positively present

how to turn a negative into a positive

(  ♥)

 

Today's post was written by Diana Raab, author of eight books, including Healing with Words: A Writer's Cancer Journey, which came out this year. After 25 years as a medical and self-help writer, she’s directed her creative energy towards nonfiction and memoir writing and today she's written a wonderful post about how you can turn a negative in your life into a positive. As a two-time cancer survivor, Diana knows a thing or two about battling the negative and I'm pleased to say that her advice is spot-on for helping anyone transform what's negative into positive. 

 

My father taught me to always look at the glass half full rather than half empty. This really helped shape me into an optimistic person. I am a two-time cancer survivor and the key to my survival and ongoing good health is my ability to turn a negative into a positive. Instead of allowing this situation to tear me down, I allowed it to rivet me and make me stronger.

Whether it’s cancer, a stressful job, money woes, family or social pressures, turning negatives into positives is the best way to take control of your health. Doing this can help you lead a life with less worry. For me, journaling has helped me survive difficult times. I have had a passion for journaling since the age of ten when my mother gave me a journal to help me cope with the death of my grandmother. The art of journal-keeping can help you make sense of your predicaments and it also helps to dispel the negative energy which might be harbored inside of you.

Another way to turn negatives into positives is to incorporate deep breathing and yoga into your life. Taking deep breaths using your diaphragm will help calm you down so that you can work through your problems with more vitality and focus. My cousin has a mantra which I truly believe in: “From all bad comes good.” In other words there are positive lessons to be learned from the challenging things that happen in our lives.

 

We are all deeply affected by those who surround us—both their aura and allure affects our own feelings and behavior. Those who are negative not only drain our energy but their negativity can easily rub off on us. That’s why it is  important to surround yourself with those who think positively, especially if you have a tendency to be overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Remember that how we think and what we are thinking affects how we feel. As Louise L. Hay wrote in her book, The Power is Within You, “The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” A mere negative thought can trigger a memory, light up an old wound, and send a person down a negative spiral of low self-esteem.

 

If you find that you are overwhelmed with negative thoughts try to stop that flow by replacing each negative thought with a positive one. Another idea is to visit YouBliss. It’s all about sharing positive thoughts. Anyone can create and add content and also send stories to others. It’s a site that will cheer you up. Just yesterday I added a post that said, “Live every moment as if it were your last.” In summary, here are some tips to turn negatives into positives:

How To Turn Negatives Into Positives

 Avoid ultimatums

 

Think through obstacles

 

Speak positively

 

Reach out to those who think positively

 

Focus on what you are good at

 

Force or encourage yourself to smile and/or laugh

 

Engage in activities that decrease stress

 

Journal positive thoughts

 

Practice deep breathing and yoga

 

Replace a negative thought with a positive one

 

Diana Raab, author of this post, reminds us that: "The most important thing is commit to yourself to thinking positive. Eventually, with practice, it will happen!" And I couldn't agree with her more. She is an inspiration to anyone who has ever struggled with negativity and she is a true example of how someone -- no matter how hard things get -- can truly look at the world through a positive lens. Want to learn more about the inspiration that is Diana Raab? Check her out online on her website, her blog, her Facebook page, or her Twitter page. 

book review: the shadow effect

  

“The shadows are as important as the light.”

Charlotte Bronte

 

When I was recently sent a copy of The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self, I couldn't wait to dive into the book. After all, who doesn't want to illuminate the hidden power of one's true self? And, c'mon, who wouldn't be curious about what "the shadow effect" is? It sounds so wonderfully ominous. Once I delved into the book, I learned that the shadow is our dark side, the part of ourselves we want to run from or ignore. But, as many of you may already know, running from the side of yourself that causes you pain or suffering only brings about more pain and suffering. The Shadow Effect deals with what it means to have a shadowed self and how we can use that shadow to make the most of what we have the potential to be. 

According to the The Shadow Effect: Illuminating the Hidden Power of Your True Self, "it is only by embracing our duality [of good and bad] that we free ourselves of the behaviors that can potentially bring us down. If we don't acknowledge all of who we are, we are guaranteed to be blindsided by the shadow effect." The book offers up the idea that, if we fully embrace who we are, we'll find that what's inside of us -- both good and bad -- can actually impact our lives positively. This underlying idea permeates the book, but it is brought to readers through three unique perspectives from Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford, and Marianne Williamson. The book promises that "after reading this book you will never think of your shadow self in the same way again." And, I have to say, the book kept its promise. 

You might think you don't have a shadow self, a darker side of you, and that you don't need to read a book like this one. But you're wrong. We all have shadows -- things that hurt us, cause us pain, and lead us to be afraid -- and if you take time to understand what it means to have this darker side and to comprehend how you can use both the positive and negative within you, you'll be able to experience a completely different view of your world. As I read in the introduction to the book, "The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered but a fertile field to be cultivated. When we dig our hand into its rich soil, we will discover the potent seeds of the people we most desire to be." 

Now I'm going to go through the book and its three parts a little bit so you can have an idea of what you can learn if you pick up your own copy. The book is divided into three parts: "The Shadow" (Deepak Chopra), "Making Peace with Ourselves, Others, and the World," (Debbie Ford), and "Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness" (Marianne Williamson). 

 

 

The Shadow

 

The book begins with Deepak Chopra's discussion of the concept of the shadow. Chopra writes, "In the fog of illusion [aka, the shadow], we don't even see our worst impulses as self-destructive. They're irresistible, even fun...The shadow exerts its power by making the darkness seem like the light." These lines had me hooked and thinking back to the days when I used to view the world through a negative lens. The shadow of negative thinking can be a strong force and it can take over our mind in such a way that it seems like it's fun. (Just think of so many self-destructive behaviors that actually seem like fun!) Admittedly, I'd been a bit doubtful when I'd opened the book. I was curious about the shadow effect, but I wasn't sure how it could really be applied to me. Reading Chopra's words led me to believe that there really is a shadow within all of us and it's something we must truly understand to move forward positively with our lives. 

Chopra notes that one way the shadow takes shape within us is in the form of projecting, which happens when we feel like we're not good enough so we look around to see what's not good enough in others. Projecting our own insecurities on others results in states such as superiority, injustice, arrogance, defensiveness, blame, jealousy, etc. It is one of the key ways the shadow within us dominates us. What I found most interesting about Chopra's insights on projecting was this: Chopra notes that one of the easiest ways to determine if you're projecting on others is to look for negativity. He writes, "...projection is never neutral. It manifests as negative energy because what it's disguising is negative." When you are experiencing negative emotions towards others, you are most likely projecting your own negativity onto them. Now, I know this is no brand new revelation, but every time I read about this concept, I'm reminded to be more conscious of my feelings towards others. 

In his section, Chopra asks one of the best and most basic questions relating to one's shadow self: "Why is it so hard to let go of negative emotions?" I don't want to give it all away (since you should really check out the whole book for yourself), but Chopra unveils why it can be so difficult to let go of negative emotions -- and how to start actually letting go of them. One of the ones to do this, according to Chopra, is to rebuild you emotional body, a concept I found fascinating and a section I would definitely recommend to anyone looking to rid their lives of negativity. The concept of the emotional body is an intriguing one, especially as it relates to the physical body. Chopra writes, "Every time you feel a negative emotion, your emotional body is expressing discomfort, soreness, fatigue, or pain," and Chopra notes that we should not ignore those feelings of discomfort or pain. 

Chopra, in this section, also provides some wonderful insights on how to let go of negativity and one of the best take-aways from this segment (and the book!) was this line: "You get the emotions you think you deserve." It sounds unfair or maybe even cliche, but it is so true that, if you focus on certain emotions, you will experience those emotions. You must be aware of what you are feeling and learn how to deal with both the positive and negative forces within you. 

 

 

Making Peace with Ourselves, Others, and the World

 

Debbie Ford discusses how we can make peace with ourselves, others, and the world by understanding and addressing our shadows. She writes, "The great Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung tells us that our shadow is the person we would rather not be," and adds, "our shadow is everything annoys, horrifies, or disgusts us about other people or about ourselves... our shadow is all that we try to hide from those we love and all that we don't want other people to find out about us." You may be reading this and thinking, "I don't have anything to hide! I don't have a dark, shadowy self that I hide from my loved ones!" But is that true? Really? Truly? Deep down, are there parts of you that you would rather no one else see? I believe, as Ford does, that all of us have a shadow self within us and, often, we do not deal with these shadowed versions of who we are, but, instead, we choose to repress them. 

Ford writes, "It is our dark side, the repressed and disowned aspects of our personality, that cuts us off our true self...whatever we have hidden away in shame or denied out of fear holds the key to unlock a self that we feel proud of... This is why we must explore our shadow." If we want to know our true selves, we really do have to explore our darker sides. And I could relate to Ford when she wrote, "It is not my light that has led me to wisdom...but my battle with my dark side... It is the very darkness that I spent the first part of my life running away from that is now my passion." It is difficult, as Ford discusses in the book, to come to terms with your dark side, the side of you that you would love to run away from. But the journey of discovering and coming to terms with your shadow "will lead you to find your most authentic self--a place where you feel at home with who you are, where you recognize your weaknesses and your strengths, where you can bask in your gifts, admit to your imperfections, and admire your greatness." Examining your shadow self, as Ford notes in her section, really is essential to living the most positive life possible. 

One of my very favorite passages in the book is featured in Ford's section of the book. From reading this passage alone I learned so much about what it means to have a shadow self and how understanding it is so very important. Ford writes: "The I Ching tells us, 'It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any self-deception or illusion, that light will develop out of events, by which they path to success may be recognized.' Only in the presence of an unwavering commitment to facing our demons does the doorway to self-discovery open... To understand our shadow completely takes a willingness to let go of what we think we know." These words are so true and, in the book, you'll find some really great passages and insights on how to understand your shadow self. 

Ford reminds readers of a concept in literature that often applies to real life: "heroes are only as strong as their villains." Our shadows are often repressed in the stories of our lives, but Ford tells us, "if we allow our shadow characters to serve as integrated parts of our whole self -- as colorful, powerful forces for the good -- they will lead us to richer experiences..." As you may know from experience (or perhaps simply from watching some good action films), you cannot fight darkness with darkness and expect to win. (Take it from me -- I've tried this route and I can guarantee you it does not work.) Ford writes, "we can't fight darkness with darkness. We have to find compassion and embraces the darkness inside us in order to understand it and, ultimately, to transcend it." 

Only Light Can Cast Out Darkness 

 

"We live in a world of constant juxtaposition between joy that's possible and pain that's all too common...We know there is good in the world, but we know there is something else as well," Marianne Williamson writes in this section of the book. Her section focuses a great deal on love and how it is up to us to take what love we have and to expand it not only to those around us, but to the world. She focuses not so much on understanding the shadow that covers some of our selves, but on ridding our lives (and the lives of others) of the shadow. 

One of my favorite lines in Williamson's section is this: The shadow, "like all darkness, is not an actual presence, but is rather the absence of light." According to this way of thinking, the shadow is not the presence of something bad within each of us, but the absence of something good. Personally, I think this is a very interesting way to think about the shadow and its effect on our lives and it was lines like this that left me pulling away from the book and staring out into space, my mind filled with these though-provoking words. 

Williamson also provided more thought-provoking concepts with passages like this one. She writes,"What makes us forget who we are, thus turning off the light and splitting the world into two separate states--love and fear? It is one thought: that someone is guilty. How we deal with human imperfection is the essential question that decides whether we dwell in the shadow or in the light." After reading this, I thought to myself how true it is. Underlying nearly everything we do is the concept of human imperfection and how we deal with that concept really is dependent on whether or not we will choose lightness or darkness. 

Williamson chooses, unlike her author counterparts, to focus more on the concept of overpowering the shadow (with love) rather than understanding the shadow. She notes, "We need to expand our sense of love beyond the personal, to its social and political implications as well. Only in doing so will we cast out the darkness that now hangs like a specter above the world. Living in the darkness, we are living in the shadow. And in the shadow, suffering reigns." She encourages readers to look past the shadow and the darkness and see what love lies there. There is, she believes, an infinite amount of love that can transcend the darkness of the shadow and all of the suffering that comes with it. She writes, "Any thought not filled with love is an invitation for the shadow to enter. We are led to believe in the myth of neutrality: that we don't really need to love as long as we don't actively do harm. But every though either heals or harms." 

Williamson advises, ""In order to avoid the clutches of the shadow, we must constantly reach for the light," and, in a particularly thought-provoking comment, she adds, ""To shadow, the light is an enemy. But to the light, the shadow is nothing. It simply does not exist." When you think about that, the concept of shadow/light is completely intriguing. To the shadow, light is the enemy, but to the light, the shadow is nothing. We therefore, as Williamson encourages, must focus on the light in order to overcome the darkness of the shadow. In the light, the shadow will be nothing. 

 

 

As you can see from the passages above, there are many ways of looking at the concept of the shadow, and, to be perfectly honest, reading the book is one of the best ways to fully understand some of the concepts surrounding the shadow and how one can comprehend and overcome the shadow within one's self. If you've ever experienced negativity or pain or hurt or loss, this book is for you. It really provides such great insight into how we can make the most of our lives by understanding the darker sides of ourselves. Yes, I know this sounds unpleasant, but, truly, it's not. It's one of the best ways, in fact, to live a positive life. Toward the end of her section, Williamson writes a few lines about shadows that made me realize how relevant this book is for everyone. She writes, "Every person and every group of people has a shadow; that does not make us bad. It makes us human. The point is not to hate the shadow, for it is simply our wounded places that need to be healed." No matter who you are, you have a shadow. Which means, no matter who you are, you can benefit a great deal from reading this book and uncovering what your shadow effects your self and how you can use your shadow to make the most of the negative and positive forces within you. 

To learn more about The Shadow Effect book (and movie!), visit TheShadowEffect.com. 
To learn more about this book tour and see others' reviews of the book, visit TLC Book Tours. 
To check out the movie trailer for The Shadow Effect, visit YouTube. 
To purchase the book online, visit Amazon or Barnes & Noble. 

the emotional effect: how to deal with others' negativity

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The other day as I was sitting in a meeting I could, for the first time, fully appreciate the phrase "you could cut the tension with a knife." Everyone in the room was nervous, tense. There were anxiously rapid eye movements, toes tapping, and legs jiggling. There were people shifting in their seats and shifting the tones of their voices. It was intense -- and it was stressing me out. I thought to myself, "How in the world can I be positive in this situation when everyone in this room is so anxious?" I'd gone into the meeting with a perfectly calm, perfectly upbeat attitude, and suddenly I'd felt my good mood draining. I had to find a way to deal with the situation before I became a finger-tapping, voice-raising mess.

I'm sure you've been in similar situations -- situations in which everyone in a room is in a much different state of mind than you are. If the energy of others is negative, it can really affect you. I, for one, am quite prone to picking up on the tone and mood of others and I know it can change my mood completely when someone else is in a negative place. When I found myself stuck in this meeting, I realized that there had to be a way to stay where I was (I didn't have much choice at that point) while still staying calm. Here's what I did...

How To Cope With Others' Negativity

• Focus on yourself. As I was I was sitting in that meeting, nearly going crazy from all of the tension I could feel floating around the room, I thought to myself, "How do I bring this back to me? How do I get away from the emotions of others and focus instead on my own emotional state?" I began asking myself the following questions: How are you feeling right now? How is your body reacting to the emotions of others? How do you want your body to react? What do you really think of the situation? How can you focus more on your own thoughts and less on the reactions of others? Once I started asking myself these questions and redirecting my focus to myself instead of to the others in the room, I began to feel a lot better. I realized that I was actually feeling just fine and that I couldn't let their negative energy take away from my pleasant mood.
  
  
• Use a mantra or phrase. A lot of people find it very helpful to have a key word or phrase that they can use whenever they're feeling stressed out. I've found that this usually works for me. I try to focus on whatever I want to be -- such as calm or positive -- and repeat the word to distract me from whatever negative situation is going on around me. It can really help you focus on what's happening within you (rather than external factors) and gives you a way to center yourself. Another way to do this would be to take deep, calming breaths (though this is a bit harder when you're in a situation like a meeting; it's hard to take deep breaths in a board room without looking like you're hyperventilating...). Repeating a mantra (in your head) or taking deep breaths can really help you to focus and calm down, guiding you away from negative emotions around you.  
  
  
• Remove yourself mentally. When you find yourself in a tough spot, sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation mentally. While I'm not for avoiding negative situations all together (see Monday's post on the 3:1 ratio), I do think sometimes you have to give yourself a break and let your mind vacate certain situations. If you can remove the negativity from yourself by removing your mental state from the negative place you've found yourself in, you'll probably gain a lot more clarity about the situation and how it's make you (not others) feel. If you're tremendously bothered by a situation, sometimes it helps to remove yourself from it (even if you can't do so in a physical way) by doing your best to think of more positive things. I'm not suggesting you tune out every time you have to deal with something hard, but if the negativity of others is overwhelming you, sometimes it's okay to take a mental time out.
  
  
• Realize it will end. In my experience, I've found that it's essential to remember that the difficult or negative situation you find yourself in will eventually end. As obvious as this might sound, it's so important to keep that in mind as you make your way through whatever the situation is. By reminding yourself that this situation will, at some point, be over, you're giving yourself the opportunity to keep the particular situation in perspective. When you're surrounded by negativity, it's very important to put it in perspective because, as you know, keeping it in perspective will help you keep your cool -- even if no one else in the situation seems to be able to.

Of course, it wasn't all that easy to do these things. It can actually be really difficult to remove yourself from the emotional states of others. I'm sure you've all heard of "the butterfly effect" and I think of this emotion transfer as very similar to that. One person's emotional state can have a ripple effect that travels from person to person. For example, let's say someone in that meeting I was in was very tense and then I became tense because of that. I could take my tense-ness out of the meeting and make someone else tense too. See how that works? It could go on forever that way if we don't make an effort to keep a safe distance from the emotional states of others.  

On the flip side, it's important to remember that you can also catch the positive emotions coming from others so if you want to be more positive, surround yourself with people who are positive! You can't always choose who you surround yourself with (for example, at work), but often you do have a choice. If people are bringing you down and making you feel negative, you need to really think about the purpose of those people in your life. If someone is an overall drain, you're probably better off without him or her. However, if you just find yourself in a bad situation or with a normally positive person who happens to be in a funk, look to the suggestions above and give them a try. Negativity isn't 100% avoidable, but there are definitely ways to deal with it that will make even the worst situations more productive and bearable.

What do you do when you find yourself in a negative situation?
Do you have any helpful tips for dealing with others' negativity?

make the 3-to-1 ratio of positivity work for you

(♥)

What is positivity? Lately I've been thinking about this a lot lately because, due to my job situation, I haven't been very happy. I haven't been happy... but I've still be positive. So what does it mean to be positive? For the past week or so I've been reading Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, which I've been meaning to read for awhile. So many have recommended that I read it, but it took me a long time to actually buy the book and start reading. And from the first page in, I've been saying to myself, "Why did it take me so long to read this???" The book is fascinating, filled with real scientific research about positivity but put together in a way that's not dull and dragging. Before cracking open the cover of this book, I often thought that positivity was pretty simple. It was just a generally good attitude that seemed to, in my experience, make everything better. But positivity, I'm certainly discovering, is a lot more -- so much more! -- than that. The author responds to her own question, "And what is positivity anyway?" with this statement: 

"Let's start with what it isn't. Positivity doesn't mean we should follow the axioms 'Grin and bear it' or 'Don't worry, be happy.' Those are simply superficial wishes. Positivity runs deeper. It consists of the whole range of positive emotions -- from appreciation to love, from amusement to joy, from hope to gratitude, and then some The term is purposely broad. It includes positive meanings and optimistic attitudes that trigger positive emotions as well as the open minds, tender hearts, relaxed limbs, and soft faces they usher in. It even includes the long-term impact that positive emotions have on your character, relationships, communities, and environment." 

When I read that, it really hit home that positivity is so much more than it seems. It's not just that "Be happy!" attitude (one that I haven't mastered and doubt I ever will); it's more than that and it's more important than that. As Fredrickson writes, "Positivity doesn't just change the corners of your mind, trading bad thoughts for good ones; it also changes the scope or boundaries of your mind. It widens the span of possibilities that you see." If I were to have read that even one year ago I would have scoffed and thought, "Bullshit. Positivity is just something people who don't think much about life possess. Anyone who's really thinking knows there's nothing to be positive about." But now... Now I know first hand that these words are true. Having a more positive attitude and incorporating more positivity into my life has changed the scope of my mind. The possibilities of my life have changed tremendously since I decided to seek out positivity. 

One thing I've struggled with is the notion that I cannot be positive all the time. It's pretty much impossible to always have a positive attitude, but I've often wondered, "How much positivity is enough? How much do I need to have to generally be a positive person?" According to Fredrickson's research, we should "aim for a positivity ratio of at least 3 to 1. This means that for every heart-wrenching negative emotional experience you endure, you experience at least at least three heartfelt positive emotional experiences that uplift you." Reading this I breathed a sigh of relief. I don't have to be positive all the time and I don't have to deny negative emotions (which I've always know would be a bad, bad idea). 

As Fredrickson notes, "The beauty of the 3-to-1 positivity ratio is that it's large enough to encompass the full range of human emotions. There's no emotion that needs to be forever shunned or repressed." I've often grappled with how one can be a positive person and still experience negative emotions and reading about Fredrickson's 3-to-1 ratio has really helped me to realize that just because you want to be positive doesn't meant that you're not going have bad times or experience negative emotions. In fact, as Fredrickson suggests, you need those emotions. You need to have a balance. A 3-to-1 balance, apparently. 

At this point in the post, I'm going to have to highly recommend that you read the book if you're at all interested in this subject. Many people recommended it to me and I kept put it off for some reason and I'm sorry that I did because I was missing out. If positivity is something that interests you, definitely check the book out to gain a full understanding of what the 3-to-1 ratio really means. In the rest of the post I'm going to focus on how I've tried to make the 3-to-1 ratio work for me and how these tips might work for you as well. These suggestions aren't in the book and I have no idea if Fredrickson would agree with them or not, but I know that they've worked for me so maybe they can have a positive impact on you too. 

 

4 Ways to Make the 3-to-1 Positivity Ratio Work for You
  

1. Take baby steps. Yeah, it sounds silly (and may even feel silly), but I've found that doing something positive, like smiling, makes a huge difference.  When I remember to take a few seconds to do a small, positive thing, like really smile at someone, it works. Though it seems like a tiny thing, little acts like this can make a big difference when it comes to being positive. 
   
   
2. Accept the negative. It's hard when you're focused on positivity all of the time (as I try to be) to address the things that are negative. It seems sometimes like a better idea to ignore them to say, "Oh, I'll deal with those another time," but it's really never a good idea to do that. If you're feeling a negative emotion, go ahead and fully experience it. It will actually make you better at being more positive! 
   
   
3. Listen and learn. Take a moment to listen to those around you. Are they looking for the good or dwelling on the bad? You can learn a lot from the people around you -- both from the good and the bad traits they possess. Listen to what others are saying and how they are reacting to learn how you would like to react. Take the good thoughts and leave the bad. 
   
   
4. Do your research. If you want to make the positivity ratio work for you, look into it. Read the book if you can or check it out online and gather more information. There's even a test you can take to see what your ratio is right now. The more work you put into understanding yourself and your emotions, the more likely you'll be to find that awesome 3-to-1 balance. 

There are many, many ways to seek a 3-to-1 positivity ratio in your life but a lot of them will depend on you. Your personality, your lifestyle, your mindset -- all of these things can affect your ratio and some of them can even change quite frequently. I've provided the four things that really help me to be more positive. These four things might work for you, they might not. Everyone is different when it comes to understanding their personal positivity ratio so it's important to give it some serious thought if you're working towards this as a goal in your life. I'll leave you with one of the most powerful passages I read in Fredrickson's book because it is the one that, after a year of seeking positivity, I know for sure is true. Silly as it might sound, the possibility for positivity really does lie within you...  

"... the potential for life-draining negativity lies within you, just as does the potential for life-giving positivity. You have more say than you think about which you feel and when. The treasure for your own positivity is waiting." 

guest post: find positivity in negative situations

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As a reminder, I'm on a business trip (oh what fun!) until January 18th. In the meantime, I have some great guest posts to share with you... The post below was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of accelerated online degrees. Check out Accelerated Online Degree to learn more about what she does. I'll admit I don't know all that much about the site, but I do know that learning is pretty important -- and who doesn't like things that are accelerated? When you read the post below, you'll see why I chose to feature Adrienne as a guest author here today on Positively Present. Her article is a great one and really inspired me to look at negative situations differently! 

 

I’m a staunch believer in Murphy’s Law, and for those of you in the dark, it goes something like this – If anything can go wrong, it will. But, in what seems like a complete contradiction, I also believe that I am an eternal optimist. If you’re racking your brains as to how I can do both without coming across as a liar or someone mentally unstable, then you’ve probably never seen positive shades in negative situations. My view of life is simple – be prepared for the worst and the worst will turn out to become the best. That’s how you turn something negative into something rewarding and positive. So if you want to uplift the quality of your life and make it more fulfilling, here’s how you can find positivity in negative situations.

 

• Be proactive, not reactive: When something goes wrong, instead of spending all your time complaining about what has happened, channel your energy towards thinking of how you can put things right. When you avoid reacting to the situation like most people would and instead begin to work out the finer details of what you could do to set things right, you gain a multitude of advantages – one, you are trying to turn positive something that is negative; two, your mind is free of the stress that is associated with things going wrong and is instead involved in the creative task of thinking and planning alternatives; and three, you’re the man or woman of the moment because you don’t panic and are seen as someone who turn around any adverse situation and put a positive spin on things.   

 

• Look at the big picture: Very often, we tend to miss the forest for the trees, especially when things go wrong. It may only be a small problem, but if we fail to see it as just that, we tend to get worked up and stressed out and ruin our health in the process. When something untoward happens, play down the negative effects and think of all the positive things about the situation. For example, when you’re confronted with the news of a loved one’s illness, instead of brooding over it, console yourself with the fact that it is not news of death. By focusing on the larger picture, we can turn around negative situations and make them more positive.

 

• Remember that the situation is temporary: When something bothers me enough to affect my concentration and disrupt my daily routine, I calm myself down with these words – This too shall pass. Any situation, good or bad, is never permanent. It keeps changing, mostly according to your perception of the problem and your attitude in dealing with it. So when you feel yourself stressing out over a negative situation, take a deep breath and tell yourself that it will pass and that good times are just around the corner. This way, you stay positive and are able to focus on what is current and important instead of dwelling on the problem and ruining your regular life.

 

Remember, positive or negative, it’s all in your mind. And it’s up to you to decide which attitude you want to adopt.

 

This guest article was written by Adrienne Carlson, who regularly writes on the topic of accelerated online degree. Adrienne welcomes your comments and questions at her email address: adrienne.carlson1@gmail.com.