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Life isn't always easy. Okay, it's rarely easy. We all face some pretty big "ouch" moments just by being here and it's not always easy to cope. And, more often than not, it's the painful moments that catch us by surprise. Here's an example of how life caught me by surprise recently... Two days ago, I was sitting at my desk, staring out the window at the beautiful, sunny fall afternoon and thinking to myself, "God, I'd give anything to get out of work right now." Less than fifteen minutes later (as I was trying to convince myself to be productive all while being sucked into the sticky, addictive trap that is Twitter), my phone ran. It was my mom, telling me she and my dad were on the way to the hospital because she wasn't feeling well. Though she insisted I stay at work, I grabbed my purse, alerted my boss, and flew out the door and down the highway to the hospital.
Be Careful What You Wish For
On the drive to the hospital, I couldn't help but think back to the words I'd been thinking right before I'd received my mom's call. "I'd give anything to get out of work right now..."That "anything" stung when I realized just what it had taken to remove me from my afternoon of boredom. Driving faster than I should have been, I let my mind wander first to the bad ("Oh my god, what if something's really wrong? What if this is something terrible? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god...") and then to the good ("I'm sure it's no big deal. I'm sure she's just being extra cautious and she's totally fine. I'm going to get there and she's going to be 100% better").
Looking back, I guess those thoughts were less "bad" and "good" and more "terrified" and "idealistic." Either way, my mind was racing and my heart was beating fast and my fingers were clutching the steering wheel like it was an inner tube in a turbulent sea. As much as I hate to admit it, what I felt most in that moment was alive. I felt truly like I had a definite sense of purpose and that all I could do was be in that moment. My mind didn't wander to work or boys or stupid things like shopping. My mind was focused. So focused, in fact, that I listened to more than one song all the way through on my iPod, something I never, ever do (yes, I have a bit of musical ADD). I was intent. I was focused. I was in the now.
Be Positive in the Present (Even When It Sucks)
Of course, this wasn't exactly the now I wanted to be in. I would have much preferred to have been back in that "boring" now, the one where I was sitting at my desk, flipping through notes I should have been reading, clicking from Twitter to Gmail and back again. Driving to the hospital, I would have given anything to have been in a banal moment of a regular day at work rather than hurrying to find out if my mom -- who had been sick for days and who has always had severe asthma, landing her in the hospital on more than one occasion -- was going to be okay. I would have preferred another moment for sure, but I was grateful for the opportunity, at the very least, to use the positive skills I'd been saving up.
For months and months and months I've been working on being a more positive person but, quite frankly, I'm not often put to the test. Not to say that my life has been ideal since I started on this journey of positive thinking -- far from it! -- but I haven't had to face any huge hurdles. You know, situations that would test me and force me to see if I really could be positive when life was throwing lemons at me. And here I was, taking that positivity out for a test drive. Though I was upset (struggling not to cry) and anxious (driving like a mad woman), I still had the power to choose a positive attitude. And, no matter what my mother was facing in that hospital room, a positive attitude was really the only option. I couldn't drag any of my old negativity behind that emergency room curtain. No, I had to put my game face on. I had to embrace the positivity for all it was worth because this was it. This was what a positive attitude was all about.
Be a Positive Inspiration for Others
After pulling into an incredibly tiny parking space and rushing into the hospital where I found my mom and dad in hurry-up-and-wait mode in the waiting room, I realized that, though my hands were shaking like a rattling old train car and my heart was fluttering like a moth against a brightly lit window, I could do this. I could see the good in the situation, make the best of whatever we had to face, and I could make my mom feel like everything was going to be okay. After all, isn't that what she'd done for me for the past twenty-six years? Hadn't she always been there, reassuring me that everything was going to be alright? And, more importantly, hadn't she always been right? Hadn't things always turned out okay in the end? I could, just like my mom, put a positive spin on the situation. Or, at least, I could try.
And try I did. I did my best to be cheerful, to offer distractions, and to keep focusing on the positive. Of course this wasn't the easiest thing to do considering the hospital room backdrop (I thought I was going to freak out when, for the first time in real life, I saw a strapped-in, face-masked body being wheeled by on a gurney. Yikes!), but I did the best I could. Even with all of the waiting and the worrying, I think I did a pretty good job staying positive. And even when the doctor, without even looking up from his clipboard, said the much-feared letter and number combo -- H1N1 -- I still managed to be pretty upbeat. After all, I rationalized (or is it realized?), being negative wasn't going to help my mom get any better. The best thing for her would be lots of rest, following the doctor's orders, and having a positive attitude. And how could she have a positive attitude if those around her weren't positive?
In this situation, it was certainly tempting to see the negative side of things, especially with the way this whole H1N1 thing has been explored in the media, but I made a choice then and there in that hospital room. I was going to be positive. And, though I'd love to be able to tell you that my mom is 100% better, miraculously cured, I do think having a positive attitude -- and surrounding herself with positive people -- really does help. Well, it certainly doesn't hurt. It's important to remember that even when facing some of those "ouch" or "oh no" moments, a positive attitude is one of your best weapons. Hard as it might be to hold on to when you're faced with difficulty, it can make a huge difference not only in your life but the lives of those around you.
Be Grateful for the Power of Positivity
Often times people think that having a positive attitude during a difficult time is a sign that you don't care enough or you're being idealistic. I will argue that that's just not true. Of course I care about my mom and don't want anything bad to happen to her. Of course I'm worried and upset and scared by that tiny little virus that's found it's way into her body. Of course I don't take this situation lightly at all. But none of those things are lessened if I have a positive attitude about the situation and firmly believe that my mom will be better in no time. Being positive doesn't mean you're naive or indifferent; being positive means you have the strength to stand up to a negative situation, to courageously refute negativity and embrace the good that lies in the now (even if that now seems pretty shitty).
If this situation had happened a year ago, I bet I'd be sitting at my desk panicky, frantically researching H1N1, and holding back tears. Now, with this positive attitude like a card up my sleeve, I'm calm. I'm relaxed. Of course I'm still worried and nervous and scared, but I know that focusing on those negative emotions won't help me and it won't help my mom either. Instead, I'm trying the best I can to believe that she'll be well soon (Law of Attraction!) and to send positive vibes her way.
Honestly, I'm grateful. I'm really grateful for the positive outlook I'm sitting here with. Like a close friend, it's comforting and reassuring and it makes me realize, for the first time, that I have made major changes in my life and that all of the work I've done to create a more positive mindset really is paying off. Yes, readers. positivity really does work. If you're not already giving positive thinking a try -- and I mean a really, really good try -- I suggest you get started ASAP. There's no time like the present to start thinking positively!
Worried about H1N1? Remember that stressing about it doesn't make you any less likely to get it. Instead, do what you can to prevent catching or spreading the disease by staying healthy, washing your hands, and avoiding sharing drinks, makeup, etc. with others. For more H1N1 prevention tips, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Looking for some more positivity? Recently I've had the opportunity to be featured on not one but two awesome blogs. Yesterday my post "Putting Knowledge Into Action" was featured on Tiny Buddha and today my post "Making a Positive Mindset Your Favorite Accessory" is up on Life, Laughs, & Lemmings. If you have a moment or two, check out these great sites today!