positively present

5 simple tips for getting rid of the unnecessary

Today's post was written by Henri Junttila, creator of the awesome site Wake Up Cloud. I recently came across Henri's site when he left a comment on mine and I've been such a fan ever since. On Henri's site you can discover your passion in 5 days and get conscious about your life. I was thrilled that he wanted to write a guest post for Positively Present and I certainly wasn't let down when he emailed me his article. Henri's take on letting go is well-written and worth a read (or two!). Enjoy! 

Simplifying your life is easier said than done. It’s almost as if we’re constantly conflicted about which way to go. On one hand we have our need to consume, to look good and to fulfill a desire to buy and hoard. On the other hand, we have our spiritual side, which enjoys the simplicity. It knows that you do not need all this stuff to be happy. I think as we go through life and learn, we start drifting more towards the spiritual side. The longer you live, the more you realize that you do not need all these things in your life. They will never make you happy, because happiness is not external, it’s internal.

I’ve decided to write this article from a slightly different perspective. There are a lot of good articles out there that tell you what you can do to declutter your life, which is why I want to focus on what’s going on in your mind instead. I recently moved from Sweden to Spain, and I’ve noticed a lot of upheaval in my own mind. I’ve simplified and I’ve come to grips with living with less. It can be tough in the beginning, but ultimately it’s extremely freeing.

1. Acknowledge the Need to Look Good

Even though I live in Europe, I stay in touch with a lot of people from both the U.S and Canada. What I’ve heard is that the culture over there is much more geared towards looking good and getting acknowledged for having the latest clothes, gadgets and cars, especially in the U.S.

The same applies in Europe. Some say it isn’t as serious here, but I’d say that it isn’t too far off. Everyone wants to look good. I think it’s an instinctual need that comes from deep within. I have no clue if this has been proven scientifically but that’s what it feels like. We have the need to look good. If you see someone good looking of the opposite sex pass you by, you instinctively do mental checks on how you look. Is your hair right? Do your clothes look good?

2. Think About the True Cost

When you think about buying something, the price you pay is not the true cost. If you already have a laptop that works, should you really buy another one? Sure, it may be old and not as good looking, but does it get the work done? This is the process I go through whenever I buy something new. Buying a car is the perfect example, because not only are you paying for the car, but you also have to pay for future fuel, repair and maintenance.

You also pay mentally, because you will be worried about your new car getting scratched. What if someone steals it? What if it breaks down in a weird place? There are a lot of mental burdens that you have to deal with when you add a new possession to your life.

3. Less Stuff, More Time

Have you been thinking about how you can work less and have more time to do the things you really want to do? I realize that this isn’t as easy as I’m putting out to be, but I also think that if you truly want something, you’ll find a way to make it true. By having fewer things, you will be able to spend less time at work, theoretically. Here are a few things you can eliminate from your life, or just change for something cheaper:

• Kill any subscriptions you absolutely do not need
• Get rid of your cable TV
• Sell your car or trade it for a cheaper and older one
• Move into a smaller apartment
• Stop buying so many damn clothes

There are just a few examples of what you can do. I buy new clothes a few times a year. I have a few excellent clothes that I wear frequently and that’s enough for me. I don’t have any subscriptions, no TV, no car and no bike. I am able to eliminate transportation because I work from home and live next door to a supermarket, plus I live very close to the buss and railway station. It’s all about being strategic so you can eliminate as many burdens as possible.

Now, I want to say this again, because I know there will be people objecting to this. I’m lucky because I can work from home and most people can’t do that. Well it took me about 2-3 years to finally start getting anywhere with that, so I’m definitely not lucky. I’ve just decided to work hard. The point I want to get across here is that you can eliminate a lot of things from your life to free up your time and money. Start small. You don’t have to sell your house right away. Be nice to yourself and enjoy the process!

4. Beware of Marketing

Marketing is like a knife. It can be used for both good and evil. When you start learning more about marketing, you start becoming aware of all the tactics that are being used against you. It is all set-up for us to consume as much as possible. I have no problem with marketers. They do what they have to do. Ultimately it is up to you to be responsible for your own actions. You have to know what is going on out there.

If businesses want to stay profitable, they have to keep selling. Most businesses are now failing because they aren’t customer-oriented. They want to make as much money as possible, which isn’t working, as you may have noticed. The businesses that thrive now are those that take care of their customers, have a good message, have good products and use good, ethical marketing. So you see, it’s not bad at all, but beware that a lot of commercials and ads out there are trying to push your buttons to get you to buy, buy, buy.


 

5. Your Need to Consume

Somewhere deep down I think we have a need to consume and to hoard. I feel it as I walk past restaurants, stores and other small shops. It feels good to buy things, but is this effect created by our society such as advertising and social pressure, or is it something that lies deep within us? Or maybe both? Do we need to consume, like we needed to hoard food a few thousand years ago? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I have the desire to consume. I have discovered that by channeling my desire into other things, I can, for example, buy food and feel good.

Instead of buying the latest gadget, I can go to the store and buy some popcorn, rice and tomato sauce. I know that’s too simple for many, but there are times when I enjoy simplifying every aspect of my life. It feels good. It’s liberating. It makes you realize that you don’t need all this stuff that we are brought up to believe that we need. You can simplify your life. It feels good and allows you more freedom in your life. So what are you waiting for?

Henri Junttila is a lifestyle superhero and the father of the Wake Up Cloud, a blog about self improvement for conscious people. Be sure to check out his free Discover Your Passion in 5 Days e-course for tips on how to find what you truly love to do in life. 

Photo Credit: (♥) 

the wright way to succeed

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“I know the price of success:
dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion
to the things you want to see happen.”

Frank Lloyd Wright

So you want your life to be a successful one, huh? Me too! No matter what your life goals are -– to be a superstar, to raise a family, to make a lot of money, to complete a very specific task –- you most likely want to be successful in reaching that goal. I recently came across this Frank Lloyd Wright quote: “I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.” Reading this, I realized that this man is on to something. When striving toward a goal –- especially of goal of success –- it’s important to break it down in key elements (and, like Wright, I prefer a nice group of three) in order to make it easier to conquer our goals. Wright has chosen three really essential elements when it comes to talking about success, which is why I’m happy to look to his wise words for guidance. 

According to Wright, in order to be successful we need to be the following: dedicated, hard working, and devoted. I know those words are broad and general (and, upon reading them, make me feel slightly overwhelmed) so I’m going to break it down for us even further here. One of the best ways I’ve found for meeting a goal is to have a plan, an outline of the steps you have to take to make it to the goal line. Since I don’t know what every reader’s individual goal is, I can’t break it down too specifically, but I can take it one step further than Wright has and help you lay the foundation for whatever goal you’re hoping to achieve. Below I will discuss in more detail the three things you need to be to be successful.

To Succeed You Must Be…
 

…Dedicated.

If you really want to succeed at whatever your goal is, you must dedicate yourself to it. I don’t know about you, but every time I’ve done something in a half-hearted way, without putting in my full effort and abilities, it never turns out the way I want it to. Whether you’re working towards a successful job, relationship, blog post, or any other goal, if you’re going to do something and you want to be successful at it, put your whole heart into it. Dedicate yourself. Dedicated your time, your mental energy, your blood, sweat, and tears. If you don’t dedicate yourself to your goals –- and I mean really give it your all –- you’ll always wonder if you gave it enough, if you could have done more. If you give your goals your best shot and try as hard as you can, you will always carry around with you the notion that you did the absolute best you could –- no matter what happens.

  

…Hard Working.

No matter what your goal is, hard work is a MUST. There is no way you’ll be successful (unless you’re just incredibly lucky…and can that good fortune even be called success?) if you don’t put in a lot of hard work. When I’ve read biographies of well-known geniuses or even books like Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, I realize just how much hard work goes into being a success. Sometimes I read stories or articles and people’s lives are depicted in such a way that it seems they just fell into the perfect job or relationship or situation. However, when you dig deeper, it seems that hard work is almost always a factor in success of any kind. It might seem like opportunities just fall into others’ laps, but often these opportunities took work to get to and/or they are merely jumping off points for lots of hard work. It’s not easy to work hard at something that’s not a guarantee, but it’s always worth it. As I said above, it’s much better to know that you worked hard at something –- as hard as you could have –- than to look back on a situation knowing you could have worked harder.

  

…Devoted.

To be devoted is very similar to being dedicated, but it is slightly different. One part of devotion is loyalty. You must be loyal to your goal. Other things will come up. New challenges will arise as you’re working towards your goal, but you have to stay devoted to it, no matter what difficulties you face. Life is always filled with unexpected interruptions. Some of these interruptions and distractions may get in the way of your goal momentarily, but stay focused. If you must deviate from your goal, return to it as quickly as you can. Often when I set a goal I find new goals along the way. These distractions shouldn’t necessarily be ignored, but they should be set aside in favor of your original goal. Keep your eye on the prize and, with all of your hard work and dedication, you'll be able to turn the dream you're devoted to into a reality.

When I first came across Wright's quote, I was instantly in awe of how fitting it was for someone like me, someone who is constantly trying to reach goals and make her way toward her own definition of success. So often we think of the word "success" and, while we know we want it, we have no idea where to begin. Wright's quote helped me to really think about what it is that I want to focus on and, more importantly, what I need to do to really make my goal into a success. While I don’t think these three points are the only things necessary to achieve a goal (I really do believe that a positive attitude is something we must also have!), I do think they are very important and provide a great foundation for anyone with the hope of success. I honestly believe that Wright –- who achieved quite a few goals himself! -– was on to something when he chose these three factors for defining the price of success. For many this is a high price indeed, but the payoffs can be well worth the work when your goals are finally met.

What do you think is necessary to succeed?
What do you do to help make your own success happen?

7 ways to travel the road to your passion

  
  (♥)
 

"Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion."

Georg Hegel

Passion is a personal thing, a journey you're on that consists of you and what you really, truly love. Passion is what makes you smile, what makes you jump for joy, what consumes your thoughts and finds it's way into your conversations without you even realizing it. It's something that means something to you, something that you cannot live without. You can be passionate about things, actions, people. You can be passionate about feelings and abstract concepts. You can be passionate about just about anything. Some people, as you've probably noticed, are more passionate than others. Some people put their whole hearts and souls into the things they care about and give 110% to things that matter to them. It's those people that I want to be like. It's those people that inspire me to pursue my passions and do what makes me truly happy.

What are you passionate about? That's the question I asked myself when I began writing this post. After all, I couldn't very well write about being passionate without first thinking about what I'm passionate about. Honestly, I'm passionate about a lot of things. I'm passionate about the people who mean a lot to me. I'm passionate about certain issues, such as gender equality and animal rights. I'm passionate about things that fascinate and intrigue me, like books and films and art. But one of the things that stands out most in my mind when I hear the word passion is writing. I love to write. I do it as often as I can and, man, do I enjoy it. At home, my shelves are stacked high with journals and spiral-bound notebooks. My computer is bursting with stories and poems and little snippets of ideas. 

Since I've started this blog, I've spent a significant amount of time writing online -- something I've discovered that I love to do. I used to love to write in my journal, to vent all of my feelings onto those blank white pages, but I've come to realize that I'm just as passionate about sharing my writing as I am about actually writing it. I used to be terrified to share anything I'd written, but the older I get, the more I want to share my words with whoever is willing to read them. It's a passion that both excites and terrifies me because I've never been much of an open person. I used to keep my childhood journals under lock and key, hiding them from my family and sometimes even sleeping with them underneath my pillow. I still have passwords of all kinds on my computer, annoying friends and family who will occasionally try to use the computer only to discover it's been locked. I'm still scared, in many ways, about putting myself fully out there, but day by day I'm getting better at letting go and really exploring my passion for writing in a more public way.

Passions aren't always easy. We may feel strongly about something, love it with all of our might, but that doesn't mean it's going to come easily to us. Some of the very best things in life take a lot of hard work and dedication. Some of the very best things in life requiring being brave and pushing ourselves beyond boundaries. For me, my passion is writing. It's the one thing I've always loved and the one thing I probably will always continue to do throughout my life. As much as I love it, it's not always easy to do and it's definitely not always easy to share it with others. Today I'm going to spend a little time talking about how I work to cultivate my passion -- and how you can too. No matter what you love to do, if you want to do it to the best of your ability you have to work on it. You have to push yourself and explore new things and challenge yourself. Here are my suggestions for how you can make the most of your life's passion:

How To Cultivate Your Passion

1. Narrow your vision. If you're anything like me, you can get excited about something and want to take every little bit of it in. When I think about writing, for example, I get very excited. I want to write a book, want to write poems, want to write blogs and articles and journal entries. I want to do it all. It's a great feeling to be that into something and to really want to dive in, but one of the best pieces of advice I can offer regarding cultivating your passion is this: narrow your focus. It can be so tempting to try to do everything and anything associated with what you love, but if you do that you'll find yourself overwhelmed and probably not doing much of anything. Start small. Figure out what you're most interested in and zero in on that. In the future, you can always expand your vision, but start off narrow for the best results. Focus is so important and it can really slip away from you when you get excited about something. If you feel completely overwhelmed and don't know where to start, make a list of the things you love about your passion and rank the items. You'll quickly discover what matters most to you and you can then take that information and focus on it.
   
   
2. Integrate it into your life.Passionate about something? Don't leave it in a corner of your house or apartment and hide it from the world. I used to say I was a writer because I was sitting at home in my apartment typing away on my computer. Yes, I was a writer, but I was a writer in hiding. I wanted to live this totally different life -- a positive life -- and yet I would sit alone and write most of the time. I still do this today, but I also work hard to share what I write with the world. I'm blogging three days a week. I'm writing guest posts for others' sites. I'm online on social media sites trying to get the word out about what I'm writing about. I'm telling friends and family about my blogs. It can be hard work (and, in my case, pretty intimidating) to share what you're passionate about with others, but the more you share and put yourself out there, the more opportunities you'll have to make your passion a big part of your life.
   
   
3. Work as hard as you can. Just as nothing great was ever accomplished without passion, nothing great was ever accomplished without hard work. If you love something, you have to work at it. You have to do it as often as you can and in as many different ways as you can (without broadening your focus too much). As much as hard work can be daunting sometimes, if you really feel passionate about something, all of the work you put into it will be worth it. For example, it takes a lot of time for me to write my blog posts and respond to comments and emails, etc. A lot of time. This sometimes takes away from other things I could be doing, like hanging out with friends or just laying around with a great book. Sometimes it's hard to put in the work, even when I love doing it. But you know what? At the end of the day, it really is worth it. When I get an email in my in-box from someone telling me that I've changed his or her life, I cannot help but be filled with happiness and pride. Nothing can compare with that feeling and it makes every hour of hard work worth it.
   
   
4. Make it tons of fun. Sometimes when people are passionate about something, they become so focused on it that they lose sight of the fun of it all. It can be easy to forget that something is actually a lot of fun if you find yourself so engrossed in it that you can think of little else. Take a step back from your passion and figure out how you can make it fun. If you become too focused, you may forget what it was that really inspired you in the first place. You love your passion for a reason and whatever it is that you feel passionate about, there has to be a way to make it fun. You have to be a little creative in some cases, but there is always a way to make something you love to do even more enjoyable. One idea would be to figure out a way to include others in your passion. Whatever you love, there are probably others out there that love it too. Find them and start a group or club. Or, even if you don't have people around you who love what you love, find a way to share it with them in a way that they can enjoy.
   
   
5. Be innovative and creative. As you're spending time on what you feel passionate about, remember two things: innovation and creation. You already have the drive and desire to talk about, think about, and work on your passion. Now you need to take it to the next level. You need to be creative and innovative. You need to think about how you can push yourself out of you comfort zone and try new things. You don't need to reinvent the wheel here. You just need to find some way to do things differently -- and that may mean differently for you. For example, I've always been interested in writing. I've done it every day for as long as I can remember. But one day I decided I was going to share it. It wasn't the most mind-blowing discovery and it probably didn't mean all that much to the few early readers of my blog, but to me it was HUGE. It was life-changing. It caused me to break out of my routines and to push myself way out of my comfort zone. It was challenging and it was (and is!) still scary, but it's been worth it. It's made me better at what I love to do and, importantly, it's held me accountable for what I do. I know there are people out there reading and that makes me want to work harder and be more creative than I would be if I were still hiding amid the documents on my computer. You can find ways to break out of your own mold. It doesn't have to be some crazy never-done-before thing. All it needs to be is something that challenges you and helps you become even more passionate about what you love.
   
   
6. Share your ideas with others. Tying in with my example above, you should know that it's really important to share what you love with others. It may be hard to do (plenty of people have quirky things they're passionate about or, like me, have some trust issues that prevent them from really wanting to share their work), but it's one of the best ways you can cultivate your passion. When I first started blogging, I was scared that no one would want to read my blog or, worse, people would read it and hate it. I never imagined I'd have the kind of positive feedback that I get constantly. I never imagined that some of the people who were reading my blog would become some of the most important people in my life. In so many ways, this blog has changed my life and if I hadn't taken a leap of faith and put myself out there, I never would have experienced some of the great things I have over the past year. It still scares me to death sometimes when I think about people reading my posts, but I do it anyway. I push myself to be better than I think I can be, even when I'm scared. And you know what? It feels good. It feels good to break out of my comfort zone and to be rewarded with such inspiring feedback. It feels good to share my thoughts with my readers and to know that somewhere out there people are reading and caring about what I have to say. You may not want to share your passion, but it's a great way to make the most of what you love.
   
   
7. Give yourself a break. Now, as much as I love to write and pretty much want to be doing it all the time, one of the best ways I've found to making the most of my passion is to take a break from it. When I first started blogging, I was online 7 days a week, blogging a new post almost every day. I was super into it and super excited about it and as the number of readers grew, so did the pressure. I felt like I had to post all of the time and I was overwhelmed. And then I realized that I needed a break. I created a new schedule so I was posting only three days a week and instantly I felt more relaxed and more able to really enjoy writing (instead of feeling pressured into it). Keep this in mind as your exploring your passion. As much as it means to you, you don't have to be doing it 24/7. You can take a break. You can take lots of breaks, in fact. And, honestly, it's important that you do so. It can be tempting to work nonstop on something you're into, but one of the best ways to make the most of your passion is to give yourself a breather and take a step back every once and awhile. You'll return refreshed and even more excited about what you love to do.  

In general, passion is something I feel passionate about. I believe everyone should have something that makes them so excited that they can't wait to do it or talk about it or share it with others. A lot of people don't have this -- but that doesn't mean they can't. I really do believe that almost everyone has something he or she is passionate about it. It's just a matter of figuring out what that thing is. One you've figured it out (and you may already know), use the ideas above to help take your passion to the next level. One step at a time, you can travel down the road of passion and bring yourself that much closer to what you love to do.

[Note: Today's post is part of Random Acts of Kick Arse (RAOKA), a group I'm very fortunate to be a part of. The group joins together every month to take part in committing random acts. Each month we have a different theme and for the month of February the theme was "passion." Check out the other members of the group here: Jungle of Life, Jane Be Nimble, Gazehound's Animal Communications, Positive Provocations, and Life, Laughs & Lemmings.]

7 strategies for loving each and every day

 (♥)

  "No yesterdays are ever wasted for those 
who give themselves to today."

Brendan Francis

Do you wake up every morning with a grin on your face, jumping out of bed with a fresh eagerness for the day ahead? Yeah, me neither. As much as I want to be positive 24/7, it's not easy to wake up every morning and say to yourself, "I'm going to LOVE today!" Some days are just downright difficult and no matter how you look at them, the negative seems to out weight the positive. As most of us probably know, sometimes you wake to a day that can be so overwhelming that you're actually scared of it. The other day as I was searching through photos on the amazing We Heart It, I came across the image above and it caused me to pause and think about how I determined I am to love each and every day. I had to ask myself, "Am I really that determined to love each and every day? Or do I settle into that fear sometimes, really letting negativity about the day's events get the best of me?" As much as I want to start every day off with the hope and cheerful notion that it will be a day I love, that's not always the easiest thing to do when faced with some of life's challenges. 

There's no getting around the fact that every single day won't be lovable. Life is challenging and there are simply going to be days that cannot be labeled "great" -- but that doesn't mean we shouldn't give it our best shot to try to love each and every day. I think it's perfectly okay to realize that not every day will be great -- or even good -- but I don't think it's okay not to at least give every day a chance. I'm not sure about you, but I've definitely had some days that seemed like they would be awful and then transformed into some of the best days I've ever had. Life is unpredictable like that and it's hard to know what's going to happen in a single day. As many of you probably know, a single moment can turn your life around and it only takes a second for day to turn from god-awful to glorious (and, yes, it can go the other way too, but let's focus on the positive since this is a blog about positivity). As many of you also probably know, attitude has a lot to do with your day. If you start off with the belief that a day is going to suck, you'll quickly realize that the day actually does suck. However, if you start off with the attitude that your day is going to kick ass... well, you just might find that it does. 

I'm not going to pretend that every day can be fabulous if you just have the right attitude. Sometimes terrible things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes we just don't feel like things are going right and sometimes a bad-mood funk can suck the life out of even the most promising days. We can't make every day perfect, but we can give it the best head-start possible. It's just like that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" idea. What you eat for breakfast won't necessarily determine what you'll eat the rest of the day, but more often than not, if you eat a healthy breakfast you'll eat a healthy lunch and dinner too. That's what we need to think about when we're starting our days. Sure, even if we have a positive attitude at the beginning of the day, we might consume some negativity later on. But it's a lot more likely that we'll keep gobbling up that healthy positivity if we start the day off with the right mindset. 

7 Ways to Start Off (and Love!) Your Day 

1. Be grateful. One of the best ways to start off your day on the right foot is to begin your day by thinking about the things you're grateful for. It's not always easy to do this if you're in a bad mood or you have some difficult activities to look forward to that day, but taking a few moments to be thankful for what is going well in your life is an excellent way to dive into the day with a positive attitude. If you like writing, it might be helpful to keep a little journal beside your bed and jot down the things that you're grateful for when you wake up in the morning. If you're not the writing kind, just thinking about the things that you're thankful for as you're opening your eyes and starting the day is a great way to start things off right. 

2. Be energized. It can be hard to start off the day right if you're not feeling full of energy. When you're tired or dragging, it's going to be difficult to be positive. I know first hand that when I'm not well-rested, I definitely feel like my mood worsens. So, in order to start of the day energized, make sure you get the right amount of rest (not too much or too little, Goldilocks!), eat healthy foods every day, drink lots and lots of water, and exercise (yeah, I need to work on that one...). If you treat your body right, you're more likely to be starting your days off with a lot of energy. Another way to start off your day with energy is to try your best to end your day with positive thoughts and images. When you're getting ready for bed, try to focus on the good things that happened that day and try to watch/read things that are positive. You can do a lot of preparing the day before to wake up energized and refreshed so get started now!                                                                                                                      

3. Be mindful. Being present is one of the best ways to love every day. When you're living in the moment, you're not stressing about the future and you're not dwelling on the past. And one of the best ways to be present is to be mindful. Being mindful can be difficult, especially if you're not super excited about whatever you're engaging in on any particular day, but if you make the extra effort to look around you -- to really, truly pay attention to your life and all that surrounds you -- you'll find that your days seem a lot more exciting. And a lot easier to love. Mindfulness and being very aware of what's happening around you keeps you present and helps to keep unnecessary stress from your mind. Pay attention to everything, even the littlest details, and you'll find that every day is worth loving. 

4. Be realistic. When you start your day, you might be overcome with ideas of what you think the day will -- or should -- entail. So often we place expectations on our days -- good or bad -- and so often these expectations aren't realistic. How often have you thought a day would be the worst ever or anticipated that your day would be absolutely fantastic? It's great to have an idea of what your day is going to be like, but it's not so great to be projecting generalizations on your day. It can be very tempting to think things like, "This day is going to be terrible" or "This is going to be the worst day ever," but it's pretty unlikely that things will go as drastically as you've made out in your head. When you really start to think about something realistically, you'll probably realize that things won't be as bad as you think they will be. Be realistic about what your day will entail and you'll most likely be able to handle whatever comes your way. Realize that most things aren't the end of the world and you'll be much more likely to face your challenges head on.  

5. Be open. Just think about the number of times you've started off a day thinking you knew exactly how it would go only to find out that it unveiled itself in an entirely unpredictable way. Life throws us some pretty crazy curve balls and one of the hardest things to do sometimes is to just let those curve balls come right at us. There are a lot of things in any given day that our out of our control. Sometimes this can be one of the hardest things to deal with in terms of loving your day, and that's why it's important to be open. Be open to the idea that anything can happen and that anything that may happen might actually be good. I know things have happened to me that I didn't understand at the time, but that ended up being really great for me. Be open to new experiences and be open to the idea that any day has the potential to be a great day and you're a lot more likely to enjoy your days a whole lot more. 

6. Be hopeful. Along with being open, you also want to start off every day with a healthy dose of hope. Some days this is so easy. It can be so easy when things are going well to believe that they'll keep going well, but then there are those days when hope seems like something you dreamt about once as a child. There are days when hope seems as likely as a fairy tale. And those are the days you need hope the most. When you wake and think the day is going to be awful, remember to have hope. Any day can transform into the best day -- even when it seems completely beyond the realm of possibility. Life is so very unpredictable and I've never, ever been able to 100% predict what would happen to me on any given day. So when a day seems destined for dismal, take a moment and indulge in a little hope. It might sound silly or cliche, but there's nothing like hope to get your day rolling in the right direction. No matter how much you think you're going to hate your day, wake up and have hope because you never, ever know what the day will bring. 

7. Be determined. As the quote in the image above says, you have to be determined. You have to really want to love every day. If you don't, you won't. It's just that simple. Waking up happily and cheerfully every single morning might sound like a bit much to ask for, but you can wake up believing that your day will hold something magical and unexpected. You always have the opportunity to choice a positive outlook (even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do), but when it comes to loving each day, you have to be determined. You have to really want it and you have to make an effort. This is a very hard thing to do and I can't say that I've mastered it yet, but I want to. I want to love every day as if it's my last day and even though I'm not at that point yet, I have hope that I someday can be that person. Determination is key when it comes to numbers 1-6. Without determination, it's going to very hard to do any of the things above when you're facing a really hard day, but if you're determined you have the power to do anything -- including love every day you're alive. 

Following these seven strategies won't always be easy. In fact, if you're anything like me, most days it'll be harder than it would seem. But if you try them and you are determined to love your days, I know you (and I!) can do it. Life's too short not to love every day you're alive, but I think we often forget to love our days. Too often we forget that this life isn't a given and that even when we're in a slump or a funk or a place of pain, we're all pretty lucky to be here. Every day you must wake and you must go on with your life so why not make an effort to love it? 

stop, drop, & roll: how to prepare for change

  

(♥)
 

“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t.
It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.”
James Gordon

Change is a funny thing. Sometimes we want it so badly and we'd do anything for it. Sometimes we're so scared of it that we'd give anything to stop it from happening. Change has played a big part in my life over the past year. I cannot think of a year when I've changed more than 2009. While I'm still working at the same place and living in the same area, almost everything in my life has changed dramatically over the past 12 months. My relationships with others, my relationship with myself, my understanding of the world, my actions and reactions, my thoughts and way of thinking -- all of these things have undergone major transformations this year. I often look around at where I am now and ask myself, "Why? Why now? What was so different about this year that made it so special?" Much as I scratch my head and ponder these questions, the only real answer that seems to stick with me is: I was ready. 

It took a long time -- a lot of years of doing things to make myself stronger and, in some ways, harder -- to get to the point where I was ready for change. I don't think I even knew I was ready. I just looked around one day and it hit me like a bat to the head: I had to change things. I had to change things. I had that cliched experience of looking around and realizing that this was my life and I didn't like it one bit. I'd thought this many times before. I'd always wanted a different life. I'd always thought that "someday" things would be different. It wasn't until about a year ago that I realized that I had to make things different. I had to change them. It seems simple enough, realizing I had control over my life, but it wasn't simple to get to that point in my life. As the Indigo Girls sing in "Least Complicated" (click to listen): "The hardest to learn was the least complicated." It was such a simple notion -- take control of your own life -- but it was such a complex one for me to grasp. 

I don't think I'm alone in this. I think it takes a lot of people -- a lot -- to realize that they can control their own lives. I think many people never realize it at all and end up floating along on whatever path they happen to find themselves drifting down. I was that person. I was that drifter, just floating and thinking I'd get there someday. I had hope that things would work out, but I didn't want to work for it. I just thought it would happen. Well, I can tell you from personal experience...things don't "just happen." Yes, sometimes there are those moments of excitement when things seem like they're falling in place. Yes, there are times when things seem like fate or coincidence. But the best things -- the really great things -- happen when you're working towards them, when you're making the changes and when you're putting in the effort to make yourself better. 

But how did I do it? And how can you? I don't know if I have any true and definite answers to those questions. I wish I could post a step-by-step plan for how I changed, but I know that these things are really personalized and, if you want to change, the way to do it really depends on how you are as a person and what exactly it is that you want to change. Even though there isn't a formula for change, I can offer some suggestions and some advice on how I got from where I was to where I am now... 

Stop, Drop, and Roll: How To Ready Yourself For Change 
 

1. Stop being afraid. It's so easy to be scared. Believe me, I know how much courage it takes to willingly choose to change. It really can be terrifying, the thought of changing your life, of changing yourself. I honestly think it was that fear that held me back for so long. I knew I needed change. I could sense something that needed to be different in my life, but I was so afraid. If you really want to change, you have to stop being afraid. You have to take whatever fear you're experiencing and just let it go. As you can probably guess, this is not easy -- but it is the only way to really prepare yourself to change. 
   
   
2. Drop your old ways. Sounds so obvious, right? If you don't like how your life is, just stop doing what you're doing, right? If you've ever tried to stop your habits or break your routines, you know just how difficult this can be. In theory it sounds so great, but it can be really, really hard to change things and to make choices that are different from those you'd made in the past. It was nearly impossible for me to alter some of my habits when I decided that I needed to change and it certainly didn't happen over night. It took a long time -- probably years if you count all of those failed attempts from the past -- to get where I am right now, but I know with absolute certainty that I would not be here if I hadn't changed my old ways. 
   
   
3. Roll with the punches. As I mentioned in #1, change can be really scary. Most people don't like it all that much, especially when it's hard. For this reason, you have to to learn to let go of your preconceived notions of what "should" be and live in the moment. Rolling with the punches isn't always easy (and was especially difficult for a Type A girl like myself), but it's the only way to really accept change in your life. If you're having trouble with this, I'd suggest reading The Power of Now or Loving What It Is. Both of those books really helped me out when I was trying to adjust to living in the moment and accepting my new life for what it was, changes and all. That whole go-with-the-flow thing didn't come easily to me (still doesn't sometimes!), but it's definitely an essential attitude to have when it comes to changing. 

As we all know, change can be so brutal sometimes. It's hard to face it when it's forced upon us, but it can be even more difficult when we're trying to implement it ourselves. At that point, change becomes a choice and, for that reason, it's something we can so easily avoid or give up on. Changing yourself is really hard work and these three steps are only the beginning. They are only small bits of advice to help you ready yourself for change. Around this time of year, people are thinking a lot about change, about making resolutions and changes. Recognize that change is hard, but you really do have the ability to change anything in your life. What it really comes down to, or at least what it came down to for me about a year ago, was being ready. If you're not ready for it, you won't change. But if you are ready...well, you have the amazing ability to turn your whole life upside down... 

How do you ready yourself for change? 
What advice do you have for those who want to make changes? 

how to let go and reclaim your life

 (♥)

Today's post was written by Henri Junttila, creator of the awesome site Wake Up Cloud. I recently came across Henri's site when he left a comment on mine and I've been such a fan ever since. On Henri's site you can discover your passion in 5 days and get conscious about your life. I was thrilled that he wanted to write a guest post for Positively Present and I certainly wasn't let down when he emailed me his article. Henri's take on letting go is well-written and worth a read (or two!). Enjoy! 

Letting go is easier said than done, or is it? It’s nothing new that we like to complicate things and I am no different. Making changes in your life only happens when you are truly ready. Your mind is meant to think thoughts and it can easily become overwhelming and frustrating, especially when you start to taking them seriously.

Letting go for me means allowing things to be as they are and accepting the present moment just as it is. For the longest time I wanted to control and was horrified of letting go. I am not saying that I do not do this now, because I do, but to a lesser extent. It can be hard to let go and be at peace when tough things come at you.

At those times all you can do is your best. One of the topics that gets me off-balance is money. I have a deeply rooted belief about money and being afraid of not having enough and not being able to take care of myself or the people around me. By being aware of my thoughts and just doing my best, I know that I am constantly making progress.

We live in a society where quick results are expected. To be honest, I am very impatient and get frustrated easily when things are not going my way. We all have our pet peeves and they are there for a reason. In year or three you will see how much you’ve grown. There is no rush to get anywhere and there is no competition. Enjoy the ride and have fun.

Let Go of the Past

“Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy.”
 Robert Anthony

Some people constantly think of the future, while others dwell on the past. The past is tricky, because your mind can distort and make you believe things that did not really happen, or you make the events that did happen worse. A good example is when you experience someone passing away that was very close to you.

The first reaction is to dwell on how much you will miss this person, but have you ever thought about changing your perspective? When I cannot just let go I will try different things to see if I am missing a piece of the puzzle. So instead of dwelling on what you have lost, you could think about the positive things and the moments you had that brought joy.

When you dwell on the past, you suffer now. Why are you doing that to yourself? Feeling bad, depressed and being negative is pleasurable in some way, which is one of the reasons we do it. We think it will bring us something. Being less serious about life will allow you to let go. Playfulness is something a lot of people are re-discovering, which is awesome. We have been way too serious up until now ;).

Let Go of the Future

 “The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
 Chuck Palahniuk

Worrying about the future is my specialty. I project what will happen in the future and my mind convinces me that it is true. I won’t have enough money. No one will love me. I won’t succeed. Just a few years ago I was extremely negative, stressed and worried constantly about the future.

That was also the time I started meditating on a daily basis and reading books on spirituality, such as the Power of Now, which is still one of my favorites. When you really want to change, the tools will be given to you. It’s interesting how the universe works. We still have a lot to learn and can only marvel.

So what helps me let go of the future? The ability to question myself and realize that my thoughts are not the authority on the future. If you’re like me and tend to think about the future and not having enough, look inside and ask yourself how you can predict the future? Are you suddenly a psychic? ;)

Playfulness is your secret weapon. So what if you end up broke and without friends? The cool thing about imagining the future is that it is most likely the worst it’s going to get. Have you ever imagined something bad and had it happen to you, and you went “huh, that wasn’t so bad after all”?

Let Go of the Fear of Rejection

 “Nothing is miserable unless you think it so;
 on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you are content with it.”
 Boethius

The fear of not being liked, of not being accepted or even respected is another big one for me. I’ve always been an introvert and always conscious of what I should and should not say. As I gathered more experiences under my belt, I started to learn that being yourself is the only thing that you can do.

Being someone who you are not takes a lot of energy and ultimately destroys you on the inside. Remember, when you’re trying to be someone you’re not, you’re attracting people that resonate with the person you are trying to be. In simpler terms: you are attracting people that do not match who you REALLY are.

I haven’t gone from an introvert to an extrovert yet, because it is always better to take things one step at a time. I have become more self-confident in who I am and letting myself be just a little bit ridiculous, because that’s who I really am. That’s who we all are. When I talk to people that have never met me they usually get that surprised look on their face thinking “this guy is crazy” but then they usually also go “but I like him”.

By being yourself, you are attracting those that you want to attract. If you’re looking for a soul-mate, you have to be yourself, because you are never going to meet the love of your life if you cannot love yourself.

If you are yourself and people reject you, you should be happy, because those people were not a good match for you anyway. See it as a filter. Be yourself, be playful and let go.

Let Go of Your Programming

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
 Eleanor Roosevelt

When I got out of school at the ripe age of 18, I became a professional online poker player. It was a fun ride that taught me a lot about discipline, money, people and spirituality. There are a lot of things you have to let go of when you choose to make money in an unconventional way.

At an early age we start taking in the labels and beliefs of our parents, our friends and our culture. We are supposed to go out there, go to school, get a good job, a nice house, a nice car, get a kid or two, retire and do what we really want to do.

Why should you wait? If you’re unhappy now, then that is a sign that you’re not following your passion and doing what you truly love. I played poker for almost five years. Earlier this year I decided enough was enough. I had been sick of playing for the last few years and I was only doing it because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to make a living doing anything else.

I jumped into building websites about topics I was passionate about. Even that wasn’t enough. Last month I started feeling like something was missing. This was not something I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life. Making money was great, but ultimately I wanted to help people grow.

If you’re waiting for something to happen, stop. There are no perfect circumstances. You will never be ready. I am not saying you have to do everything all at once. If you’re working in a job you hate and you love coffee, you can work during the day and start writing, video blogging or even podcasting about coffee on your free time.

You are the one who are responsible for how you react, how you feel, what you do and how your life looks. It’s easy to hide from that fact, which is exactly what most people do, but you are different. I can feel it.

It’s time.

Let go and reclaim your life.

You deserve it.

Looking for more reading material today (a.k.a., distractions from doing work or anything productive)? Check out the guest post I did on The Bold Life called "Traveling by Train: Lessons on Going with Life's Flow." In the article, you'll find out how I learned a lot about life just by walking down the aisle of a train! You never know where you'll find inspiration!
 

are your goals fun?

 (♥)
 

Today we have an awesome guest post from life coach Jen, who is the author of the oh-so-wonderful personal development blog, Reach Your Dreams. I'm happy to have Jen here as a guest writer today and I'm sure you'll really enjoy her fun-filled post. 


How often have you created a goal for yourself, and then made it into something that you resent and feel guilty about not doing? We all do this at times. Start off with a fun goal and make it into something else to do, to beat ourselves up with and manage to squeeze all the fun out of it, until eventually it is just another chore! Why do we do that? I don’t have the answer, but I do know I have often done this.  A common victim of mine is exercise (although I think exercise has got a bad name from a lot of people, not just me!J) I actually really enjoy exercise, when I do it (particularly running), but have often made this into a ball and chain around my neck. It’s crazy really. Why don’t we either do whatever it is and enjoy it, or not do it and enjoy not doing it, rather than this mental torture and guilt we put ourselves through! I guarantee you, if you sat down with any group of people, and asked them about exercise, there would definitely be some of what I am talking about in there! 

 

Be honest

One of the things I have learnt is to be honest with myself about my goals. I used to make goals that I really had no intention of doing…but they sounded good! Or, maybe make some goals that I did have some intention of doing, but really enjoyed spending more time talking about them and doing an elaborate plan! (Hands up who’s done this too!) . The other common scenario, I have found is going from one extreme to another….no exercise …. to a plan to run 10 miles!

We are all different

We all have different ways of getting motivated or achieving our goals. I know I am very enthusiastic at the beginning of a new project, but often find I get bored, or want a new stimulus as I get into it. I have found for example with running, entering a race helps me keep focused and carry on towards achieving the goal, even at the times when I don’t feel like it. Some people find a bit of healthy competition with a friend or collaboration helps achieve their goals, whereas others need to let people know what they are doing, to have someone to be accountable too. Find out how you work best.

Start off small

I’m not saying not to make your goals big, because there is value in that too, but for example if you haven’t exercised for a year, just doing something, is a great start. Getting started and doing a few small actions, is better than huge plans that scare you off before you have even begun!

And finally….have fun!

Life’s too short to be doing things we don’t want to do. If you’re not enjoying a goal you have set yourself, find out, why not? Have you squeezed all the joy out of it? Have a look… if you find you have, stop and re-evaluate why you wanted to do it in the first place. Don’t make the fun things in your life, into more chores. If it’s still not fun, bin it! Take it off the list and replace it with something that is fun! 

How do YOU keep your goals fun?

Jen is the author of reachourdreams.com and a Life Coach who blogs all about personal development. If you enjoyed this post, then please consider subscribing to her RSS feed. You can also find Jen on Twitter @reachingdreams.

living life with purpose

 

 

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful,
to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. 
It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something,
to have made some difference that you lived at all."

Leo Rosten

For most people interested in personal development, the question of life's purpose is often on their minds. There are so many answers, but that one question always remains. When I opened my email this morning and read this quote, I found that I could really relate to Rosten's words. He's really on to something with this statement. Though I think we all have different purposes for our lives, I do think that Rosten addresses some of the basic elements of life's purpose that connect us all. While I cannot speak for everyone, I do know that many people would agree with Rosten's statement and believe that they are living for all of these reasons (and more!). After reading Rosten's quote for the third or fourth time, I began to break it down in my mind, to see all of the various parts he'd put together to make his statement whole. When I took a step back from the quote and looked at divided, I realized that Rosten really did bring some important things to light in terms of what most of us want from life. Here, let's take a look...

We want to be useful. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but I know a lot of people want to be useful. When thinking about life's purpose, they want their lives to be something that will have a good effect on the rest of the world -- or at least on those living in their little corner of the world. Some people seem more into this idea in relation to life's purpose than others (such as those who dedicate their lives to teaching or caring for others), but I think, deep down, we all want to know that our lives have a practical usefulness to them. It's hard to say what usefulness is because it is such a broad term, but I think that we're all useful. We're useful in our jobs, in our actions, in our relationships. We all serve different purposes, but all of them are of use and that's what makes them so important to consider when thinking about the purpose of life.

We want to be responsible. This is a very interesting one for me because for so long I felt like I didn't want to be responsible for my life. I wanted people to do things for me; I wanted things to happen to me. The older I get and the more I know, the more I want to take control of my life and be responsible for it. Not only do I want to be accountable for my actions, but I also want to be accountable for the repercussions of my actions. I want to know that what I'm doing is the right thing, that I'm not acting out of selfishness or haste. When I think about how much responsibility we all have (whether we want to admit it or not!), I realize that this is really one of the purposes of life. I am -- we all are -- meant to be responsible for our lives and even though it's hard for some to get to a place of responsibility, I do think that autonomy and accountability is something we all inevitably seek.

We want to be honorable. When I read this one, I wasn't sure how I felt. Do people really want to be honorable? Of course, it's clear that some do, but there are so many people that act in dishonorable ways that it was hard for me to believe that a purpose of life was to be honorable. But then I thought about it this way... We all really do want be respected and given credit for the things we do. For everyone, these things may be different. Honor might come in the form of negative things for some people and positive things for others, but I think that desire to be honored (even on a small level) is something most people crave. We want to be thought of as worthy of respect (and, in some cases, this can be a negative kind of respect) and we want to know that what we are doing has worth.

We want to be compassionate. This one also struck me as interesting. Do we want to be compassionate or do we want to have compassion in our lives? I, for one, know that I definitely want compassion in my life. I want people to care about me and to feel things for me when I am feeling, but to say that my own purpose in life is to be compassionate seemed off at first. And then I realized that, in fact, I really do want to live a life of compassion because it is one of the best ways to connect with others. At a very basic level, humans want to connect with each other (even when we don't think we do!), and being compassionate is one of the best ways to do this. I don't know about you, but when I am able to connect with someone else in a compassionate way, it feels great. It makes sense, since the need to understand one another is so basic, that it would be part of the purpose of life.

We want to matter. To me, this is one of the most important of all the things Rosten brought up. While I can't speak for everyone, I'm pretty sure most people want to matter. Some people want to matter in a big, grand way. Some people want to matter only in the lives of those who are closest to them. But either way most of us really seem to want that -- to know that our lives count, that we're here for a reason, that we have purpose. And we don't want to matter just to ourselves. We want to matter to others (again, back to the theme of connecting with other people) and some of us want to matter to the world. No matter what (or who) we want to matter to, most of us really do want that recognition, or at least the knowledge, that our lives count in a way that is meaningful.

We want to stand for something. When I was in college, some of the guys I used to hang out with would call me "Beliefs" because I was always going off about some topic I felt passionate about (feminism, animal rights, etc...). They would get a kick out of me sharing my beliefs all the time, and I got a kick out of them calling me "Beliefs." Why? Because this confirmed for me that I stood for something, that I cared about things enough to bring them up and share my thoughts on them. (It also helped to confirm that I had something substantive to offer other than appearance, which I really loved...) I loved (still do!) love believing in things, standing for things, and for that reason I believe that this is something that really does add to my purpose in life.

We want to make a difference. Another tricky one... Does everyone want to make a difference? I know I do. In fact, I probably want that more than anything. When I get emails from people telling me that I've made a difference in their lives, I feel happier than I could even imagine. It's the best feeling. But that's just me. I don't know if everyone wants to make a difference in the world. I know that most of the people I surround myself with make a difference in the world without even knowing it because they make my world a better place. Even people I hardly know make a difference when they leave a comment on my blog or send me an email. Whether or not we want to make a difference, I think our mere presences here impact the world and, like it or not, create the foundation for life's purpose.

I must admit that sometimes I don't like to think about the purpose of life. Sometimes that phrase is just too overwhelming. It puts the pressure on, making me wonder, "What am I doing? Am I really living the life I'm supposed to be living??" Reading Rosten's quote sort of forced me to think about it and I'm glad it did. The purpose of life is a very unique thing. I believe everyone has a different purpose, some of which overlap and some of which don't. Sometimes it's hard to understand the purpose of others, but there is a purpose for everyone and everything. Writing this post has really made me think about what I consider my personal purpose to be. The purpose of one's life is likely to change. If someone had asked me what the purpose of my life was ten years ago, my answer would be quite different I'm sure. Today I'm going to write down the things I want to be, the things that add up to my life's purpose. Someday I will come back to this post and look at these things and I will see how well I've done with them or maybe realize how much they have changed. Here are some of the things I think I'm here for...

To write words that make others think and feel.

To create things that challenge me and/or make me smile.

To accept people and situations for what they are.

To experience life and share my thoughts with others.

To love people and animals with my whole heart.

To be at peace with myself and those around me.

To make others happy through my own quest for joy.

To smile and laugh as often as I possibly can.

To work hard at what I love to do to reach my goals.

To cultivate and sustain meaningful relationships.

To push myself out of my (many!) comfort zones.

To challenge myself and others to embrace positivity.

To live in the moment (even when it's a tough one).

To look for and celebrate the good things in life.

I'm sure if I sat here all day, I could have a list a mile long. Now that I've started thinking about what my purpose is in life, it's actually quite fascinating to me (and a lot less overwhelming!). Putting it in writing makes me realize that life's purpose can be a tangible thing. It doesn't have to be some abstract concept that you can't quite put your finger on it. It can be a list. It can be a whole long string of words with all of the things you want in your life filling in the blanks. It can be anything you want it to be. I know it seems like a  grand task -- writing down the purpose of your life -- but as someone who was overwhelmed to even think about it and who went on to create this extended (albeit not comprehensive) list, I'd strongly recommend you give it a go. And, if you're feeling extra brave, feel free to post your list in the comments section! I know, I know -- it seems daunting to think about your life's purpose on a random Tuesday, but when I started writing this post I had no idea it was going to lead to me thinking about my own purpose and I'm so glad it did. Give it some thought... You might be surprised by what you'll find...

What did you think of Rosten's ideas of what life's purpose is?
Have you given some thought now to your own purpose? What IS your purpose?

 

working hard, playing hard

 (♥)

 

[The following post was written by the very insightful Diggy, creator of Upgrade Reality, one of my favorite sites to visit for great information on self improvement. If you have a chance, definitely check out Diggy's site. There's a lot to gain from his words of wisdom! And if you enjoy this post, please support Diggy by subscribing to his RSS feed. Thank you, Diggy, for taking the time to give us all a bit of advice today on how to work hard and play hard.]

 

This is for those times when you start something with incredible enthusiasm, work hard at it, but only get it done for 80% or 50% or 30% and then get distracted or start something else, thinking you will complete the project you started sometime soon. I can't tell you how many times I've done this. I've bought so many domains and started so many sites and ideas and projects, only to not see them through and start a new one when the previous one was only half way done. I've read so many books 3/4 of the way through and then put them down thinking I will finish them soon and I never have. I have learnt my lessons from this though, and I want to share those lessons with you today. 

 

Lessons for Working Hard, Playing Hard


Don't work on more than 3 projects at a time.

Preferably two projects, but depending on the projects you can do up to three efficiently. There is also a difference if the project has been established and requires minimal maintenance to run efficiently versus a new project that needs all your hands on attention to build it up and promote it. For example, what I do now is I have:

1. A blog, Upgrade Reality, which I write two posts a week for but I am putting a lot of time in promoting it, writing guest posts and connecting with bloggers and readers to build relationships.
   
   
2. A new site which I'm starting with a friend that seems like a lot of fun and has a lot of potential.
   
   
3. A program I'm having developed with a friend that we are going to promote and hopefully make popular.

This is all, and my hands are full if I want to do this properly and focus on getting something done. All other projects I have either turned into minimal maintenance or abandoned and put up for sale. I highly recommend choosing one or two projects that you are passionate about and see potential in, and work on those two only.

Drop everything else that is taking from your focus and creativity and do not start anything new unless you can clearly see it has much more potential than your current project and then you will have to replace your current project with the higher potential one. Work on those two projects with your full attention until they are either requiring minimal maintenance to bring in good money, or until they are big enough that you can sell them and move on to the next project.

 

Work first; money and play come later.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. To be successful it requires hard work, effort, dedication and a little luck always helps. You cannot expect something to grow massive or make millions if you do not spend hours, days and weeks if not years working hard at it. That is not to say it cannot happen, because there are always exceptions, but don't count on it. What makes the hard work worth it? Well...the reward at the end does.

A small period of hard work and focused effort can often lead to a multiple of that period in freedom, being both time and money. You can do something half, and have fun while doing it, go out partying and play around, and maybe build up something mediocre over time, but chances are that it will never get really big. Then on the other hand, you have the choice to work hard first, of course allowing yourself a little playtime and relaxation time, but very limited, for the sole purpose of building something up to a level where the reward will be great and allow you to do whatever you like for a long period of time. (For example building up a website that will bring in a few thousand dollars a month pretty passively and thus allow you to travel the world and follow your passions.)

 

Just do it.

This is the best mind-set to adopt when you are going to work hard first and play later. Don't think about it too much, there is no easy way, and no way around it. Just do it. Plug in your iPod with your favourite songs and sit down and work on your project. Wake up earlier and sleep later, work on weekends, go the extra mile and do the things others are not willing to do. Yes it is a sacrifice, and can be unpleasant at times, but it is also fun to work hard, to build something up, to get ahead of others, and to reap the rewards from your hard work at the end.

Don't give up.

While working hard, often it will initially seem like you are putting in way more than you are getting out, and this is indeed the case. This is the crucial period that you need to get through. Many people give up just before they make it through and before they can reap the rewards from their hard work. This is the momentum building stage and is often the first 6-12 months. You will see results, do not give up, keep working hard!

To sum it up... Resist the temptation to start a new project when you are already working on more than one. Limit your projects to three and, if possible, two. Work first, play later. How do you do this? Just do it. Sit down and work. No excuses. The sooner you start, the sooner you finish. Do not give up and keep working hard even if there are little results for your effort! After work comes play, and the benefits of your hard work should be well worth it with the time and resources you will have to play just as hard as you worked.

celebrating awesome bosses

 (♥)

"A good boss makes others realize
they have more ability than they think they have
so that they can consistently do better work
than they thought they could."

Charles Erwin Wilson

Happy Boss's Day! Okay, I know this is probably a ridiculous made-up, Hallmark holiday, but I think it's an important one. Why? Because I think it's important to celebrate those who might not get all of the credit they deserve. I'm sure some of you have terrible bosses, bosses you'd rather not celebrate, but I'm one of the lucky few to have a really great boss. So, even though he won't be reading this today, I'm going to spend a little time talking about how lucky I am to have him as a boss. In addition, I'm not going to ignore all of you out there who have less-than-stellar bosses. After I rave about my own good fortune for a bit, we can take a look at how we can all be our own awesome bosses -- regardless of what or who our real life bosses are.

When I started working at a "real" job (my first one!) right after graduate school, I had no idea what to expect. I was pretty sure it would be different from interning at a local radio station or folding clothes at Anthropologie, but I had no idea what I was really getting myself into. Working? Every single day? Me? It all seemed a little overwhelming, but I was thrilled when, after weeks of sending in resumes and researching companies, I finally got that call saying a company wanted to hire me. I didn't really care that it wasn't my dream job because I thought of it as temporary, something to do until that "real" career kicked in. Having been a notorious job-quitter in the past, I was pretty sure I wouldn't stick around too long. I was just happy to know that I'd have a paycheck every other week and a neat little stack of business cards.

It was at that very first interview that I met my first boss, who has turned out to be a great boss. But I didn't always think that. The very first day on the job, he yelled at me for making a mistake. I was in shock. Raised in a very "yes" environment (and rarely yelled at unless I'd done something really wrong), I couldn't believe someone was angry at me for something so completely ridiculous. I wanted to yell back. I wanted to grab my purse and say, "Who do you think you are?! I'm outta here!" Instead, I swallowed my anger and waited until the end of the day to cry, moaning to my father that I absolutely had to quit. He suggested I stick it out, at least for the week.

Stick it out I did and now here I am, two and a half years later, looking back on that memory and laughing. Since that very first day, my boss and I have developed a great relationship (and there's definitely no more yelling!). One of the reasons I believe this has been possible is because, like any great boss, my boss really wants me, as a person, to do well. Of course he wants me to work hard at my company and do the best job I can, but he also wants me to succeed in life. Because I get the feeling that my boss genuinely cares about me, I feel that he's been one of the most positive influences in my life over the past few years. He's helped me to learn more about myself, my abilities, and my strengths and weaknesses. He's helped me to become better at what I do and to generally become a better person. Here's what I think makes him such a great boss...

 

Reasons My Boss Is Awesome

• He supports me. My boss has my back. When I make decisions, he supports them. When I bring ideas to the table (and they're not completely ridiculous), he backs me up. This is one of the best things you can do if you're someone else's boss. Working should be a team effort and you should always feel like your boss is on your team. If you feel as if it's you vs. him/her, you're going to be in for a rough working relationship. I'm fortunate enough to have a boss who supports the actions I take and is willing to let me try new things because he believes I can accomplish them.

• He challenges me. While it's great to have support from a boss, it's also so important that your boss challenges you. If I weren't asked to move out of my comfort zone from time to time, I probably wouldn't offer to do so. My boss suggests I do things that aren't necessarily the things I want to do, but doing these things helps me to grow both as a employee and as a person. Part of the joy of being challenged too is realizing that someone else thinks you can do something that you can't. (See the quote above.) My boss really believes I'm capable to do a lot more than I usually give myself credit for and without some of the challenges he's given me, I wouldn't have had a lot the opportunities to grow that I've had.

• He encourages me. When I want to try something new, my boss pretty much always thinks its a good idea. He's open to letting me try new things and he's always encouraging me to think about things differently and not limit myself by looking around at what's already in place at our company. While some bosses might sit back and think that the old way of doing things is just fine, my boss encourages me to look for new ways of doing things. In addition, he encourages me to keep working even when tasks aren't going according to plan. He's also quick to offer words of encouragement when I'm faced with unpleasant situations. It's very important to have a boss who encourages you because sometimes work is just plain hard.

• He trusts me. This one is key. If you don't have a boss that trusts you, if you have a boss who is always looking over your shoulder to see if you're doing things properly, it's going to be pretty hard to feel like you have a good relationship with your boss. One of the best things about my boss is that he trusts me. He doesn't micromanage or assume that doing things his way is always the best way. He's open to suggestions and, most importantly, he values my input. Just recently I even heard him tell someone that he'd let me decide things because he trusts my judgment. It's pretty hard to have any sort of functioning relationship without trust and I know firsthand that it's a very important aspect when it comes to having a productive relationship with your boss.

Now, I know I'm probably one of the lucky ones. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive, encouraging boss. But that's okay. You know why? Because you can be your own boss! Okay, maybe not literally, but in the figurative sense you can definitely take control over your life and treat yourself the way a great boss would. How can you do this? All you need to do is pretty much follow my suggestions below...

 

How To Be Your Own Awesome Boss

• Support yourself. It's awesome if you, like me, have people in your life who support you. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world to know that someone is behind you, backing you up, when it comes to your work. But if that's not the case for you, don't worry. You can become your own biggest fan. The trick to this is believing in yourself. Remind yourself often that you are successful, that you do do a great job at work, and that you are deserving of any and all praise you receive at the office. It's not always easy to do this, but if you can't support yourself, it's going to be pretty hard for others to support you and, if you happen to be a boss, for you to support others.

• Challenge yourself. Every day you're presented with new opportunities to challenge yourself. You have countless opportunities to think about things differently, to try doing things a new way, or to explore new aspects of your job. Challenging yourself is not easy; it's so much better when someone else challenges you because then you have someone else to be accountable to. However, it's very possible that you can create new challenges for yourself every day. You always have the possibility of thinking of new, improved ways of doing things at your office. You always have the option of finding new ways to apply your talents in your workplace. Push yourself out of your comfort zone as often as you can and you'll be amazed by what you learn.

• Encourage yourself. This goes hand-in-hand with supporting yourself, and it's such an important thing to do. It might sound cheesy to encourage yourself or give yourself a big pat on the back every day, but it really can make a difference in your life. It's human nature to want others to encourage us, but it definitely doesn't hurt you to encourage yourself often. In fact, it will make you feel great about yourself and, as a result, you'll have a better outlook (and probably better outcomes) at work. In addition, encourage yourself makes you likely to encourage others too, which makes both you and that other person feel great. So, go on, give yourself a high five just for being awesome!

• Trust yourself. Trusting yourself sounds like it would be easy. After all, we all trust ourselves, right? Wrong. Many people don't believe in themselves and don't have faith that they can complete tasks that they're very capable of doing. Many people second guess themselves and hesitate to take action because they're not sure if they can accomplish what they set out to do. Trusting yourself is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. You might not want to admit it, but you're a lot more capable, a lot stronger, and a lot more prepared than you probably think you are. Look at the quote above and see how you can make that work for you. Believe in yourself and trust that you can do it (whatever "it" is)!

Not everyone has a standard Monday to Friday job, but those that do know just how much a good (or bad) boss can impact that workweek. If you have a boss and have a great relationship with him or her, that's awesome and I'm so glad you have that. If you don't have a good relationship with your boss, it may be time for you think about how you can create one because it's something that can really impact your life. If you have to interact with this person a great deal and depend on him or her in various ways (like, say, to write your yearly review...), you probably want to make the most of the time you spend with this person. I know that, in many cases, that's easier said than done, but today would be a good day to ask yourself...

Am I truly working on having a good relationship with my boss or my employees?
If yes, how am I working on doing that? How can I do that even better?
If no, why not? What can I do to change my attitude to make my relationships more positive?