Every Day Matters: Getting Ready for 2018

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So thrilled that, for the fourth year in a row, the Every Day Matters Diary is available so you can be inspired, motivated, and enlightened throughout 2018! Working on this project is one of my absolute favorite projects, and it gets better and better with every year that I work on it. It might seem early to think about the new year, but I always find these "ber" months (September, October, November, and December) scoot by more quickly than the rest of the year, so it's never too early to start thinking about how you're going to make the most of 2018!

In working on the diary (aka, planner, if you're in the US), my ultimate goal is create something beautiful that's filled with knowledge and inspiration to make the most of the year. Each month focuses on a unique topic with week inspiration provided in the form of thought-provoking quotes paired with actionable ideas for making the most of each and every day. Themes for 2018 include: Openness, Imagination, Gratitude, Awareness, Passion, Perspective, Friendship, Patience, Connection, Focus, Compassion, and Transformation. Each one is explored in detail through motivating affirmations, relevant quotes, engaging activities, and provocative questions I've chosen specifically to help you feel engaged and inspired.

Watch me flip through it and chat briefly about each monthly spread here: 
 


Can't see the video? Click here to watch on YouTube

 

Creating this diary has become an annual tradition for me, and it's one of my favorites. It not only serves as a guide for others to embrace positivity, awareness, and self-love all year long, but I also use it myself, and, even though I was the one to write it, I still find new and surprising insights every time I use it. If you purchase the diary and make use of it throughout the year, you'll find yourself empowered and informed by the words of wisdom, the weekly activities, and the makes-you-think questions. And, perhaps the greatest thing about the diary is that it'll inspire you to explore the topics in the real word, with activities and prompts that get the ideas off the page and into your daily life! 

If you're ready to get ready for 2018, pick up your copy at a local bookseller or online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online retailers! Here's where you can get in on Amazon US: 

Every Day Matters 2018 - Desk Size 

Every Day Matters 2018 - Pocket Size 


I hope you love using it as much as I love creating it. If you have any questions about the content, layout, or where to purchase a copy in your country, leave a comment below! 


17 Years Ago I Turned 17: Part 2


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Last week, I celebrated the seventeenth anniversary of the day I turned 17 (yes, I'm now 34!) by sharing some of the life lessons I've learned over the past year. Like so many of us, I'm always learning and growing and changing, and I really enjoy reflecting on what I've learned over the past year. (I highly recommend doing it whenever you have a birthday. We're often so busy and moving so quickly through life that we don't often pause to reflect on what we've learned, and b-days are a great time to do this!)

Without further ado, here's Part 2 of the 34 life lessons I've learned this year. (And here's Part 1 if you missed it!)

 

18. PICK PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOUR B-DAY.

This might sound superficial, but the way people react to your birthday says a lot about them and your relationship (even if they're not a big "birthday person.") Birthdays are kind of silly, yes, but they're also symbolic of the day you were born. If the people in your life aren't excited about that, well... That's not great. Birthdays are a great time to assess where you stand with people, and whether or not those people are having a positive impact on how you feel about yourself. 

 

19. BE KIND TO YOUR BODY. 

Over the past few years, I've had to deal with health issues, which is something I'd not encountered before. It's taught me a lot of things, but mostly it's taught me that health is a kind of wealth (see: Health Is Wealth: How to Cope When You're Feeling Poorly), and you have to work hard to achieve it. While I've been very consistent about my yoga practice, I definitely need to step up my game when it comes to eating healthy food! 

 

20. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET BEING NICE.

Sometimes being nice is really, really hard. Depending on the situation, your mood, the other people involved, etc., being kind can be the most difficult choice to pick, but I've been reminded over and over again this year that you'll never regret being nice. Even when you have a completely different point of view, when you're angry or upset, being nice is the right choice. For some tips on niceness and compassion, check out:  Campaigning for Compassion: 8 Essential Tips We Need Now

 

21. MAKE THE MOST OF A BAD DAY. 

Every one of us encounters bad days from time to time, but I've discovered that most bad days are only as bad as you make them. Once things start going downhill a little bit, it's difficult not to feel like everything is going downhill, to take notice of all the little annoying things you might not think about on a good day. Over the past year, I've had a lot of stressful days, so I made this for myself: Stressful Day?: 20 Things to Add to Your To-Do List. If you're stressed, it might help you too! 

 

22. LEARN ABOUT WHAT YOU LOVE. 

"Do what you love" is one of those cliched phrases that's wonderful if you have the ability to make it happen, which isn't always the case for everyone. This year I've had to do a lot of things I don't really love, but I've realized that there's something you can also do what it comes to things you're passionate about: learn about them! There's a freedom that comes from being passion about something, and there are lots of ways to connect to it. Check out this for ideas: Finding Freedom: 6 Ways to Connect to Your Passion

 

23. DO SOMETHING NEW EVERY SO OFTEN. 

For some people, doing new things is easy, but, if you're like me and really love that comfort zone, it can be hard to push yourself out of it, but it's worth it. I've rarely looked back and thought, wow, I wish I hadn't tried that thing. Even if I hated it, it gave me an experience I'd never had before and experience really is the greatest teacher. One new thing I did this year was create and launch a new product, the Instant Insta Self-Love Card Deck, and it was so great to try something new!  

 

24. REMEMBER: IT WON'T LAST. 

The good times? They're fleeting. The bad times? Also fleeting. When things have been tough this year, I kept coming back to this concept because, whether it's a good time or a bad time (like when you're coping with a meltdown), reminding yourself of the fleeting nature of life usually brings you back to the present and allows you to either enjoy the good moment or cope more effectively with the bad. 

 

25. LOOK FOR MAGIC EVERYWHERE. 

The concept of magic has become a trend over the past few years, but I've always been drawn to it. I'm not talking about magic in the witchcraft sense (though that is fascinating too!); I'm talking about the magic of everyday things and experiences. So often we focus on some grand future moment that we're not realizing how much magic is already in and around us. This year, I've focused a lot on self-love, and part of that had to do with learning to reclaim my own magic

 

26. SHARE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED WITH OTHERS. 

One of the reasons I started Positively Present all those years ago was so that I could share what I was learning as I was going through my own growth. I always love learning life lessons from others so it made sense that I'd want to share my own, like some of the ones I shared in How to Make Your Life Uncommonly Good. Despite our differences, we all go through a lot of the same experiences and emotions and you can create real connection with others when you share what you know. 

 

27. FEAR IS PART OF LIFE. LEARN TO SIT WITH IT. 

Like most people, I don't love being afraid. But I've faced some pretty dark moments over the past year, like when I wrote this Clearing the Clouds: How to Cope with Panic, and those difficult times have reminded me that fear is a part of life. No matter who you are, you're going to experience some fearful, panic-inducing moments, so rather than try to run from them (as I'm always tempted to do), this year I really learned to sit with my fear.  

 

28. BE GRATEFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY. 

Cheesy as this sounds, today is not guaranteed. Every day you wake up, regardless of what you wake up to, is a fresh opportunity. I've always been well-aware of the value of gratitude, but this year I started keeping a detailed gratitude list, and I think it's helped my mindset in some big ways. If you're looking for some gratitude inspiration, here are three posts I've written this year about it: 26 Things to Be Grateful For (+ a Free Download!)100 Things to Be Grateful For (Part I), and 100 Things to Be Grateful for (Part II)

 

29. GET RID OF WHAT YOU NO LONGER NEED. 

This spring, I wrote Springtime Simplifying, Sorting, + Selling while I was in the midst of getting rid of a lot of things. Not only did it feel amazing to get rid of things I no longer used or needed, I also made a good bit of extra money selling some of my things. :) For a lot of people, I know letting go of things can be challenging, but I recommend giving it a try, waiting a few days, and assessing how you feel. More often than not, you'll have completely forgotten about what you got rid of! 

 

30. APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE (AND PETS!) IN YOUR LIFE.

I'm so thankful for the people I have in my life who provide me with support, encouragement, and love. Because I've been fortunate to have a great group of people around me for most of my life, it's sometimes easy to take them for granted. Still, with the help of my gratitude list, I've been reminded daily of how lucky I am. Here are two posts about the wonderful benefits you might get from those around you: 10 Positive Benefits of Having a Sibling and The Positive Power of Pups: How Dogs Can Help You.

 

 

31. KNOW THAT YOU WILL ADAPT. 

One thing that's definitely topped my life lessons list this year: you might not think you could ever handle a certain situation / person / job / etc., but if faced with something difficult, you will be stronger than you ever thought you could be. We, as people, are pretty darn resilient, and we can adjust to new situations surprisingly well. I learned this first hand a few times this year, and shared some thoughts on it in this post: 5 Tactics for Conquering Positive Change.

 

32. DON'T HATE IT 'TIL YOU'VE TRIED IT. 

It's fine to dislike certain things, but not without having given them a fair shot. Unless something truly terrifies you, try giving it a chance. It won't kill you to try a new food or get out on the dance floor for a song or two. The minute you say, "I don't..." or "I can't..." you limit yourself. Open-mindedness is an important life skill and one I've used a lot over the past year. You can check out me lettering a piece and chatting about it here in Lettering Life Lessons: Being Open-Minded.

 

33. KEEP YOUR PERSPECTIVE IN MIND. 

If you want to make the most of your life, I've learned that it really, really helps if you try your hardest to imagine where other people are coming from. So much of what we think and experience has to do with our personal perspective (read more about the power of perspective in Sky or Screen? : The Power of Perspective.) While it's not always easy to be aware of your own perspective, practicing doing so will help you cultivate compassion and empathy, which leads to better relationships! 

 

34. EMBRACE YOUR IDIOSYNCRASIES. 

This is a lesson I find myself learning over and over again each year. There are some things I get really into (Halloween, October, dogs, rainbows, just to name a few) and not everyone gets my weird little obsessions. For the first time in a long time, this year someone called me weird (and not in the nice, jokey way!) and it really inspired me to think about what it means to embrace your weirdness. I, in fact, like being different, and I like people who are different. Embracing weirdness (and having other people around you who do the same) is actually pretty awesome! 

 

 

Whew, that's quite a long list of lessons! It's fascinating to reflect on all that I've learned since my last birthday — both new lessons and old ones brought back into the light — and I hope reading these has inspired you to think about what you've learned recently. If you have any great life lessons you'd like to share, leave them in the comments below! 

 

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5 Ways to Fight Hate (Right Where You Are!)

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In recent decades, we've seen some wonderful, positive progress in our world in terms of tolerance and inclusion, but we've yet to rid ourselves of the terrible ailment of hate. It is still pervasive in society, especially here in America, and it is causing pain and heartache every single day. Hate is not an inherent human trait. It's not something we're born with. It's something we learn. As Nelson Mandela famously said,

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love. For love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

If you're reading this, you're probably the kind of person who's pro-love, anti-hate, but rejecting hate in your mind (or even online) is not the same as actually fighting it. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. When I see some of these horrible situations on the news, my first thought is, This is terrible. This needs to stop! And then, from the safe and privileged position in which I was lucky enough to be born, I feel the inevitable resignation and shame that comes with my next thoughts: But what can someone like me do? Can someone like me even make a difference? 

Online, I see thousands of people condemning acts of hate, but few offering advice or guidance on how to make it stop. Lots of anger and shock (really? how is anyone surprised by anything at this point?) and sympathy swell in my social media feeds, but much of what I read is, in fact, hate-filled, rhetoric that simply turns the hate back on the hateful. And, as much as I understand instinct of outrage, I can't help but think of the wise words of Martin Luther King, Jr.: 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

It's easy to hate those who are hateful, who are committing heinous acts, but, in doing so, it's only hate that wins. I want to do better than simply condemning acts of hate. I want to help change things. But it's difficult to even know where to begin, to know what's effective for change. I sometimes see those in the most vulnerable communities, those most impacted by acts of hate, saying not to ask them for advice on what to do. I completely get where they're coming from — it's not the job of the oppressed to tell everyone else how to help them — but this leaves those of us who (I'll be perfectly frank here) could ignore a great deal of this and get along just fine at a loss for what to do. 

Here's the honest truth: I want to help in a real way, but I don't know how. I want to ask, but I'm fearful of being shamed or blamed or ridiculed because I've seen it happen to others. I could certainly handle the minor discomfort of being dismissed, but then I'd be right back where I started: uncertain of what to do. So, like any good millennial, I turned to the internet for answers. Unsurprisingly, I found a lot of what you'd expect: attend a rally, start an anti-hate group, volunteer at a local organization, etc. All of these are great ideas, but what if those options aren't available to you. What if you're too anxious to attend a rally? What if you're physically unable to march? What if you have zero organizations nearby at which you could volunteer? Does that mean you can't help? 

Extroverted activities are wonderful and can lead to positive change, but you don't have to be marching in DC or volunteering at the ACLU to make a difference. There are a lot of things you can do right where you are, wherever you are. Here are some of the best ways I've found to fight hate, regardless of where you are or what your capabilities are: 

 

SPEAK UP — LOUDLY + OFTEN

Even if you're just one voice in a sea of many, that voice matters. The more people who condemn acts of hatred (even if the only thing you do is retweet someone else's words or share something on Facebook), the better. You might think that you don't have a big audience or you're not in a position to comment on a specific incident or it's not really your business to get involved, but hate — whether its occurring in your home town or across the world — is wrong, and if you're a human living on the same planet as all of these other humans, you have a right (and a duty) to speak out against it. (Reminder: you can speak out against hate without being hateful, which is something a lot of people don't seem to be very good at!) Speak out on social media. Talk to people you know (especially people you disagree with!). If you're not sure where to start, check out How to Share Your Beliefs (Even with People Who Don't Agree)

 

PRACTICE TOLERANCE DAILY

Tolerance isn't just about accepting people of a different race or religious background. Tolerance can begin in small doses, in tiny little shifts in your mind. Look around you at all of the various people in your life, and do what you can to be more tolerant of them. No, this won't lead to major sociological changes, but if everyone made an effort to be more tolerant of other people, of the differences and all the little things that can drive you crazy, that tolerance will spread to bigger things. Remember: you weren't born disliking certain traits or habits, but you've grown to dislike them and you most likely reinforce those beliefs by thinking, Ugh, I hate it when [insert name] does [insert annoying activity]. This isn't to say you have to love everything everyone does, but practice being tolerant of it. (Side note: practicing tolerance does not mean tolerating hateful speech or actions.)

 

RECALL THE BIG PICTURE

It's so tempting to stay in your bubble (particularly if you're born into a nice, safe one), but one of the reasons hate blooms is when we encounter others who don't hold the same beliefs we do. If you're really passionate about something (like, say, equality) and someone else challenges that beliefs (like, say, Nazi-flag-waving white supremacists), it's challenging not to feel enraged or even hateful. But, if we really want to get out of a hate-fueled cycle, we have to step out of ourselves and look for the big picture. We're all human. We're all here. Right now, there are so many reasons to feel disconnected, to feel as if there are sides to be chosen, but, hard as it is to recall sometimes: we're much more alike than we are different. We're all struggling to make the most of whatever we have, to do what we believe is right. (Another reminder: anger doesn't have to equal hate.)

 

STOP HATING YOURSELF

Honestly, it might seem overly simplistic, but I believe if everyone in the world loved him or herself, the world would be a much more peaceful place. I keep reading about the notion that "peace starts with you," and, while that's great in theory, it's really difficult to create outer peace via inner peace if you don't love who you are. All hate comes from fear, and most of what we fear has to do with some story we've told ourselves about certain people or situations. It's human nature to be fearful and to avoid things that make us afraid, but one of the great things about being a human is self-awareness. We can become aware of what we're doing and change it. Cultivate self-love is no easy task, but it's essential for finding both inner and outer peace. Dig deep into the things you dislike about yourself, the things you're afraid of, and challenge them. Fear, as you might have heard before, is a liar. Don't let it guide how you see yourself — or the world around you. 

 

GET POLITICAL

My political M.O. used to be: "politics is a patriarchal, dishonest system and I want zero part in that!" Ah, that old ignorance-is-bliss concept seems so foolish to me now. Political engagement, regardless of where you stand on various issues or people in power, is important. It's one of the greatest ways to affect change. You might be one person, but you can make a difference with your political actions. Reach out to your representatives, to those on the local and state and federal levels, who have access to making major changes. Tell them what matters to you. Tell them how you feel about hate and ask that they stand for the things that will bring more unity, connectedness, and love into our communities. And, of course, when it's time: vote, vote, vote for those people who shut down hate at every chance they get. 

 

Of course, this is just a small list of things you can do to make a difference. If you have children, you can teach them to value equality and inclusiveness. If you work in an organization with political influence, you can speak to those at the top and urge them to reject hateful acts or policies. If you have the time and ability, you can volunteer or even take a job at an anti-hate organization. If you're loaded with extra cash, you can show your support financially. If you're a march-goer, you can attend rallies and marches in your town. There are countless ways you can make the world a less hateful place, but, as cliche as it is to say, it does start with you. It starts with how you think, how you speak, how you act. You might feel, like I often do, that you're helpless, but you're not. Every single one of us has more power than we realize. And it's completely up to you how you use that power. Choose love and keep choosing it. Again and again and again. 

 

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