positively present

go do: staying positive in the 21st century

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Apparently our bodies aren't cut out for living in this century. According to Dr. Andrew Weil, author of Spontaneous Happiness, a great many people struggling to stay positive and happy aren't depressed; they just don't have brains equipped for the 21st century. When I first read the headline "Don't Let Chaos Get You Down" in a recent issue of Newsweek, I was intrigued. My own brain, currently living in the 21st century wondered, "Huh? How could our brains -- many of which were created in the 21st century -- not be equipped to handle the life we're living?" Well, According to Dr. Weil, there more people have, the less likely they are to be happy. Modern life, complete with all of it's comforts and conveniences, seems to create a breeding ground for depression. 

It might seem like a terrible way for the world's wealthiest to explain their personal struggles -- "oh, poor us, we have so much that it makes us sad!" -- but there is some solid logic behind it. You see, we humans weren't designed to live such sedentary lifestyles, eat such processed food, or spend hours and hours overstimulated by television and internet. Nature and in-person bonding have given way to spending extended amounts of time indoors, interacting with monitors and television screens, iPhones and iPads. Not that these are bad things -- in my mind, they are some of the greatest things! -- but we weren't necessarily made for living this lifestyle.

Maybe someday our bodies will adapt, but for our pre-industrial bodies are living in an increasingly modern world. So how do those living in a modern world cope with the negative aspects of it -- the isolation and the detachment from the lives our bodies were designed to be living? Below is the advice of Dr. Weil -- advice that I'm really hoping to make the most of in my own life. 

 

5 Tips for Staying Positive in the 21st Century

1. Learn to be present. Staying mindful is how we used to live. We didn't worry about the future or stress about the past because we were focused on survival and that's what are brains are used to. To be more in sync with yourself, stay in the present moment. 

2. Adjust your sleep cycle. Humans are supposed to sleep when it's dark and be awake when it's light. Strive to sleep in complete darkness (get some dark curtains!) and go outside (or be near windows) during the day to keep your body in line with the natural light. 

3. Interact socially. Tempting as it is to spend time online and consider that "social" time, remember that it's crucial that you interact with others in person. Humans, like most animals, are wired to need social interaction and it's crucial to make interacting with others a priority for your happiness. 

4. Cultivate silence. Not all of the noises in today's world (or many of them, for that matter!) are ones that we're naturally used to. Many of them disturb and startle us, which is why it's a good idea to surround yourself with silence (or at least sounds of nature) whenever you can. 

5. Limit technology use. Much as I love being online, on my iPhone, or on my iPad, those aren't necessarily the most natural states for my body to be in. To create a more positive experience for your body, limit your technology use when you can and reconnect with nature. 

Since I'm no scientist (and have yet to read Dr. Weil's book), I can't confirm or deny that what he says about modern life and its affect on humans is true, but from personal experience I know that information overload, lack of movement, and an increased distance from nature have negative effects on me. The more I practice Dr. Weil's advice, the happier and more at peace I feel. Whether or not you believe in what he's saying, give his tips a try and see if you don't feel closer to the natural self you were born to be. Listen to Dr. Weil's words of wisdom. Instead of noise...choose silence. Instead of typing...start talking. Instead of sitting...go do. 

 

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where's goldie?: searching for what is already there

(♥)

 

On my recent birthday, my parents gifted me with one of the books I loved to have read to me again and again when I was a toddler, Where's Goldie?. Having spotted it online a few months back and having been too astounded at the price tag to purchase it myself, I was thrilled to receive it as a gift. Though the memories of reading that book are somewhat second-hand, I vaguely recall the thrill of hunting for the little gold bird on each of the book's pages. Even at a young age, I was enticed with the idea of knowing what little Maggie, the book's lead character, couldn't see -- that her so-called missing bird Goldie was, in fact, with her all the time.

Driving home the other night after a particularly challenging day at the office, Bright Eyes' We Are Nowhere and It's Now filtered through my stereo. I sang along with the lyrics:

She says these bars are filled with things that kill
By now you probably should have learned
How could you forget that, yellow bird?
How could you forget your yellow bird?

Thinking about the words -- the bars filled with poisons that killed me for so long, the happiness that always seemed to elude me when I was drinking -- my mind wandered back to Where's Goldie?, to the underlying meaning behind the book's title and it hit me: little Goldie was a symbol for our personal happiness. It's the thing we think we've lost -- especially after a hard day -- but is actually always with us. We can search for it, ask others where it might have gone, spend day and night looking for it, but it's always there. It might be hiding, or lurking in the background of our thoughts, but it's there. 

 

Searching for Goldie 

Let me explain a bit about the book for those of you who weren't toddlers (or reading to toddlers) back in the early 1980s. 

In the book, Maggie's bird, Goldie, flies out the window one morning after she lets it out of its cage. Though Maggie runs outside to find Goldie, asking all of her friends, neighbors, pets, and the random policewoman who stops to say hello (certainly different from my experiences with police officers!), no one has seen her little bird. However, on each page, little Goldie is hiding somewhere. Maggie may not have seen Goldie -- perhaps because she was looking so frantically or asking others instead of really looking around herself -- but Goldie was always there. 

In the book, little Maggie returns home for dinner (to sit her in highchair after having spent the entire day traipsing around the neighborhood solo... parenting must have been different in the '80s) and is very unhappy. After searching all day, she still has not found her feathered friend. [Spoiler alert!] When she's finally in bed -- no longer searching for Goldie -- the little bird returns, alighting on her finger and bringing a big smile to her face. 

 

Stop Asking, Stop Looking, Start Living

Like Maggie, so many of us are out there every day looking for happiness. Maybe, like Maggie, we had it once and feel as if we lost it -- like it flew out the window just as Goldie did. Or maybe we feel as if we never had a Goldie and are on the constant hunt for contentment. Either way, many of us are struggling to find happiness on a daily basis. Soul-searchers like me are constantly asking, "What would make me happy? How can I do (or not do) something to make my life more fulfilling?" And, on the down days, "Why am I not happier? What can I do to live a happier life?" I find that, like Maggie, the more I ask where happiness is, the more I get the cop-stopping-to-say-hello telling me she hasn't seen it.

For a long time I was just like Maggie on the cover of the book. I was looking around, hands on my hips, frustrated with the lack of happiness in my life. I was baffled by its absence, certain I must have had it and then misplaced it. I looked, I asked, I searched (mostly online), and still the golden goodness of a happy life seemed to escape me. I went to bed like Maggie did the day she thought her bird was lost forever -- despondent, lonely, and frustrated. 

It wasn't until more recently that I realized that happiness -- my own elusive Goldie -- was with me all along. I hadn't let it out of its cage only to never see it again; I had not lost the happiness, the inner contentment in my life. I'd spent quite a few years of my adult life searching and looking for something that was with me, inside me, no matter where I went. Perhaps I should have -- or maybe I did? -- channeled my childhood self, the one who was able to find Goldie on every single page, every single time. 

 

Stop Being the Character + Start Reading the Story

Of course, it's much easier when you're looking at the big picture from a distance -- holding the pages of the book rather than being a character in the story. That's why it's so important to see the big picture, to read the whole story of what you are. When looking for happiness in our lives, we so often look right around us, asking the people we know, searching in our neighborhood for what we think we've lost. But our lives are bigger than that. You might think you're looking in the right places, but as a character in your own life story, there's a lot you might be missing. It's hard not to get caught up in the questioning, in your own narrative. It's hard to stop and see the big picture. 

But big picture is what happiness is. It's broader, larger, more than just the Q&A, the looking into every nook and cranny. It's all around us -- and inside us. It's bigger than the words on the page, bigger than the questions we ask ourselves and others. Whether you see it or not, it's on every single page of your story. Yes, it might be giving you a sassy can't-catch-me look behind your back, as Goldie seems to be doing on the book's cover, but its is there. Stop looking for it, stop asking about it, and, just like Maggie, you'll soon see that it will reappear, swooping into your life like a little golden bird. 

wish list: 28 things to do before i turn 29

(♥) 

 

Tomorrow at 9:12am I will turn 28 years old.

Yikes. Though I'm creeping up on 30, I feel much closer to 20... or maybe even 16. My mom always says you're only as old as you feel. And though sometimes I do feel like I've learned a lot in these 28 years, making me feel wise beyond my 28 years, more often than not I feel young, alive. I'm excited to learn and experience and see more than I already have. There is still so much to do. I don't feel like there are enough years in my life -- or any life -- to do it all. 

So we must prioritize. We must choose what means the most to us and we must focus on that. Sadly, too many people don't do this. They take whatever comes along and then go with it. They allow their lives to be guided down whatever path suits the people or organizations around them, being pushed and pulled like some sort of seashell in the current. I don't want to be a passive seashell, floating along, bumping along the shore and being swept again back out to sea. 

I want to be steering a ship. Or at least my own tiny boat. I want to choose where I'm going. I want to point myself on my own course and have some control over where this life is headed. It's not always easy to take control, to choose your own path, but I'm taking it one day at a time. And one of the best ways I can think of to take control of my life right now is to decide what I'm going to do with this next year of my life. After all, I'm only 28 once. I better make it awesome! 

Some of them are small things, some are big, but all of them will push me in the direction I want to be going in life. Every year when I have a birthday, I always look back on the past year and forward to the next one. Often, I make grand plans and then find myself disappointed when they don't work out. This year I'm going try something different. I'm going to make 28 mini-plans -- things I really think I can accomplish in the next 12 months -- and I'm going to get to work on them right away. 

I might not love the idea of getting another year older, but I do love the idea of having another year to fill with the 28 things on the list below. 

28 Things To Do Before I Turn 29

1. Write a new short story (fiction!).

2. Visit the Kandinsky art exhibit. 

3. Discover amazing new music every Monday. 

4. Cover my wall with my own art. 

5. Volunteer at an animal shelter. 

6. Eat more fruits + veggies. 

7. Visit Portland, OR + ask about Portlandia. 

8. Learn how to take great photos with my DSLR. 

9. Get something (an article?) published. 

10. Keep adding money to my savings. 

11. Summit an entry to Postsecret.

12. Take Bella for more walks. 

13. Make this cool art for my apartment. 

14. Stop watching so much TV. 

15. Read at least 50 books on my list.

16. Make a digital scrapbook.

17. Finish reading + be inspired by The Spark Kit.

18. Make these polaroid magnets.

19. Say "I love you" more often. 

20. Learn to sell on Etsy + Ebay. 

21. Create a book with my Instagram photos.

22. Finish + share my ebook.

23. Plan a trip to visit my cousin in Hawaii. 

24. Make a new vision board.

25. Organize my art + wrapping supplies.

26. Participate in this Photo Challenge.

27. Find an incredible Halloween costume.

28. Be more positive + present (of course!)

 

Though I didn't expect this when I started making this list, I'm actually now really excited about my 28th year! I was feeling a little ughhh about it -- not really looking forward to feeling another year older -- but after making this list, I feel like there are so many fun and cool things I want to do this year and I can't wait to get started. Most people do the "before I turn 30" lists, but I say, why wait? Start a list on your next birthday and you'll certainly be excited for the year ahead. Or, if you can't wait, start a list right now! I'd love to hear what you can't wait to do. Share the things you want to do before your next birthday in the comments section below. 

What things do you want to do before your next birthday? 
What ideas, events, activities will inspire you for the next year?

how to celebrate each day like it's your birthday

(♥)

Recent events including some family birthdays and the Royal Wedding have put me in the mood to celebrate. If you're looking for a good celebration, my mom is your go-to gal. She's an expert at embracing and celebrating birthdays, holidays, random days -- whatever! Whether it's her own special day or someone else's, she knows what it means to embrace and make the most of a celebration. A few weeks ago I came across the image above (from Kate Spade NY) and it made me pause and think about the difference between a birthday and regular ol' day. It made me ask myself, "What if we celebrated every day like it was our birthday?" 

For as long as I've been alive, my mom's been making a big fanfare out of birthdays and holidays, and though at times I've resisted, I've always loved my mom's enthusiasm and exuberance when it comes to celebration. With her leading the way, I grew to love birthdays -- seeing as them as one of the best days of the year. It's a time to feel special, to be celebrated just for being you, and to reflect on the year behind (and ahead) of you. 

Why shouldn't we feel special, celebrate ourselves, and take time for reflection every day? Why must we wait for only one day of the year to enjoy life to the fullest? Personally, I think it's time we all took Kate Spade's advice and start celebrating each day -- all day -- like it's our birthdays. Or, better yet, like it's someone else's birthday! Here's how we get started right now: 

 

5 Ways to Celebrate Each Day Birthday-Style

1. Make yourself (and others) feel special. Nothing brings out the specialness in someone like a special day. It's easy to celebrate others (and ourselves) on a big day like a birthday, but what about celebrating others all the time? This doesn't mean every day must be a party, but it does mean we should take some time to break from our busy lives and recognize someone for being the special someone he or she is. A random card sent in the mail, a surprise cake baked just for them -- there are so many little ways we can make other people feel special on an ordinary day. And we can do the same thing for ourselves. Every once and awhile, treat yourself to something nice. It can be anything -- from a day at the spa to a long walk in the middle of the day -- but make it something special.

2. Treat yourself to something out of the ordinary. As I mentioned in point one, one of the best things about birthdays is that they are days that we feel special; they are out-of-the-ordinary kinds of days. We let ourselves do things we normally wouldn't. We embrace life and the things we love most about it. And why shouldn't we do that every day? Every day is an opportunity to do something out of the ordinary. Yes, you may be tethered to a job and some unfortunate routines, but that doesn't mean you can't mix it up a bit. Put some sprinkles in your cereal. Buy yourself a balloon. Celebrate every day for what it is: amazing.

3. Remind yourself of what you've accomplished. Each year I usually use my birthday as day to reflect on the year. I look back at what I've accomplished (or not accomplished) and try to focus on the good things I've done throughout the year. I've found it to be a worthwhile exercise and something I've always thought I should more often. You don't need to pat yourself on the back every minute, but it wouldn't hurt to take a moment every once and awhile to think about all of the things you've done and be proud of the person you are.

4. Experience the present fully. You've heard it before, but it's true: life is short. One minute you're a child and the next you're working full time and rushing through your day-to-day routines. It's often special occasions that offer us an excuse to relax, do what we love, and fully appreciate the moment. But, in my opinion, there's no need to wait until you're next big day to appreciate the present moment. You might not be living out your perfect birthday on a daily basis, but you are probably experiencing some pretty great things. If you take the time to look around you, to be fully present, you can make the most of any day -- birthday or not!

5. Look forward to what is to come. Birthdays are a good time to reflect on the past year, but they are also great days to look forward to the future. Yes, focusing on the present is fantastic, but it never hurts to look a bit at the future and look forward to all of the great things to come. Even if it might not always seem like it, exciting things are coming your way. Life really is an adventure and you never know what can happen. Take time each day to get excited about what is to come. Whether you realize it or not, every day is an opportunity for a fresh start, the same way every birthday is the beginning of the next year of your life. Stay focused on the present, but don't be afraid to look forward to your future.

 

Some might argue that treating every day like it's your birthday might dampen the celebratory nature of your actual birthday, but I say a year is much too long to wait to take part in the joys that make your special day so special. Birthdays and holidays always end up having such build up that they often leave us feeling let down -- but if we celebrate all of our days as if they are special, we'll always be looking for the good, hoping for the best, and seeking out the ways to make the most of the day. No one wants to have a bad birthday so the more you start thinking about every day as a special one, you'll always be striving to have a good day. Start each day as if it's your birthday and you'll be in for a year filled with special days! 

10 tips for keeping the happy in your holidays

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If you celebrate Christmas -- happy Christmas Eve eve! Right now you probably have a lot to get done before the big day, and, if you're anything like most people, you're probably stressing out about presents and family and things left on your To Do list. It can be joyous -- and overwhelming -- couple of days, so here are a few things to keep in mind as the holiday draws near...

10 Tips for Keeping the Happy in Your Holidays

1. Make the best of whatever situation you're in. I know this can be particularly hard if you're not at all interested in doing some of the required holiday activities, but, believe me, making the best of a situation is only going to help you. When it comes to the holidays, there are things you have to do sometimes -- and making the best of them is only going to make them easier to get through.


2. See the good in the people around you. Oddly enough, spending time with the people you love the most can be pretty hard sometimes. It's tempting to see their faults, to recall the things they may have done that have hurt you in the past. But this holiday, don't do those things. Instead, shun all negative thought and focus on the good things these people bring to your life. Be positive.


3. Know that everything (and everyone) doesn't have to be perfect. We typically have high expectations for holidays. We build them up almost all year long and suddenly they arrive and don't always live up to our ultra-high expectations. This year, lower your expectations to a reasonable level and remind yourself that this is just Christmas. It doesn't have to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect. And, yeah, other people don't have to be perfect either.


4. Stay in the moment to avoid unnecessary stress. When you start thinking about the past or the future, that's when you can really get caught up in stress. Christmas should be, at the very least, a day you can focus on the now and stop worrying about the past year or the year to come. Hard as it might be, make a commitment to spend Christmas day in the present moment. Focus on the now.


5. Help others out -- and ask for help when you need it. Help is one of those tricky things. We all need it at times, but too often we don't remember to offer it or ask for it. Even though it might be hard to keep your mind, try your best to ask others if they need help and ask yourself if you might need help from others. It can be tough to ask for it sometimes, but it will make your holiday a lot happier if you do!


6. Take it one day, hour, minute at a time. Remember that Christmas is only a single day of the year and, even when it's tough, you can certainly get through it. If you're faced with any troublesome situations, remind yourself that you can get through the next minute, the next hour, the next day. Stress levels may be high, but try to keep everything in perspective and stay calm.


7. Remember that you are more than one day of the year. People that put a lot of emphasis on the holidays often have a hard time remembering that your worth is much more than a single day or event. The day doesn't have to perfect and neither do you. You are so many things and it's essential to remind yourself that the outcome of one day does not represent your entire worth as a person. Remember: it's just one day.


8. Put yourself in positive situations (and avoid negative ones). Though you may not be able to choose exactly how you spend Christmas, you often have a choice when it comes to what specific situations you put yourself in. If you know a certain person drives you nuts, do what you can to stay away from him or her. And, whenever you can, find the people that inspire you and make you feel great and spend time with those individuals.


9. Don't be afraid to say, "No!" With the holidays often comes pressure. Pressure to be there or do that. Pressure to act a certain way or be willing to go with the flow. Though I'd certainly advise doing what you can to make the most of any situation you find yourself in, know that it's okay to say "no" when you need to. If something makes you unhappy or uncomfortable, don't do it. Some might call you a Scrooge, but if you want to be happy this holiday, you have to remain true to yourself.


10. Celebrate the little things (because, really, those are the big things). I'm a big fan of looking at the big picture and seeing the holiday celebrated as a whole, but one of the best pieces of advice I can offer you this holiday season is this: celebrate the little things. These are the things that might not seem like a big deal, but they are the things you will end up remembering when the day is over. Pay attention and all of those little things will add up to one big celebration.

 

Even though Christmastime is supposed to be one the greatest and most festive days of the year, it's often very difficult for a lot of people to get through. Hopefully these happiness tips will help you to stay positive and present all day long. My advice? If you think you're going to be battling a particularly troubling holiday, print these tips out and keep them with you for extra inspiration. Or, better yet, print them out and share them with everyone at your holiday event.

As always thank you for reading Positively Present. I hope these words inspire you to live a more positive, more present life. For those of you who celebrate the holiday, have a very merry Christmas! And for those of you who don't -- have a very merry weekend!