positively present

5 ways to stay present in challenging times

 

(♥)

Today's post was written by Henri Junttila. Henri writes at Wake Up Cloud, where he covers topics such as 33 Powerful Ways of Overcoming Fear. He also has a free eCourse that teaches you how to find your passion in 5 days or less. Be sure to stop by his site and check it out! 

 

Everyone goes through challenging times, but most people don’t know how to deal with them. They end up digging themselves into a hole of negativity that they cannot get out of. For many this leads to relentless self-sabotage. The good news is that there are ways to deal with negativity through increasing the time you spend in the present moment. It’s not easy, and it’s not an overnight fix, but it works, and it will transform your life if you let it. Here’s how you do it …

 

5 Ways to Stay Present in Challenging Times

 

1. Curiosity

When you run into challenges, your mind will start racing. It will start looking at all the things that are going wrong, and all the things that can go wrong. This is when you have to become curious. Notice how your mind is getting out of control. Observe the feelings that you are experiencing without judgment. Become the watcher of your inner space, and remember that you are not your thoughts. We have a tendency to get immersed in our thoughts and believe that they are real, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. You are the watcher behind your thoughts.

 

2. Mindset

My mindset has always helped me get through tough times, because every challenge I face I see as an opportunity for personal development. It’s easier said than done, I know, but even a small shift in perspective makes a big difference in how you feel and how well you cope with what is happening. Life is an adventure full of ups and downs. You will never get rid of negativity altogether, so you might as well accept it and use those challenges to grow.

 

3. Awareness

Without a doubt, one of the most important parts of staying present during challenging times is your awareness. Awareness allows me to keep watching my thoughts even as I am writing this. It allows me to feel my fingers type and my muscle move. It will help you notice whenever negative thoughts emerge. A sure-fire sign that you’ve got intruders (negative thoughts) inside is when you start feeling bad. Thoughts precede feelings. When you feel bad, go inside and notice what thoughts are causing it, and get curious about them. Look at what the thoughts are about, notice how the feeling feels, and how it acts. Stay in the now, and allow your thoughts and feelings to be where they are.

4. Meditation

Meditation is a powerful ally. Simply sitting down, closing your eyes, and breathing for 10 minutes can help you accept what you’re going through. It will calm you down, increase your awareness and infuse your life with happiness. It’s not going to transform your life in an instant. It is a practice that needs to be used consistently, but even small amounts of it can go a long way. If you feel yourself slipping out of the now and drowning in negativity, take a time out, sit down, take five deep breaths, close your eyes, and focus all your attention on your breath for 10 minutes. Alternatively, you can focus your attention on your heart, or you can simply observe your thoughts and feeling rush by, like fish in a stream. Everything will pass sooner or later. Thoughts come and go. People come and go, and we come and go.

5. Passion

I know passion is kind of weird to throw in here, but hear me out …You see, when you’re living a life full of passion, you will have a much easier time staying present and tackling the challenges that come up. Years ago, when I was a professional poker player, the challenges I ran into devastated me. Each small thing was like being punched in the stomach by Mike Tyson. It wasn’t pretty, and it certainly wasn’t fun. When I finally let go and summoned enough courage to go after my passion, things started going much more smoothly. Challenges still happen, but I am more motivated than ever to get through them. They help me grow, and my passion helps me stay in the present moment.

 

When you are in the now, you automatically accept what is going on. When challenges pop up, we tend to spin negative stories in our heads, which only make everything worse. Be aware of what goes on inside, accept it, and stay with it. Become a child when it comes to your negative emotions … explore them, play with them, and embrace them unconditionally.

This post was written by Henri Junttila, author of Wake Up Cloud. As I mentioned, he also has a free eCourse that teaches you how to find your passion in 5 days or less. If you're struggling to fin your passion in life, don’t miss it!

 

stop and smell the roses: 5 ways to be present now

(♥)

"Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses."

Walter Hagen

It seems to be this way every year -- one morning I wake up and it's suddenly spring. Trees are blooming, flowers are poking their sleepy heads out of the ground, and birds are chirping excitedly at all hours of the day. It's impressive, the way nature just bursts into bloom so brilliantly every year, surprising me every time. No matter how many times I experience it, spring is always a welcome relief to the cold drudgery of winter. Everything seems once again alive, moving, relieved as I am for the sunshine and the cleansing of the April rain. 

As I was walking my little pup, Bella, this morning it occurred to me that, as much as I think I'm enjoying the springtime, I haven't really been taking advantage of it the way I should be. I haven't been embracing the moment. Before I know it, it will be the way-too-hot summer and I'll be complaining about the ungodly heat so I know it's in my best interest to enjoy these pleasantly warm, flower-bursting days while I can. At this very moment, Bella is out on the balcony, nose in the air, taking in all the scents and sounds of springtime while I am sitting here, indoors, writing.

I'm missing something. I'm not enjoying the beautiful spring days the way I should and, though I've been vaguely aware of that fact for the past few weeks, I still find myself inside participating in activities much more suited to the winter months -- watching movies, baking, spending hours on the computer. It's not that these things don't have value -- they do! -- but it's time for me to stop thinking about the beauty of spring and start actually enjoying it. Here's what I'm going to do to start stopping and smelling those roses. 

5 Ways to Be Present This Spring

1. Go outside as often as possible. This can be a tough one for me, as I love being on the computer. (I'm still not sure why they haven't fixed the glare issue on laptops and iPads so I can take them outdoors and actually see them.) However, being on the computer outside isn't really being present in the spring moment, and I'm going to make a big effort this spring -- starting today! -- to spend as much time outdoors as I can. 

2. Pay attention to the little things. When I'm outdoors, I'm going to make an extra special effort to pay attention to the little things. I'm already pretty good at this -- noticing the new buds on plants, spotting an unusual flower or insect -- but this year I'm going to pay attention even more to the small things around me. I'm a big fan of using my visual sense, but I'm going to start paying attention with all five senses to really get in touch with the season of spring. 

3. Stop rushing and slow down. One of the reasons I struggle to enjoy the season is because I'm often in a rush. I have work, plans, things to cross off of my to-do list. Even on the weekends, I'm often "busy" with something I feel I must get done. If I really want to enjoy this spring, I realize that I must slow down and stop rushing. I need to take my dog on longer walks. I need to take the long way from the parking lot to my office. I need to stop rushing and start slowing down. 

4. Learn the names of plants/animals. It's occurred to me more than once that I have no idea what some of the plants or animals are around my building. I've lived in the same zip code for most of my life and yet I don't know the names of some of the trees I see every single day. I always say I should learn what they are, but I never have. This spring I'm going to finally figure it out. Going through the process of learning more about my environment will certainly help me to be more present 

5. Bring the spring indoors. I cannot tell you how many times my mom has come over to my apartment and said to me, "Why don't you open those windows? Get some fresh air in here!" I usually shake my head and tell her defiantly that I don't want fresh air. But why? Fresh air is probably the very thing I need and there are so few days (when it's not way too hot or way too cold) that I can actually open the windows and let the air in. This spring I'm going to start opening windows, start letting the sounds and smells and sights of spring indoors. 

 

Being present at any time of year is a struggle for me (which is the very reason I started this site!), but it's a skill I'm striving to improve. Every year, I look back on the perfect months that fall between the most aggressive seasons of summer and winter and wonder why I didn't do more to enjoy them. When winter comes around again (or even the sweltering summer heat), I don't want to find myself once again wishing that I'd enjoyed the mellow months more. This year I'm going to make much more of an effort to take part in the spring festivities going on outside in nature -- and I'm going to start by spending the rest of today outdoors! 

How do you enjoy the spring months? 
What advice do you have for someone striving
to be present this spring? 

do what you want now: why i've stopped waiting

 

(♥) 

"Life is available only in the present.
That is why we should walk in such a way
that every step can bring us to the here and the now."

Thich Nhat Hahn

 

 

For the past year or so (and maybe even longer than that!), I've been waiting. Waiting for things to start. Waiting for the time to come when I can stop doing what I'm doing now and start doing what I've always wanted to be doing. I'll come up with a creative idea or storyline and think to myself, "Oh, I'll just do that when I'm writing full time..." or, the lesser evil, "I'll work on that this weekend when I'm rested." I put things off because I'm relying on that wonderful, promising "someday" -- the time when I'll be free to do whatever I want to do, all the time. The time when I'll have all the time in the world and I'll be constantly and continually inspired every single day.

Much as I hate to burst my own bubble, I've recently come to the realization that a time like that is not going to come around. Sure, I might be able to leave my job and write full time. Yes, I might be able to fulfill my lifelong dream making a living as a full-time writer. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stumble into some magical world in which I am never busy, never stressed, and always free to do whatever creative thing my heart desires. Let's be real here: that's not reality. No matter what you're doing, where you're working, how you're living your life, there are a million reasons to push something off until another day. 

Rather than get bummed out by the notion that there is no magical place in which all of my writer dreams will come true, I've decided to take the approach that I stress again and again on this site: I'm going to live in the present. I'm not going to put my writing on pause until the day I leave the 9-to-5 behind and start writing full time. Though sometimes it seems easier to do so, I'm going to stop allowing myself to default to someday.

Admittedly, waiting has been a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. It's nice to think, "Oh, yes, I'll do that when I quit my job and have all the time in the world." When that's actually a real possibility, the use of that excuse seems quite logical. Why in the world would I push myself into a do-it-all mentality right now, when I can wait till the time when time isn't an issue? Silly as it sounds on the screen, in my mind this has been making perfect sense for a long, long time.

I don't know what caused the switch to flip, but about a week or so ago I realized that I was spending all of this time waiting for a day that might never come. Even with all of the planning and preparing and hoping and dreaming, there are no guarantees. A million things could happen that would cause me to put the dream of writing full time on hold. And even though I still believe it's a realistic possibility -- even though I can still see that shimmering light of a dream-come-true out on the horizon -- I know waiting until someday isn't the choice I should be making. 

For the first time in a long time, about a week ago I picked up a notebook and pen and started scribbling. In less than thirty minutes, I'd written a short story -- the kind of story I would have enjoyed reading. It was a small thing, but it was a start. A few days later I was driving home from work and pulled over with my notebook and pen, inspired to write and not willing to wait. It was a sloppy sketch of an idea, but it was something. It was a fierce scribble of words on the page; it was me not waiting. It was a rare moment of following my own advice: living in the now and actually doing exactly what I wanted to do.

With the possibility of pushing something off to someday, it can be hard to live now. And when the someday seems so real, so likely to happen, it can even be more tempting to make "I'll do it later" your catch phrase. But waiting is a risk. There might not be a someday. There might not be a tomorrow. Clouded in negativity as that sentence might sound, the truth of living now shines through like a silver lining. If there is something you're dreaming of -- something you want desperately to do -- don't wait for it. Do it now. Be in the now. Stop waiting. If you don't start now, you could end up looking back at a lifetime of somedays.




A special Happy Birthday shout-out to my mom, who is celebrating her birthday tomorrow. She's always been such an inspiration for me to live in the present and focus on the positive, and I'm so lucky to have her in my life. Happy birthday, Mom! I love you to the sky and back! 

the to-do list for living a positive life

"Yeah, It's been a ride...
I guess I had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you're trying to get out, just follow me
I'll get you there..."

Eminem
"Not Afraid"

Next month it will be Positively Present's two-year anniversary and thinking about that has made me pause and reflect on how things used to be and how they are now. Before I started this site, I was in a particularly low place in my life. I didn't think I would ever come out of it, and most of the time I didn't even care. But, for whatever reason, two years ago something inside me demanded a change and I started working on living a more positive and present life. I knew I needed to be living my life differently and, in order to do that, I knew a lot of things about the life I was living would have to change. 

It has not been easy -- at ALL. Since I started this site, I've made a lot -- and I do mean a lot -- of changes in my life in an attempt to make every day more positive and to live more in the present. If someone had told me two years ago that I would be living the life I currently am, I never would have believed her. So much has changed but, oddly enough, all of these changes have brought to a place where I am more of who I am. It has taken me awhile to get out of the place where I was so unhappy, but I've made a lot of strides in the right direction and every day I'm making process. 

If, as Eminem's quote implies, you find yourself in a place where you're not living a positive life, where you're unhappy and wanting to get out of where you are and into another place, take a look at the To Do list I've created below for living a positive life. These are the things that I've done to get to me to where I am now. Some days I'm still struggling, still seeking something, but when I reflect on how far I've come, I can't help but give credit to all of the changes that have made my life so much better. If you add these items to your daily To Do list, I can guarantee that you'll find your way out of a negative place and into a positive one. 

 

Top 10 To-Do's for a Positive Life

1. Stop doing the things that make you unhappy. This is number one on the list for a reason. Too often we spend time and energy doing things that make us unhappy and too often we don't make the connection between what causes our unhappiness. Look at your life carefully. Are you doing anything that makes you unhappy? When you find yourself at your lowest points, is there anything you can pinpoint that has caused the low point to occur? Often there are patterns that we just don't admit to. Take an extra close look at any alcohol or drug use because these are too often the cause of serious unhappiness and negativity. 

 

2. Surround yourself with people who bring you up -- not down. Just like you must look at the actions your taking and choose not to do things that cause you unhappiness, you must also choose not to be around people that cause you to be unhappy. Sadly, too many people surround themselves with individuals that don't bring them up. If you find that people in your life are bringing you down -- yes, even family members or significant others -- you have to find a way to separate yourself from them. If you want to live a truly positive life, you must be surrounded by positive influences. 

 

3. Invest some serious time in self-love and soul searching. If you want to live a positive life, you must know what it is that you stand for and what matters to you. The only way to go about learning to love yourself is to invest time in it. It might sound silly to some, but finding true love for yourself and really knowing who you are is essential for living your most positive life. Before you can love anyone or anything else fully, you must first love yourself. Don't ever think about self-love or soul searching as a waste of time because, honestly, it is such a valuable asset to living life positively. 

 

4. Spend your time doing the things you love to do. Once you've rid your life of doing things that make you unhappy, you'll suddenly have a lot more free time on your hands. What to do with that all that free time? Spend it doing things you absolutely love to do. Take a moment to think about the times you are the happiness. What are you doing during those times? It doesn't matter if it's a silly thing or something that other people don't quite get. What matters is this: if something makes you genuinely happy, you should spend time doing it. 

 

5. Revise the way you look at the world around you. When going from a negative outlook to a positive one, I really had to spend time thinking about the way I was looking at things. The way you see the world around you is a choice. You can choose to look for the good or you can choose not to. It's completely and entirely up to you. Once I realized this, I understood that it didn't make much sense to focus on the bad things in life. Sure, I had to acknowledge them, but I certainly didn't need to dwell on them. Change your point of view and your whole life will change too. 

 

6. Be open-minded to new (or old!) ideas of living a positive life. I used to be the kind of girl who would scoff at an article like this, thinking these kinds of ideas were pretty much bullshit. However, the more I started opening my mind to new ideas, the more I started realizing that there are a lot of awesome people out there in the world living positive lives and, really, why shouldn't I listen to them? If someone has been successful with an idea for living a positive life, it's at least worth considering. Every idea might not work for you, but having an open mind really helps lead to a positive life. 

 

7. Stop beating yourself up about the past. For too long, I spent way too much time thinking about, revisiting, and quite literally going backward into the past. It was pointless and painful, but for years I did it and caused myself (and others) a great deal of unhappiness. Hard as it is to admit sometimes, the past is over. Going back to it or fretting about it or beating yourself up over it does absolutely nothing. Yes, you can look at your past and learn from it, but you do not need to continue to blame yourself for it or revisit it constantly in your mind. What's done is done. The sooner you learn from it and move on, the better. 

 

8. Don't seek happiness outside of yourself in things or people. One of the things I always used to do was seek happiness outside of myself. If I was feeling unhappy or drowning myself in negativity, I would look outside myself for a solution. But, ultimately, no matter what I turned to, the negativity within me remained. It might be tempting to rely on other people for your happiness or turn to habits like shopping, eating, or drinking to quell your negative state of mind, but, believe me, those outside things never do the trick. You must seek happiness and positivity within yourself. It really is the only way to truly live a positive life. 

 

9. Believe you have the ability to change your own life. This can be a hard one for many people. Over and over again they think or say the worst two words I used to be so familiar with and now dread: "I can't..." The second you let yourself think that way about changing your life, you're setting yourself up for failure. If you don't believe you can change your life, then it's going to be pretty hard to actually do it. Believing in yourself sounds so cliche, but there's a reason that concept has stuck around for so long. Without it, you'll paralyze yourself and living a positive life will be pretty darn impossible.

 

10. Refuse to give up, no matter what happens or what people say. A lot of people look down on those trying to better their lives. Perhaps it is jealousy or fear or just plain ignorance, but for whatever reason, people may judge you. When you strive to change your life -- even if you do only one thing on this list -- there may be people that criticize you or attempt to stand in your way. Don't let them. Don't let anyone or anything come between you and living the life you want to be living. Remember that, no matter what, this is YOUR life. If you want to live it positively, do it and don't let anyone or anything stand in your way. 

 

As much as I'd advise you to do every one of the things on this To Do list, I know from experience how hard even one of these things can be. It takes a lot of hard to work to live a positive life, especially if you're struggling with negativity. But know this: even if you do one thing on this list, your life will improve. And you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try. If you want to live a positive life, do it. There may be obstacles and it may be hard to get from that negative place to a positive one, but, believe me, all of the work will be worth every ounce of effort you put into it because nothing is better than loving the life you're living. 

 

How do YOU live a positive life?
What would you add to this To Do list? 

 

words to live by: be here now

(♥)

Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

"Be Here Now"
Ray Lamontagne 

 

Check out the song on YouTube here. It's a great one! "Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.