARN NEW THINGS. 

    And, speaking of learning, one of the absolute greatest things that's happened as a result of this blog is the opportunity and desire I had to explore graphic design. It was something that had always interested me, but I never thought I could do it since I hadn't studied it in school. Because of Positively Present, I sought out online classes, spent countless hours learning, and now have my own little design business! If you want to work with me, check out DaniDiPirro.com for more info and my portfolio. 


  6. PP CONNECTED ME WITH AMAZING PEOPLE. 

    One thing almost every blogger can agree on is that blogging is an amazing opportunity to connect with people around the world. Whether it's someone from across the globe emailing me about a blog post I wrote or connecting in real life with people in my blogging industry, one of the most amazing things that's happened as a result of Positively Present is that I've created meaningful connections with so many wonderful, creative, soulful, inspiring people. I will be forever grateful for everyone I've met as a result of this site. 


  7. PP HELPED ME BECOME MORE ME. 

    One of the most thrilling aspects of running a site that is 100% my own is that it's an on-going act of self-love and self-exploration. In sharing my words and work with you, I'm learning more about myself every day. Through Positively Present, I've been given a unique opportunity to help others improve their lives while also greatly improving my own. With every blog post, I learn something new. With every Instagram post, I discover a new kind of creativity. Every lesson learned is a gift I'll be forever thankful for. 


  8. PP CHANGE HOW I SEE THE WORLD. 

    Of course, most importantly, Positively Present has changed how I see every single aspect of my life. While, admittedly, I'm not positive and present every moment of every day, I strive for it constantly and I'm always asking myself, "What would I tell my readers?" This question is simple, but it's had a profound impact on my life. It's helped me enjoy and embrace life's highs, and it's helped me survive life's lows. The work I do impacts my mind (and life!) every single day, and that's certainly not something I expected when I started it eight years ago! 


This site has changed me for the better in so many ways, and I'm thankful for it every single day. More than that, though, I'm thankful for YOU. Thank you for reading, for engaging, for being with me today and in the past. I know how many options there are when it comes to reading online content, and every moment you spend on this site is kind of a miracle. Thank you for being here, for reading this, and for taking the time to make your life a more positive, present place. 

Now, get out there and spread that positivity with those eight great compliments! :) 

 

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