8 tips for creating a positive career

 Positively-Present-Career-Advice

Download the Career Advice PDF here!

 

This coming Friday I have the honor of being the keynote speaker at my high school's Career Day! To be honest, I've put off writing my speech for weeks because I'm quite nervous. I've spoken in front of plenty of adult-filled rooms before, but something about this feels different. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized the big difference between this speaking event and others is: I really want to positively impact these girls -- and think I have an opportunity to do so more than I would with adults. I remember how I was at that age and, even though I often came off as couldn't-care-less, too-cool-for-this, high school was a time of great learning and change, and the things I did, read, and experienced had a big impact on me. 

As most adults do, I wish I could tell my younger self all the things I know now (and have her actually listen to my advice!). This speaking opportunity is, in some small way, a chance to share what I've learned with young women who will be sitting just where I once was. I'm grateful that I'll have a chance to speak to these girls, to tell them what I know, especially about building a career that brings fulfillment to my life. I'm sure some of them will roll their eyes or zone out (I know I might have), but I'm hoping some of them will tune in and feel inspired by what I have to say. Though I still haven't figured out exactly what my speech will sound like, I've narrowed my focus to eight key ideas, which I thought I'd share with you in case you're (a) a teenage girl reading this and wondering what to do with her or life, or (b) a regular ol' adult who longs for a career that's inspiring and fulfilling. 

 

1. FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU LIKE

The first (and most important!) step to creating a career you'll actually enjoy is figuring out what you like. This sounds kind of obvious, but most of us aren't taught to pay close attention to what we enjoy doing. We're asked what our favorite subject is, but not necessarily encouraged to dig deeper. Let's say your favorite subject is English. Why? Because you like to write? Because it's one of the few courses where you can be creative? Because you enjoy reading? Understanding why you like something is so important to carving out a career path because it gives you guidelines but doesn't limit you to only one path. Imagine your ideal career. Why do you feel drawn to that? What about it is most appealing (i.e., freedom, ability to travel, creativity, income, etc.)? It's important to know what things interest you, but also why they interest you.

 

2. TAKE YOUR TIME

And this is where step number two comes in: taking your time. Whether you're a high schooler or a middle-aged adult, it's important to take your time when reflecting on what you want in a career. (And, yes, adults can change careers! It's never too late!) It's okay to take time to figure out exactly what you want to do (and why you want to do it). In fact, it's a good idea not to rush into one thing, assuming it's going to be perfect for you. Until you really get into something (a career, a relationship, etc.), you don't know exactly what it will be like. So go slow. And pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel when you're doing something (for work and for fun). Are you truly enjoying yourself? Are you unaware of how much time has passed? Are you bored or wishing you we somewhere else? Taking your time allows you to take note of how certain activities make you feel. Very few people have the "perfect" career right off the bat; most successful people take time to explore what will really work for them.

 

TRY NEW THINGS

Hand-in-hand with taking your time is the next step: trying new things. People of any age can (and should!) try new things, but this is especially true when you're in high school and college. Those are some of the best times to get out of your comfort zone and experiment with different activities, groups of people, and interests. Schools are such great resources for information and opportunities, and it's a great idea to take advantage of all they have to offer while you can. Sign up for random clubs, try out for a play, volunteer with classmates, sit with a different crowd at lunch -- do whatever you can to have new experiences as often as possible. You probably won't love all of them, but you'll learn something about yourself. And the better you know yourself, the better equipped you are to choose a path that's best for you.

 

MAKE MISTAKES

While I won't advise you actively go looking for mistakes to make, I will recommend being open enough to new experiences and situations to risk making a mistake or two. After all, I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't taken the big risk of leaving my regular job to do what I love! The worst thing you can do when trying to create an inspiring career is avoid taking any risks. When you get out of your comfort zone and try different things, you're bound to make mistakes. But making mistakes is how you learn, and from the errors you make come endless insights into what does and doesn't work for you. For example, you might take a job in an industry you're not sure you'll love. After awhile, you might grow to dislike the job. Rather than think to yourself, What a mistake. I never should have accepted this job! consider what you've learned and take those lessons with you when you move on to a new job.

 

NEVER STOP LEARNING

Continual learning is absolutely vital for creating an amazing, positive career. Even if you've found your dream job and you love what you do, keep learning -- about your industry, about other industries, about life in general. The more you know, the more you'll be able to create a more ideal career situation for yourself. And, you might discover that there are other things you might enjoy doing as well. When I left my full-time job to pursue Positively Present, I had absolutely no idea I would end up launching my own graphic design business! And the only reason this happened was because I signed up for a few classes to see if I could improve some of the design on my site. As soon as I mastered the basics, I realized how much I loved graphic design and illustrating and now it's a huge part of what I do. You never know what will happen when you open yourself up to learning new things, and there are so many great online resources to keep learning even if you're no longer in school. 

 

LOVE WHO YOU ARE

Cultivating self-love is more general life advice than it is career advice, but self-love actually plays a big role in creating a great career. For one, the more you love and respect yourself, the less likely you are to settle for a career path that's only ho-hum. Self-love tunes you in to your unique talents and abilities and makes you confident enough to want to share these with others through your work. Additionally, a strong love for yourself will prevent you from ever settling for poor treatment at the workplace (or anywhere!). You teach others how to treat you, and if you treat yourself with love and respect, you'll form more positive relationships at work, and those will always help you (even if you don't love your current job). Self-love also discourages you from comparing where you are to where others are, which can sometimes be a problem in the workplace. With a loving attitude toward yourself, you'll focus on your own work and you won't waste time comparing yourself to others.  

 

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY

When I was in high school, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I always envisioned myself working for Vogue or writing novels. I never, in a million years, imagined I'd write on my own site (blogs were barely a thing back then!), publish a book filled with my own (positive!) advice, or have the opportunity to be creative through graphic design. No one ever said to me, "You can be a writer and a graphic designer," but, here I am, doing both. We all have the power to write our own stories -- in our careers and in life in general -- and you don't have to do what everyone else is doing or do it the same way others do it. Look to those who have careers you admire and use them as inspiration, but don't feel you have to do just what they do. Remember: you're the author of your own career, and you can write your own unique story, even if it's a tale that's never been written before. 

 

LOOK FOR THE GOOD

Looking for the good is another piece of advice that applies to life as well as work. No matter what situation you find yourself in career-wise, strive to make the best of it while you're there. Unless you're extremely lucky, you'll probably have some jobs you don't love. And that's okay. Try to enjoy them the best you can while you're there and use them as opportunities to learn what you do and don't like. Even if you're fortunate enough to do what you love (and I hope you are!), you'll have to do things you don't enjoy, and there will be days you feel drained of all energy and inspiration. These are the times you'll need to look hard for the good, but an optimistic outlook is always worth the effort. Whether it's at work or in life, the only thing you have 100% control over at all times is your attitude. It sounds cliche, but choosing a positive attitude can be transform the way you see your career -- and the way you see the world.  

 

Whether you're thinking about a future career or you're looking to make a career change, I hope these tips inspire you to do some soul-searching and figure out what you really want. It's hard not to get caught up in what you "should" be doing (or what everyone else is doing), but never forget that your career is yours and you have the power to spend your days working in an environment that makes you feel inspired, fulfilled, and happy.  

 

 

  

Finding-Self-Cover

Knowing who you are and what you want is key to creating a positive career. If you're looking for some more soul-searching inspiration, check out the Finding Yourself workbook. Discover more about yourself, and uncover what you want most by downloading a copy of the e-book Finding Yourself: A Soul-Searching Workbook for Surprising Self Discovery. Filled with inspiration, questions, and activities to get you thinking about what it means to be you, Finding Yourself is a must for learning more about who you are and about what matters most to you. Learn more about the workbook here and purchase your own copy here.


work + rest: how to find a perfect balance

Work Rest
 

Work and rest. Two things we must all do, and two things we often struggle with. For some, working comes easily -- we're always on the go, always doing something that makes us feel productive. For others, it's the rest that comes without struggle -- we're content to lie on the couch all day, ignoring the ever-lengthening to-do list.

Those who fall on the work end of the spectrum often long for rest, but even when they're offered a day off or try to have a lazy Sunday, they always find themselves restless and work-focused. Those on the other end of the spectrum also struggle; though they might have the benefit of lots of rest and relaxation, they find it challenging to get things done and often feel anxious about the lack of work they've accomplished. Many are lucky to fall somewhere in the middle of the work/rest spectrum, but for those who aren't, every day can be a test of willpower and motivation.  

Regardless of whether you're generally better at working or better at resting (or somewhere in between), you've probably found yourself with different strengths at different times in your life. For example, if you're doing work you love, you might find yourself always wanting to work (and doing very little resting). Or, if you've recently suffered emotional or physical pain, you might find it hard to find motivation to work and may be spending more time than you'd like on the couch or in bed. Life is filled with ups and downs, of course, and there is a time for resting and a time for working, but if you find yourself doing one much more than you'd like, here are some tips for creating more work/rest balance... 

 

IF YOU FEEL YOU WORK TOO MUCH... 


Ask for help. 

One of the best things you can do if yourself overwhelmed with working more than you should is ask for help. If you're a do-it-yourself kind of person (I can relate!) sometimes it might not even occur to you that someone else could help you out with part of your job. Outsourcing, asking a coworker for assistance, or saying no to new projects when you already have a ton on your plate are just some ways you can ask for help. And pay attention to all the jobs you have, too. Being a parent, a friend, a mentor, etc. -- those are also jobs. If you're struggling to balance them all and aren't getting enough rest, speak up and ask those around you to lend a hand.  

 

Take a day off. 

For hardcore worker bees, the idea of a day off might sound like a disaster -- the perfect opportunity for things to pile up on your desk and for emails to overwhelm your inbox. But remember this: the more rested and relaxed you are, the better you'll be at your job. And often the best way to rest is to take a day off work -- and I'm talking about a real day off. No emails. No "just checking in." And honest-to-god, no-work-whatsoever day off. This also shouldn't be an actual vacation because those often come with different kinds of travel-related stress. Take a day of just to stay at home and do nothing but relax. 

 

Change locations. 

When you find yourself working all of the time, it's usually because work is all around you. You're either at the office all the time or in front of your computer or phone. If you want to have a true break, it helps to get yourself out of your working routine and go somewhere different, even if it's just for a short period of time. Take a walk around your office building or grab a snack in the break room. Try your best to physically change where you are as often as you can during a day, preferably making sure some of those locations involve the outdoors. (It's much easier to relax when you're surrounded by nature!)

 

Put the phone down.

If you really want some quality rest, the most important thing you can do for yourself is put down your phone. It's one of the strongest ties to work (checking email is such a temptation!) so when you're really trying to relax, put your phone away. If this is hard for you (I know it is for me!), ask someone else to take it from you for an hour or so, or tuck it on a high shelf that's really annoying to access to make it harder for you to "just check one thing..." If you're dedicated to your work, putting the phone down will be challenging, but it's vital for true and meaningful rest. 

 

IF YOU FEEL YOU REST TOO MUCH... 


Get up (and dressed). 

Is your environment and lifestyle encouraging you to spend too much time resting? If you spend all day in your sweatpants, lying in bed with the TV on or your phone in your hand, it's going to be very difficult to get motivated. (As someone who works from home, this is one of my biggest struggles.) Your environment (and your attire) shape how you feel. If you're dressed for lounging, you're going to want to lounge. When you're feeling uninspired and struggling to get in a work mindset, start with your environment and your outfit. Put on something that makes you feel professional and put together and you'll be a lot less likely to spend all day vegging out. 

 

Break it down. 

One of the hardest things about getting to work when you're in an unmotivated mindset is thinking about how hard it will be get everything done. Instead of aiming to work all day, start out small. Tell yourself you'll tackle just one thing on your list, or you'll work on a big project for just 15-20 minutes. Breaking it down in this way makes it much easier to manage (making it more likely you'll actually attempt it). I've also found that once you start working on something (or complete one small task), you want to do more and before you know it, 15 minutes will have turned into an hour! 

 

Find a partner.  

We all have times in our lives when we feel less motivated and inspired. One way to perk yourself up (and get your buns in gear!) is by having a buddy that will help you stay on track. Find someone else who is struggling just like you and check in with each other daily (or more frequently) to see how much progress is being made. Or, find someone you really admire for their work ethic and ask him/her to hold you accountable for work tasks. Accountability is a huge element of an effective work environment and if you don't already have it built in (if you work for yourself or have a disinterested boss), create it for yourself by finding a partner. 

 

Put the phone down. 

Just as putting your phone down is vital for getting rest, it's also vital for getting work done. One of the greatest distractions in the world today is technology. Don't get me wrong -- I love it -- but it can be a huge time suck, draining you of attention and energy when you have a lot to accomplish. If you want to get work done, take your phone (or whatever other distraction you have) and put it away where you won't be tempted to look at it. I've found it to be 100% true that the less time I spend with my phone, the more work I get done. If this is a struggle for you, just put it away for 30 minutes at a time, or allow yourself set times of the day when you will check it. 

 

 

One final tip that works for both "workers" and "resters" is looking at the big picture. Pause for a moment and think about how you want to feel at the end of your life. What do you want to look back and see? There's no right or wrong answer to this -- we all have unique dreams and goals -- but, regardless of your individual desires, you probably don't want to look back on your life and see that you spent all of your time working or lazing about. You'll probably want to see that you did good work at times, that you relaxed at times, and that you had a nice work/rest balance. So, whenever you find yourself leaning to far toward one side of the spectrum, ask yourself: what will I think of myself when I look back at this moment years from now? That big-picture perspective can be just the reminder you need to take a break or break out of a work-too-much rut.  

  

Finding-Self-Cover

You know where else you can find balance? In yourself! If you're looking for some more soul-searching inspiration, check out the Finding Yourself workbook. Discover more about yourself, and uncover what you want most by downloading a copy of the e-book Finding Yourself: A Soul-Searching Workbook for Surprising Self Discovery. Filled with inspiration, questions, and activities to get you thinking about what it means to be you, Finding Yourself is a must for learning more about who you are and about what matters most to you. Learn more about the workbook here and purchase your own copy here.


hooray! effortless inspiration coming soon!

New-Books

You might have already heard the news on Instagram awhile back, but today I'm officially sharing the details of my upcoming books! I'm soooo excited to announce that in 2016 I have not one, not two, but FOUR new books coming out! [Insert wide-eyed emoji face here.]

These four books are part of a series called Effortless Inspiration for a Happier Life, designed and written by me for Watkins Publishing. The goal of these compact books is to provide bite-sized inspiration and on-the-go insights on four topics that are absolutely essential for living a positively present life: living in the moment, gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness. 

Creation of these little books began last year, and it's so exciting that they'll be arriving on bookshelves in 2016! Read on for more details about the series and the individual books. (And keep scrolling to see how you can download a free PDF sample!)

 

ABOUT THE EFFORTLESS INSPIRATION SERIES

What's so exciting about these books is how different they are from anything else I've created before (like Stay Positive: Daily Reminders from Positively Present and The Positively Present Guide to Life)! Each little book features 18 inspirations quotes on a specific topic (Living in the MomentGratitude, Compassion, or Forgiveness) followed by an insightful explanation, a thought-provoking activity or question, and a memorable affirmation. The design and layout of these books was created with the goal of keeping inspiration accessible, providing insights that can be incorporated into day-to-day life.

Just as I strive to do here on Positively Present, these books were created with the intention of providing uplifting, inspiring content that you can actually use in your real life. Here's a sample from the Gratitude book: 

Gratitude-SampleDownload a PDF Sample Here!

Isn't it pretty?! I'm so pleased with how they turned out! (The colors pop even more in person!) Of course, looks aren't everything. The real purpose of these books is to zero in on important topics and here's a breakdown of each topic (with release dates!): 

 

LivingCover

Living in the Moment
(click to preorder!)

UK: May 19, 2016 / US: September 13, 2016

Life transpires in the present. Yet so often we let the present slip away, wasting precious seconds worrying about the future or ruminating about what's passed. Learning to live in the moment (also known as mindfulness) can have immense power to stop us focusing so much on doing and thinking and instead focus on being.

Living in the Moment inspires readers to think about mindfulness in a fresh way, while encouraging them to incorporate it into their everyday lives. Mindful people tend to feel more relaxed, less distracted, more balanced and decisive. They have increased energy and self-esteem as well as greater productivity, stronger relationships, and an enhanced immune system.

With its appealing design, uplifting content and friendly tone, this little book on living in the now provides beautiful, bite-sized inspiration for people around the world to live in the now. And, with increased awareness, we can really savor each of life's precious moments.

 

GratitudeCover

Gratitude
(click to preorder!)

UK: May 19, 2016 / US: September 13, 2016

Cultivating gratitude doesn't cost any money and doesn't take much time, but the benefits can be enormous, helping you focus on what you have rather than what you don't: friends and family, positive personal qualities, your surroundings, a healthy body, a vibrant mind, and the list goes on.

Research has shown that grateful people tend to be less envious, more relaxed, more humble, more emotionally resilient, and less materialistic. They have increased energy, greater self-esteem, increased productivity, and are able to build stronger relationships. What's more, when children see a thankful parent, they are more likely to become thankful children.

Modern design paired uplifting content make this little book on gratitude essential for anyone seeking beautiful, bite-sized inspiration to live more grateful, contented life.

 

CompassionCover 

Compassion
(click to preorder!)

UK / US: October 18, 2016

Compassion is the ability to feel sympathetic towards those who are suffering while desiring to relieve their pain. It's not just a feeling -- it's a desire to help others who are struggling or in pain. Imagine what the world would be like if we all experienced compassion on a daily basis!

Recent scientific research has shown that compassionate people tend to be more understanding, less angry, and less stressed than other people, with stronger relationships and even enhanced immune systems. People who live with compassion or show concern for others' wellbeing also tend to create a more harmonious atmosphere around them. Compassion breeds compassion, leading to all-round enhanced contentment.

Compassion is a topic that's often discussed around the world in relation to kindness and generosity, but rarely is it explored on is own. This little book, with its modern take on the subject and uplifting inspiration, brings light to a life-changing subject that will appeal to readers around the world.  

 

ForgivenessCover

Forgiveness
(click to preorder!)

UK / US: October 18, 2016

To forgive is to be free. Forgiveness is one of life's great challenges; it is so difficult to let go of anger and pain once you've been hurt. But people who forgive both themselves and others tend to feel more relaxed and open, have less risk of getting stressed or depressed, and experience stronger relationships.

Holding on to past resentments and negative energy tends to cause painful memories to fester in our subconscious, which prevents us from moving forward with joy in life. Learning forgiveness allows us to move on, to create more peace in our lives, and to release ourselves from re-experiencing painful moments. 

Tucked within the pages of this book, readers will find insights and inspiration for letting go of pain, cultivating a forgiving heart, and ultimately finding a deeper sense of awareness and peace. 

  

FABULOUS FEATURES

Each of the four books will feature a similar carefully-designed layout created with the intention of providing thought-provoking (but accessible!) content. The beauty of these little books is that, while they have a beautifully consistent layout (making them a gorgeous little collection as a whole), each one zeroes in on a very specific topic, allowing readers to really home in on the subject matter.

Though each book as a unique theme, they all share these fabulous features: 

  • Inspiring Quotes: Each book features 18 quotes on its specific subject. 18! That's a lot of quotes for one topic! It was so much fun to for me to go in search of these quotes, looking for inspiration that would spark new ways of thinking about each concept, and each one has been carefully chosen to suit each topic. 

  • Bite-Sized Wisdom: Quotes are wonderful (I can't get enough of them, as you may have seen on Instagram!), but sometimes it's nice to take them a step further and explore what they're actually saying. Each quote in each book is followed by a bit of wisdom written to provoke deeper thinking. 

  • Easy-to-Do Exercises: I know, "exercises" sounds like work, but I promise these are actually enjoyable -- and so, so worth it to create more presence, gratitude, compassion, and forgiveness in your life. With each quote in the book, you'll find an activity you can do to bring inspiration into your life. 

  • Motivating Mantras: Mantras aren't something I use often, but sometimes you really just need a short phrase that you can use to remind yourself to focus your attention. Each section of each book concludes with a simple, powerful statement that you can use to remind yourself to stay present / grateful / compassionate / forgiving. 

  • Top 10 Lists: Sometimes you just need a list of actionable ideas to take what you've learned and apply it to your life. Each book features lists (like, "Top 10 Ways to Stay Present at Work") filled with inspiration to take the quotes and exercises even further in your day-to-day life. 

  • Beautiful Layouts: I designed these myself so I'm a tad bit biased, but I really think the layouts turned out beautifully. Of course the content is what's most important, but if it's beautifully packaged in bright colors with simple, inspiring illustrations, that certainly doesn't hurt, does it? 

 

If you have any desire to stay present, be grateful, cultivate compassion, or find forgiveness, these are absolutely the books for you. If you can't tell, I'm SUPER excited about these books, and I really hope you will be too! Yay for new books! 


believe, see, act: how to create your own wellth

Believe-See-Act

 

About a month ago, I was sent a copy of Jason Wachob's Wellth: How I Learned to Build a Life, Not a Résumé, and the title alone had me hooked. I love clever wordplay, and I've always believed the concept of "wealth" should include much more than financial prosperity, which is exactly what happens with Wachob's creation of the word "wellth." The book focuses on the various building blocks of wellth: eat, move, work, believe, explore, breathe, connect, love, heal, thank, ground, live, and laugh. Each of these elements is an important aspect of living a positive, present life, so it was wonderful to read about them and how they connect with one another. 

Each section of the book was filled with insights, stories, and inspiration, but my favorite section was BELIEVE. In this section, Wachob talks about how the "belief in oneself is a huge factor in successful careers, love, and life in general," and explores the idea (one that I fully support!) that everything is connected and you're exactly where you're meant to be in your life. As Wachob puts it, "You may not know why, and you may hate your current situation, but in time the reason will become clear." I love this section's focus on acceptance and the way Wachob takes acceptance a step further by reminding readers, "You can't just sit back and expect good things to happen. It requires hard work." 

There's a balance between believing in yourself, accepting what is, and taking control over your destiny, and Wachob's assessment of this balance is spot-on. In Wachob's words, believing is a three-part process. He writes, "My problem with a lot of self-help gurus is that they promote a message that is about entitlement. Yes, I truly believe that we all deserve a great life, a life filled with happiness, health, and abundance. But I also believe that this is a three-part process: believing, seeing, and doing." 

Again, I love how this process focuses on balance between acceptance and action. Below are some of Wachob's insights on this three-step process (in italics), along with my thoughts. 

 

BELIEVE 

"The first step is BELIEVING. You have to believe -- otherwise you won't accomplish anything. If you don't believe...then it's over before you even start." 

This might sound obvious, but it's important to believe in yourself, in what you can accomplish and achieve in your life. As Wachob puts it, if you don't believe, you really cannot accomplish anything, let alone big, crazy, exciting things. Of course, believing in yourself can be tricky sometimes, especially when it comes to things that might seem overwhelming or obstacle-filled. Believing in yourself is an act of self-love and, like all self-loving acts, it can prove challenging when you're going through a tough time, but it is absolute essential to achieving anything. Whether you're looking for love, aiming for that stellar career goal, or simply trying to make the most of your life, if you don't believe in yourself, you're going to have a really hard time getting where you want to go. 

 

SEE

"Next comes the importance of SEEING. If you don't envision where you want to go, then how are you going to get from point A to point B? ... The plan doesn't have to be perfect, and quite often it will change, but you have to start by envisioning it." 

Believing is so important but this next step -- seeing -- is equally as vital. If you believe you can do something, that's wonderful, but you need to have a vision of what exactly you plan to be doing. As Wachob mentions in the book, if you're looking for a partner, you need to envision exactly what traits you're looking for in that person if you ever hope to find your dream guy or girl. Believing you deserve love isn't enough; you have to envision what that love will actually look like. You have to know what specifically you want in a partner. And the same goes for any other kind of goal you're hoping to achieve. Believing in yourself is wonderful, but what does achieve that goal look like? How exactly are you going to get from where you are to where you want to be? 

  

ACT

"The third step is TAKING ACTION. You need to do what you set out to accomplish... Your behavior on the mat or at the gym (or at the office or the dinner table) affects your entire persona." 

Believing in yourself and envisioning how you're going to get from where you are to where you want to be are two essential steps for creating more wellth in your life, but the third step is absolutely essential: taking action. You can believe and envision all day long, but that's not going to get you too far if you don't take action to get where you want to be going. Wellth is created when you proactively move forward toward your goals, making positive progress with each step. (And knowing that, yes, sometimes you might take a step back or two.) What you actually do matters so much more than what you envision you'll do. Personally, I think the best way to make positive progress is to break down big goals into more manageable steps, all the while keeping your vision in mind (and never forgetting to believe in yourself!). 

Personally, I feel wellthy whenever I've followed these three steps in my life. For example, when I knew I wanted to leave my full-time job and pursue Positively Present as a career. First, I had to believe in myself, that I could actually take the leap into the unknown. Then, I had to see what life would look like if I actually did it. I had to envision the future. And, finally, I had to act. I had to venture into the unknown, choosing the unpaved path over comfort and stability. Following this three-step process (in my career, in relationships, with myself) has always lead me to feel wellthy.

This three-step process is one of the many, many insights Wachob offers in the book. It's an easy-to-read format and each section ends by summing up the key points. (I really love when books do this, as it offers reminder of the various points discussed in each section, some of which are forgotten by the time you get to the end of the chapter.) If you like Positively Present and you're interested in creating a more mindful, meaningful, and empowered life, you'll love this book. Visit the book's website to learn more here

  


WellthToday's post was sponsored by Harmony Books, publisher of Wellth: How I Learned to Build a Life, Not a Résumé, a book that redefines successful living and offers readers a new life currency to build on, one that is steeped in wellbeing—Wellth. 

ABOUT THE BOOK

Eat. Move. Work. Believe. Explore. Breathe. Connect. Love. Heal. Thank. Ground. Live. Laugh.

These are the building blocks of Wellth. In this blend of memoir and prescriptive advice, Jason Wachob shows us all how to enjoy truly “wellthy” lives—lives that are deeply rich in every conceivable way. Through his experience and personal story, as well as in exclusive material from popular expert contributors (including Dr. Frank Lipman, Dr. Lissa Rankin, Joe Cross, Charlie Knoles, Kathryn Budig, Dr. Aviva Romm, and Dr. Sue Johnson), we learn how we, too, can embrace this new movement, while exploring what we can do to make frequent deposits into our own “wellth” accounts. What’s your life worth to you? Come and explore it.

ABOUT JASON WACHOB 

Jason Wachob is the founder and CEO of mindbodygreen, the leading independent media brand dedicated to health and happiness, with 15 million monthly unique visitors. He has been featured in the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, and Vogue. Jason has a BA in history from Columbia University, where he played varsity basketball for four years. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and loves German shepherds, Chuck Taylors, and guacamole.


how to find the good in others

Find-the-Good-in-Others

 

Today's post is part of Find the Good February, a month dedicated to finding the good in your life (and in yourself!). Each week features a unique theme, and this week's theme is RELATIONSHIPS. 

 

Finding the good in others is such an important part of living a positively present life, but it's often one of life's greatest challenges. Even when it comes to those we love and choose to have in our lives, finding the good in them can sometimes be difficult. (And it goes without saying that it's extremely challenging to find the good in those you don't like very much!) This is something we all struggle with from time to time so I thought it would be a perfect topic to write about for Find the Good February. Here are some of the best ways to find the good in others (both in those you love and those you could do without...): 

 

DON'T COMPARE

One of the quickest ways to find fault in others is to compare them to someone else (or to yourself). Everyone is unique and if you're looking for someone to be just like you or someone else, you're going to have a difficult time finding the good in that individual and appreciating who s/he is. This is especially important when it comes to significant others. If you're constantly comparing your current love to someone you've loved before, how are you ever going to truly find the good in your current relationship? (Hint: you won't.) The less you compare, the easier it is to find the good. 

 

FOCUS ON THE PRESENT

Dwelling on what someone has done in the past can make it difficult to focus on who they are now. This doesn't mean you should forget what someone has done, but if someone has made positive progress or atoned for any sins committed against you, it does no good for the relationship (or you!) to continue holding a grudge in the present. People change and one way to find the good in them is to pay attention to how they act right now, not to harp on how they've behaved in the past. 

 

DROP YOUR ASSUMPTIONS

When you make assumptions (particularly about someone you don't know), finding the good can be a challenge. The best way to stop making assumptions is to keep your mind and heart open to what people are actually doing and saying. Try your hardest not to label people into "good" or "bad" categories because, just because someone has behaved badly once doesn't mean they'll behave that way again. Also, if you label someone, it can be hard to mentally shake that label. For example, if you think, "Ugh, my coworker is so annoying," you're going to be looking for the ways she annoys you, which will make it really hard to see her good traits. 

 

CULTIVATE CURIOSITY

If you want to find the good in others, it helps to be interested in them. Keep your mind (and ears! and eyes!) open and you'll be surprised by what you might discover. This ties in with dropping your assumptions. Instead of guessing what someone else is thinking or how they feel about something, ask. One of the best ways to find goodness in others is to ask lots and lots of questions. The more you know about others (especially personal details, like the fact that your boss adores his cat or your dentist has two kids), the easier it is to connect with them and notice the positive aspects. 

 

EXPECT THE BEST INTENTIONS

Another great way to find the good in others is to imagine that every single person is looking out for your best interest. This is very hard to do when someone cuts you off in traffic or your partner says something that enrages you, but the more you focus on how people might be looking out for you, the easier it becomes to find the good in them. More often than not, people do have the best of intentions (even if it might not always seem that way) and, even if they aren't specifically looking out for you, they're not likely looking to hurt you. Keeping this in mind will help you when you're struggling to find the good in difficult people. 

 

APPRECIATE THE FLAWS

Each and every one of us is flawed in some way. We all have emotional baggage that we drag around with us. We've all been hurt by someone. We've all been born with unique personality traits that are sometimes less-than-ideal. Appreciating flaws might sound negative, but it's actually a very positive thing to do when it comes to finding the good in others. Keeping in mind that we all -- including you! -- have our stuff (emotions, personalities, etc.) makes it easier to be compassionate and empathetic when others aren't showing their best sides, allowing us to find the good even when things aren't great. 

 

We're all crazily unique beings and, to be honest, it's a wonder that any of us get along at all! I know how hard it can be to find the good in certain people. Some people are just difficult (and, hey, you might even be one of those people!) and some situations are downright challenging -- but if you strive to find the good in others, you'll not only improve your relationships with them, but you'll strengthen yourself emotionally as well. Plus, the more you focus on the good, the easier it becomes to enjoy time spent with others (even if they aren't people you particularly enjoy). Seeking out the good in others won't make every person seem wonderful, but it's definitely going to help you make the most of each and every one of your relationships. 

 
PPGTL-Get-the-Book
Want to explore how to have a more positive, present life? Pick up your very own copy of my book, The Positively Present Guide to Life. The book is all about how to stay positive and present in various areas of life including: at home, at work, in love, in relationships, and during change. I've turned back to it often this year as I've gone through major changes and it's been tremendously helpful. The book is filled with inspiring images that make it even easier to stay positive and present. You can learn more about the book and find out where to buy a copy here. (You can also get a sneak peek at the book, access a free download, and watch the book trailer!)