positively present

positive change: a closer look at closest closet

  (♥)
 

Today's post is the first in a new segment on Positively Present called "Positive Change." Posts labeled "Positive Change" will be featured periodically on Positively Present and will highlight the people, websites, and organizations that are striving to make the world a more positive place. As we all know, there is a lot of negativity in our world today and it makes me incredibly happy when I notice those really making an effort to make the world more positive. This first post focuses on the organization Closest Closet, which strives to "help you and your community save money and the planet by working together to conserve resources and share items and skills for free."

It was a few weeks ago that Joanna, creator of Closet Closet, contacted me to share information about her website with me. As she suggested to me in her initial email, there is a close link between her brainstorm-turned-reality site and Positively Present. Living a a positive life in the present requires a great deal of introspection and understanding of one's self, but it also requires that one be open to the idea of sharing the world around him or her with others. Life, when you think about it, really requires a lot of sharing. We share space. We share things. We share ideas. We share a great deal with the people around us. But, as Joanna has noticed, we could be sharing even more than we already do. According to Joanna, "Closest Closet unites members from any community around the globe to "share" household or business items and skills for free. Members can also recycle unwanted and recyclable materials directly to the local people who need them. The more items and skills shared, the less a community needs, thus building strong, self sustaining communities at no cost. As a byproduct of shared goods, the need for mass production of new goods decreases, and global carbon emission rates drop."

I don't know about you, but to me, that sounds like an awesome idea. Why wouldn't we want to share more with the people around us? Why wouldn't we want to get rid of the things we no longer use and lend them to others? Why wouldn't we want to offer our skills in exchange for someone else's skill that we might be lacking? To me, it sounds like an ideal situation. Closest Closet, "the one-stop web service for communities," allows its "members connect with neighbors or local businesses to borrow or lend items, give away unwanted items directly to those who need them, collect or save recyclable materials for others, or ask someone near them for help with a particular task, all for free." For free! How awesome is that?

How does it work? Well, as Joanna puts it,"Closest Closet works when 'requiring' that all members 'share' ten items and/or skills, in any combination of their own choosing with classified ads. In a community of 100 active members, that provides 1,000 items and/or skills remaining listed at any given time. By requiring members to participate, we remind people that we all have something to offer our communities, no matter what society has said about what our skills are worth. It also teaches us what it means to live in a community, and reminds us that we are all responsible for giving and taking." When it comes down to it, Closest Closet is all about giving and taking, which is what all of our relationships should be about.

Already, Closet Closet has an powerful and positive impact on the communities using its services. Joanna notes that "members are volunteering to provide skills such as reading to children at libraries, hosting tea parties, providing child care, teaching cooking or sewing, providing meals to the elderly, painting, photography, and more," and "members have made items such as books, college textbooks, baking supplies, craft supplies, party supplies, games, tools, pet supplies, and even space for use available to their communities." In addition, Closest Closet also positively impacts communities in other ways, including...

  

• Community Impact: The service will enable communities to remain sustainable by combining the contributions of its members. It encourages people to work together and utilize one another as a "lifestyle," not as a passing trend.By only offering directory services to locally owned and operated providers of goods, services, or foods, we encourage even more community strength by supporting our local economies. As businesses become involved as members, they also have a unique opportunity to connect with the communities they serve.

• Economic Impact: Families, individuals, communities, and businesses will be impacted as contributions are made and received free of charge, thus alleviating the financial burden of making purchases for items only needed temporarily, or skills needed occasionally.

• Environmental Impact: By sharing more physical items within communities, we become self-sustaining. A self-sustaining community purchases less. By purchasing less, a simple supply and demand effect would suggest less mass production. Less mass production means less global carbon emissions forced upon our environment.

Clearly, there are many layers to the impact of a site like Closest Closet. When asked what was the defining moment that led Joanna to make this innovative dream a reality, she replied,"I knew that there was something lacking in me, something that was missing. It was this feeling like I didn't 'belong' to this community that I am in, or any community for that matter. But then I realized that a lot of people probably felt like that, because we are in a society that competes with one another to have more and be better than everyone else. It's exhausting. I wanted to live in another country. I initially thought that I wanted to start my own 'intentional community.' I soon realized that the idea of living intentionally is so new to people, that maybe my mission in life was to get people to wake up and realize that EVERY community has the potential to be an 'intentional community.'" Joanna's idea of an "intentional community" really stuck with me. When I read those words, I really thought about them -- and her idea of Closest Closet -- and I thought, hey, this is really cool. This is the kind of thing we could all be involved and really, truly benefit from. 

As you can see from this post, Closest Closet can have a truly positive impact on the world and it's something we all could take part in and benefit from. Want to participate? Check out www.closestcloset.com and also check out the Closest Closet Blog. And for the most up-to-the-minute info, follow Closest Closet on Twitter @ClosestCloset. 

Do you know of any organizations, websites, or people
who are working hard to make a positive difference in the world?
Comment below, send me an email, or leave me a tweet on @positivepresent
 and tell me about the positive influences you're seeing in the world. 

the magic of giving (& first ever giveaway!)

 

  
  
 
  "You give little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give."

Kahlil Gibran
 

Right after Thanksgiving, the topic of giving becomes extra prominent in American culture. Commercials are suddenly all about giving gifts. Stores everywhere are posting signs and decorations claiming that they have just the gift you're looking for. While I have to say that the consumerism of the holiday season does overwhelm me at times, I do love the idea of giving gifts. Cliche as it sounds, the thought really does count and it's so wonderful to see someone open a gift you've taken the time to pick out, purchase, and wrap. Giving is one of those things that makes me feel really happy, really positive, and I'm really looking forward to the season of giving this year -- both in a tangible, gift-wrapped sense and in the abstract way we all give to one another without even realize it.

Just think about how much you give on a daily basis -- your time, your love, your attention, your thoughts, your words -- and you'll be amazed. Giving gifts is wonderful, but there's a lot more to giving than just gifts. It's something we all do, all the time, without even realizing it. Just right now I'm giving of myself by writing this post. Right now you're giving of yourself by reading this post. We're all giving (and taking!) without even realizing it, which is one of the reasons giving is so magical. It's something that takes on a life of its own without most of us even realizing what an impact it has on our everyday lives. This year, while I'm sure I'll still be giving lots and lots of gifts, I also want to think about just how magical giving can be and how I can give more of myself to others.

The Magic of Giving 

Gift giving is truly magic. It's something we can all do and it doesn't necessarily require money. The more I've thought about gift giving lately (and who isn't thinking about it a lot at this time of year?!), the more I've realized just how much giving gifts helps me to stay positive and to stay present. For as long as I can remember, giving has been something that has excited me. Yes, at times it's stressed me out too (I can picture myself standing in the middle of the mall frantically thinking, "What in the world am going to get her?!?"), but for the most part, giving really does bring me a lot of happiness. I love spending time thinking about what someone else might like. Because of this, I find that I am more alert when the people close to me are speaking. I'm always listening for clues, wondering if their words could somehow be transformed into the perfect gift. For this reason, gift giving actually helps me to stay present, to stay focused on the moment and what others are saying. 

Gift giving keeps me present -- tuned into what those around me are saying and wanting -- and it also keeps me positive. Giving gifts makes me feel great because it makes other people feel great. Of course it's awesome to make yourself feel good, but there's nothing quite making someone else smile, is there? And that's what gifts are symbolic of -- that sharing of a good feeling. It's pretty awesome, really, that we can pick something out, give that something to someone else, and see how happy it makes that person. It may seem materialistic and unnecessary to some, but the act of giving gifts really means a lot to me. It's something that shows others that you care, that you're thinking of them, and, most importantly, that what they like and care about matters to you.

That being said, I realize that it's not just about gifts, is it? I was sitting here, struggling to think of how I could write about gift giving without it coming out entirely cliche, and a book on my shelf caught my eye. I reached over and brought it to my desk, cracking it open to today's date. Oddly enough, the passage in Courage To Change read: "If I so choose I can regard everything that happens in my life as a gift from which I can learn and grow." Just seeing the word "gift" made me smile because I realized that I didn't need to write a lengthy post on how giving is great and how we should give more of ourselves. All I needed to do was realize that life -- and everything in it -- is a gift. Life really is a gift and all of the things we experience in it are amazing. We have the ability to share our experiences, our gifts, with others as well. We can do this through the actual telling of what we've experience or we can do this through more subtle ways, such as a smile or a hug. We have the ability to share our talents as gifts by doing what we're good at and sharing it with the world. 

Around this time of year the act of giving really becomes a focus, but we all know that material things aren't always the kinds of gifts others need to receive. Giving doesn't all have to do with a pretty bow and a perfect package. There are so many ways we can give to others... countless ways, in fact! The holiday season really brings gift-giving to mind, but today I want to think about it in a different way. I want to think about it as something I can do by just being me. We all can give just by being who we are. Giving is such a wonderful thing and there are so many ways to give. We don't need to shop or wrap or stress (though I'm sure we will do a lot of those things). We just to be. That alone is a gift in and of itself and it really is pure magic. I'd love to hear about how you've  experienced the magic of giving in your own life so tell me... 

What's the best thing you've been given? 
What is the best thing you've given someone else? 

(Answer either of these and follow the rules below and you could have a chance to WIN!) 

The Giveaway

Since today I wrote about giving, I thought it would be a great day to have my very first giveaway on Positively Present. The other day I came across this amazing site -- Vol 25 -- and I'm so pleased that the creator, Jessica, agreed to give away a print to one lucky reader today. Jessica's work is amazing and it's such a honor to be able to highlight her awesome talent on Positively Present. Jessica describes herself as "a completely self-taught artist, constantly inspired by every day moments." She is a mother to a very dramatic five-year-old princess and she also has a seventeen-month-old daughter who she more accurately describes as a monkey. She married her husband and best friend (aww!) six years ago. With each piece of art she creates, it is her hope that it will give at least one person the warm fuzzies. Jessica told me that a heartfelt customer testimonial is just about the greatest payment you can receive.  Want to enter for a chance to win any $20 print from Vol 25? Here are the rules... 

Leave a comment below with the following information: 

• Tell me what's the best thing you've given or been given
• Let me know which print you like best (see Vol 25's website for all $20 prints)
• Include your email address so I can contact you if you win

Leave an extra comment for each of the following things you do: 

• Subscribe to Positively Present's RSS feed
• Receive Positively Present via email
• Follow @positivepresent on Twitter
• Mention this post on a social media site
• Email friends/family about this post
• Stumble this post on StumbleUpon

Remember, the more comments you leave, the more chances you have to win, so make sure to leave extra comments if you do any of the things listed below! The winner will be picked at random on Wednesday, December 2, 2009 and will be announced on Friday, December 4, 2009. Don't forget to leave your email in your comments so I can contact the winner! 

kicking ass with kindness

 
(♥)  

I'm honored to be part of an amazing group -- Random Acts of Kick Arse. The group, which includes Life, Laughs, and Lemmings, The Jungle of Life, Jane Be Nimble, Joy Rebel, Operation Nice, has joined together to take part in committing random acts over the course of one month. Each month we have a different "theme" and, for the month of October, the theme was kindness. When I first started thinking about this random acts of kindness project, I had some doubts. First and foremost, I wasn't sure I'd remember to keep up with my random acts of kindness (terrible, I know). What if I forgot to be kind? What if I got to the end of the month and had no random acts to write about?

Secondly, I wasn't sure quite how I felt about random acts of kindness. It wasn't all that long ago that I read (and agreed with) an article on The Happiness Project called "Happiness Myth No. 7: Doing Random Acts of Kindness Brings Happiness." In the article, Gretchen Rubin says, "It’s not bad to practice random acts of kindness. But if you want to build your happiness based on the happiness you bring to other people –- the noblest ways of boosting happiness -– it’s more productive to be targeted. Help a co-worker even when you’re rushing to meet a deadline yourself...Putting money in someone’s meter is just such an unexpected action that there’s a good chance that it won’t be understood correctly." Basically, Rubin believes that, though people like kindness, randomness throws people off and it's not always appreciated.

As Rubin said, it's not bad to be kind in a random fashion, but is it really as productive as we think? I don't know... It's for this reason that I had a hard time with the group project of committing random acts of kindness. I had to wonder, "Would these acts be misinterpreted? Would they be appreciated? Would I honestly feel better, happier, if I performed these acts?" At the beginning of the month, I struggled with this. I wasn't sure what kinds of acts I should perform and, if I did perform them, I wasn't sure what kind of expectations I would have for them. I felt a little bit helpless in the world of random acts, not sure what to do and if whatever I came up with would really be something worth writing about at the end of the month.

So I went back to The Happiness Project and re-read Rubin's article. I realized that the more I thought about, the more I agreed with her. The random things -- like plugging someone's meter or letting a car in front of you in traffic -- are great, but they're not as worthwhile as the less random things -- such as helping a coworker who's super busy or visiting a friend who's upset. I was originally planning to list all of the random acts I did over the month of October, but instead I found myself attempting to help out those around me. I found myself being more attentive to the needs of others and looking around for ways to help those around me make their lives better.

To some, this might sound like something we should be doing all the time -- and I agree with that. We should always be trying to help our friends, our families, or our coworkers. But are we? I don't know about you but I find that I often get wrapped up in whatever I'm doing or get so distracted that my own busy-ness that I forget to really look around me and see what kind things I may be able to do for others. Oddly enough, one of the greatest opportunities for me to be kind to someone else came up over the past month. As you may have read, my mother was pretty sick for about a week with the flu. My mom is rarely sick and rarely asks me to do anything for her, so this was a great opportunity for me to flex my kindness muscles.

One of the things I worried about most when it came to taking on this random acts of kindness project this month was the whole brag factor. Did I really want to do nice things for others and then hop on my website and tell the world about them? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of doing nice things, if you're really only doing them for praise? For that reason, I'm not going to list (or even tell you about) the kind things I strived to do over the past month. Instead, I'm going to tell you this: being kind to other people makes you feel great. No matter whether I did a small kind thing or a big kind thing, I felt good while I was doing it and it left me with an after glow of happiness. If you're considering doing something kind for someone else, I'd suggest you get on that. It makes other people feel good and it makes you feel great.

Since I'm not going to list all of the kind things I did this month (but I did them! I swear!), I'm going to give you some advice based on what I've learned over the past month as I pondered the concept of kindness in my own life. Kindness should come naturally, it should be something we do without thinking about it, but that's not always the case. For those of you who'd like to incorporate more kindness in your life, check out my ideas below.

How To Kick Ass with Kindness
 

• Pay attention to the lives around you. This sounds easy enough, but think about how often you get caught up in your own life and don't really pay attention to the lives of those around you? I find that this happens to me a lot, and it's pretty hard to really, truly be kind to others when you're completely caught up in your own life. It's really important to look around you and pay attention to what's going on with other people. Don't wait for someone to come for you and ask you for help. Reach out to him or her and spread that kindness around! 

• Listen to what people are saying. It's so important to listen to what other people are saying. And don't just listen to the words that are coming out of their mouths. Listen to what the meaning is behind those words. Listen to what people are not saying. Sometimes it's what people don't say that's really important. One of the greatest ways to find out how you can help other people and treat them with kindness is to listen to them. Sounds easy, but it's even easier to ignore the true meaning in another's words. Listen up and address the words of others with kindness.  

• Treat yourself with kindness always. It's pretty hard to be kind to others if you're not kind to yourself. It's interesting, actually, when you look at some of the nicest, kindest people and realize that they're really hard on themselves. Some of the nicest people I know treat themselves pretty harshly. If you really want to be open to committing acts of kindness, you have to treat yourself with kindness. Be nice to yourself. Treat yourself kindly and be nice to your mind and your body. If you do this, you'll be much more able to treat others with kindness as well. 

• Look out for the underdogs in life. Some people naturally cheer for the underdogs in life, but many of us don't really pay that much attention to the little guy. It's not that we're mean to the underdogs, but we might not notice them because they're usually not as loud or showy as some of the big dogs. While you're paying attention to the lives of those around you and being conscious of what others might need, look to see who's not speaking up, who's getting buried by the noise and chaos of others. It's often those that aren't speaking up or voicing their problems that need the most help. If you're able to offer someone else a bit of kindness -- even if it's just a kind word -- you can really make a difference in the life of an underdog. 

• Go out of your way for others. While I never believe you make other people the priority in your life, I do think it's important to find ways to go out of your way for other people. It's easy to do things for others that benefit you as well, but what can you do for someone else that really requires you to go out of your way for him or her? Sometimes it's a pain in the ass to go out of your way for someone else, but it's such a great way to spread kindness. People don't often expect you to go out of your way for them so it can be such a pleasant surprise for them when you do. Give it a try and see what happens! 

 

I hope these tips have inspired to you to spread kindness in your own life. I know we should always be doing this, but don't think I don't know how easy it is to get caught up in other things and not think about treating others with kindness. Sometimes it's just a matter of going from neutral to kind. Just because you're not being mean or cruel doesn't mean you're being kind. This month has given me a chance to really think about kindness and how I can incorporate it into my life. I can say for a fact that acting out of kindness has really helped me to be happier this month -- and nothing brought a smile to my face when I received a hand written note thanking me for being so kind. Take these suggestions and see how you can incorporate more kindness into your life! 

How do you spread kindness to those around you? 
What is your opinion on random acts of kindness? 

because i knew you i am changed for good

 

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

Well, it may never be
That we'll meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

"For Good"
from Wicked

This weekend I had the awesome privilege of seeing Wicked on Broadway. It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and one of the best things about it for me was that, rather than focus on a romantic situation as most plays do, this one focused primarily on friendship, something I don't think we, as a culture, discuss as much as we should. For example, just the other day I was talking with a friend about how hard it is when friendships end. We talk on and on and on about romantic heartache, but rarely address the issue of how painful it can be to lose a friend. As someone who has lost a few (to drama, to death, to misunderstandings), I know just how painful that loss can be. Wicked addresses the topic of friendship in a way that I rarely see in media and I just adored the play, the actors, the plot. If you haven't seen it, you should. Really. It's amazing. Anyway, when I arrived back from NYC I discovered (via blog posting and Twitter) that the first Sunday in August (today!) is Friendship Day. How perfectly timed this was with my Wicked experience! I knew right away that I would write about friendship when I saw the play and it couldn't have been more fitting that today is Friendship Day.

Before I go on, I must pause and say Happy Friendship Day to all of my amazing, wonderful friends out there. I have the good fortune to have some really loyal, trustworthy, caring friends and I am so lucky to have them. In addition, I have the joy of having all of my online friends who are always so supportive and encouraging of me and my blogs. Happy Friendship Day to all of you and thank you, thank you, thank you for being the wonderful, giving, awesome people you are. Without my friends, I don't know where I would be so thank you all for being there, for supporting me, for making me the person I am today. You have all -- in some way -- changed me, not only for good, but for the better. Thank you.

The Early Years

Now that all of the sappy stuff is out of the way, I want to talk about friendship. When you're a kid, it seems easy. Okay, maybe not easy, but it seems easier to understand. Either you're someone's friend or you're not. You have your BFFs (best friends forever!), you have your close friends, you have some friends that you'd invite to your birthday party but you don't really care all that much for. To me, childhood friendships were pretty darn simple. Sure, there were some dramatic years (fourth grade, to be precise), but it was a lot easier to relate to one another than it seems to be now, as adults. Perhaps that was because we were all pretty open -- being ourselves and just living in the moments of childhood -- but it seems like friendships were easier back then.

The Teen Years

In high school they got more complicated due to what I like to think of as the B + J + 3Ds (Boys + Jealousy + Drinking/Drugs/Drama). All of those contributed quite a bit to the unique dynamics of many of my high school (and college) friendships. However, that's just me and, of course, keep in mine that I went to an all-girls, Catholic school. That tidbit of information might help you to better understand my complex perspective on friendships a bit more. Though, I must be honest, I'm sure plenty of girls that went to all girls schools had amazing, lasting friendships. I have a few great ones that I'm so thankful for (love you, Christine and Blair!), but, for the most part, it was a lot of cattiness, competition, and cruelty -- things I definitely don't have in my friendships today.

The Grown-Up Years

Today I am lucky to have some really great friends -- people I interact with daily, people I share my deepest thoughts with, people who aren't always in my everyday life, but who I love dearly and who love me back, even if it's from a distance. I am incredibly lucky when it comes to friendships. I have a great best friend at work. I have not one but three great best friends out of work. I have a few close friends that I treasure, many of which live all over the country. I have family members who are like best friends. I have a bunch of new online friends who are amazing. I often sit back and think, "Ugh, I'm alone," but, really, I'm so not. This post has reminded me to think about -- and be thankful for -- all of the great people in my life.

Changed for Good

Because of my friendships, I have been changed. As I was watching Wicked, I thought back to a friend that I had when I lived in California. She was, I'd thought, my closest friend out there. Then something happened. Something bad. Instead of standing by my side, as I imagined a friend would do during a difficult time, she went behind my back and started saying things about me that just weren't true. Though I could understand, to some extent, why she thought those things, it was incredibly hurtful to find out from another (who is now one of my great friends!) that she was saying such things about me. I was instantly transported back to high school -- a time of cattiness and pettiness and jealousy -- and I hated it. I was, to put it mildly, miserable. If it weren't for my new friend, I don't know how I would have survived. As I watched the play, I thought back to the girl who had hurt me (and, for those who have seen the play, is not all that far off from the character of Glinda) and I forgave her. It's been years since this all happened and for years I've been telling myself that she was an awful, spiteful person. I've been hurting myself even more, I've realized, by doing this. It felt good to finally forgive her and even better to realize that my friendship with her served a purpose. She changed me for good and she changed me for the better. Though I didn't know it back then, she was making me stronger, better just by saying hurtful things about me. Though I knew her only for a short time and have no contact with her now, she changed my life for the better. All of the sadness, the hurt, made me a better person.

And that's what friendships -- even those that seem wasted -- do. They make you better. They change you. We often think about this concept in relation to romantic relationships. I myself wrote a post the other day on how to deal with a broken heart. We tell ourselves that a broken heart will make you stronger, better, but what about a broken friendship? It does the same thing. We can see the good in it, the positive, even when it doesn't seem like there is any. When I think back on that friendship with that girl in California, I know there was good in it. She taught me things, even if those were lessons on what I didn't want to be. I learned from her that I didn't want to be negative. I didn't want to be whiny. I didn't want to treat others as if they were beneath me. I learned from her that I didn't want to focus only on my looks, that I wanted to have a career that didn't involve head shots and casting calls. I learned that I didn't want to bring other people down or date a guy that was too scared of being alone to leave me. I learned that I didn't want to be a bad friend, the kind of person that would hurt other people just to stir up trouble, to be the center of attention, to make her life less boring. I learned I wanted to have a really close group of good friends rather than a bunch of girls that spent time with me just to up the numbers of people they had at a party. I learned a lot from this girl. And this was someone I knew only for a short time and had a not-so-pleasant experience with. Just think of all the wonderful, inspiring things I learn from all of my friends on a daily basis!

Friendships come and go. Some are for life, some are only passing, fleeting moments that we share with other people, but all of them change us. They change us for good, and many change us for the better. I am so fortunate to be in the company of such amazing people in my life. I am so lucky to have friends that love me, challenge me, teach me, push me, and want the best for me. Every day my friends change me without even knowing it. Every day they make me better. To them, and to all of you reading this post, Happy Friendship Day!

What does friendship mean to you?
How and what do you learn from your friendships?

are you a g.o.o.d. person?

  

"It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we gain but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity." Francis Bacon

During my weekly therapy session this week, the topic of integrity came up. "What is integrity?" my therapist asked me. I stared blankly at her. I knew what it was. At least I thought I did...Immediately after our session, I rushed back to work and Googled "integrity." Of course I came across some of the most interesting things...The first thing I stumbled upon was the definition of the word. According to Merriam-Webster's online dictionary, integrity is: (1) adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; (2) an unimpaired condition; (3) the quality or state of being complete or undivided. Hmmm...not quite what came to mind when I thought about integrity. I decided to give WikiAnswers a shot. Here are some of the ideas others posted when asked the question "What is integrity?":

"Integrity is a very nice balance of self respect and confidence. Integrity comes from the Greek words 'integritas' and 'integra' meaning whole. It enters into any aspect of one's life. It's belief system without faltering no matter how dangerous, how unpopular the person makes themselves to others. Integrity includes: sincerity, keeping one's word and agreements, honesty, truthfulness, ethics, fairness and justice, punctuality and never faltering in what one believes in. Integrity is keeping your good name/character (assuming that it is good). Integrity is having values, being consistent with one's values or belief system, not wavering due to outside influences, standing strong in how one should live and believe. Integrity is always doing the right thing even when no one else is looking. Integrity refers to wholeness as a human being. It means that you have developed into a person whose thoughts, words, and actions are congruent, and therefore do not conflict with each other."

After reading those points I now have a better understanding of what integrity means, both in a literal sense and a general sense. I feel like I have a handle on understanding it now, but does that mean I have it? I'll be honest: I think I possess integrity in certain situations. In others, I seem to take my integrity and chuck it out the window. Every day I'm learning more who I am and who I want to be and I can say for certain that I want to be a person with a lot of integrity. To me, being a person with integrity means being a good person. But what is a "good" person? The word is so subjective. The world is so subjective as well. It's hard to know what "good" really means in relation to a person's integrity. So instead of trying to be a good person, I'm going to work on being a G.O.O.D. person. What is a G.O.O.D. person, exactly? Well, if you want to know more it looks like you'll just have to keep on reading!

A G.O.O.D. Person Is...

Genuinely interested in giving to others. Most people would probably say they are giving, but are they really? Do they put the needs of others before their own desires (or, at least, in line with their own needs)? Having a genuine interest in the lives of others is one of the surest signs of good character that I've ever seen. It says a lot about a person when s/he listens, gives, cares, and needs other people. Giving is not always about money or even time. Giving is also about putting in mental effort to one's own beliefs and core values so that one can make a better, bigger difference in the lives of others. Being content with oneself and having a clear understanding of what one believes in is actually a form of giving to others. When you work to become right with who you are, to know who you are and believe in that person, you are giving back to the world. For example, the happier I become as a person (yes, it's happening...slowly but surely...), the more positive energy I give off to the world. I smile more. I laugh more. I hug more. I interact more with other people. These are small gifts to the world, but they can, when added up, have a huge impact on the lives of others. These little things are things we can all do to make the world a better place, to live lives as G.O.O.D. people. 
  

Open-minded to opportunity. While a person with integrity should define and stay true to his or her beliefs, a person with integrity is not limited by these beliefs. They should be the foundations of that person but they are foundations that can be built upon. When I think of the word "integrity," what immediately pops into my mind is a boring, rigid, reliable person. Who wants to be that? Not me (well, except for the reliable part). I want to be interesting, exciting, and flexible. I want to be able to build upon the structure of beliefs that I believe are my foundation, and I want to be able to do this while still keeping my integrity. Is that possible? Yes, I believe it is. It's possible to have standards and values and to keep those in mind in everything you do while still being open to new opportunities and ideas. It's so important to stay true to yourself while also being open to others' ideas. If we aren't living open-minded lives, we're forced into tiny boxes of our own beliefs, which may not always be the best ones. I really believe that a G.O.O.D. person is an open-minded person.

One with his/her self and the world. To me, good people are those who see the big picture, who know that life is about more than their own selfish needs. These types of people, sadly, are not all that easy to come by. For example, last night I was on the Metro (the subway system in Washington DC) on my way to see Beyonce perform and, as luck would have it there was also a Nationals (baseball) game going on at the same time. This means the Metro was very crowded. Everyone was squished together and it was not pleasant. When a man in a wheelchair entered the train I was on, everyone was forced to move even closer together (drawing some serious looks of annoyance from some people). At one stop many people were getting off to attend the concert or go to the game and were pushing the man in the wheelchair and exclaiming things that implied their desire for him to move. Personally, this was one of the most selfish things I've witnessed. No one stopped to think about what it might have been like to have been him, probably feeling bad for blocking the way. Everyone was concerned with his or her own plans and destinations. Someone with a sense of self and a good, honest understanding of how s/he fits in the world around him/her would never have acted the way these people acted. Being G.O.O.D. means being able to see that the world is about more than what's going on in your body and its immediate surroundings. It means seeing the world as a whole, as something you are part of (rather than something you're the center of), which isn't always easy.

Dedicated to making life meaningful. Life is meant to be lived with a purpose, with meaning. (At least, that's what I believe.) I also believe that everyone's purpose or meaning for life is unique. Your life's meaning could come from your profession, from your children, from your contributions to your community. Your life's meaning could come from your art, from your spouse, from your volunteer work. In fact, your meaning could come from all of these things at once. Your life is unique to you, and you have to be dedicated to that life in order to be truly G.O.O.D. Life is a gift and it is one we all too easily accept greedily, expecting it and demanding it. But a person with true integrity recognizes the value not only of his/her meaning, but the value of the lives of others. A person with integrity stays true to his/her purpose without devaluing the purpose of another's life. A person with integrity knows what his/her purpose is and works toward it without trampling on the lives of others. This is not always easy to do when presented with a situation that forces you to choose between meeting a goal and damaging someone's goal. A lot of people choose themselves. A lot of people avoid, hurt, cheat, lie, steal, and deceive to get what it is that they want. Not a person with integrity. No, a G.O.O.D. person works towards his/her purpose without causing intentional damage to the lives of others.

So, I bet you're all dying to know if I'm a G.O.O.D. person. Well, yes and no. I do what I can to treat people fairly and honestly. I do my best to be sincere and to stick unwaveringly to my moral values. Am I perfect? Hell no! I've made a lot of mistakes. I've hurt a lot of people (including myself). I've strayed so far from some of my core values that I couldn't even see them with a pair of binoculars in hand. But I'm learning. I'm learning more and more that I'd rather be a person of integrity than achieve whatever current desire I'm seeking. I'd rather be a G.O.O.D. person and see the big picture of my life and the world rather than satisfy my latest whim. It's not always easy. Sometimes I want to take the easy way out, as I'm sure we all probably want to do from time to time. I know I say this a lot, but every day I'm learning more about what it means to be happy with myself and the world I live in. The more confident I become with who I am, the more I truly love myself, the easier it becomes to be a G.O.O.D. person -- a person of integrity.

In general, do you think you're a G.O.O.D. person?
Do you think the concept of a G.O.O.D. person is limiting?
If so, what would you add?

little glimpses of good

 

 

Two days ago I found myself in Hallmark, browsing the aisles for cards.  Almost accidentally, I came across a little book, Little Glimpses of Good. With it's beautifully decorated cover and it's enticing font, it called to me from the little shelf it was sitting on. I picked it up, read the subtitle. Finding hope in every today, I read to myself. Hope is definitely something I'm interested in, so I gently opened the cover and looked inside. The pages were filled with beautiful pictures and even more beautiful words. They jumped off the page at me, sticking to me. Now, I'm not one for purchasing books anywhere but on-line, but I just had to get this one. There was something about it that was so beautiful, that made me so happy. As I paid for the book, I felt almost guilty. $13? For this little book that would take me less than 10 minutes to read? I thought to myself as I handed the Hallmark lady my American Express. Then I reminded myself, You would easily spend this much on a new article of clothing or a meal out with a friend. Why shouldn't you buy this little thing, this book that already, before you've even read it, makes you so happy? With that, I pushed the nagging thoughts out of my mind and slipped the book into my overused bag.

While I don't want to spoil it for you by putting the whole book in this post (though I am tempted since it's not very long and it's so beautiful...but on the inside cover it reads "No portion of this book may be reproduced or stored in a retrieval system or dank, dark, squalid holding cell, or transmitted in any form or by any means--except for brief quotations in reviews--without prior permission from the publisher. So be good; don't be bad. And stealing is bad. That's all we're staying."...and I'm not messin' with Hallmark), I can't help but share a few great quotes with you:

then, sure enough, it rains
(into every life, etc.)
but sometimes you look up at those clouds
and see the shimmer and the gleam
it's rainshine and you just know
it came straight from the silver lining

---

remember letting go of the handlebars?
some days are that kind of ride
so always let your sense
of whether you're about to fall off
or crash into something
be your guide

---

give up despair, abandon bitterness
give cynicism and self-doubt their marching orders
and show them the door
give up everything
you don't need anymore

---

some people say the world is getting worse
but if you look in the right places
it's like finding another world
even a walk around the block might surprise you
can you even believe there's such a thing
as a firefly? or snow under a streetlight?

---

a little aloneness at the end of the day
can be a nice breather
inhale. exhale.
hail to thee, o moment of doing nothing
but simply being
a very good moment for self-seeing

 

Aren't those beautiful? And, really, they pale in comparison to how they look with the illustrations. I just tried looking for the book on Hallmark's and Amazon's websites, but had no luck. If you enjoyed these quotes, I would strongly recommend taking a little trip to your local Hallmark and picking up a copy (hey, it's Saturday -- what else do you have to do?). I give a lot of credit to the author,Jim Howard, and the illustrator, Daniel Miyares. They (and probably the editors at Hallmark too) did a brilliant job of putting together this little book. It really made my day and reading it really reminded me of why I am choosing to spend time focusing on the positive aspects of my life.

I feel like the world is filled with little negativity traps. Things and people and situations that lure me toward negative thinking. I do my best to avoid these traps, but sometimes they pop up out of nowhere and I have to work hard to avoid them, swerving wildly or stopping dead in my tracks and turning around. Sometimes I can get tangled in them and my own negative thoughts. But at those times I will reach to my bookshelf and pull off Little Glimpses of Good. Peering inside, I know I will find just what they've placed there for me: hope.