positively present

words to live by: happy father's day 2010

 (♥)
 
  

"There's something like 

a line of gold thread 

running through a man's words 

when he talks to his daughter, 

and gradually over the years 

it gets to be long enough 

for you to pick up in your hands 

and weave into a cloth 

that feels like love itself."  

John Gregory Brown

Happy Father's Day, Dad! I love you! "Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

words to live by: happy mother's day 2010

 (♥)
 

I'm five years old

It's getting cold

I've got my big coat on

I hear your laugh

And look up smiling at you

I run and run

Past the pumpkin patch

And the tractor rides

Look now -- the sky is gold

I hug your legs and fall asleep

On the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall

I know you're not scared of anything at all

Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away

But I know I had the best day

With you today

I'm thirteen now

And don't know how my friends

Could be so mean

I come home crying 

and you hold me tight and grab the keys

And we drive and drive

Until we've found a town

Far enough away

And we talk and window-shop

Until I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to

Now at school

I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you

Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay

But I know I had the best day

With you today

I have an excellent father

His strength is making me stronger

God smiles on my little brother

Inside and out

He's better than I am

I grew up in a pretty house

And I had space to run

And I had the best days with you

There is a video

I found from back when I was three

You set up a paint set in the kitchen

And you're talking to me

It's the age of princesses and pirate ships

And the seven dwarfs

Daddy's smart

And you're the prettiest lady 

in the whole wide world

Now I know why all the trees change in the fall

I know you were on my side

Even when I was wrong

And I love you for giving me your eyes

Staying back and watching me shine

And I didn't know if you knew

So I'm taking this chance to say

That I had the best day

With you today 

Taylor Swift

"The Best Day"

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! I love you to the sky and back! "Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

words to live by: the joy of easter

 (♥)
 

  "'Twas Easter-Sunday. 
 The full-blossomed trees
  Filled all the air with fragrance 
 and with joy..."

Henry Longfellow

Happy Easter! :) "Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

new year, same me: 6 stay-the-same resolutions

 

(♥)

"Many people look forward to the new year
 for a new start on old habits." 

  Author Unknown

Happy New Year! Around this time of year, many people are preparing resolutions and, as a result, thinking about all of things they want to change in their lives. But what about all of the things they don't want to change? What about all of the things that have happened in 2009 -- and over the past decade -- that have been great? Instead of focusing on what I want to change in my life (which is something I spent a whole lot of 2009 doing), I'm going to think about what I want to keep the same as I move forward to 2010. It's been a pretty great year for me and, while I always believe there's room for improvement, today I'm going to zero in on the things that I want to keep the same in the next decade. 

My 6 Stay-The-Same Resolutions for 2010

Be positive. I can't I was positive for the decade, but I was definitely much more positive in 2009 and I want to keep that attitude up! It hasn't necessarily been an easy one for me to embrace or maintain, but I'm looking forward to putting in the effort to make sure that 2010 is just as positive -- if not more so! -- than 2009. 

Stay present. While I did find being positive a little tricky this year, staying present was really hard work. With a mind that's always racing and a million things I thought I should be doing, it was pretty difficult for me to stay in the moment. But, more often than not, I did it and I'm really proud of myself for that. I hope to keep living in the moment in 2010. 

Enjoy life. We all know the old idea that life is short, but how often do we really act like it's short? This year, having spent a lot of time focusing on happiness and positivity, I've learned how to enjoy life more. I've learned how to spend more time in the moment, doing the things I want to be doing (like writing this blog!) and it's made my life so much better. Enjoying life is one of the best things I can continue doing, both for myself and for the sake of those around me. 

Keep learning. Learning is one of my favorite things to do and, though I'm no longer a student, I still find ways to learn. I read and write and listen. I learn more about myself and about other people every single day. Sometimes all of this learning is tiring and can feel overwhelming, but I don't know where (or who!) I'd be without it. I hope that for 2010 -- and for the rest of my life -- I keep learning more about myself and the world because I really do believe that new knowledge makes me a better person. 

Be passionate. I've always been a passionate sort of person. No matter what I'm doing, if I'm into it, I'm into it. If I really care about something or love a task, I will put my whole heart into it and give it my all. In the past, I was passionate about some things that weren't so good for me, but in 2009 I started using that passion in a positive way and I'm looking forward to find new, positive things to be passionate about in the upcoming year. 

Celebrate others. I'm the card-giving, thank-you-writing type. I try to remember the little things and I honestly feel amazingly happy when something good happens to someone I love or care about. I do my best to celebrate others and, over the past year, I've really tried to look for the good not only in those I love but in everyone. (Not easy, but really useful if you're trying to live a happier life.) When I celebrate others, I feel happy and I want to keep up that happy feeling in 2010. 

While looking through an old journal the other day, I found a set of resolutions and I was shocked at howI generic and stereotypical they were. Things like "Lose 10 pounds" and "Shop less" and "Stop drinking" are things that seem silly to me now -- not because they aren't good goals, but because they aren't the kind of goals I now set for myself. Even more shocking to me was the heading above these resolutions: "Resolutions I Wish I Could Keep." Wow. How little I believed in myself, with a title like that! Since the year I wrote those, I've done all of those things and so, so much more. When I re-read those resolutions and the title that pathetically rested above them, I felt sad. I felt sad for my old self, who didn't know that in a few short years, she would be truly, honestly happy and doing things that made her feel like a positive, useful person. I wish I could go back to that January 1st and tell the girl writing in that journal what her life would be like at the turn of the decade, to let her know that she will be happy and she will be productive and she will be doing so many of the things she'd always dreamed about. Of course, we can't go back. We can only live in this moment. 

In this moment, I am so thrilled that I can look back on 2009 and, instead of thinking about all of the horrible things I did or all of the habits I desperately need to change, I am writing about all of the things I want to stay the same. I never in a million years thought I would launch a new year with all of the things I liked about the year before. Of course, I can think of things I want to change or goals I want to set for myself, but, generally speaking, I am pretty happy with 2009 and all of the wonderful (sometimes mystifying) changes I went through. While I'm tempted to look to the future and think of all of the things that could (or should) happen in 2010, I'm going to stick to one of my stay-the-same resolutions today and stay present. I have a lot of hope for 2010, but today, this moment, is all I can be certain of so I'm going to focus on today. I'm going to live in the present, positively.     

a year of amazing: how to make this one the best yet

You know, I have a good feeling about 2010. There's something about that nice, round number that makes me feel calm, makes me think this year is going to be a really good one. When I was searching for an image to use for this post and came across the one above, I was super excited. I have high hopes for the year and the picture I found seemed to echo them perfectly. While I really am trying to live in the moment and focus on what's happening right now, I can't help but look to the future of 2010 and have hope that it's going to be an amazing year. Of course, the reason I think it's going to be an amazing year is because I plan to make it an amazing year. In 2009 I learned one thing for certain: your life is what you make it. 

Prior to last year, it was so easy for me to fall into routines and patterns, thinking that everything just happened because that's the way it went. Though of course the thought had crossed my mind, I didn't realize just how powerful my own abilities were. I didn't realize that I really could take control of my life and spend my time in ways that were productive and healthy. It was a really hard year, but it was a really great year. I learned more about myself in those 12 months than in all the 26 years that had come before them. The other day I read this quote by Charles Richards: 

"Don't be fooled by the calendar. 
There are only as many days in the year as you make use of."
 

When I read that, I thought to myself, "Wow. That's really true." I thought back on the years before, all of the days I'd wasted, and then I thought of last year and how I'd done my best to make every day worthwhile. Sure, they weren't all great days and they weren't all filled with productive, positive activities, but, for the most part, I can say that I made the most of my days in 2009. Having spent a year that way, I cannot imagine going back to the way it was before, to those days I spent lying on the couch, watching TV or thinking negative thoughts. After the year I've had, I just cannot imagine going back. 

What I can imagine, however, is going forward to an awesome year in 2010. Part of me, admittedly, is a little nervous about my hopes for the year. What if 2010 isn't as great as 2009? What if I don't change and grow and learn so much, the way I did last year? What if I'm setting my expectations too high and I reach the end of the year feeling let down? This post is all about putting those "what-ifs" aside and developing a plan to make 2010 even better than 2009. With a plan in place, I just know 2010 can be -- will be -- amazing. 

How To Make 2010 Your Best Year Yet

Get excited. Stop and think right now about what gets you excited. If you had a day to do anything you wanted to do, what would it be? What is that thing that, when it crosses your mind, leaves you feeling so overjoyed or pumped up that you can barely sit still? Keep that thought in your mind, keep doing whatever it is that makes you that happy, and keep surrounding yourself with people who support those things that make you oh-so-excited. You need to support yourself. You need to do the things that make you the happiest. And you need to have people in your life that support your happiness. 

Get involved. Now is the time to get involved in what it is that excites you. No, not next month or later in the year. NOW. Think back to the things or activities or people that get you excited and ask yourself, "How can I become more involved? How can I get into that, and experience those feelings, even more often than I already do?" You need to be doing whatever it is that you love most in the world. You need to be figuring out a way to be involved with what you love most and to be involved with it as often as you can.

Get going. Now that you've identified what you want to do and how you can become more involved in it, it's time to get going. 2010 may have just begun, but it will be over before you know it. Don't put off the things you want to do. The year will be shorter than you imagine it to be. You will find yourself at the end of it, thinking,"What did I do this year?" Don't let yourself get to the end of the year without doing what it is that you really, truly want to do. It's a new year, a new decade, and it's time to get going! 



For me, last year was a good one and it's inspired me to make this one even better. But if you didn't feel like 2009 was everything you wanted it to be, now is your chance to change things. I believe you can start change at any time, but why not embrace it now when everyone else is so into it? If you want your life to be different, make it different. If you're looking for some inspiration, check out some of these posts: 

 
Stop, Drop, & Roll: How to Prepare for Change

You CAN Have It All: 8 Tips for Balancing Work and Life

Breaking the Spell of Someday

Let's Go! 5 Steps for Getting on the Road to Your Goal

Change Your Mind About Change

Photo credit: (♥)  

there is beauty in believing

  

 

"At one time most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed it fell silent for all of them.
Though I've grown old the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe."

Chris Van Allsburg
The Polar Express

I can remember vividly a Christmas Eve when I was about five years old. Just like the line from the film The Polar Express, "On Christmas Eve many years ago I laid quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets, I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound I was afraid I'd never hear: the sound of Santa's sleigh bells." I remember just how it felt, to lie so quiet and still, hoping and hoping I would hear those bells ringing. And... I did! Lying there in bed, in the very first house I can remember living in, I swore I heard sleigh bells. Today all I can say is that I swear I heard what it was that I wanted to hear. 

Though it wasn't long after that that I stopped believing in Santa (which occurred after I cleverly decided to compare my Mom's handwriting on a check to the handwriting in a card from "Santa"...), I'll never forget that night when I believed so much that I heard those sleigh bells. It's one of the few times in my life that I've believed that much, that honestly, and that faithfully. Though I don't believe in that type of Christmas magic anymore, I do believe there is magic in Christmas. However, it's something I don't think, over the years, I've always believed in. 

Like most people, I've had my good holidays and my bad. I've had the years I was super into and the years I thought to myself, "Why in the world do we still do this every single year?" Christmas is one of those things that, though it can bring a lot of happiness, it almost always brings a lot of stress. There are events to attend, packages to wrap. There are gifts to make and errands to run. It can be really overwhelming to suddenly be faced with this time of the year when you have a million extra things to do. And don't even get me started on what it's like to be alone at Christmas. Total bummer. Let's face it -- Christmas can be rough. But, year after year, so many of us keep doing it. We keep wrapping the gifts and singing the songs and telling the same silly stories over and over again. We love it. Why? Because we believe. 

We believe there's something completely and utterly magical about Christmas. We believe in Christmas miracles, in Christmas stories. We believe that even the same ratty old decorations are beautiful. We believe that the same verses sung over and over again can still sound magical. We believe in glitter and tinsel and the idea that maybe -- just maybe -- this will be the very best Christmas of all. Sometimes it seems like a miracle in and of itself that we believe all of this, especially as adults. It's one thing for children, in their sweet innocence, to see the magic in Christmas, but, for us adults it can be a little bit harder. Yet we still do it. We still, after all of these years -- the good Christmases and the bad, the disastrous holidays and the magical ones -- believe. 

When I think about that night, so many years ago, when I was lying in bed and listening so hard for Santa's sleigh, I'm amazed. I'm amazed that my mind could play such tricks on me. And I'm even more amazed that, looking back on it, I'm actually happy that my mind did that. Normally I'd be against thinking logically, especially when thinking about myself in a critical stage of development as I was at the age of five, but, in this case, magic trumps logic. When it comes to Christmas, especially to a childhood Christmas, believing wins out over rationalizing every single time. 

There have been moments in my life when I've reflected on that Christmas and thought to myself, "What an idiot I was! How could I really have thought I heard sleigh bells!?" I realize now that that reaction was not anger at myself, but fear -- fear that I really could believe in something so much that I could create it in my mind. This fear of believing in something so fiercely that I can transform it into a reality has held me back for many years. I've spent a long, long time being afraid of believing. I've spent years afraid to believe in myself, afraid to believe in others, afraid to believe in ideas that I knew could be made real. 

This year I've finally begun to get a little bit of that five-year-old self back. This year I've once again begun believing. While I may not be lying in bed imagining sleigh bells, I'm still that same little girl, flat on her back, believing in something so much that she makes it a reality. I may not believe in Santa, but this year I've discovered that I still believe in myself. It's been a crazy, whirlwind of a year, but I've come to find what I always knew to be true... There is still, and always will be, great beauty in believing.

words to live by: a grown-up christmas list

 
(♥)

 

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
with childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown-up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child,
but my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself,
but for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called
the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in that blind belief
can we ever find the truth...

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal our hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

Amy Grant
"Grown-Up Christmas List"

"Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

the magic christmas: lessons from my holiday tradition

        

(♥)

There aren't many Christmas traditions that I stick to no matter where I am or no matter what I'm doing and there certainly aren't many Christmas traditions that involve only me. But there is one thing I do every year, without fail, and it's something that concerns only me and a well-worn paperback book. For as long as I can remember, every Christmas I pull down one of my favorite books off the shelf and crack it open. While I'd love to say that every year I re-read Dickens' A Christmas Carol or even Richard Paul Evans' The Christmas Box, the book I crack open every December is Francine Pascal's The Magic Christmas. Yes, I'm aware that this Sweet Valley Twins book is geared to girls in middle school. Yes, also aware that I'm an adult. However, even though I'm all grown up, I can't seem to break the tradition of reading The Magic Christmas every year. Even though I know the story by heart and even though my time would be better spent reading a new (adult!) book, I cannot seem to shake the notion that there's something important about the book. It's been over fifteen years since the book came out (which means I've read it at least 15 times!), but I can't seem to break myself from the tradition, from diving into the magic of the story.

This year, of course, I was all  about analyzing the book as I cracked open its aged cover. What was it about the book that I loved so much? What was it that kept me reading it over and over again every year when I have always have a huge stack of books I'm dying to read? Even though you might not be interested in the book (or what it means to me personally), I did take away some pretty stellar lessons from re-reading it this year. As I was reading, I started realizing that there were some really positive messages that probably taught me a lot about life (even though I'm sure I didn't realize it way back in middle school...). Whether or not you've read (or ever will read) The Magic Christmas take a look at the lessons I've learned from the book. I'm pretty sure you'll get something out of them and realize that even children's literature can offer a lot in terms of positive messaging! 

10 Lessons Learned from The Magic Christmas

1. Never, ever give up -- no matter what. No matter what challenges you're faced with -- and, being trapped in a foreign, mythical land, the Sweet Valley Twins face some crazy ones in the book! -- giving up shouldn't be an option when you're striving toward an important goal. It's tempting sometimes when you're facing hurdles that seem insurmountable to want to throw up your hands and say, "Forget it!" -- but don't. If you want something badly enough and you work as hard as you can to get there, you'll be able to achieve what you set your mind to. Re-reading this book and seeing all of the crazy struggles the twins faced in order to get back home reminded me that you really can get through the tough times if you keep persevering.
   

2. Appreciate what you have. One of the themes in the novel is appreciating family and realizing how important they are to you. While, of course, I think it's very important to appreciate your family, I think it's also really important to appreciate all the things you have going for you in your life. One of the greatest lessons in the book is that, at any time, the things you love and care about can disappear from your life. While that might sound a tad dramatic, it technically is true, which is why it's so important to be appreciative of what you have. Even the most basic things -- like your food and shelter and abilities -- are things we shouldn't take for granted. The holidays seem to be a time when gratitude is celebrated even more than usually and The Magic Christmas really offers a great reminder to appreciate all we're lucky enough to have in our lives.
   

3. Open your mind and try new things. When twins Elizabeth and Jessica find themselves in a magical land filled with unexpected adventures and discover that just heading home is not an option, they're forced to try new things. At first it's not easy for them to embrace some of the differences in the culture around them, the fact that they have no other option than to adjust is a great reminder for the reader that, when you open your mind and try new things you just might find that you enjoy them. At various times over the course of the book, the twins encounter experiences that make them nervous or uncertain, but they give them a try and find that they're not nearly as bad as they thought. In fact, they're actually fun. Life in the real world can be that way too. When we encounter something completely new and different, we may want to resist it, but if we give it a chance, we usually will find that it wasn't as bad as we thought it would be.
   

4. Learn to compromise with others. Compromise isn't always one of my favorite things to do, but sometimes it really is the only way. In the novel, the twins are forced into a situation where they really have little choice but to compromise and deal with their surroundings. While sometimes it's tempting to force things in your favor, it's usually not worth the struggle. The work you would spend on getting your way is usually much better spent trying to come up with a compromise. In the novels, the girls had to find ways to compromise with those they were traveling with. At times it wasn't always easy, but it almost always benefited them when they were able to let go of preconceived notions of what "should" be and accept the limitations placed before them. Compromise isn't always easy, but it's worth all of the effort that goes into it.
   

5. Accepting differences is cool. How boring life would be if we were all the same! When Elizabeth and Jessica find themselves in a new place filled with completely unfamiliar things, they realize that there are a lot of differences between their old lives and the place they are now spending time in. The culture is different, the people are different, and the expectations are different. At first they both resist, not wanting to fully embrace the ways of this new place, but as they spend more time there, they learn to see the good in the differences. Not only are they in a completely new place, but they are each traveling with guys who are totally unlike them. Because of this, they are forced to deal with the differences (which are sometimes great) and, instead of fighting against the differences, they each learn to embrace them. It's not always easy to accept the ways people and places are different from what you're familiar with, but, as Elizabeth and Jessica found, when you open your mind to new things, you can have some pretty wonderful experiences.
   

6. A good attitude is everything. When the twins first found themselves in a new place, neither of them were very pleased and immediately wanted to find a way home. However, as time went on and they realized that they'd have to go through a lot before they ever returned to Sweet Valley, their attitudes began to change. Instead of becoming discouraged or frustrated, both began to take on a positive attitude. And even when they were faced with some pretty tough situations, they both remain upbeat and hopeful that they'll someday make it home again. Honestly, if I were in their shoes, I don't know if I would be able to handle some of the things they faced without having a serious meltdown, but both of them really seemed to keep a positive attitude which, in my opinion, is one of the greatest lessons in the book.  
   

7. Don't be afraid to get creative. As Elizabeth and Jessica encountered more and more strange situations, they (and their companions) were forced to get creative. When you're in a strange land filled with magic, I'm sure it becomes a little more imperative to make use of creativity, but I think we can all apply this in the real world. When we're faced with situations that are new to use and we feel like we have no idea what to do, the best bet is to get creative. Elizabeth and Jessica were forced to come up with some pretty clever ideas when they found themselves in some tricky situations. Re-reading the novel reminded me that we really are more creative than we give ourselves credit for, and, if given the right situation, we're likely to see just how creative we can get. But why wait for our creativity to be forced out of us? We don't have to travel to some imaginary place to get creative -- we can start right now!
   

8. Trusting is sometimes the only option. When the twins arrive in this new and unfamiliar place, they are not with one another and, instead, find themselves with two complete strangers. Since they don't know where they are (or even how they arrived there!), they're left with almost no choice but to trust these two characters. Of course, I'm all for being wary of strangers, but I do think the book offered a good reminder to me that sometimes strangers aren't necessarily the worst people to trust. In fact, sometimes you don't have an option but to trust others. Trusting doesn't always come easily for everyone (and it certainly would be hard if you found yourself in a completely unfamiliar place with a stranger!), but it's important to be option to it while still being smart about your surroundings. It can be tempting to put up barriers when it comes to people you don't know, but if you let others in a little bit, if you trust just a little bit, you might just be surprised by how much you can benefit.
   

9. You are stronger than you think. Often we don't realize just how much strength we possess until we're put to the test. This was definitely the case in the novel. Had someone given them a preview of what was to come, Jessica and Elizabeth probably never would have believed they would have been able to do some of the things they did when they were journeying throughout this foreign land. It's the same with us. More often than not, we don't realize how strong we are until we experience our own power and stamina. It truly is amazing what some people are able to go through -- and many of them never would have thought they could do it. Even in my short life, I feel like I've been through a lot and I don't think, if someone had told me 10 years ago about all of the things I've been through, that I would have believed I could do it. One of the key lessons I learned when re-reading this book was that we're usually a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for and, when we're facing a tough time, we need to remember that.
   

10. Be prepared for the unexpected. The book begins with the twins mysteriously entering into this completely new and magical place and, while I'm well aware that things like that don't happen in real life, we generally have a lot of unexpected things occur. It's often when I finally feel like I have a plan in place that something happens and my whole world is turned upside down. While I suppose there's no really good way to be prepared for things you can't expected, you can be aware of the unexpected and realize that even the most carefully laid plans can be disrupted. As I was reading the book, I realized that sometimes you really do have to go with the flow. Life can throw you some pretty crazy curve balls and, while we're not going to wake up in some mythical kingdom one unsuspecting morning, we're probably pretty likely to be faced with some unexpected situations throughout our lives. So, don't fear the unexpected -- be on the lookout for it and realize that sometimes it really is a pleasant surprise in disguise.

If you're interested in learning more about the book (without actually reading it), check out the following: Sweet Valley Twins: The Magic Christmas. It's an interesting review and synopsis of the book (though it definitely contains some spoilers so don't read it if you think you might read the book!). I suppose, after giving it some thought and re-reading the book for the 15+ time, I realized that there are some pretty great lessons in the book. It's definitely geared to young girls, so I can't say that my mind is super stimulated every time I read it, but I do feel like there's a reason that I keep coming back to it year after year. Yes, it's a tradition, but there's also something meaningful in the book for me. Now that I've revisited it with a fresh perspective I see that I probably learned a lot from the book as I a kid and, even now, as an adult, I learn new things every time I read it. As silly as it might be, I can say for sure that I'll be picking it up and reading it again next December...

 

oh, what fun!: the benefits of being festive

"Make every day a holiday 
and celebrate just living!" 

Amanda Bradley
   

Having spent a very festive weekend in the very festive New York City, taking in all of the lights and sounds and decorations of the holiday season, I began to see very clearly that festiveness really does make me feel happy. There’ve been times in my life when I’ve arrived at the month of December and thought, “Really? Do we really need all of this hoopla?” But even on those years I’ve always come around and realized that being festive isn’t worth resisting because it really does warm my heart and allow my mind to focus on some pretty awesome topics -- happiness, love, and peace.

While shopping at the beautifully decorated Bloomingdale’s, I saw many mentions of those three topics. Neon lights and writing on shopping bags reminded me that some of the most important things about the holiday season could be summed up in three words: happy, love, peace. What it really comes down to, when we think about all of the work that goes into preparing for the holidays, are those three words. We all want to feel happy, to feel loved, to feel at peace -- and what better time to do it than right now, when all of those feelings seem to be streaming through the radios and being celebrated in everything from commercials to window displays? It might be tempting at times when you’re feeling a bit like Scrooge to resist the festiveness of the holidays, but, in my experience, you’ll be a whole lot happier if you just take a deep breath and plunge into the glitter and lights and colorful mess that is the Christmas season.

Obviously over the past few days traveling around the Big Apple and taking in all of the sights and sounds of Christmas, I’ve given some thought to how being festive really can equate to being happy. As you know, I believe happiness is a choice and happiness is something that comes from within you, but I also believe that sometimes there are things outside of us that can bring us some pretty awesome doses of happiness. For me, being festive is one of those things. (Please note: being festive doesn’t have to relate only to Christmas; it can be something you do at any time or for any occasion, though I have to say that it’s pretty hard for me not to think about it in terms of Christmas at this time of year!) The more I think about it, the more I realize that being festive as many benefits. Here are just a few that I came across this weekend…

 

5 Benefits of Being Festive

1.     Embracing happiness.  Generally being festive requires a happy, positive attitude and when you embrace being festive, you also embrace being happy. Even if you're feeling weighed down by your life's pressures or you're overwhelmed by stress, taking some time to join in on festivities can really lift your mood up. I don't have any real evidence to back up the idea that being festive makes you happier other than the fact that I find that being festive makes me happier, but give it a try and see if it works for you. 
 

2.     Participating in a group. I've read somewhere that participating in a group can have a lot of happiness benefits and I think that's probably true. When I'm feeling down and I spend time with friends, I usually feel a lot better. Celebrating holidays and special events with others can help you to surround yourself with the festiveness of others. Being around others that are having fun and surrounding yourself with those who have positive attitudes can really lift up your spirits. 
 

3.     Giving to others. Often partaking in festive activities means giving to others -- and not always in the form of presents. Giving your time and energy to celebrating is a gift in and of itself and it can mean a lot to those around you. When you give to others, you feel good. When you take part in festive activities, you give of yourself and you bring joy to others and to yourself. Remember, you don't have to give gifts to be festive. Giving of yourself can be an even better gift to those around you -- especially giving of your festive, positive self! 
 

4.     Looking for the good. When I find myself in a festive mood or situation, I always find myself looking for the good. It's hard for me to be negative when all around me people are celebrating and everything is decorated for fun. Therefore, when I find myself being festive, I find myself celebrating not only the event but also the good things in my life. When I'm celebrating a holiday or a birthday, I have a chance to really see the good shining through in my life and that brings me a great deal of happiness. 
 

5.     Experiencing the now. Celebrations and festivities have a way of keeping us in the moment, of helping us embrace the now. Now I know festive situations aren't always about the present moment since many celebrations often center around traditions, but I really think being festive can help us to experience the now more fully. When you're preparing for the event or holiday, you can be focused on your preparations and when you finally arrive at the big day you'll be able to fully embrace the now. 

 

As you can see, there are some great benefits to being festive. I know sometimes it might be hard – maybe you’re not in the mood, maybe you’re going through a really hard time in your life – but I really think it’s worth it to take part in celebrations and to celebrate any occasion that calls for festivity. You lose a lot by holding back from the festive celebrations of a holiday or special occasion. If you want my advice, I'd suggest partaking in the holiday season (or an upcoming birthday... or just any old day you want to make festive). You'll miss out if you don't and you can gain a lot by joining in on the celebration! 

How do reap the rewards of being festive in your own life? 
What are your favorite festive activities?  

 

Photo Credit: (♥)

happy, happy, happy halloween!

 (♥)

 

"Halloween wraps fear in innocence,
As though it were a slightly sour sweet.
Let terror, then, be turned into a treat..."

Nicholas Gordon

Halloween, in my book, is the happiest day of all and even though I won't be celebrating it in the traditional way this year (since I'm preoccupied sunning myself on a Jamaican beach...), that doesn't mean I can't still be super excited about my favorite day of the year! Recently my coworker asked me, "What do you think it means that you love Halloween so much?" and it really got me thinking about the holiday. What is it that I love so much about it? Of course, all of the orange... and the candy... and the dressing up... There are so many great things about it that popped into my head when she asked the question, but none of them really addressed what it means to be so into Halloween.

My Halloween History

Of course, as soon as my coworker left my desk, I attempted to look up what it meant to be so infatuated with Halloween. I was hoping to find a concrete reason for my love of the holiday. After all, there had to be some explanation for this odd obsession... right? Apparently not. After neglecting work for a bit on a hunt to understand a love of Halloween, I didn't come up with much. I decided it would be up to me to figure this one out. No relying on good ol' Google this time! Instead, I'd actually have to give it this some thought all on my own. In an attempt to make some sense of my love of Halloween (before it dawned on me that, really, I didn't have to make sense of it...), I searched my brain for Halloween memories, looking for a link to my love of the holiday.

My mind swirled around a mess of Halloween memories -- the year I dressed up as a giant gift and couldn't sit down in class, the year I learned about bones from a Hallmark-made skeleton, the year my teacher had a stuffed bear dressed up as a devil that I desperately wanted to take home with me, the year I visited a house in which you had to reach into a giant spider's belly filled with "eggs" to get candy out, the year my sister and I dressed up as the opposites we are (devil and angel), the year I decorated my braces with orange and black rubber bands, the year I got the Halloween blanket that I still pull out every fall (see Bella wrapped in it at the bottom of the post), the year my best friend decided she was too old for trick-or-treating, the year I fitfully tossed and turned knowing my boyfriend was up to no good (he was), the year I attended an exclusive Hollywood Halloween party, the year I went to not one but three Halloween parties with different costumes for each, the year I fought with a good friend, the years of dressing up Bella in Halloween costumes (see Princess Bella's 2009 getup above). So many memories, both good and bad, of the very last day of October.

I rifled through them all -- all of those good and bad recollections -- and still couldn't figure out what it was I loved so much about the day, or why. I decided to look up the psychology of Halloween. Maybe if I understood the psychology of the holiday, I rationalized, I couldn't understand the reasoning behind my love for the day...



The Psychology of Halloween

After much searching that was pretty unsuccessful (clearly there aren't many people writing about the importance of Halloween to a twenty-something with a mild obsession!), I realized that it pretty much was going to have to come down to the fact that, at it's core, I just liked it. I couldn't necessarily explain why and, after years of being asked why I liked Halloween so much, I'm not sure why I thought this would be the year that I'd somehow come up with a definitive answer.

Though I didn't come across a clear reason behind my love for October 31st, in the article "The Modern   Psychology of Halloween," I read: "There’s something so timelessly magical in the golden colors of fallthat’s annually reflected in the glowing flames of our Jack O’Lantern smiles. Rather than feeling a creepy chill in the air, instead, many of us today associate a sense of warmth and togetherness with the date October 31st.  The past associations with all things evil have today been replaced by the amusing notion of a good scare, meaning that it’s time once again to party." Finally, something I could relate to! It wasn't the fear factor that enticed me into loving the holiday or even the dressing up that was so appealing. This article hit the nail on the head when it addressed one of the key components to my love for Halloween: the warmth and magic of it. It is the tantalizing mix of comfort and mystery that I love so much about Halloween. The warmth and comfort of the day couple with the potential for tricks and treats really does leave me feeling happy and inspired.  

To me, there's something warm in the thought of Halloween, and especially in the color orange. As you may have guessed from the design of the blog, I'm a pretty big fan of orange. I don't know if I loved orange first or Halloween first, but to me the two go hand-in-hand. While some people find orange to bright or overwhelming, it's by far my favorite color and when I look at it I feel cozy inside. Apparently orange makes Bella (sleeping on my new orange couch above) feel cozy as well!

The Meaning of Halloween

In my mind, Halloween -- the word alone! -- evokes so many things, and so many of them are positive. When I think of Halloween, I think of all of the following things (and more!):

• Community: Most of the people I know dress up for Halloween. Little kids, teenagers, college kids, and adults -- most of them love to get into the spirit of Halloween. Additionally, because it's become such a commercialized holiday in America, most people -- regardless of the their backgrounds -- join in on the fun. For that reason, Halloween is one of the greatest holidays because every can participate and get joy out of it.  
  
  
  
• Generosity: Halloween is the one day of the year you can (if you are a kid) knock on all of your neighbors' doors and they will greet you with a smile and a delicious treat. Can you imagine if every day were like that? If you could just walk up to your neighbors door and s/he would open it with a smile and treat? I'm sure some neighborhoods are like that, but, where I come from, Halloween is pretty much the only day you go knocking on neighboring doors. 
  
   
• Acceptance: Though this one probably doesn't apply to everyone, Halloween, for me, is a great symbol of accepting someone for who they are. I love Halloween -- really love it! -- and it's something that people in my life have to accept (even though people often think it's odd that I like the holiday so much). Because of raised eyebrows I've received and the confused looks I've been given, I know that not everyone really gets my love of Halloween, but the people I'm really close with accept it and that's what really matters.
  
   
• Imagination: Halloween is a great time to use your imagination. Every year -- probably around the middle of summer -- I start thinking about Halloween and wondering what I'm going to be. Though I do have a few go-to costumes that I for some reason cannot get enough of (Alice in Wonderland and a 1920's flapper being two of them), I love the idea that, for one night a year, I can dress up as anything I want to and (most) people won't judge me. Being able to use my imagination this way is truly liberating! 
  
    
• Change: Traditionally Halloween symbolized the end of summer and the beginning of winter and, in a way, that's what it still does for me. Where I live, it usually isn't until after Halloween that it starts to get really cold and it's at this cusp between the lingering warmth of summer and the crisp onset of winter that I find myself face-to-face with the idea of change. In addition, because I am usually changing myself into someone else by donning a costume, the holiday really makes me think about the concept of transformation.
  
   
• Celebration:In my world, Halloween has -- and will always be -- a time for celebration. In my mind, Halloween is New Year's Eve and Independence Day rolled into one. It's better than fireworks, more exciting than champagne. Whether it was tame classroom parties at school or wild ragers in college, Halloween has always been a time for celebrating, for dressing up, for getting too excited due to a heavy sugar rush. When I think about the celebration aspect, a big smile spreads across my face and already I can't wait until the celebration begins again next year.

Since I love Halloween so much, it often comes up in conversations I have with others. It seems to me that Halloween is one of those holidays that people either really love or don't care much for once they've reached the age of ten. Most adults either feel passionately about it or can take it or leave it. I, of course, am the former. I really do love Halloween and all that the word brings to mind. It's a day filled with a lot excitement, mystery, and warmth. It's day we get the opportunity to be really generous to our neighbors and explore our creative sides by dressing up as anything we want to be. It's clearly my favorite holiday, but I'd love to hear about whether or not you love it too. And if you are a Halloween fan, why do you love it? The reasons I've listed above are only some of the many exciting, positive things about the holiday, but I'm sure you've come up with some of your own ideas while reading this. If you have ideas and would like to share them, send me a tweet @positivepresent!

Treats for the Halloween Lover 

After being asked about my Halloween obsession, I attempted to learn more about the psychology and history behind the holiday. I found some pretty interesting stuff out there and those of you who love Halloween like I do may find these links interesting. To learn more about Halloween, check out these links:

The History of Halloween

The Modern Psychology of Halloween

What Your Costume Says About You

The Joy of Fear -- Why Halloween?

How Sweet It Is!: Halloween Candy

Psychology of Halloween Costumes

As a reminder, I'm lying happily on a beach in Jamaica right now, and, in order to maintain that vacation state of mind, comments for this post will be closed. However, if you enjoyed this post, please feel free to share the link on social media sites such as Twitter (you can follow me @positivepresent) or  StumbleUpon.