How to Make Your Life Uncommonly Good

 
Good Life
 
 
We all want to live good lives, but what does a "good life" actually mean?
 
It's a hard concept to nail down, since we all have different values and goals. What one person might consider a great existence -- a high-powered job living in bustling city, or a cozy life spent raising a handful of children, or a solitary existence spent writing in the mountains -- others might think of as very unpleasant. What "good" means is relative, especially when it comes to creating a well-lived life. 
 
Still, I believe there are certain things we all need to have a good life. I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently, and I happened to stumble upon a Forbes piece featuring ten golden rules for living a good life from the book The Ten Golden Rules: Ancient Wisdom from the Greek Philosophers on How to Life a Good Life.
 
These ten golden rules really resonated with me so I thought I'd share my versions, along with my thoughts on them, here. For the most part, these are the same as the ones referenced in the article above, only I've tweaked them a bit and the thoughts below are my own. 
 
 
 
RULE 1: 
EXAMINE + ENGAGE IN LIFE
 
The first rule of living a good life is knowing how important it is to explore the world and be curious about your environment. We instinctively do this as children, but it should be a lifelong practice. You can't live if a good life if you're not really living. To me, this means both examining and engaging in life outside yourself (by playing games, making art, trying new foods, etc.), and also examining and engaging in your inner world too. 
 
 
RULE 2: 
(TRY TO) WORRY LESS
 
Worry is, unfortunately, a part of life, but how much you worry -- and what you worry about -- can impact how good your life is. It's important to try your best to worry only about the things you can control. Learning how to quickly identify what you can control vs. what's out of your hands is one of the best ways to minimize worries. Someone living a good life knows she can't control everything; she can control her reactions to everything. 
 
 
RULE 3: 
CHERISH FRIENDSHIPS
 
As humans, we crave connection and affection. Whether you're the type of person that has countless friends or you prefer a few close pals, friendship -- and the connections and life lessons that come along with those relationships -- are invaluable. No amount of wealth, power, success, fame or any other measure of success can beat the positive benefits of a good friendship. Someone living a good life knows to treasure and care for his friendships
 
 
RULE 4: 
FOCUS ON TRUE JOY
 
In life there are plenty of things that make us feel good, but not all of those things should be the focus. Living a good life means avoiding shallow, meaningless, or fleeting pleasures and instead focusing on meaningful, deep joys that have lasting effects. For instance, consider the feeling of eating a giant slice of cake vs. the feeling of having an inspiring conversation. Both feel good in the moment, but the long-term impacts are very different.
 
 
RULE 5:
KNOW WHO YOU ARE
 
Personally, I think this should be number 1! To live a good life, it's essential to know yourself, to be self-reliant, to cultivate self-love. Equally as important is focusing on what's true, not what's convenient. Self-deception is all too common for many of us, but it does us no good to convince ourselves of things that are untrue. If you struggle this this rule, here are some good resources to check out: My Life Story So FarLetters to My Future Self, Finding Your Self, Loving Your Self.
 
 
RULE 6:
FIND BALANCE + HARMONY
 
As you might already know, too much of anything (even the good stuff!) can be a bad thing, which is why, to live a good life, it's important to avoid excess. In all areas of life -- home, relationships, love, work, etc. -- it's a good idea to strive for balance. Overindulging in the good stuff can lead to what I think of as a "happiness hangover," but depriving yourself of fun (and a little bit of bad behavior!) it's great either. Find what balance means for you and strive for that. 
 
 
RULE 7: 
ADHERE TO POSITIVE VALUES
 
This rule really comes down to one basic concept: be a decent human being. When you've done wrong, accept responsibility. Whenever possible, be honest with yourself and with others. It's vital to be accountable for your choices and actions. What you value is up to you, but figuring out those values and sticking to them throughout your life is one of the best ways to ensure you're living a good life. (Also: be open-minded and, if need be, change your values as you grow and learn.)
 
 
RULE 8: 
PROSPER WITH CAUTION
 
With any luck, you'll have an wonderful opportunity to prosper in this life, to flourish financially and achieve great success. If this happens (and I hope it does!), be cautious and thoughtful in your choices. I imagine it's difficult not to get carried away, but one of the keys to living a good life is being rational with your resources (whatever those might be!). Many prosperous people become foolish and delusional. Personally, I think this is a great place to focus on gratitude over gains. 
 
 
RULE 9: 
DO HARM TO NO ONE
 
This might sound like an obvious rule for a good life, but it's an important one. To live well, strive to harm no one -- including yourself. Hurting others hurts you too (even if, for whatever reason, you feel as if they deserve to be hurt). Speak with kindness, focus on forgiveness, have compassion, embrace empathy, and, above all, try to cultivate as much love as you can for your fellow humans. (I also recommend extending this rule to animals and nature, too!)
 
 
RULE 10: 
BE ENDLESSLY KIND
 
The last rule goes hand-in-hand with the previous rule. Kindness is mandatory for living a good life. Not only does kindness make the world a better place, but every time you're kind, you feel good. Also, regardless of whether or not you believe in karma, if you pay attention to how kindness plays out in your own life, you'll find that your kind deeds are often rewarded or returned in some way. Whether it's something small -- like sharing your water with your dog on a long walk or sending a friend a bag of cheer -- or something huge, being endlessly kind will always lead to a better, happier life. 
 
 
 
These words of wisdom are nothing new (after all, they were inspired by ancient philosophers!), but there's a reason we're still writing about these concepts today. They are vital for making the most of your life, regardless of who you are, what you have, where you live, or what you do. Follow these rules and an uncommonly good life can be yours! 
 
 
 
UncommonGoodsA big thanks to UncommonGoods for sponsoring this post! If you're looking for unique gifts, jewelry, home decor, and more, UncommonGoods should be your go-to spot. Not only do they sell meaningful products that create a positive impact on the world, but they also have amazing personalized gifts (see here), which I think are the best kinds of gifts! Plus, awesome filters on their site allow you to search by categories like birthdays (here), anniversaries (here), bridal showers (here), etc. Honestly, I feel like I could shop there for every occasion for years and years and never run out of creative gift ideas! Learn more about the cool story behind UncommonGoods here.

A-Wear-Ness: Mindfulness + What You Wear

 

Awearness
 

When you think of mindfulness, your wardrobe probably isn't the first thing that comes to mind, but your fashion choices (even if you don't think your attire falls in the "fashion" category) impact your life more than you might realize. Like it or not, what you wear influences how others see you and how you feel about yourself. “Enclothed cognition” is the scientific definition for how your style and clothing choices reflect and affect your mood, health, and confidence. And, of course, those things — mood, health, confidence — greatly influence how you see the world and how you live your life. 

Fashion has always been of interest to me (I even contemplated on majoring in it in college before I transferred to a school that didn't have a fashion program!), but I've avoided talking too much about it because it seemed too materialistic or superficial for Positively Present. A few weeks ago I read an article on The Numinous, "Fashion as Self-Love," about KE7H3R designer Janelle Corpuz Hethcoat, and it made me realize that fashion and mindfulness are, in fact, very much related. 

Fashion — just like all aspects of our lives — can (and should!) be a mindful practice. I've been thinking about the correlation between fashion and mindfulness a lot lately and I've decided to call this mindful practice of buying and wearing clothing a-wear-ness. I even created a little acronym (W.E.A.R.) to help you understand and practice a-wear-ness in your own life. 

 

WEAR WHAT SPEAKS TO YOU

In this first aspect of a-wear-ness, it's important to consider your personal style and your lifestyle. (I wear sweatpants 90% of the time, but that certainly wouldn't work if I had a typical corporate job!). This step also involves carefully considering what (and how often!) you're purchasing new things. Yes, buying something new feels great, but that feeling is fleeting. Instead of seeking that brand-new-outfit rush, be thoughtful about what you buy and strive to purchase only the things that truly speak to you.  

"Fashion becomes a self-love practice when you can honestly answer the question: does wearing this make me feel like I can be myself?" said Janelle Corpuz Hethcoat, and I couldn't agree with those words more. What you wear impacts how you feel, which is why it's important to wear things that make you feel good (regardless of whether they're cool or on-trend). First and foremost, pay attention to what styles you like and what's comfortable for you, but also be open to new styles, too. (No one ever feels that great when they're stuck in a fashion rut!)

Personally, I'm all for following fashion trends (these days I almost always have a choker on, I've got a new bomber jacket on the way to me right now, and I'm definitely on board with the fanny pack!), but I don't believe in wearing something just because it's on-trend. If you like it and it happens to be a trend, go for it! But if you want to focus on a-wear-ness, it's essential to wear only the things you love — things that make you smile, feel comfortable, or give you confidence — regardless of how "fashionable" they are. 

 

EVALUATE AND EDIT

Vivienne Westwood once said, "Buy less, choose well, make it last." Those are some very wise words, and they go hand-in-hand with the concept of a-wear-ness. 

Over the past few years, I've been hearing more about the capsule wardrobe, which consists of a owning fixed amount of well-made pieces that can be worn interchangeably rather than a closet filled with items you might only wear once. While I've yet to personally adopt this fashion model, I do edit my closet each season, getting rid of the items I no longer love or wear and donating them to someone who might make use of them.

Choosing a minimalist approach to your style and consciously curating your wardrobe means you're attention is on what you have instead of constantly seeking out new items to buy. This is not only good for your wallet and peace of mind (fewer options = less time stressing about what to wear), but it's also a great way to practice gratitude too because you learn to deeply appreciate the items you already possess rather than seeking new ones. 

If you're not sure how to do this, start by making a list of the clothing you actually wear often and take note of why you wear it. Does it feel comfortable? Does it make you happy? Did it come from a meaningful place or person? Take note of the styles, colors, fabrics, etc. you're drawn to (and the ones you're not, so you know what not to purchase in the future!). 

A great way to put this into practice is to create fashion vision board, like my Closet Cravings board on Pinterest. Doing this serves two important purposes: (1) it gives you great insight into your personal style, and (2) it provides a place for you to save items you like without immediately purchasing them. Pin them to your board and then come back later to see if you do, in fact, feel they are items that will add to your a-wear-ness

 

ASSESS THE SOURCE

Where your clothing comes from is important, and contemplating the creation and manufacturing of the items you purchase is a big part of a-wear-ness. The energy that goes into the clothing you wear can have an impact on you, whether you realize it or not. As Janelle Corpuz Hethcoat put it:

Think about the energy that is put behind creating what you are placing on your body as your expression and reflection of yourself. Everything, even fashion, is a transference of energy. When you choose products that are made ethically, you are showing loving concern for the world, which in turn is an act of self-love — because in saying that the rest of the humans on this planet deserve better you are also saying you deserve better.

While I won't deny that I love a good fast-fashion find, I also realize how important it is to consider where your items come from and do your best to make conscious choices. Cultivate a-wear-ness by researching wear your clothing is made and how it is done. And, if possible, try to buy from local or small businesses.   

Also, it's very important not to buy items that feature designs stolen from small businesses. There's been a huge, unfortunate trend of big brands stealing from smaller designers (see Shop Art Theft), and I'm pretty sure stolen designs aren't going to have the best karma. Putting things on your body that are made ethically (and not stolen from others!) is a great way to cultivate a-wear-ness. 

 

REVAMP WHAT YOU OWN

This last point ties in with the second one. If you choose to have a wardrobe filled with a thoughtfully curated selection of items you love (and actually wear!), you might, at times, get a bit bored with your wardrobe. But a-wear-ness doesn't have to be boring! The trick is to learn how to revamp your wardrobe in little ways so it feels fresh even when you don't go out and buy every new trendy item on the rack. 

First, it's important to make sure you care for the items you own and repair them when you can. It can be really useful to know how to sew and mend so you can revamp your items if they wear down. (If you're not the mending type, identify where you can take items that need to be fixed so you can keep them looking nice instead of purchasing new ones). 

In addition to keeping your items it tiptop shape, you can also revamp your wardrobe in a big way with small accessories. Accessories allow you to change-up your look without buying a brand new set of clothes each season, and they give you a bit of customization that allow you to share a little bit of  personality with the world. Not sure how to customize? First, check to see what you already own and consider how you might wear it with different outfits. If you're in the mood to add a little something to your closet, consider adding a pin (like my Less Hate, More Love one!) to your collar or investing in jewelry that has interchangeable elements (i.e., different watch bands or charms on a necklace).   

Revamping your wardrobe with little things is not only a great way to cut down on clothing costs, but it's a great way to practice a-wear-ness by tapping into your creativity and identifying items that refresh your look. 

 

Whether or not you give much thought to what you wear, I hope you enjoyed learning about the concept of a-wear-ness. Fashion might sound frivolous, but what you wear does matter, both in the greater ethical, environmental sense, and in the personal, self-love sense. Appearances aren't everything (it's what's inside that really matters!), but fashion is a great way to express your personality, play with your creativity, and increase your confidence. The more a-wear-ness you practice, the more mindful and self-aware you'll become. 

 

 

A big THANK YOU to the sponsor of this post, Fanny Factory! Fanny Factory is a fashion company on a mission to bring back the fanny pack! They have taken the classic 90s-era fanny packs and made them cool again with a huge variety of fun patterns – from tropical pineapples, to flamingos, to retro paint splatters and pink florals – there’s something for everyone! Perfect for music festivals, exercising and traveling: the fanny pack is back! Get your new favorite accessory at FannyFactory.com. 

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To Really Live: Fear Death, Not Life

 

Live-Fully
 

Want to really live your life to the fullest? Then it's high time you spent some time thinking about death. 

I've recently become obsessed with The School of Life's YouTube channel, and a recent video -- Reasons to Remember Death -- really caught my attention. Death is something a lot of people don't like to think about, and rightly so. The unknown is scary, and death is the biggest (and most inevitable) unknown we face. As scary as it is, it's useful to think about it and, as The School of Life suggests, use that fear to our advantage. The video kicks off with this powerful statement: 

 

Many things we're meant to tackle are left aside because we're scared.

We're scared to fail. We're scared to be alone with our own feelings, scared to eject certain people from our lives, scared to tell our partners who we really are, scared to take our dreams seriously.

From fear, we delay the lives we know we should be leading.

 

So many of us are afraid of what others might think of us, what risks we might have to take, or what we might lose if we show the world who we truly are and go after what we truly want. The thing is: there's not a lot of time. We're only given so many days, so many moments, and we don't know how many of those we have left. Rather than letting the brevity of life terrify us to the point of immobility, The School of Life suggests: 

 

We should use the thought of death not to make us despair of life, but to shake us into committedly pursuing the life we know we need to lead. We will act when the fear of death is finally allowed to trump the fear of failure or humiliation, compromise or shame.

Deliberately scare yourself about the only thing you need to fear, and thereby be liberated to get on with everything else that so badly needs doing.

 

I urge you to scare yourself a little bit this week. Think about what it will be like to be lying on your deathbed, reflecting back on your life. What will you want your life to have looked like? Are you doing what you need to make sure it looks what way? If not, why? What are you waiting for? When do you think the time will be right? (Hint: it's never the perfect time to do anything that's hard.) 

When you consider consider death -- scary as it is -- you'll realize that so much of what you spend your time worrying about isn't all that important. You'll feel freer and braver. You'll want to go after the things you really, truly want (even if those things seem a bit crazy). 

Don't delay the life you should be living. If you're not already living that life (and I hope you are!), find a way to take action now -- today, if possible! -- to move toward with living a life you'll look back on with gratitude and joy. Of course, life will never be perfect (and it would be boring if it was!), but life shouldn't be governed by the fear of failure, the sharp nudge of shame, or the cunning guise of compromise. Life should be ruled by pursuing the things that truly make you feel alive, fulfilled, and consumed with appreciation. 

There's a Latin term, momento mori, that means "remember that you have to die." It originated as a reminder to victorious generals not to get to caught up in praise after winning a battle, but instead to be humbled by the notion that they, too, would someday die. While the root of the concept was about humility and virtuous living, for me momento mori is about living a positive, fulfilled life not only because it's wonderful for you to make the most of your life, but because I truly believe that if you are doing things that bring you joy, gratitude, and fulfillment, you will ultimately make the world a better place. You living a good life is good for the lives of those around you and those who will continue to live long after you're gone. 

Life is like a giant ocean and everything we do has a ripple effect. The ripples we create -- both good and bad -- spread out and out and out. They reach so many more people than we realize. What you do with your life matters, and the more you fear death, not life, the more you'll make the most of every moment you're given. The better your moments, the more good ripples you send out into this great big ocean of humanity. 

I know death is scary (I won't pretend I've come close to accepting it yet, though I hope one day I'll find peace with the inevitable...), but it's important to use it to your advantage, rather than avoid it. We're all afraid, but it's so much more useful to fear death than it is to fear life. Try not to think of the space between right now and your last day as a negative (a limited amount of time) but as a positive (an exciting challenge to make the most of these remaining moments). Regardless of how many days you have left, I believe you deserve to live them to the fullest, and, more importantly, I believe you have the strength and knowhow to go after the life you deserve right now

 

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less hate, more love : taking positive action

  Less-Hate-More-Love

 

[THANK YOU to everyone who took the Reader Survey! The giveaway is closed, but the survey is still open if you'd still like to give feedback. I know a lot of you would like shorter articles and I hear you! This one is lengthy because I have a lot to say, but I promise I'll cut them down in the future.]

 

For those of you who don't want all the details, here's the TL;DR version of this post:

Gun violence sucks. I'm scared and saddened, and I want to do something so I made these pins and I'm donating 50% of the proceeds to the Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence

 

 

Generally I don't write about politics or current events, but a lot of you who took the reader survey said you'd like "more personal stuff," so I'm stepping out of my comfort zone today.

I hesitate to write about personal things or beliefs because, in all honesty, I fear losing readers -- not because I want more readers, but because I want everyone to have an opportunity to learn more about living positively in the present. I worry that if I write too much about personal beliefs (or potentially feather-ruffling topics like money, politics, religion, or sex), people will turn away from the site and miss out on the benefits of living a positive, present life.

But it's too hard for me to remain quiet right now. 

 

FEELING THE FEAR

Positively Present isn't (and will never be) a place for political discussions, but recent news -- particularly the Orlando massacre, the murder of Christina Grimmie, and a deadly shooting at my local mall -- has deeply impacted me. While don't know anyone involved in these tragedies, I can't stop thinking about how it must feel to lose a loved one for no reason other than the hate-fueled actions of a mentally unstable man.

It keeps me up at night, my mind racing with thoughts like, Why did this happen? When will it happen to someone I know? What can be done? How can we fix this? These thoughts plague my days, causing me to be fearful in places I should feel safe. 

At the post office yesterday (shipping self-love stickers!) a man in front of me began a heated argument with the postal worker behind the counter. Their voices raised and he called her a bitch, and my eyes immediately went to the waistline of his pants in search of a gun. I could feel the color drain from my face and my heart pound fast as I thought, He could have a gun. He could pull out a gun and start shooting us.

While these thoughts are not helpful (or present-minded!), they aren't entirely irrational. I have reason to be afraid. And that makes me sad. And mad

I don't want to be afraid, and I don't want other people to be afraid either. What happened in Orlando has hit me hard. I can't pinpoint exactly why -- maybe it was the number of people killed or the fact that a community I feel part of, as an ally, was targeted. Or maybe, like so many American citizens, I've simply had enough. 

Whatever the reason, this is the first mass-shooting that brought me to tears. Lying in my bed, reading Eddie Justice's last texts to his mother, tears streamed down my face and I knew I had to do something.

 

TAKING POSITIVE ACTION

In the aftermath of past mass shootings, I've been one of those saying, "We should do something!" But while saying "we," I really meant "someone else." Someone else should do something. Because, really, what could someone like me -- with no political connections and little extra money to donate -- actually do? 

Taking action is hard, particularly when it's not clear what action should be taken. Do I want to restrict Americans' freedoms? No. Do I want to be able to go to the post office without fearing I might be murdered? Yes.

I still don't know what exactly should be done, but I know with certainty that two things lie at the heart of all mass shootings: hatred and guns. Regardless of how you feel about guns, you cannot deny that hate (served with a side of mental instability) is what pulls the trigger. 

We need to lessen hate and create more love.

But how do we do that? We'll never eradicate hate, but just because we can't rid the world of it completely doesn't mean we should sit by complacently and watch it pelt bullets into the bodies of people at nightclubs and churches and malls and schools.

If we want things to change -- whether it's something personal or political -- we have to take some sort of action, however small.  

Less-Hate-More-Love-Preorder-Click

LESS HATE, MORE LOVE PIN

When the news broke about Orlando, I was in the process of designing my first enamel pin. After I heard the news, I knew I could use the pin to make a difference. I switched the direction of my design and created the Less Hate, More Love pin.

The pin is not only a way raise money (50% of the proceeds will be donated to the Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence), but it also serves as a visual reminder that love is incredibly powerful. We need more of it. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

We cannot fight hate with more hate. We must fight with love. It's my hope that this little pin will remind us of that every time we look at it. 

 

ABOUT THE DONATION

Of course, love alone won't solve our problems. If we want change, I believe we have to start with education. We need all kinds of education to make this world a better place, but there are two things we need much more education on: hate and guns.

Hate is what I'd really like to tackle, but I'm starting small. After much research, I decided to donate to the Educational Fund to Stop Gun Violence, an organization making communities safer by translating research into policy.

The EFSGV works on policy development, supports policymakers and gun violence prevention advocates by drafting and implementing policy, influences the policymaking process by lobbying and educating policymakers, and works with community members to bring their voices to policymakers. 

If you're not into the idea of a pin or want to donate directly, here's info on how to donate to EFSGV.

Less-Hate-More-Love-Pin-Preorder

Whether or not you buy a pin or donate to (or even believe in) this cause, I hope this post reminds you that, if you want change, you have to do something. You might feel small, but, as Ronald Reagan once said, "We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone." 

Doing something small is better than doing nothing at all. You can use your skills (whatever they might be!) to make a difference in whatever cause you believe in. Use your voice, your time, your money, and your resources to make a positive impact in the world.  


work + rest: how to find a perfect balance

Work Rest
 

Work and rest. Two things we must all do, and two things we often struggle with. For some, working comes easily -- we're always on the go, always doing something that makes us feel productive. For others, it's the rest that comes without struggle -- we're content to lie on the couch all day, ignoring the ever-lengthening to-do list.

Those who fall on the work end of the spectrum often long for rest, but even when they're offered a day off or try to have a lazy Sunday, they always find themselves restless and work-focused. Those on the other end of the spectrum also struggle; though they might have the benefit of lots of rest and relaxation, they find it challenging to get things done and often feel anxious about the lack of work they've accomplished. Many are lucky to fall somewhere in the middle of the work/rest spectrum, but for those who aren't, every day can be a test of willpower and motivation.  

Regardless of whether you're generally better at working or better at resting (or somewhere in between), you've probably found yourself with different strengths at different times in your life. For example, if you're doing work you love, you might find yourself always wanting to work (and doing very little resting). Or, if you've recently suffered emotional or physical pain, you might find it hard to find motivation to work and may be spending more time than you'd like on the couch or in bed. Life is filled with ups and downs, of course, and there is a time for resting and a time for working, but if you find yourself doing one much more than you'd like, here are some tips for creating more work/rest balance... 

 

IF YOU FEEL YOU WORK TOO MUCH... 


Ask for help. 

One of the best things you can do if yourself overwhelmed with working more than you should is ask for help. If you're a do-it-yourself kind of person (I can relate!) sometimes it might not even occur to you that someone else could help you out with part of your job. Outsourcing, asking a coworker for assistance, or saying no to new projects when you already have a ton on your plate are just some ways you can ask for help. And pay attention to all the jobs you have, too. Being a parent, a friend, a mentor, etc. -- those are also jobs. If you're struggling to balance them all and aren't getting enough rest, speak up and ask those around you to lend a hand.  

 

Take a day off. 

For hardcore worker bees, the idea of a day off might sound like a disaster -- the perfect opportunity for things to pile up on your desk and for emails to overwhelm your inbox. But remember this: the more rested and relaxed you are, the better you'll be at your job. And often the best way to rest is to take a day off work -- and I'm talking about a real day off. No emails. No "just checking in." And honest-to-god, no-work-whatsoever day off. This also shouldn't be an actual vacation because those often come with different kinds of travel-related stress. Take a day of just to stay at home and do nothing but relax. 

 

Change locations. 

When you find yourself working all of the time, it's usually because work is all around you. You're either at the office all the time or in front of your computer or phone. If you want to have a true break, it helps to get yourself out of your working routine and go somewhere different, even if it's just for a short period of time. Take a walk around your office building or grab a snack in the break room. Try your best to physically change where you are as often as you can during a day, preferably making sure some of those locations involve the outdoors. (It's much easier to relax when you're surrounded by nature!)

 

Put the phone down.

If you really want some quality rest, the most important thing you can do for yourself is put down your phone. It's one of the strongest ties to work (checking email is such a temptation!) so when you're really trying to relax, put your phone away. If this is hard for you (I know it is for me!), ask someone else to take it from you for an hour or so, or tuck it on a high shelf that's really annoying to access to make it harder for you to "just check one thing..." If you're dedicated to your work, putting the phone down will be challenging, but it's vital for true and meaningful rest. 

 

IF YOU FEEL YOU REST TOO MUCH... 


Get up (and dressed). 

Is your environment and lifestyle encouraging you to spend too much time resting? If you spend all day in your sweatpants, lying in bed with the TV on or your phone in your hand, it's going to be very difficult to get motivated. (As someone who works from home, this is one of my biggest struggles.) Your environment (and your attire) shape how you feel. If you're dressed for lounging, you're going to want to lounge. When you're feeling uninspired and struggling to get in a work mindset, start with your environment and your outfit. Put on something that makes you feel professional and put together and you'll be a lot less likely to spend all day vegging out. 

 

Break it down. 

One of the hardest things about getting to work when you're in an unmotivated mindset is thinking about how hard it will be get everything done. Instead of aiming to work all day, start out small. Tell yourself you'll tackle just one thing on your list, or you'll work on a big project for just 15-20 minutes. Breaking it down in this way makes it much easier to manage (making it more likely you'll actually attempt it). I've also found that once you start working on something (or complete one small task), you want to do more and before you know it, 15 minutes will have turned into an hour! 

 

Find a partner.  

We all have times in our lives when we feel less motivated and inspired. One way to perk yourself up (and get your buns in gear!) is by having a buddy that will help you stay on track. Find someone else who is struggling just like you and check in with each other daily (or more frequently) to see how much progress is being made. Or, find someone you really admire for their work ethic and ask him/her to hold you accountable for work tasks. Accountability is a huge element of an effective work environment and if you don't already have it built in (if you work for yourself or have a disinterested boss), create it for yourself by finding a partner. 

 

Put the phone down. 

Just as putting your phone down is vital for getting rest, it's also vital for getting work done. One of the greatest distractions in the world today is technology. Don't get me wrong -- I love it -- but it can be a huge time suck, draining you of attention and energy when you have a lot to accomplish. If you want to get work done, take your phone (or whatever other distraction you have) and put it away where you won't be tempted to look at it. I've found it to be 100% true that the less time I spend with my phone, the more work I get done. If this is a struggle for you, just put it away for 30 minutes at a time, or allow yourself set times of the day when you will check it. 

 

 

One final tip that works for both "workers" and "resters" is looking at the big picture. Pause for a moment and think about how you want to feel at the end of your life. What do you want to look back and see? There's no right or wrong answer to this -- we all have unique dreams and goals -- but, regardless of your individual desires, you probably don't want to look back on your life and see that you spent all of your time working or lazing about. You'll probably want to see that you did good work at times, that you relaxed at times, and that you had a nice work/rest balance. So, whenever you find yourself leaning to far toward one side of the spectrum, ask yourself: what will I think of myself when I look back at this moment years from now? That big-picture perspective can be just the reminder you need to take a break or break out of a work-too-much rut.  

  

Finding-Self-Cover

You know where else you can find balance? In yourself! If you're looking for some more soul-searching inspiration, check out the Finding Yourself workbook. Discover more about yourself, and uncover what you want most by downloading a copy of the e-book Finding Yourself: A Soul-Searching Workbook for Surprising Self Discovery. Filled with inspiration, questions, and activities to get you thinking about what it means to be you, Finding Yourself is a must for learning more about who you are and about what matters most to you. Learn more about the workbook here and purchase your own copy here.