Code to Joy: The Four-Step Solution to Unlocking Your Natural State of Happiness is the kind of book that might, at first glance, appear to be just another book offering advice for how to find happiness. But it's so much more than that. For me, in fact, it was life changing. In the book authors Dr. George Pratt and Dr. Peter Lambrou discuss the "fog of distress," a pervasive cloud of unease that affects almost everyone and has the potential to lead people to feel unloved, guilty, ashamed, fearful, and unsafe. (You might be thinking that you don't feel those things, but once you read this book you'll realize that many of your actions and reactions in life come down to those feelings.)
The imagery of the "fog of distress" hooked me into the book from the beginning. Before even learning about the four-step solution, I was intrigued by this concept of fog, a dense, heavy weight on a person that could have been created by a seemingly insignificant (or very significant) event. Here's how they describe it:
"Imagine you are standing just outside your home, surrounded by a dense fog. ... How much water do you think it took to create this fog that surrounds you? ... A few ounces. The total volume of the water in a blanket of fog one acre around and one meter deep would not quite fill an ordinary drinking glass.
...This is exactly what happens with certain painful or difficult experiences.
Human beings are remarkably adaptable. Most of the time, when negative events occur, we are able to learn from them, shrug them off, and go on with our lives. The experience simply evaporates, leaving us a bit older and wiser. But not always. Sometimes, especially when we are very young, we have experiences that we cannot shake. Even if they seem insignificant, no more substantial than a glass of water, when these upsetting experiences evaporate, they then condense into billions of droplets of anger, fear, self-doubt, guilt, and other negative feelings, surrounding us with a suffocating blanket that suffuses every aspect of our lives for years to come.
We call this the fog of distress."
Through their four-step process, Pratt and Lambrou show readers what may have caused the fog of distress, how this fog is hanging over almost everything, and what must be done to overcome it. Rather than focusing only on the mind, Pratt and Lambrou techniques help the body and mind work together to overcome negativity and increase happiness. When I first began reading about some of the physical exercises involved with the four-step process I was a bit hesitant, but I soon realized the things they wrote about actually worked. The exercises in the book (both physical and mental) are designed to help eliminate fear, decrease anxiety, and clear away emotional debris -- and they actually do!
Anytime someone says there is a path to happiness that has less than a handful of steps, I can't help but raise an eyebrow, but I tried to keep an open mind as I read the book and I'm so thankful I did. Through the book, I was able to:
1. Recognize my own fog of distress. This fog of distress, just as Pratt and Lambrou wrote, was "shading [my] thoughts and feelings, reactions and behaviors, [my] view of [myself] and of [my] world -- all largely without [my] conscious awareness that it [was] even there." I suppose I always knew something wasn't quite right and I had an idea that it was related to things that had happened in the past, this book helped me understand much better with the "fog of distress" metaphor just how big of an impact something very small could have on an entire lifetime. Though this isn't even one of the four steps, just coming to terms with this concept was eye-opening for me.
2. Figure out exactly what event(s) had caused this fog. Though I had some ideas of what might have caused the fog in my life, the step-by-step instructions offered by Pratt and Lambrou really helped me to get a much more specific -- and accurate -- idea of what events fogged up my mind, actions, and reactions. Digging deeper into my current mental state -- as well as events from the past -- was essential to begin clearing out the fog. This was not easy to do; in fact, it was downright painful at times. But it was an amazing feeling to finally pinpoint the exact events that continue to impact me today.
3. Identify my limiting beliefs. According to Pratt and Lambrou, there are seven self-limiting beliefs -- stronger than feelings, deeper than thoughts -- that have become "so ingrained into our neural networks they have become automatic." The exercises in the book helped me to identify my two self-limiting beliefs, which have consistently held me back from living the most positive possible life: "I am not safe" and "I cannot trust anyone." Not only did identifying these beliefs help me to understand my past actions (and reactions), but becoming aware of them has also helped me to understand some of the choices I make on a daily basis now.
4. Begin to focus on new, empowering beliefs. As I read in the book, "Just because you identify a false, limiting belief doesn't mean you still don't feel it." Yes, it felt great to recognize my self-limiting beliefs (which explained so much of what I'd done and experienced in the past), but I needed to take it a step further. With the help of Pratt and Lambrou, I discovered that I could empty out these old beliefs and make room for new, positive beliefs. Though there were times when I felt a little silly with the exercise or visualizations, they really started to work and I actually do feel like I'm on the path to unlocking my natural state of happiness.
Whether you realize it or not (I certainly didn't when I started reading the book!), you're probably battling with some sort of fog in your life -- something that is penetrating how you act, think, and live. Many of us are unaware of it and those of us who are aware of it aren't quite sure what to do about it. We are tempted to give into the notion that everyone must feel this way, that it's "normal." It very well might be, but that doesn't mean it must persist. With the help of this book -- and some serious effort on your part -- you too can identify what's been fogging up your mind and, as a result, your life.
With the help of this four-step solution, you have the power to clear out the fog and start seeing life with a clear (and more empowered!) mind. For more on this book (and to pick up a copy), click here.
